Monosyllabic salutation! Short colloquial inquiry as to how you

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Monosyllabic salutation! Short colloquial inquiry as to how you are doing? Acronym-filled sentence describing my height, build, and complexion. Another acronym-filled sentence describing the height, build, and complexion of my ideal match. List of activities that I say I enjoy, but really only put in the ad to make you want to sleep with me more. Completely superficial request to do something non-romantic, with 100% chance of a mention of the words "or possibly more". Sincere request for picture, which is pointless as I will hump your elbow if you manage to get within 10 feet of me no matter what you look like. Earnest desire to send you a picture of a very large penis I found on the internet in the belief that you will think it is my penis, and want to sleep with me even more than you already do.

Reitteration of my desire for you to contact me, with a phone number and/or IM name if I'm really desperate and in a hurry.

Disyllabic exit greeting,
My Name.