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Hey, /soc/. My Internet friend with benefits wants us to back

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Thread replies: 60
Thread images: 18

Hey, /soc/. My Internet friend with benefits wants us to back to being "just friends" and I don't want it.

We had a disagreement like ten days ago, and he very quickly was like "I can't do this anymore, it's too stressful." and pretty much said he didn't want us to screw around anymore. This is alien to me, since we've always had that flirtatious/lewd relationship. I'm strongly attracted to him and I know he has feelings for me as well, so I just want to be able to do stuff with him again. How do I get him back, /soc/? I'm fully prepared to listen to what he says and be less controlling. Sending him nudes is off the table, by the way. I just want him back so we can do our regular lewd stuff and talk about porn and sex.

PS. Not interested in anyone else, so attempts to get my Kik will be ignored.
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>>25629694
Just... ask him why he's stressful about it and you actually kinda like him? But it'll be awkward anyway
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demand he show you his dick in a weird autistic way involving jurisprudence imho
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>>25629694
Pressing the issue won't fix it. Give him space, respect his needs, and maybe he'll come around. No way to know for sure... but you'll lose him for sure if you don't.
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>>25629694

>I'm fully prepared to listen to what he says and be less controlling

He stuck his dick in crazy, had an epiphany about it, and regrets it. He is currently severing ties.
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>>25629694

Odds are good he's in love with you and doesn't have the guts to confess it, and it's too painful to continue the relationship the way it is so he's trying to get distance.
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>>25630478
>>25631112
it's literally one of these two options. so decide if either one sounds likely and go from there.
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>>25631112
Yeah, this could very well be it. I've been in love with a girl from the other side of the planet for years. The feelings are mutual and we have seen each other irl a couple of times but neither of us has the desire to leave their home behind or the means to live together. We make the most of it but knowing that it will have to end at some point sucks really bad. This is a reality you have to deal with if you want to indulge in long distance love.
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>>25631140
I didn't even notice that she's talking about an online relationship. all bets are off
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Ask him directly why.
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>>25629694
Presuming you're a chick, welcome to what it's like to be a guy. Bet you he's found someone local, that's how it goes for us. Chicks will use a guy for attention until they get someone local, hell you'll do the same thing.
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>>25629694
>1 post by this id

Why are you niggers replying?
>>
OP here, back again.

>>25629726
I know why he's stressed about it and I want to try and help him. Things are already awkward between us, so I doubt it can get much worse.

>>25630406
He didn't respond to a message I sent the other night, so I sent another just now being like "So... no, then?" Ugh. I'm trying not to be pushy about it but it's so hard, I just want to know if I have a chance. If not, I'll probably have to just leave altogether.

>>25630478
Few girls are really without their neurotic tendencies. I'll admit to mine.

>>25631112
I seriously doubt he's in love with me.

>>25631169
I have.

>>25631205
He can't have, considering he's a shut-in NEET like me and doesn't go out unless absolutely necessary. I will not find someone else IRL 'cause for one thing: I don't want anyone else.

>>25631347
I fell to sleep. Sorry.
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>>25631960
But you can't know if you have a chance. You have to just wait and see. It's hard... but if you can't do it, you really might as well just walk away.

Also, if you only want him to the exclusion of anyone else, he isn't just a FWB. Maybe it's time you acknowledge that.
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>>25631971
I don't wanna lose him... if he doesn't respond to my message, I'm just gonna leave him be for some days then try again later. Don't wanna push him away more than I have to.

And well... our FWB thing isn't really that. It's just easier to call it that. When we had our thing, we wouldn't see other people so it was honestly probably closer to a real relationship, just without the label of boyfriend and girlfriend. Neither of us want or are ready for a relationship though, so we just had the flirty-but-not-seeing-anyone-else thing. It's weird I know, but it seemed to work.
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>>25631975
Fear of certain words doesn't mean that wasn't what you had. Honestly, that might be what scared him off. It became too much of a relationship.
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Where are you both from. Op?
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this chick sounds so retarded i cant
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>>25631981
Well, the start of the disagreement began when we talked about exchanging nudes. I wasn't grasping what he was saying properly and he got frustrated and called it off. I understand what he meant now, but he's basically said it's too late now. He wanted us to do more stuff and I'm fully up for that, I'm just not comfortable with showing him my body just yet. He was fine with my being shy, he just got pissed 'cause I wasn't understanding him properly.

>>25631982
I'm in the UK, he's in Las Vegas.
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>>25631990
Send him a surprise pic. That will surely change his mind. Especially if you have big boobs.
But in all seriousness, it sounds like a really silly thing to be angry and flustered about (Im talking about him, not you)
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>>25632084
The good 'ol "i'm sorry" pic, always works
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>>25632084
He can be sensitive and has quite a few problems (BPD, Autism and depression. As do I, just minus the BPD) so he gets upset more/quicker than a lot of people. I don't blame him for any of it, our combined issues just equal out to more problems than the typical pair.
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There are a ton of thirsty guys without problems out there looking for any attention from girls, don't feel bad if you lose him, you can guaranteed get a better guy, one that ones to fuck about with you.

That being said, you need tell him what you are and aren't going to do, and if he doesn't accept that there isn't much more you can do, other than crossing your boundaries..
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>>25632257
I only want him, though. I'm really stubborn and I don't want to throw away more than three years so easily.
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Tbqh I'm working on the theory he's met somebody irl and is looking to shrug you off.

Sorry, love.
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>>25632381
>three years of internet fwb with someone who lives on the other side of the planet
jesus christ

grow up and go outside
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>>25632381
>I don't want to throw away more than three years so easily.
>long distance Internet relationship
Fuckin' kids these days.
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>>25632381
He either didn't see you as important and really didn't care about you, just decided to fuck around with you. Or he's in love with you, I can guarantee it's one of the two, online relationships are extremely doomed to fail. You need mutual expecations and trust me, this isn't something that's come because of you two's self diagnosed mental illnesses, this happens in most online relationships. You're better to move on, once you do you'll realize how much you didn't really like him in the first place. Trust me.
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>>25632381
Then you just need to talk to him, but there is nothing you can do if neither of you are willing to budge on what you both want. The only thing you can do is talk to him about it, there have been some good suggestions why in this thread already.

If he doesn't want it, there is not much you can do to change his mind unless you change to be what he wants, which is hard to do.

I'm sorry, sometimes some people aren't made for each other.
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>>25632505
We aren't self-diagnosed, I'm not one of those Tumblr kiddies that makes stuff like that up for attention. I'm almost 23 years old. I do fucking like him though, a lot. Would I sink into depression each time he cuts me off for several months if I didn't care? Doubtful.

>>25632541
Bluh. I feel like if circumstances were different, we could have something special. There's just the huge distance and the matter of our problems. We talked about meeting up in future to hang out if the planets aligned, but I doubt it will happen. I'unno. I just wanted a shot at us having something.
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>>25632604
You can still masturbate on webcam with him and sleep together on skype and all that lovey dovey shit, as long as both people are fine with an LDR you can make them work, and there is always the possibility of meetup.

If he wants you to show more, it's not that weird for someone like you to show more after knowing him for 3 years plus. I would highly recommend you try and escalate with him and see if he wants it.
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>>25632617
Well, he's kinda said he only wants us to be friends now and I'm too shy for naked stuff at the moment anyways so I'm basically fucked. I'll just see what else he has to say, if anything at all.
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>>25632670
If you want something special, getting naked and fucking is pretty much mandatory. You're not going to have a real relationship with a guy unless you have a good sex life. If you want to break out of your shell, just anonymously jerk off with guys on omegle or something, no one will know it's you and it's good practice if you're self conscious about how you look.

Maybe it's a case of you not knowing what you want with the guy? I really don't know whether you want 'something special' with him or a 'friends with benefits' situation, so maybe think about what you want, and then talk to him about what you want. All you gotta do is have good communication with him, and if the relationship has any chance you'll most likely succeed, but some people aren't made to fit together.
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>>25632688
>If you want something special, getting naked and fucking is pretty much mandatory. You're not going to have a real relationship with a guy unless you have a good sex life. If you want to break out of your shell, just anonymously jerk off with guys on omegle or something, no one will know it's you and it's good practice if you're self conscious about how you look.

of all the shitty terrible advise I`ve seen on this site over the years this might actually be the worst.
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>>25632739
how do you figure?
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>>25632739
The jerking off on Omegle to boost confidence advice is terrible, yes.

But:

>If you want something special, getting naked and fucking is pretty much mandatory. You're not going to have a real relationship with a guy unless you have a good sex life.

Is pretty sound. Only chumps get in relationships where sex is not guaranteed. Sex is a survival instinct and a natural and healthy way to release dopamine (your bodies reward system for doing something good).
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>>25632688
I'm definitely not gonna cheat on him, especially not with randoms. I couldn't and wouldn't do that to myself or him. Plus seeing other dude's dick wouldn't get me off in the slightest, I need to be invested in someone to feel attracted to them. I'm not into soulless sex.
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>>25632974
I'm not going to reveal my gender cause it doesn't matter , but woukd you like to talk on a messenger with me? I'm here to help you solve this problem you are having. Sometimes just venting and having someone to talk to is comforting enough for the time being. The only reason I rather not discuss publicly here is for it doesn't really seem to be helping and you seem pressured : /
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>>25632974
It's not cheating if you're simply friends with benefits, it doesn't seem like you even know what you want.

Think about what you want and go to him and tell him what you want. It's up to him then to decide if he wants that or not.

There is nothing more you can do, other than compromise on what you want.
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>>25633032
Do you have a Steam? It's the only place I'd feel comfortable talking on.

>>25633049
It's cheating to me and I know for sure it'd be cheating to him. I'm not into it at all. I'm just gonna talk to him about stuff and try to resolve it that way.
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>>25633126
Yeah I do, I'm going to post my kik just send me a message of your steam name and I'll add you, I rather my kik here than steam if that's ok
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>>25633167
Momotara32
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>demon cutie is back
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>>25633167
Message sent.

>>25633175
Someone remembers me? Hey there, Anon.
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>>25633199
Of course I do. You got a place in my mind since the first time I saw you post
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OP here, back again likely for the final time. Me and him are over. I told him I didn't want to be just his friend and that I'd go and leave him be, he then freaked out and started comparing me to his rapist ex. I wasn't even permitted to say goodbye before he removed me from Skype.

See you, space cowboy. The thread can be left to die now.
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>>25633719
I'm sad you decided to block me but I understand your frustration and sorrow, please just know I have confidence in you and I know you are a smart strong person, I'm always here for you if you decide to unblock me, I'm here to help but I don't want to push myself into your life if you rather me out -momo
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>>25632688
>>25632831
that's fucking awful advice and it's basically saying sexless relationships are invalid. What about asexual guys?
Holy shit me and my boyfriend have been together for years and love each other to death, apparently he's a chump and our love doesn't matter.
People like you are retarded.
>>25632739
this.
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>>25634751
Keep in mind that a good hunk of guys on here hav veeeery little relationship experience. Hell I bet a few in this thread were hoping OP's relationship failed so they could jump in and play Captain Saveahoe in hopes of getting nudes.

Tl:dr Are you really that shocked at this point?
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>>25634751
apparently reading the word 'pretty much' is hard.

kys
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>>25634751

>"MY ONE EXAMPLE OF AN ASEXUAL MALE IS REPRESENTATIVE OF THE 9X% OF MALES OF THE POPULATION WHO ARE SEXUAL AND DO DESIRE SEXUAL CONTACT, YOU SHITLORD"
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>>25634751

I mean it's pretty obvious the anons were trying to get some action out of the girl when they felt she was in vulnerable state.

Just jerk off anonymously on Omegle -wink wink- how about exactly at this time -wink wink- it'll help a lot.
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>>25633719
Life sucks, wear a cup.
In all seriousness, sad to hear but life goes on. Based on what you've said, it seems like the guy wasn't worth it.
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>he doesn't want to be more than friends
>hey /soc/ how do i manipulate and trick this guy into being more than friends
>he blocked me? buh?????? i'm definitely the victim here
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>>25634795
that's kinda sexist mate .
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>>25629694
quit being a drama queen.
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>>25633719
>believing in successful LDRs
you're doing it wrong, you can't beat statistics
Successful LDRs are extra, not standard. Also if it was about sending nudes (first thread I think) then it makes it sound like he was just another horny desperate who just wanted to fap. And you were another girl too attached or stupid to notice it. Nothing new.
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Welcome to real life, kid.
He just wanted to get on with it and see your genitals
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>>25639326
disagree, she sounds like some kind of super prude never nude weirdo. maybe he wanted a girl who will actually do lewd things with him. which is fine, part of relationships involve sex. there's no way around that. getting naked isn't even a big deal, and this girl still couldn't do it for a guy she knew and loved for three years. wtf? in the end I guess it was just two crazies having dumb issues with each other. maybe it's for the best for both of them that it's over :D
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>>25629694
>I'm fully prepared to listen to what he says and be less controlling
Obviously not since he's telling you what he wants and you're saying fuck that and trying to be controlling by forcing him back into a relationship. He has ever right not to be with you, and you have to respect that. You will not accept that and that's why you've resorted to asking strangers for help for a problem you know won't be solved. Fucking hypocrites I swear.
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