Roast thread since the last one ended? I love roast threads.

>>25573607
just imagine if Hermione Granger got into Slytherin and then you've got OP

I wanna take you home and listen to you give me angry lectures for laughing at "offensive" jokes on TV shows

you look like you own 4 cats and hate them all

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>>25573607
You look like you're constantly irritated by those around you and don't care enough to hide it.

Roast me

>>25573607
E? If so, miss you. If not ignore me :/

>>25573607
You look like a combination of:

A. A girl I went to school with who was an adamant cosplayer. She would dress in extremely revealing clothing and complain about how she was treated like a slut. She also had the ugliest, most beta boyfriend out of any girl i've ever known. She would hit on me but then get all offended and smarmy when I hit on her back. Every girl in the school who knew her hated the fuck outta her.

B. A librarian who has aspergers and any interaction with human causes her to go into a cataclysmic panic. Has many cats at home and plays Second Life to make up for the lack of social interaction because she is too chicken shit to talk to people IRL. Despite all this she has a high sex drive and fetishizes getting fucked by her father or raped.

>>25573653

You look like you were too pussy looking to fit in with metalheads back in highschool, which has caused you to retain the same appearance and continue to seek acceptance from rockers and metalheads.

Secretly your hair makes up for you being entirely incapable of growing facial hair. You recognize that your only redeeming quality is your hair, which is developing split ends at an alarming rate.

And then there comes that day, when you are brushing your hair, you notice larger clumps of hair forming in your hair brush, and then it hits you... "Oh shit, i'm balding."

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>>25573653
Looks like a rocker has been.

Roast me?

>>25573725

You look like you purposefully arrange your appearance to make it look as though you have, or are capable of having, children.

But the truth is not only is nobody interested in you, you are also incapable of bearing children and because of this you are the lady at grocery stores who attempts to discipline other peoples children in a futile attempt at experiencing motherhood. Your desperation is a pungent perfume which males can sense instantaneously.

Because of this, you have lost faith in your capability of losing weight. You no longer care anymore and drown your sorrows with drinking wine and complaining to strangers on anonymous chatrooms. You entertained the idea of suicide, but you are to cowardly and inept to end it thus you are trapped in a self-loathing body the likes of which you cannot escape.

>>25573607
I would marry you.
There, roasted.

>>25573607
your glasses and face scream that you're an SJW piece of left wing trash.
you're a leech on society and deserve to be deported to a communist hellhole.
if left wing policies are the type of shit you vote for,
you deserve to spend the rest of your miserable life in north korea or mainland china
I hope you get to suffer first hand, the types of policies you support.

>>25573607
are you a trap? you got male pattern baldness ugly bitch

>>25573653
the fuck am i looking at? not fat but out of shape, gay ass ear piercing, and long greasy hair. pasty looking fag i'd kick your ass at the Korn concert

>>25573725
fat dyke

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>>25573607
I would assume you're going to yell at me for something.

>>25574086
You look like the type of cunt who thinks she is Gods gift to humanity. However her own delusional sense of grandeur prevents her from achieving anything worthwhile. You look like you go to the gym solely to do squats because your tits and your ass are the only redeeming quality that you latch onto to have any semblance of purpose or meaning.

You convince yourself that you are everything a guy could ask for, but the only reason males give you any attention is because of your appearance.

Deep down inside you are an empty shell of a human being devoid of substance. While all the women in your life have found husbands and are contributing to humanity, you continue to be a fellatious cumslut thinking, no, praying that one day the guy you bang will marry you and spoil you with gifts and material objects. Let's face it, life on turbo easy mode gets you far and gives you special privileges, sure, but that one day you find the perfect guy and fall for him; he will scoff at you and dismiss you entirely. After banging hundreds of dudes the pain and misery still plague your existence until you succumb to the ugliness that is your personality, take a look in the mirror, and realize that maybe, just maybe, having a father figure in your life may have done you some good.

But it's too late.

>>25574086
I remember you from the last roast thread! Everyone said you looked like a hippy stoner who didn't shower. Not really a roast, but you look like a thin version of a stoner friend I had once, and in my experience people like that are the best for chilling and watching shitty movies with.

>>25573607
you got thin lips
>and a penis

>>25573607
Bump

>>25573607
You look like you fill the void in your life with cats. There will come a day when Mittens VII will pass away and you'll not have the strength to let another cat into your life, you'll realise that after all this time you never let a person in and by now you really don't know how. You'll die alone never knowing love reciprocated by anyone or anything that you don't have to feed.

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>>25573653
You seem like you touch minors, but only a little, not enough to be molestation, right?

>>25573725
Even if that picture was in focus I bet you'd be still blurred


Go on, hit me.

>>25575852

You look like you would wipe your hardrives because of a ring from your doorbell. You look like someone who relates more to children than you do adults. You're a child trapped in an adults body.

You are the sort of melvin who goes to comic conventions and LARP's out in public for all to see. Suffice to say you are oblivious to how much of a barney you are. You look like the sort of goof who ACTUALLY believes they have a waifu and if it were somehow possible to make cartoons come to life: you would be quick to make a dungeon and exploits cartoons sexually on cam taking requests for money.

You also look like the sort of dude who, in the off chance you bring home a girl to your crusty semen filled living space, you would be quick to get her into some sort of costume. Probably some wack-ass anime and gay fucking furry shit.

You look like a coworker I used to work with who recollected in vivid detail his first experience touching a boob, which was at a sex & adult convention. He eventually quit to pursue being a streamer, which of course failed and because of this became a running joke at work until I eventually quit.

>>25573653
You look like you're about to star in a redneck version of Californication. I've seen ostriches more attractive than you.

>>25573607
In 10 years you're gonna be arguing with your deadbeat never-gonna-propose jobless partner that he never helps out getting the two kids ready for preschool.

>>25573725
That hand brushing off your tit is the closest you'll ever get to some action from the opposite sex.

>>25574086
I bet you throw litter from your car on the highway and think it's no big deal. You'll slut your way through your 30s and end up a lonely woman still going on drunken benders in your 50s while your friends make something of their life.

>>25575852
When you cum into a pile of tissues on your bed, and you stare at that picture of an anime girl on your screen, do you feel the shame that your parents probably feel?

[spoiler]I'm sorry don't take these personally you fucking asked okay[/spoiler]

>>25576201
You look so mediocre I can't actually associate you with any amusing references or compare you to anything.
Look like you're somehow responsible for your mother's death and were raised by a psycho grandma. Is that her basement you're locked in rn? Your eyes look so sad I'm surprised you're still alive to pathetically beg for attention in the form of a roast on a degenerate website. Did your mommy not give you enough attention? Oh, wait I already deduced you somehow killed her. You're a psycho murderer and you should fuck off this website because no one, I repeat, NO ONE, wants anything to do with those sad, insecure, drooping eyes. If it rains, do rivers form in the crevices on your hollow skeleton excuse for a face? You look so boring I'm bored of roasting you, you fucking ugly cunt.

>>25576201

From the deepest recesses of the undesirables comes this anomaly. A male so foul and ugly that it defies adequate explaination. The gene pool done fucked up with your lineage and you are a casualty of genetic deficiencies.

You look like you would walk up behind a females reading a book, grab a lock of hair gently and sniffing her hair. Only by a miracle do you evade law enforcement and retreat back to the confines in which you came. You begin masterbation at the sheer invigoration and elation you just felt. This wasn't the first time and certainly isn't the last.

>>25575915
Oohwee, been saving that up for a while huh? Feel better?

>>25576053
Does it count if I feel shame before I cum?

>>25576285

Aw, did I strike a nerve?

Your face told the story, I am a mere interpreter.

>>25576282
Yo I enjoyed roasting that fucking losercuck just as much as you did :)

>>25576297
He gets off on this shit. He just wants more, humiliation is his kink. Probably wants to be dominated by a 3D monster cock or his Father, whichever is more perversely rooted in his despicable and shameful subconscious.

>>25576282
Plain and generic, this could be copied and pasted to any other picture here, no specifics.

>>25576274
>If it rains, do rivers form in the crevices on your hollow skeleton excuse for a face?
Holy fuck you got me good.

>>25576323
>Plain and generic

Kind of like you.

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>>25576201
I grew a beard, you uncreative fucks can't even touch me.

>>25576334

>Spank me harder
>hnnnnnggggggg
>GO ON GIVE IT TO ME I CAN TAKE IT

>>25576297
Nah, its good stuff, a little unfocused though, can do better. The work on the next guy was definitely cleaner

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>>25574086
Fake and Starbucks obsessed
>>25575852
Think you deserve girl way out your league and if they don't like you they're just "stacies"
>>25576201
Can't handle confrontation

>>25576355
>calls someone else fake and starbucks obsessed
>posts a picture of herself doing a lowkey duckface with her tits hanging out

(you seem like a nice person though, just seems like the pot calling the kettle black)

>>25576355
>>25576355
Haha that Stacie shit is probably too true

>>25576418
White girls are Starbucks obsessed though...

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>>25576355
slutty and doesn't hide it
>>25576709
masturbates to group sex, doesn't go out

>>25576756
Slut, baltic
Pretty shallow desu

>>25576766
is that an assumption about the baltic part?

>>25577031
posts cute cat so people pay less attention to her ugly face

>>25576756
my god you could be so cute but that dumb as fuck tattoo on your chest leads me to believe you're a shallow, insecure slut