Hello,you have reached Manchester United Corporation Customer

One Griezmann please

a slovak has been bullying me. please assist

>>76098508
Hello your company didn't gave me the proper Soccer Supporter Experience™ you've been promised. Can I get a refund?

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>>76098585
No problem sir, we have sent a request to our network in Portugal to assist you

Hello sir 6th place wasn't very good an my chelsea friends are making fun of me

i might have to switch to chelsea if you do not resolve this issue

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>>76098599
I'm berri sorry to hear dat our serbices hab not met your expectations,Manchester United™ values you as a cash dispens- i mean customer and we will be berri happy to assist with your refund if you could play a small cancelletion fee of £699.96

Hello.
I attempted The Dab™, but injured myself while doing so. What should I do now?

yes can I get one PL please?

Hi, I'm interested in the Mata/Herrera cuddle package™. How much would that run me, and what's the availability date on that?

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>>76098657
I'm berri sorry to hear that 6th place is unsatisfactory to you,Mr. Perro Cava, perhaps I can interest you with a Paul Pogba™ Dab University™ DVD which usually costs £120.00 however I can issue a special coupon which allows you to purchase it for only £119.99, as Mister Van Gaal used to say "Its a process!"

>>76098704
As you are a valuable Manchester United™ Full kit Wank- I mean Full Time Fan™ , I have booked for you a visit to the nearest NHS-run Hospital,which according to your location and British Healthcare Procedures, will take approximately 639 Weeks until your appointment with Dr.Patel who is also my son

>>76098720
Hello sir, we are sorry to inform you that Manchester United™ does not play in the Peruvian League, however you can help us win the English™ Premier™ League™ by donating from a minimum of £1000.000, in return you will get all the latest Manchester United™ merchandise including a bomb proof suit that will ensure your protection any time you visit the Manchester Arena

>>76098730
Hello Joe from Alaska, the Mata/Herrera Cuddle Package™ is currently unavalible. However for a cheap price of £69.99, you can buy yourself a sample of Wayne Rooney's hair before transplant surgery,you will have yourself a piece of history in your hands!

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>>76098508

allo. wen is Mancester United come to Delhi??

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>>76098809
>639 Weeks until your appointment with Dr.Patel who is also my son

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>>76098823
allo Raj from Dehli, I'm berri sorry to inform you that Manchester United™ lack the sufficient funds to book a trip to India HOWEVER we can accomodate you and your family to come to Old Brappford for FREE, Great Britain and Manchester United™ welcomes fans from all over the world in celebration of multiculturism

>>76098823
When they acquire enough currency to pay for them to come

Hi, I want clarification on chevrolet red mini religion of choice? I having concerns abt dabbing being haram as well, also why Ibra appear Jewy?

ibra has tattoos is haram please don't play him!!

This is unironically one of the best /sp/ threads I've ever seen.

Hi im Tod from new haven and i was wondering who do you woukd be the starting striker?

>>76098980
He copied my meme and I didn't get any credit.REEEEEEEEEEEE

>>76098606
What is it Pajeet?

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>>76099177
Mr.Aldo, it seems we have a Slovakian HATER preying on our Manchester United™ fanbase through verbal terrorism,we request that you help us counter this threat with F.A.C.T.S
>Five
>Answers to
>Counter
>Terrible
>Slovaks

>>76098508
Damir Skomina here. I was told to call in about the bribe money for match fixing?

Hello, I saw neighbour kid making over 200 passes yesterday afternoon at the backyard, however his celebration moves were very poor, unoriginal to be honest. Could you give me contact for someone from your transfer department anyway please?

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>>76099279
No problem Sir/Maam/Whatever identity you wish to identify in 2017,we'll call- hey wait a minute, we don't have a Slovakian in our Customer Database™....

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10/10, masterful posting by Philippines

Greetings sir, I am interested in attending your famous Dab University. Could you please inform me of any special offers and discounts available for long term accomodation and food expenses at the famous Red Cafe?

If possible, I would like to stay in a seperate dormitory away from weaker dabbers like Fosu-Mensah and if possible I wish to bunk with your top dabbers Paul Pogba and Jesse Lingard.

>>76099308
Not in your database. But surely you have him as your department manager.