You're a defender and you see this nigga running at

>>74872335
I wait until he's sluggishly made his way into the penalty box with his manlet legs chugging as fast as they can
Then I look to the ref for his signal
If I get the signal,
I foul him.

>>74872335
easy

look at the ball and not his feet then clear the ball

defending isn't hard

>>74872387
t. Brendan Rodgers

Tackle him and win the ball, obviously.

slap his son's mother's ass and see what he does

Break his legs desu senpai

>>74872335
do whatever chelsea defenders did :)

>>74872866
Throw an Argentina shirt at him

Distract him with a sprite

Surround him with 3 and when he passes it off not worry because Higuain, Aguero, Di Maria and Lavezzi are shite

call casemiro

>>74872335
As he runs past me, remind him that the goalkeeper behind me is Cech from his Chelsea days.

Lunging tackle with two stretched legs on his disgusting tattooed calf. Make history for breaking that niggers legs.

fall over

Break both of his legs and be hated for the rest of your life by everyone. Enjoy every second of it.

>>74873037
>>74873170
>thinking nothing would happen to you after destroying the career of a multi millionaire
lmao you'd probably disappear and later get traded as a sex slave to boko haram or a mexican cartel

>>74873185
luckily savages with nothing but soccer in their lives aren't known for their wealth and lynchmobs can be easily dispersed even with rubber bullets

Relax because I play at a pub-league level, which is defensively 2 notches above La Liga, and expose him in due time.

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>>74872335

>stop right there, criminal scum

*teleport behind him*
Nothing personnel kid

>>74873272
Well Messi killed Antonella's boyfriend, so he probably won't spare money to get the guy who destroyed his career.

>>74872870
this lel

>>74873337
I will listen to russian wisdom

its simple, step back and allow him to expose himself

Shout "Pass it to me" cause we play at same team.

take a shit in his path

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>>74872440
But it doesn't work.

>>74872335
do a boateng and just fall over, might as well accept it.

>>74873873
>Spanish defending

Fookin' 'ell, lad

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Recklessly dive in with my studs up around knee-height or so.

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>>74873891
Let me see him try to dribble with Ryan Shawcross at his back.

>>74873911
>sanic

fpbp tbqh familianos

Break his leg duuuuuh !!!

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I show him this picture.

2-feet knee high sliding tackle ofc

Take big pookie to the stadium with me and when he comes near me, take it from under the seat and pull the trigger.

Suck his duck

tell him a switched his sprite for 7up before the game

I cut inside.

Just put my hand over him before he accelerates, kinda how Matic plays and also how Lampard fucked him in the ass many times.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKZw63v6WoE

>>74872335
pull down his shorts and blow him

>>74874392
wtf is this meme

>>74872335
Wait for le cut inside move and shift to my right forcing him to get tackled or pass the ball

>>74875989
Ignore it, it's contrived any way

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>>74874392
>not posting the real image

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turn 360 degrees and walk away

>>74876599
i like thios meeme

>>74872335
this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUUn_FLzVuA

>>74876599
nice

>>74872387
I have never seen this amount of delusion before
>that flag
let me educate you. the worst thing you can do against messi is look at the ball. only way messi can be stopped is by blocking his body/path and sticking as close to him as possible. looking at the ball is exactly what made boateng and milner memes. looking at the ball is what allows messi to go past 5 defenders.No matter how fast your legs are as a defender's, messi's is faster, and he keeps the ball close to his. you watch the ball and try to reach for it and he nutmegs you. But if you watch his body, use your hands to pull, shove and body him whenever you can along with 2 other defenders to get him off balance then you have a chance.

tell iniesta to get off the pitch. lets see what the nigga can do now that hes all alone lol.

>>74876639

Fucking beautiful
You can tell this is one of only a few times Messi has ever lost the ball this way and is visually frustrated. Two goats at work

>>74876820
Can you even breathe with his dick in your throat?

>>74876639
>2-1 down
cool vid bruh

>>74876924
i breathe down your mom's pussy mate

>>74872387
prepare your anus

Suffer a boateng accident.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O77vzeFrbjo

How do you stop this?

>>74872335
Funnel him into the corner, never allow him to cut into his left, plenty of teams know how to handle him, he's notoriously left legged.

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>>74877009
>MPH
>FEET
>INCHES
>YARDS

[...]

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>>74872387
>yfw messi moves the ball

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>>74872335
Messi sees this man waiting for him, what does he do?

>>74877009
i pray americans never start actually liking football is this is the dumb shit we're going to have to put up with

Just tackle him la
https://youtu.be/pGeTyGsyKV8

>>74874392
>le footy lad

>>74876955
Rekt

>>74877009
when a handegg game only has 15 minutes of action you have to come up with a lot of repetitions with lots of flashing things to make up for the other 2 hours of shitfest I suppose

>>74877492
>the call that...

>>74877009
> ameridatas

>>74877466
>>74877557
>>74878142
>>74877843
There is nothing wrong with analyzing it with facts, the comparison to Jamal Charles is especially interesting
You shitskins are just mad it's not about divenaldo

>>74877492
can someone give me a quick rundown on this guy?

>>74880325
>uuuh he went at five hundred miles per hour and shot at 360 degrees
this is not analysis

realize that it's not 2011 anymore so just go for a tackle

>>74872933
this

try to break his legs

>>74877009
this is fucking hilarious

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>>74872335
Nema problema

>>74877009

why do burgers do stuff like this


why do they need to translate basic obvious infomation into retarded 'stats'

i guarentee messi is not seeing 2 defenders thinking of his 'playbook' and deciding to deploy his 'inside-out-move'

>>74877466
>>74877557
>>74878142
>>74877843
>>74896563
>>74897861

there's nothing wrong with that video. it was pretty interesting actually

>>74876820
>tf
>tt

>>74877009
what is it about americans that makes them so cheesy?

>>74872335
Haven't played soccer since I was a kid. Due to advanced autism, I had a short attention span which caused me to be bad at defense. When coach took me off the ball for more than a minute I disengaged from the game.

If past experience is any indication of my current football skills, I will be looking at airplanes or picking dandelions when this guy heads my way.

I imagine I will do a bicycle kick block and win the game.

>>74877611
damn dude thats best tackle ive seen

>>74872870
Underrated

>>74876820
>only way messi can be stopped is by blocking his body/path and sticking as close to him as possible.
This. Keep myself between him and goal, only go to ground if he's out of space, like in >>74876639

>>74872335
Go for the fake lunge.

Messi instinctively cuts against the lunging foot, and then you shoot your non-lunging foot back for the block.

>>74877466
>>74877557
>>74877843
>>74878142
>>74896563
>>74897861
>>74899585
what is it about non-americans that makes them so fuckin retarded? this shit aint hard to undertand or appreciate.

>>74873312
kek
>>74909550
ya guys. dont be so retarded as to confuse american judgment for shitty judgment.