>You are stranded in a remote island in the Pacific >You

Ronaldo because he'd let me fuck him

>>76242724
Tsunaldo because I can pour coconut water on his naked body while tsuuuuuuuing

>>76242730
what would that even do

messi because he's probably a normal dude in the head and would be likely as shocked and helpless as I am, and we could work together eventually to get off the island.

penaldo would make you build a palanquin and then sacrifice you at the first opportunity to survive

>>76242724
Messi. He would roll around and be harmless

Ronaldo would attract dangerous wildlife with his constant TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUing

>>76242724
messi

ronaldo would probably hit you with a coconut, tie you to a tree and rape you

>>76242724
Messi. he doesnt consume anything other than cheese pizza and sprite so he'll die fast and i can eat him or if hes actually the messiah he'll carry me on his back across the water to civilization.

Messi's autism would stop him eating most of the stuff on the island so you could eat it and survive longer.

>>76242743
Nothing, I'm gonna die anyway

>>76242730
fpbp

>pick Ronaldo
>hungry after a week
>have just eaten coconuts and a handful of scuttle crabs
>wake up in the middle of the night, hearing a noise
>black out
>wake up tied up
>Ronaldo is trying to eat me to save himself

Messi

you just know Ronaldo would be a piece of shit and try to hurt you in some way

Messi would be such a good bro and would even let you lead and listen to your ideas, eventually you can survive together as castaways.

Plus once you get onto the mainland, Antonella can introduce you to some hot homely women

>>76242724
gonna go with Messi
Ronaldo would probably try to touch me at some point, not cool

>>76242724
messi

ronaldo would spend his whole time tanning

Messi because he's smaller than me. I want to dominate the hierarchy.

>>76242724

depends on if i want to be rescued by qatar or the united arab emirates

ronaldo.

I could watch him do shirtless sit ups while we wait for rescue

>>76242724
Tsugod and we'll tsuuuuuuu out of that island, the he'll win his 6th ballon d'or

probably Donaldo because he speaks at least some English

Which one of them speaks more languages?

>>76245737
Messi.

>>76245773
he can't even speak english

ronaldo got more meat, i can feast better if i need. so ronaldo

>>76245855
>Catala
>Spanish
>French
>Italian

>>76245773

He barely speaks proper Spanish

>>76245855
>>76245895
>Spanish
>Catalanish
>Porteño
>Lunfardo
>Rosarino
>Boludo

>>76245855
he can't even speak spanish

>>76245895
>>76245917
Just spanish and becaouse he's from argentina.

One is an autistic manletian manchild that will just simply be a burden to me, the other one is a narcistic metrosexual.

Neither desu

>>76242724
Messi will take less food

>>76245956
>metrosexual

Can I get a female companion?

>>76245870
The question is, which parts of Ronaldo do you eat, and which do you discard?

Messi
We can play football in the beach and have fun making SOS signs and spend our days inventing a new Sprite recipe with the local herbs.

Messi. He will eat less, and worst case scenario I can easily overpower him, kill him, and cook him.

File: 7e8cd1f64415072e49bf4104ab6de013.jpg (67KB, 615x450px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 615x450px

>>76247616

>overpowering a midget with superhuman strength

i'd like to see you try

>>76245936
Argentina doesn't speak Spanish.

We speak Castilian

The answer is clearly Messi, ronaldo would be like being stranded with a woman (mentally) but it's a male, if you're a homo then ronaldo is the choice for the gay sex

Ronaldo would fuck you over to save himself, so Messi by default

>>76242980

He's not trying to eat you, anon...

Higuain
>Gets hungry
>Tries to eat you
>Chokes
>???
>Food for months

>>76252430
You can also use his massive blubber as a raft

Messi
>PUNISHED
>manlet
>will probably spend most of the time crying in some corner

Mothnaldo
>has the body and the will to survive
>will most likely betray you to save himself
>might also rape you

Ronaldo. Messi would just get mad that I'm not Xavi and force me to play on the wing.

>>76252065
Good post, keep going.

>>76242773
>attract
>not scare off

Ronaldo because he can speak my language, also he's tall enough to grab coconuts :)

>You won't watch an island survive reality show with Messi and Ronaldo

Feelsbadman