guys im refereeing a ton of soccer games this weekend for a tournament.

touch the players pee pees

give red cards to all the spics

are you trying to get yourself killed?
red card the star player on every team you ref for, they would be ineligible to play in future games. it will rustle the jimmies of all the parents except the ones with kids on the bench. be a hero, I believe in you.

>>77569088
Cards for cursing.
Tell coaches to sit down.
Flag every illegal throw in.
Wave off "injured" players.
Force re-attaching the goal nets.
10 minutes added on.
Call both linesmen for conferences in the middle of the pitch every 10 minutes.
Feign injury.
Wave off every corner at the smallest hold in the box.
Keep telling the wall to back off in FKs.
Make every FK taker push the ball back another meter.
Disallow FKs until you blow your whistle. (Keep pointing at it for an inscrutable amount of time as if the FK taker is retarded)
Interrupt the game for no reason and draw a square with your fingers to signal video review even though there is no video. Walk off the pitch with your linesmen for 10 minutes while you "review the play".
Make direct FKs indirect for no reason.
Make the goalie change sides in goal kicks for no reason.
Ignore substitutions for way too long.
Ignore "injured" players' return for even longer. If they dare come in before you signal, card them and have them wait outside for another 5 minutes.
End the half during a counter attack.
End the game before a FK/corner.

That's about it.

>>77569460
Can't believe I forgot "card the player for walking to be substituted".

Marc Batta nevar forget. Wanker.

>>77569460
>>77569491
I see you are quite experienced in destroying football games

>>77569460
Good post

Worst refs I've ever had are SUPER CONFIDENT in their calls being the correct calls and won't listen to either team in terms of dictating the game.

Use your fucking head and figure out which teams tell the truth/bullshit/dive/etc. Then use the teams to help you decide calls when there's no possible way you could have seen what happened.

Also if you want to be a WOAT ref, make sure you call every little fucking niggling foul that happens in the game. Completely ruining the pace of the game is what shit refs do best.

>>77569460
Quality

>>77569088
every nigger gets booked before the match starts for being brown

>>77569460
devilish

>>77569460
>Make direct FKs indirect for no reason

GOAT

>>77570764

>Worst refs I've ever had are SUPER CONFIDENT in their calls being the correct calls and won't listen to either team in terms of dictating the game.

You shouldn't be allowing players to in any way impact or influence what you do, you're an impartial official refereeing by what your or your linesmen see

>Use your fucking head and figure out which teams tell the truth/bullshit/dive/etc.

Don't make any assumptions about who is lying at all, you have to take every incident at face value, the moment you start making assumptions you're no longer impartial.

>Then use the teams to help you decide calls when there's no possible way you could have seen what happened.

Holy shit no, you never make calls on things you or your officials didn't see. If you didn't see it, you didn't see it, teams need to grow up and accept you don't have 10 eyes and cameras on every part of the pitch

>>77572361
wow there's a 100% chance your team dives like faggots and gets the calls

>>77572385

There's a 100% chance you're a fat faggot Yank that started watching football about 2 weeks ago with that kind of naivety

>>77569460
This

If you want to sabotage a team and not make it obvious you should santcion every little infraction they do in midfield and/or while trying to build an action, it will break their pace get them nervous and likely lose. If you doing just for the seek of evil, >>77569460

File: 1501852118255.jpg (143KB, 1334x1334px) Image search: [Google]

143KB, 1334x1334px

>>77569460

mfw had refs like this who hate their lives

>>77569460
damn nigga

just be yourself

>>77569460
>mfw experienced a ref like this once
>parents slashed his cars tires

>>77569460
Absolute masterpiece

Yellow card for dabbing, cheap 2nd yellow for protesting

Ez

>>77569088
be a smug bastard when giving someone a card

>>77569460
Master Class Ref.
>End the half during a counter attack.
Absolutely devilish

>>77569460
that's some grade A evil shit right there

Go hard on generally unenforced rules. Keeper takes even half a second over their goal kick time and call it as a foul, any player says as much as a word to you for a call, give them a yellow for insubordination.

>>77569460
this is worse than denying an orgasm, they'll want blood.

>>77569460
>End the game before a FK/corner.
End it when the ball is mid air.

give yellow cards for every little thing until you either send off 5 players on the same team or until the players start playing defense so softly the game turns into a goalfest

it'd be like watching basketball on a football pitch. I'd say it could even make americans enjoy the sport but I remembered they won't watch anything lacking athletic big black men

>>77569460
Satania is that you?