Can we have an unrequited love thread? I'm not talking

>>25589503
Here's mine I guess, hoping more people will post their stories so I don't feel so alone in this situation.

>Have had best friend since I was 15 that I met online
>She's a lesbian, so I never thought of her in any way beside a friend for most of our friendship
>We both dated, talked about how shitty girls can be, hell we even dated the same girls a couple times
>Never really felt "right" when I was dating other people
>A couple years ago, it finally hit me that I was actually in love with my best friend
>When dating the other girls, I just felt like I was doing things because that's what was expected of me
>When it came to my friend, I was doing things purely because I liked to see her happy
>Talking to other girls, I feel like I'm just going through the motions of a conversation, never really feel invested in it, sometimes even feel like I'm being forced to talk to them
>Whenever my best friend talks to me it's all I want to pay attention to
>I hadn't noticed that I had felt this way for a long time, and when I finally realized it I felt horrible about it
>Ended up telling my friend after stressing about it for a couple months
>She says "I'm just not into guys, I'll never be able to love you back like that, but if I were to love any guy it would probably be you." which has stuck with me since she said it
>Can't get over her
>Can't bring myself to try to date other people
>I don't even enjoy casual sex and I only "date" and "hook up" with other people because my friend tells me to, presumably because she wants me to get over her, but I just can't, not by choice

I've known her for 11 years, we've talked almost every single day since then, sometimes spending 10+ hours every day in skype playing games and talking several days in a row.

She used to act the same way, but I'm pretty sure lately she's bored of me, or trying to distance herself from the friendship. Love is stupid. I hate it.

Yes absolutely.

>Friends since we were 12, 25 now nearly 26.
>Had feelings for 10+ years, only told her in the last 2 years.

Now she knows I full blown love her, I told her so. Over the years she's gone from happy, clean, surrounded by good people to depressed, BPD, covered in tattoos, just getting off a weed addiction. Dated nothing but massive douchebags her whole life, been engaged twice. This hurts me because I know I could treat her better, I could give her everything she wants and more (a safe place, protection, children) I could marry this girl tomorrow, none of her flaws bother me in the slightest.
I still can't work out exactly why she won't consider me as a partner, I've known her the longest and stuck with her through thick and thin. She herself said I'm the most reliable friend she has, only guy she knows with his shit together. The best explanation I ever got out of her was she was drunk, something along the lines of I'm too good for her and she feels insecure around guys with their shit together because she doesn't have. And she sees relationships as temporary but friendship as permanent. I'm not sure I fully believe her, there has to be other reasons. I wish she would just say she just can't stomach the thought of sleeping in the same bed as me.

I've no intention of persuing a relationship with her, because she doesn't want me to. I can only hope she will wake up and smell the roses one day and see that I'm her best option for a happy life. I'm a kissless virgin who has never even come close to having a date, ever and I would still wait til the stars go dark for this person. But I know she will never change her mind.

>>25589615

To make matters and feelings worse, she has recently said how she wants children in the next 2 years, and doesn't expect to find "the one" to have children with. She's talking surrogacy and donors, and wants me to be the father. She's discussed it with her mother who agreed it is a good idea because I would be a great father and good genes. Went on to say how we would have to live under the same roof and raise the kid together. Also how it would be great because if I want kids but can't find "the one" she would carry my child for me as a surrogate.

Literally, she wants my babies and wants to live under the same roof but can't see me as more than a close friend. This tears my heart.

There's a girl I work with who's a bit older than me and straight, so that won't happen.
Then there's a guy double my age. We playfully flirt with each other and there's probably a chance, but i just don't wanna lose my job over it since it always comes out

>>25589615
>>25589629
This sounds pretty shitty. Sorry to hear it, anon.

>>25589641
Well, yeah don't lose your job over emotions.

>>25589512
Just a follow up to this.

>Recently been really stressed about the state of our friendship
>She doesn't want to spend much time with me anymore
>Everything that used to just be something her and I did, she now does with a new friend
>When we do hang out, she constantly just checks her phone to see if the other guy's around
>She always points out how long our skype calls are now, which she never used to. We would go 10+ hours like I said before, and not even think about it. Now at 2 hours she starts pointing out how "long" the call has been. While she'll skype call the other guy for 10-12 hours every day now.
>I find myself just staring at her online status, knowing she's hanging out with other people and that if I ask she'll just say she's busy
>So instead I just sit and stare and wait for her to say something
>When she finally says something, it's usually one or two words
>I over-respond every time
>She'll ask what's up
>I'll send her ten lines about what I'm doing
>She won't respond for an hour

I've been wishing I would just die for the past few weeks. Anxiety levels are so high I'm nearly positive I've taken a few natural years off of my life already.

Feels like somebody's sitting on my chest at all times, hard to breath, always close to crying.

And even though I know how unhealthy this is, I really love her, and no matter how hard I try to I can't enjoy other peoples company like I do hers.

It's a really fucking awful feeling. All of it. I hate love at this point, because it's so one sided. Even if there was somebody that fell for me, I don't know if I could return those feelings because of how I feel about my friend.

>>25590147
isnt she a lesbian? get over it thats like expecting love from your car. you cant force someone to have a different sexual orientation.
>>25589615
this one sounds like a friendzone

>>25590160
>isnt she a lesbian?
We've done sexual shit. Still do. But she also makes absolute certain she tells me that it's not an exclusive thing and she'll do sexual stuff with anybody she feels like, whenever she feels like it.

This was her suggestion, not mine. She initiated it. I thought it was her way of like, showing feelings without them being THAT kind of feelings. But I don't know anymore.

>>25590167
so what she's bisexual? if thats the case its more like s cuck scenario. it sounds like she is intentionally being "abusive"

she probably really cares about you and is trying to set that up. if youre ok with it do it. if not then you need to move on.

You guys need some perspective, girls aint everything and your over stressed emotions are likely just a combination of too much free time and your dicks.

>>25590177
>so what she's bisexual?
As far as I can tell, no, not actually. She has no actual attraction to me physically or any other guy, it's just another game to her, in her words that is. "It's just like another game we play, I don't care."

>>25590178
>combination of too much free time and your dicks.

Free time? Sure. Dick? Not really, I don't care about sex, I'm more than content just masturbating when I feel like it.

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>meet girl
>we flirt and talk
>develop feelings fast
>she doesn't reciprocate

jokes on her i'm an alcoholic

>>25589503
I'll probably kill myself soon

>We meet first day of high school
>Have PE together and we are lab partners
>Become close friends as we are both into similar things like literature and history
>We make up a journal we would pass back and forth to each other
>Basically shit posts
>January rolls around and we decide to start up a philosophy club
>Basically just me, him and one other dude
>We end up spending every day together
>At this point in my life I was more interested in being his friend than my bf, as I had not dated before
>Time passes, we gain a couple more friends
>I start dating, he always seemed disapproving of this
>Sophomore year, we don't talk at school but talk on the phone almost every night before bed
>He starts working on bigger music projects and I'm with a new friend group
>Don't talk for 6 months
>Email a couple times during the summer
>Me and my bf break up
>Go back to sit with old friends at lunch
>I am welcomed back except he is not there
>Ask around, no one has heard anything from him all summer
>Email him the next day
>He transferred schools
>I can't take not having him around so I transfer to the same school
>Through Junior year we have minimal face to face conversations and email regularly
>He completely changes my perspective on life
>Helps me deal with my depression and past pain
>We are very close, but nothing romantic ever comes about
>Last semester of High School
>My only close family members dies
>Completely close myself off
>Don't talk to anyone, almost fail out
>I could hear him calling my name in the halls
>Last day of school
>We stand in the parking lot talking till the sun goes down
>We start emailing again
>At this point I recognize I may have feeling for him
>Decide to date someone else to get away from feelings

>>25590545
>Forced to move in with my bf because of financial and family troubles
>Months pass and we don't talk anymore
>Get an email from him saying "You have taught me so much, we wont see each other again"
>I never respond
>BF becomes physically and sexually abusive
>I come home one day to stacks of papers all over the apartment
>Hundreds of emails and journal entries between me and him
>BF is infuriated starts breaking shit and beating me
>Screams at me asking if I love him
>I say yes
>He deletes all emails and wipes my hard drive
>That night I was sitting in the bath debating whether to kill myself of not
>New text message
>Its from him saying he wants to meet
>We get coffee
>Tells me he is moving to a different country, and he felt obligated to tell me because I was his only friend
>He asks why face is bruised and I tell him my BF thinks we are fucking
>"I could never have sex with you"

He has been gone a little over a year now, we talk on the phone but don't write. Me and my ex broke up, and ever since I cant hold a relationship because of my feelings for him. I try to go on dates and having casual sex but it beats me up more. I still haven't revealed my feelings to him yet. I probably never will. Even if he told me he loved me I wouldn't know what to do. I probably wouldn't do anything.

>Had an intimate relationship online with a married person for a year
>Both knew and acknowledged up front that it was all pretend / fantasy
>Did NOT want to know this person's real name because boundaries, but idiot told me anyway
>Total feels for this person as a friend and sexually
>Person abruptly cut off communication with me and I have no idea why
>It has been a hard loss. I was vulnerable with other life stuff when this happened. I miss the person I thought this person was. I hate that I question whether anything this person said was ever true. I just want to forget and have an oblivate spell remove it all from my memory.

>>25590545
>>25590548
you sound like a loser glad this guy didnt get stuck with you

>>25589503
Best idea for a thread.

I've been in love with one of my online friends for almost a decade now. Sometimes I thought one day we might get to be together, even though we live in different countries. We've met a few times over the years, and every time I'm around him, everything just feels right and perfect. He makes me happier than anyone on earth.

But he's been in a relationship for the last few years. They recently moved in together and got a dog. He's talked to me about marrying her.

At least he's happy.

Here's mine. It's still fresh and hurts somewhat.
>be 20 when I finally move off to college.
>had a freshman friend who is 18 for the first semester, we grew up in the same parish so it was convenient.
>working at a specialty sales store, its pretty cutthroat, no car, late nights on the bus ride home.
>turn 21, hang out with some of the kids from the church group on campus
>my first real night of public drinking
>this guy, the group alpha male and manslut keeps giving me this look
>he's 21, tall and handsome
>i keep shrugging him off because he's straight (i've heard all the stories) and he's cute. I act like i'm too cool
>he invites me out with everyone several times.
>he gets wasted one night and accidentally leaves his leather jacket at the bar
>i get a ride home and take it with me (he lives on campus as well)
>have to hold onto his jacket for a couple days, sleep with it in my bed because it smells of him and i love it
>we start hanging out more and more, and i tap into his deeper personality, we become close and basically instant best friends
>we become a bit of a fabled bromance, everyone comments how we're constantly together, he often takes me to work and picks me up from work
>we had a few episodes where i had mental breakdowns (i'm bipolar) and it strained our relationship, as well as he often dated girls that were crazy and no good
>we move into together
>it becomes a cyclical relationship
>i cook, i clean, i even do his laundry, help him cope thru his stress, meet all his family
>he means a lot to me
>i've seen him naked, and we've been arguably too close
>still constantly on the hunt for pussy
>we argue every couple weeks or so, usually destructive
>i've been working 2 jobs, school and club offices. I drop out.
>after about 8 or 9 months living together (and about a year and half being best friends) we have a huge fight over now meaningless shit and i move out and move back in with my parents. He drops me off facebook
>cont..

>>25592776
Cont'd
>he wrote me a brief letter taking blame for the fights, thanking me for the influence i had on his life, and said his final goodbyes.
>i wrote him back forgiving him, thanking him in return, and offering him friendship again whenever he wanted to.
>haven't heard a response in a month. Assume he has cut ties completely this time.
>by now, he's graduated and we both live in completely different cities.
>he had his faults but i love him still. I have so many memories of him and tons of pictures together.
>he taught me to open up, to appreciate things without feeling ashamed, how to dance, how to love theater and musicals, how to be confident in public. How to love craft beers. How to just be gallant and cocky.
>we used to joke about being a married couple and that someday i'd be the godfather to his kids.
It wasn't an actual romantic relationship but it felt like one. And he'll never know how I truly felt, I guess. Fuck it. Kms.

>21 years old, long term relationship over, trying to find someone new
>make okcupid profile, first girl i see on there is perfect haven't even uploaded photos or filled my shit out and i message her
>6 months later, see her again, send another message, best first date of my life
>never thought i would find someone like her 9/10 physically, 11/10 mind, didn't think a hot programmer artist girl was even possible
>we get motorcyles together
>we date for ~3 months
>she dumps me, vague reasons
>infinite sadness
>date other girls, try so hard not to compare them to her
>every once in a while she'll flicker across my mind and i wonder if it could be different
>years go by, never find anyone who makes me feel the same
>occasionally we text back and forth, maybe once a year or two
>27 now, just ended 3 year relationship
>reactivate my okcupid
>first page of matches there she is

I need her in my life. She brings out the absolute best in me. I'm so afraid I'm nothing to her.