Thread is for biological adult anons to check in and hang out.

Topic for discussion: how do you deal with jealousy? How has that changed over the years, if at all?

I used to let jealousy ruin my relationships but something happened in my late 20s where I grew out of it. Felt really secure in my relationship, had focus as far as work and hobbies. Still do. It wasn't any one event, but one day I realized that I had grown up. I thought I'd be proud of that, and I am... but I remember during that epiphany that my inner child crying something about how "shit got real."

26/m/scotland here

hows everyone doing

>>25492675

25/M/California

It wasn't a until my last relationship that I started to feel any jealousy over someone. Most of the time I'm pretty chill with all my other relationships and I never felt any sense of Jealousy or worry until I started to feel insecure about my last one since I felt she was way more apathetic about me hanging with other girls and her with other guys.
I think what really struck my insecurities was how fine she was talking about living with other guys because their big gamers/artists.
I'm over it now since we're not seeing each other anymore but it's fucking weird feeling that way since I myself have always been trusting of others
I'm sure because of shit like that I feel like i'm not exactly ready for a relationship and just want to take it easy for now.

>>25492592
How do I help my husband cope with adult life better? He gets really overwhelmed by all the responsibilities we have now. He kind if shuts down, becomes depressed and pissed off. I really want to be supportive and help him find a better way to deal with the stress of adulthood. I love him more then anything else in the world and he's a good man, I want him to feel confident being the great husband and father I know he can be. He just gets so down on himself and it makes me so sad to see him struggling.

>>25492679
I'm good thanks, just lucky to have the week off work.
26/female/Canada here.

>>25492744
Damn a week that's awesome! Do you have kik?

>>25492732
Yeah, stupid name. Made it up while on the crapper. Labels and age cutoffs are irrelevant, anyway. I don't want a thread where we complain or rejoice in being "old". I just wanna connect more with people more in my age range.
>in the states, you can't rent a car until you're 25
>brain stops developing around 25. Everyone's different, but that was the rationale.

>>25492719
I'm not qualified to provide advice in your situation, but I'd remind him that your his partner in this family life adventure and that he's not to do this thing alone. Maybe point out struggles or tough times you both or he alone has successfully weathered. Remind him that being brace and strong isn't about wielding the sword all the time, but sometimes it's about fighting, taking damage, and then finding a way to pick up the sword again. Bad analogy, but I'm on cell and gotta go. Good luck, anon.

>>25492780
I can't autocorrect worth shit. Please excuse all "you're" and "brave" uncorrected stuff.

>>25492755
Yeah it's nice to have vacation time.
and no sorry, I feel like I'm waay too old for kik let alone discord lol

>>25492785
No your fine :) thanks for the advice, I'll try telling him that. It sounds like something that would help and maybe make him realize who much he's already acomplished. Help him see how proud I am of him and how much fairy I have in him and in us.

>>25492675
I`m not very jealous, but I have a zero tolerance to infidelity.

oh hey! 40 waifu checking in. Where's the 56 yo guy with a sense of humor and honeys less than half his age?

>>25492675
I still get envious/competitive when it comes to skills and talent, but I brush it off. It doesn't prevent me from doing my own thing. I don't get jealous of other girls' looks or friends' wealth.

>>25492744
Hey, congrats! Enjoy your time off from work!

>>25492888
You sound sweet, anon. I hope you guys keep communicating. You can do your part, but remember he has to do his, as well- as far as dealing with stress differently. I like your trips, btw.

>>25492925
Depending on the people and relationship, sometimes any kind of betrayal of trust is worth further examination. Aaaaand now I sound ancient and am gonna shut up and look for memes. :D

>>25492719
You could also remind him that he doesn't have to be perfect, just good enough - and that his good enough is all you need.

Men can set goals for themselves that are unrealistically high and then feel like they've failed when they don't achieve them. Encouraging someone in this situation can't work, since the problem is further upstream, at the setting-of-expectations process. Encouraging someone to attempt to achieve an unrealistic goal just ends up making their eventual failure even more crushing. A person in this place needs help setting more realistic, i.e. actually achievable, goals.

Frequently reminding your husband that he doesn't have to be perfect, that it's OK to fail sometimes (and that he *will* fail, he's human), and comparing how he's doing to how well he needs to do (essentially being the voice of affirmation that shows him that even though he's not perfect he's still being a good enough husband and father and you all love him) might help.

I don't know whether this is at all applicable to you, just trying to think of ways to look at your situation that may be helpful. Good luck and I'm glad he has a loving partner like you.

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>>25493200
>Where's the 56 yo guy with a sense of humor and honeys less than half his age?
Peek-a-boo.... I hope you've finally finished mopping up from last night? ;)

"Honey, it's 5 am! Why are you shampooing the carpets......AGAIN?"

40 white male here, looking for women to talk to

discord: Anonymous#9517

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>>25493305
I kept it quick and efficient, so only had to run the wet/dry vac for a bit this morning. ;)

Have to do some work tonight to make up for it, though. Oh well, memes shall have to wait. Hope you had a good start to the week and thanks for getting me going yesterday. :) Although... Game of Thrones S07EP02 was pretty hot too, so that helped. Too bad the Unsullied didn't spend more time on Missandei breast play, though.

>>25493273
Yah not quite applicable to our situation, he actually has been giving up in things way to easily lately. He's goals are deffanitly very doable, he just gets stressed or overwhelmed at times and stops trying. Like he's in collage right now and will skip/ fail out of classes simply because it's a class he dosen't like. Like algebra, he hates it but it's not like it's impossible. He dose feel really badly afterward when he dose something like that tho, he'll fail at something that he could have very easily prevented failing at then get really down about it after the fact. He winds up feeling depressed and overwhelmed and just kind of checks out by sitting on the computer all the time and not dealing with anything. I just want to be supportive and help him stay motivated. I love him no matter what and no of corse he dosen't need to be perfect or achieve unrealistic goals, but I do need him to help more and not just shut down when ever things get difficult.

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>>25493379
What you're describing is another aspect of the relationship to perfection, especially wrt perfection in the eyes of the mother.

This version creates the facing of failure (i.e., imperfection, disappointing those whose love he needs) by choosing achievable goals but then managing to not do the things necessary to achieve them. While the previous version is the inflated path (choose goals too great, fail at being a superhero), this is same dance of moth with flame but along the deflated path (choose achievable goals, fail anyway).

In this case what's needed is more positive father energy: someone who kicks his ass and doesn't let him bail out and fuck up. Think of a drill sergeant in boot camp. A man like that would *not* put up with your hubby's impotent shit. And enough energy from that drill sergeant and hubby himself would start to internalize that voice, and not give himself the option of bailing out just because he has a feeling.

While being sensitive is something women like about a man, the balancing - and more fundamental - part of being a man is being able to have a feeling *and do what he needs to do anyway*.

What kind of strong, positive male figures can you enlist to help you?

"The trick is not minding that it hurts." - T.E. Lawrence

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>>25493364
Sounds like you've already had a good start to your week! I hope work (wifey-work or work-work?) isn't too onerous. Glad I could be part of you having some fun.... ;)

(p.s. Did hubs give that to you along with the dildo? Or was that his defensive gift to himself? Maybe it's an old Soviet-era Fleshlight?)

fuck, i guess being 25 means im now young anymore
time to cut my hair all short, curl it and dye it white to prepare for being an old granny

25/F/UK

How's everyone? I'm trying to get sleep but it's not happening.

>>25492679
Scot anon be my bf

>>25493533
That's one way to look at it. A stupid way to look at it, but a way.

>>25493332
your imaginative handle is self-sabotage.
>asl- the tried and true way to signal that you're worth talking to. lololololol

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any old dudes want to post their kiks for the girls with daddy issues?:3

>>25493379
also if he plays video games at all, tell him to cut that shit out cold turkey because it's the root of so many problems nowadays

25/m/uk

Drained af from work come at me.

>>25493570
still not sleeping?

>>25493693
Omg you hit the nail on the head with that one
>>25493470
Haha he actually used to be in the military and a very motivated person, just the past year or so that he's been kind of giving up on things and not trying very hard. In our relationship I'm the one who sets how they feel aside to make sure shit gets done. Like no matter how tired or stressed out I feel I always still do whatever is important. I work to support us and our kids and always take care of them no matter what. If the baby wakes up at night and needs changed I'm always the one who gets up. If the lawn needs cut (we live in a place where you have to cut it every week or you get fined) I'm the one who cuts it, no matter how hot it is or how tired from work I am. It be ok if I handled some of that stuff all the time, but I can't handle all the stuff all the time. I need help and honestly it's kind off worrying that he has so uninvolved now. That's never the kind of person he's been before. I think maybe just having so much responsibility at once has kind of swamped him. It seems like he's not really happy anymore and is having a hard time cooping with everything we have going on.

>>25493749
honestly what you described of him sound like this behavior is either related to self-sabotage out of a tendency for extreme perfectionism/fear of failure (same thing desu) or an inability for him to break down processes into steps and getting overwhelmed due to the seeming enormity of the task.

Does he have a tendency to become really anxious about the future? I'm talking like he seems to undergo a paralysis whenever the prospect of making a decision about his path in life comes up.

>>25493570
sup wrecked sleep schedule anon. 30/m/usa and going on less than 12 hours of sleep for the past 3 days.

>>25493200
Thanks.
I'm trying.
not really doing much fun with it though, just appointments. Oh and I'm getting a CPAP machine.

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>>25493749
Then why are you not either 1) kicking his ass to do his share of the housework, or 2) hauling his ass to couples counseling so you two can make some agreements about how your married life is going to be? Why are you allowing this to continue?

While being understanding is admirable, at some point understanding and compassion crosses over into co-dependence.

Is this your first baby? I wonder if he's finally having to accept the reality of being a father. For a young man who used to at least imagine being able to play the field, accepting those days are gone is a grieving process, the death of a way of being. That's gonna require a real grieving process, and playing vidya is a poor and slow substitute.

And for you, where else in your life have you had the experience of being Cinderella, of busting your butt and not getting enough (or any) help? This isn't all about him. *Both* of you are out of balance. To be a mature, responsible partner you need to consider what you've done to create this reality.

>>25493665
pffhaha. sure, I could use the conversation regardless.
Thememesofproduction
30/m/usa

>>25493833
Playing video games can help ease stress actually.

>>25493848
>>25493833

well, to be precise its a coping method. And if you're a new father, fucking off from taking care of the baby because you're too stressed to deal with it is the best way to breed the sort of resentment that ends in divorce (outside of actual infidelity, of course)

>>25493854
I work with kids and I can safely say most people shouldn't have children.

>>25493858
yeppp. what kind of work with kids? I know enough that I'd be a terrible dad and a HIDEOUS chromosome contributor (depression, neurological disorder)

>>25493870
I do daycare which is all day care for 18 months to 5 years and after school care/summer programs which goes from 6 to 13 or so.

Kids are fine. You just need a lot of patience and a bit of creativity.

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34/m/AR

In the past three years after being grumpy about turning 30 I've taken a positive tack and realized that your thirties are when you finally know what you're doing in life.

My thirties are awesome and only better things are to come.

>>25493833
No we have 3 kids he's been a dad for 9 years. And idk I don't like to be nagging bitch that forces my husband to do things. I'm his wife not his mom, I'm not going to wine at him all the time to get him to do shit, I'd rather just do it myself. He's an adult and if he choses to help then good if not then that's on him, I can't make him do shit. I think he's just stressed out from school ending and us having to move soon and having a new baby and two other kids to take care of. That shit would stress anyone out, he's not handling it the best but I'm not going to go fighting with him about it. We've never fought in our marriage and I've never needed to boss him around to do things before. I don't want things to be like that. I think he's just depressed and worried about the future with having to find a job and support his family. It's a lot to shoulder and I don't think he's realized he's put all of that weight on me by shutting down so much. The only thing I could do it step up and handle it, both of us getting depressed isn't an option with kids counting on you. I think he should get counseling to help process stress better. I don't think he realizes how uninvolved he's become, it's not like it happened all at once things have just kind of built up and gotten progressively worse, and now I can see that we really need some help to get back on track. He just needs to refind his motivation

>>25493570
Same hard time because of head cold.
Just took some NyQuil so we will see how that works.

>>25493379
>>25493470
Feels
Many a project never started because I tried to think ahead and did not project gain or saw only failure. Been learning to just go for it and grow along the way. Was more depressing the other way around desu, but too a while to put finger on it.

>>25494224
Yeah councillor or can you get a buddy of his to help him open up? Getting someone not attached to the situation makes it easier, takes it out of the family arena.

>>25494302
He dosen't really have any friends besides his family. A few old ones from high school he still games with and gets on discord with but I don't think they would talk to him about something like that. Were both not really that social, never have been.

26 and finally accepting I will die alone

>>25494332
are you me?

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>>25493665
Lol old dudes Powerful Neg

Fine I'll bite
31 M USA
MidnightNowhere

>>25494332
32 and it gets worse my dude, I realized today at the end of the month I've officially been single for 11 years.

The only time I've been touched by a woman in those 11 years was some weird drugged up psycho girl kept trying to hug me and hold hands in line at Best buy.

>>25493791
Do you have sleep apnea? That sucks.

>>25494325
Yeah I'm in the same boat friendship wise. Everyone I was closer to is either too many hours away or just completely different now in terms of where they in life. Lacking a close male peer group can make whatever negative situation worse because there is no pressure relief valve, support, advice network to keep one on track within a positive masculine framework.

Also, there is only so much the work interactions can do unless work friends become irl actual friends. I know I compartmentalize alot.

Are you both part of a Church? Men's groups are a good starting block.

28/m checking. Been on 4chan since I was 18. It's embarrassing.

>>25493522
lol! Your pic related are the best!
Work-work... my brain is cramping now. May crash at some truly senior bedtime. The dildo was def a gift from hubs for himself. ;)

>>25493789
Sleep deprivation. I know now why it's used as a torture method. Good luck to all the anons trying to get some sleep.

>>25494375
I'm glad I didn't have 4chan back then. It was hard enough breaking the IRC habit.

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25/f Just posting cause why not...
Been here since I was 17.

I met someone on here. back in 2016...
Fast forward to now and we live together.
one of the strangest relationships I've been in.

It's all sorts of fun when I make it out to a show though. Thankfully he's got similar taste in music as myself.

>>25493200
Oldfag is giving interviews

>>25493665
45/m and been here for about 4 years.
kik is jfwcali

>>25495862
What brought you here? Always curious how the older peeps or non-gamers stumbled in...

>>25492744
Same, have a week off as well and I'm also I Canada. Are you my female doppelganger?

Bermp

Wake up

>>25494952
American hardcore?
Is the living arrangement strictly platonic or do you share more than just music?

>>25496687
apparently so lol.

>>25499127
CPAP can make an incredible difference. Hope it works out for you. Rested and full of energy you lacked previously.

28/M checking in

Started going grey recently, the idea of ageing and eventually being old and dying terrifies me. I've missed out on a lot in life that I'll never get to experience, this site has taken the best years of my life. I'm probably going to die alone, not from lack of trying but eventually they always leave before anything serious happens. I just want to meet a woman my age who I can relate with so I don't have to feel this crippling emptiness anymore.

>>25499141
You're fucked.
Actually, no, you won't be.

>>25499141
I started greying early but it just makes me look better. Fuck it, embrace it.

No time like the present to make something happen I guess.

What usually ends up driving you apart from people?

>31/f/'Merica here

How are we doing today, if you could only listen to one album for the next year what would it be?

>>25499277
Something from LCD Soundsystem

>>25499277
>>25499282
So what about you?
Your album of choice?

>>25499277
Electronomicon by the The Electric Hellfire Club
Or
BodyPop by And One

>>25499277
Discovery by Daft Punk

>>25499316
Damnation/Deliverance by Opeth

>>25499277
>Correspondence (a fiction) - Levi the Poet

>>25499277
50 M.
I'd find something new to me. Jazz or classical style. Maybe prog rock. Complex as hell so I don't get bored. Lyrics are useless anymore - No one has anything original to say.

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>>25499694
>No one has anything original to say
If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that…

>>25499694
Maybe you just need more psychedelic satantic death metal

https://youtu.be/OEcsFX_60ew

>>25499277
A Change of Seasons by DT

Looks like all the olds are dead. RIPIP

>>25505693
Let's meme

>>25493665
35yo/m
kik: silentb0

>25
but 18 is officially young adult already and 21 is full grown adult

>>25506487
It's all arbitrary labels anyway

hi

>>25506509
I self-identify as a glrmf#kn1.

31/m/Indianapolis. I've always been the responsible one. That means less the older you get.
quartzmsa for kik.

>>25492675
Jealousy is something many people do grow out of, and is usually a young person feeling.

Usually.

>>25501094
Lyrics really do stop mattering once you hit a certain age. How often can a song talk to you about love and obsession, and it still feel fresh? When you do something once, its fresh and new. Novelty is not a feeling you can refine.

>>25494361
>>25494325
It sounds like some counseling is good for him, maybe some medication if it can give him a leg up, and encouraging him to be more social is vital. The older you get, the more a support network matters. I recently had a 6 year relationship end suddenly, and friends picked sides before I even talked to them.

>>25506509
so is age of consent, you know

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>>25507628

mortician's bump

Bampu

>>25507581
>how often can a song about love and obsession sound fresh
I have been pleasantly surprised that feels in film and music continue to catch me over the years. I feel like my cup is full, but always has capacity for more, if that makes sense.

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>>25510853
Hi waifu, I hope you had a good week. What kinds of feels, from what films and music?

>>25510990
Heya!
Hope you had a good week, too. I was just thinking about some recent discoveries- Cigarettes & Sex music ... pedestrian lyrics, but their music is a bit nostalgic for me.
I also like documentaries, too. Finished binge-watching "The Keepers" on netflix and for all the grief I had for survivors of that story, the series really brought me into those people's lives and gave me perspective through their strength. Not everything tugs at the heartstrings so much, but I'm glad when they do!
I guess that's what comes to mind as far as recent discoveries. I'm not much of a crier when it comes to movies, but when music creates a pang / longing for the past or film makes me cry, I see it as a gift and good art.

>>25511349
Cigarettes After Sex (is that who you meant? or is there a Cigarettes & Sex too?) reminds me of a cross between 80's pop and torch songs. Nostalgic why? At least your nostalgia wasn't for "The Keepers." What a sad story. Easier to be a recovering 80's girl than a recovering Catholic girl....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fdcDN4LbYQ

>>25512131
Yes, you got the name right; I did not. :) I suppose it's partly the music and partly the lyrics that conjured memories of making out with ex's. Sex life has gotten better over the years, but I miss having hours of time to make out!
Yeah, "the keepers"- so sad, and yet the survivors- real inspiration. Kind of reminds me in my average "normie" trials and tribulations, that I too can summon beast level courage.
Frank Zappa- never listened to him! Eclectic, interesting.

Is anyone here in a long term relationship? I do have a question: You or your partner is horny but the other isn't do you just masturbate while the other one is around... doing regular stuff like chores? Or do you masturbate secretly?

>>25513243
Married for over a decade and still having sex at least once or twice a week. My husband doesn't like masturbating in front of me, but I encourage him to edge and to get off if our schedules or libidos are off. He tends to like jacking off in the shower or in bed next to me if he can't sleep.
On the other hand, I like putting on a show for him- which works out since he loves watching me get off. So sometimes I'll get myself going in bed next to him, and that leads to sex, and other times, he'll take pictures or video of me and uses that as wank material later on. Joint masturbation sessions are pretty hot and fun. Different from sex, but a nice part of the sexytime portfolio.

27 Male UK.

Coping with adulthood pretty well, if I do say so myself.

Buying a car for the first time is quite a daunting prospect. (Always lived in cities or places with good transport links).

>>25513572
Congrats! What kind of auto?

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>>25513598

Mazda 2, methinks.

Taking about a 3rd out of my deposit savings, but needs must. I'll be a commuter in about 3 weeks.

Hey there,

29/m/UK (south east)

Just checking in

Kik Grabonholdon

>>25513600
Those are zippy cars- enjoy! Job must be worth it for the commute, so congrats on that, too!

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>>25513632

Cheers, lad.

It'll open a lot of doors, although anybody I know from this particular company are people who've left said company.

Doesn't matter to me, I've worked jobs I hated for close to a decade, so for a higher salary and ongoing training on anything I want, practically, I'll take it.

Plus, I have reason to suspect my pay will go up pretty sharpish, too.

The idea of buying property has suddenly become a lot more feasible.

30/M/Canada what up my glip glops

>>25492675
It took two tragedies to cure me of jealousy. First I was in a relationship where jealousy *wrecked* me. I was going through her shit and invading her privacy on the reg. I was truly a disgusting person and I didn't realize it. I was never happy and finally I had a moment of clarity where I realized this and walked away. I decided I never wanted to feel like that again.

My second relationship, I was carefree but my partner was jealous and possessive. Slowly her jealousy stripped everything from me, my friends, my hobbies and passions, everything. At the end of it, once the haze of love was gone and I had realized what she had left me with, I realized how harmful jealousy was to a partner, and I realized that was that person in the past.

My third relationship, I felt the notable feelings of jealousy and all the horrible urges that came with it, but I could identify them. It was a monster I knew. It took the knowledge of what comes later for me to step outside of myself and my feelings and control them. I also came to understand that jealousy stems from deeper issues like obsession or possessiveness, and you have to solve those issues by either using logic or giving up and moving on. It's hard, but it's for the best.

>>25513698
Boss stories, man.

>>25492592
Whatever happened to DQ anyways?

>>25513698
damn...

29 m CT, USA here
been on 4chan regularly since late '06
currently in an open relationship with my gf; she is much better at it than me. I'm a typical channer: shit job, no car/license or ambitions
Kik is dustv1n if you wanna chat about whatever

>>25515302
Still turning a profit with their signature Blizzards, I suppose.

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>>25515302
>>25516756
I always felt DQ missed a big opportunity not sponsoring Ozzy's first solo tour.

36/m/Perth, Australia.

I have made some very spurious choices over the past 72 hours and am watching my life crumble to pieces as a result. Hopefully it's for the best, but damn I feel nauseous and guilty af.

>>25517504
Mid-30's is about when that happens. Hang in there.

>>25517504
Details?

>>25518690
Oh boy., where to start? I've been in a committed relationship for 13 years with a lovely lady, we have an 11 year old daughter who I love to bits. In the last week or so I've (after much deliberation) decided to end it as I'm not happy. Not happy with the lack of passion, not happy with us, just unhappy. She has not taken it well.

37 uk here, I have always looked younger but lately seem to be getting noticed by younger women when I go out on the town.
In a long term relationship but the attention is nice.
So don't be scared of getting older kids.

>>25519878
Ouch. How's your daughter handling it?

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>>25517504
>>25519878
What kind of counseling did you go through before you made this decision?

We re-create in life our previous emotional experiences. Those color how we perceive and experience the present. This cycle continues until we finally feel and accept whatever it was, bad or good, that was too big for us to feel the first time it happened.

Unless you've either been through years of personal depth work or had counseling together (you may have, you haven't said), you're almost certain to be experiencing your present situation through the lens of your own past. That means you're not seeing the entire truth of your relationship, including your own role in creating your experience. Not only that, once you end this relationship because of your own emotional history and limitations, because the true, internal problem isn't resolved you'll just re-create the same thing for some other victims.

Relationships have lives just like people. They come into existence to create something, and when the participants have experienced what they need they end. Whether this is that time for all of you I couldn't say. What I am saying is that without some external assistance to do some difficult internal work even *you* can't objectively say. I'm sure you believe you're being sincere & objective, and what I'm trying to warn you is that mistaken belief is part of the creation of our blind spots. Your present experience is a mirror for something deep inside *you*, and if you simply turn 360 degrees and walk away then you're hurting the people you love most because of your own refusal to look at yourself.

When one is single this behavior has fewer consequences. In a committed ltr (esp. w/ kids) an adult has a responsibility to seek skilled external help before making permanent, life-changing decisions.

This isn't a critique, it's the warning and I hope helpful advice to look for where the real problem - and hope for the future - in your life really lies.

Good luck.

27 m from ITALY here.

I'm not a 4chan habitué, only come here when bored.

I was wondering... especially guise in the same situation, how do you cope with the neverending frustration from being a social isolate and being basically rejected over and over? I had no luck with peers since I was kid. Alone throughout teens and high school dropout, which didn't help at all. Family was no positive experience either. I'm approaching "wizardry" as they say here being a "kissless virgin", I never managed to even get friend zoned by women, just plain avoidance. Had few friends until some years ago but they revealed later as deceitful. I have literally no one left.

Problem is I'm growing angry at it. I know it's an infantile reaction yet can't help with it, some days I find myself going out just looking for an argument to beat someone up.

I feel like I can lose my own mental sanity over this.

>>25520561
Well said. Relationships have lives, just like people. I'll remember that... (not those anons, just a lurker)

20 here
age means nothing when you are an outcast

>>25520600
you have either social anxiety or something else. that or you are naturally unsufferable
antidepressants cured my anxiety and changed my life in like a month, you should look into it

if you are aware of it and you still struggle then try to look for other ways to be happy
because the main issue is not that you dont have a gf or friends, its that you think a gf or friends will make you happy

>>25517504
>>25519878
lmao
What a goofball twat. "I'm not happy wah." Should talk to your wife more cause guess what my man, you just fucked up the life of that 11 year old you supposedly love to bits.

Hope she doesn't blame herself or at worst suicide on you. But don't worry about it, as long as you're happy am I right.

Most people make sacrifices for their children you're just selfish.

>>25493665
Haha why not, camerasonata

>>25522001

>because the main issue is not that you dont have a gf or friends, its that you think a gf or friends will make you happy

But I don't, really. I don't want anyone around. My ideal gf is no gf. I strive to be happy alone and I just care of my own interests nowadays yet I'm not able to overcame my social nature. I'm human after all and humans are said to be social animals, and I'm aware of it.

I have major depression that is unresponsive to antidepressants. I only get sides from drugs.

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22/f/PA,USA/140lbs/about 5- 7 ft

I want an older guy, not a daddy. I want an older, mature man.

>>25523918

What makes you think you are suitable to have a relationship with a mature man?

>>25523968
My personality, I believe I'm responsible enough for one. I'm straight forward with my feelings, I'm practical, not an extreme feminist....

>>25523976

Yeah but why it has to be older? Older in age doesn't necessarily means mature either. I'll tell you a secret. Men seeking younger women are often the leftover from their peers, so beware what you wish for. What do you believe older men looking for younger women want them for? Responsibility? Are you serious?

I was asking because most women asking for the same apply the logic "I feel like needing it, so I deserve it". Then got either divorced or very unhappy with their partner. Don't be that woman please. Don't wish to be the princess in the castle, be the queen ruling over the reign.

>>25523918
>>25523976
Good for you that you know what you want. I hope you find an equally mature partner soon.

28/m/NY

5'11", 135 pounds, caucasian...

Any ladies in the NYC/Long Island area?

>>25524053
I suppose you're right... Perhaps I'm reading too many fairytails....
>>25524187
Thanks

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>>25524270
Don't devalue yourself too easily. There's a balance to be struck between humility and self-respect.

The world will tend to follow our own beliefs about ourselves. After all, who should know us better than we do? So have low standards (for whatever reason) and for the most part the world will look upon us as deserving of them. Have higher standards and the world will believe we deserve to be met with those.

The characteristic that keeps these two in balance is the ability to self-reflect, to judge ourselves honestly rather than with overly harsh criticism or overly inflated admiration. But if one must err, then I'd counsel erring on the side of belief, love, and admiration.

Better to live up to high standards than live down to low ones.

>>25523918
Pretty sure I'm your guy...

Skype: [email protected]
Discord: crapshoot#4383

>>25523918
[email protected]

Can't promise we'll get along or anything, but let's see what happens.

>>25523480
>I have major depression that is unresponsive to antidepressants
look up microdosing for depression
it really helps, and a lot

28, Europe

I have been feeling quite lonely lately. There are many problems in my life, the people I would like to interact more with are all distant and tend to disappear for long periods of time due to social anxiety or personal family problems they have, which makes me further lonely when I try to talk with others both online and in real life. Since nothing much is going well in my life at the moment, I also further feel kind of worthless sometimes, knowing that very few people would like to bond with someone that is constantly marred by missfortune no matter how hard he strives to continue improving his life.

There doesn't seem to be escape from this circle, and I don't really know what to decide and in which direction set my life to finally get some tranquillity and safety from all these problems. I wish people would go beyond these to try and know me better as a person, and I wish I could stop focusing on seeking a job and talking of problems because others ask, and rather concentrate on movies, books, games, music, doing activities together, being comfortable and friendly and getting close to someone I finally feel I can be in a mutually good relationship with (all my past ones had me giving much more than they did, until it had to end), and so on. And I keep feeling like the coldness of ghosting and stopping talking is a dread that isn't going to leave me alone no matter how much my situation will improve.

>>25526545
Lets talk bro, sounds like you need it.

>>25526709
I do want to talk, but I don't think that words alone can really help me. Being in a country with a specialized school system, a different language and not having my independency are the main obstacles I have at the moment, fueled by the fact that I don't know what kind of job I would enjoy doing in the future, the path to achieve it, and support in human interactions by having healthy friendships here, rather than the toxic abusive ones I encountered so far. I still wonder whether I'll stay here or go somewhere else, and I'm further dependant on some people I would like to interact more with and have less distance between us.

I am a horrible mess for the most part. Not really psychological, but a mess of undecisiveness.

That aside, how is life treating you anon?

29/F

I feel like an old woman, trapped in my life and ready to let it all go. I have so very many moments where my impulse is to leave and never look back. I don't really want to talk, but at least let others know that they aren't alone in feeling tired of how things are. It's not all bad but life is definitely wearing me down.

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>>25527952

>>25527952
Fair bit older and male but amen to that

Bamp

>>25527952
Thank you for this post anon. Do you mind if I ask why you feel trapped, and if there isn't anything you thought of doing to improving the situation?

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>>25492592
41/m/Atlanta Area

/rant

Am I the only one here who is happier now that they are older? My teens and 20's were terrible and I was terrible as a result. I really grew into who I am in my early 30's and I love my life now.

Of course I didn't fuck it up by getting married and having kids.

My most recent ex who was 10 years younger complained about everything all the fucking time. She thought verbalizing it made her feel better. From what I can tell all it did was extend it and allow her to wallow in it. It also brought me down.

I'd like to find someone more permanent but I don't want to get married. A lot of the women my age are a mess or single moms. The one's a bit younger all want someone to take care of them, mostly financially.

If I'm going to do that it's going to be a Vietnamese housegirl who will cook and clean and kiss my feet. I don't want a spoiled suburbanite adult who only wants to sit on the sofa and watch netflix and be sad.

Are there no financially independent women who are happy and looking for someone to share their lives with?

I actually like dating, meeting new people and such is fun now but it's a goddamn mess out there.

b u m p

>>25530628
I love being older. Married happily for years to a guy my same age. Love my job, too. Marriage can be great, but you both have to want the the same things from it.

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>>25531989
>Marriage can be great

Yeah, I know it works SOME of the time and good for you especially. I know one happy couple. They live a charmed life a still dig each other. It's disgusting. :-)

>>25531994
Lolololol! I think the trick for us is that we each have our own individual jobs and hobbies, but are happy to support each other in pursuit of them. Keeps things interesting to share new things with each other that we each get into.

>>25523918
29 M Boston
Kik oceanofshiva

I'm 20 and what is this

>>25532084
>I'm 20 and what is this
not a thread for children

>>25532109
Well fuck you, too

Bomp

/ba/mp

>>25492719
Stop nagging, get your weight under control again, stop trying to peel him from his hobbies and friends, turn the sex back on, and let him relax after work instead of hassling him the minute he gets through the door.
Also, stop trying hi make him get rid of his identity in favour of becoming 'daddy'.

I'm guessing that you're guilty of the standard female thing of getting fat, nagging him, and trying to make him sell his car/motorbike/collections of things because 'You're daddy now and that's all you'll ever be'.

>>25534162
What a pleasant thread

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>>25535010
A diet of Ensure does have that effect.

>>25492719
>>25535010
generally the problem of people being stressed like this is that they don't feel well with that they have to do and the responsibilities they end up having. In most of the cases I saw it was something they didn't understand properly before bringing it upon themselves, or they were forced to bring them upon themselves. Not saying those are the cases, but it might be that his mood and reaction to it reflect in part that he doesn't feel happy with something in his life rather than feeling tired out from problems. Try asking him very peacefully and caringly if there could be a possibility he would prefer to try other approaches or think of alternative methods over the responsibilities, when applicable. When it's about stress from work and other mandatory things, try asking what could help him cope better, knowing that he can do it and you're there to support him in any way.

>>25499277
Probably either Pet Sounds or Smile. Or maybe Sufjan's Illinois.

Yeah I cheated and named three albums. Oops.

I am 26 so what do I do in this thread?

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>>25536516
Whoa, a combination of technological illiteracy and early-onset dementia.

You're gonna fit right in.

>>25532153
Omg, I love these stereotypical responses when peeps don't read! XD
>>25534162
You must know everything about married life from 4chinz. I think every single one of my female friends who are married with kids has taken up marathon running or cross fit or something, outsourced a portion of childcare due to having a job and both parents needing a break from the kids, and is horny as hell (30 to 45 years old) while their husbands needs to pop a pill to maintain an erection due to their lowered testosterone levels. Plus, read the thread and stop hassling this anon- her sitch is clearly not as your troll post describes.
>>25535020
:) I haven't tried Ensure, although I must say that I've tried a variety of protein powders to help maintain muscles. Any recs? No, I don't go to /fit/, but I do work out 5 out of 7 days a week.
>>25536516
It's just a place to connect with others who are a bit older.
>>25536774
More biting humor, please! :)

>>25537941
My humor's been described as both "that bites" and "that sucks."

What combination of biting and sucking do you prefer?

26/m/wisconsin

another failed attempt at a relationship this week. Online dating fucking sucks. It's just fucking terrible. And my schedule has made it difficult for me to meet people, I work on the weekends, I'm working now in fact. I'm sexually repressed and have been ever since I hit puberty due to personal issues with sex and it never really bothered me too much until this point, when now I see literally everyone around me shacking up and getting engaged and I'm still fucking alone. I hate my job, I hate my sexuality, how do I keep from hating everyone else and from hating life itself? I feel like I'm sinking and I need a fucking liferaft and no one is paying attention to me

Question from a 22 yold for adults.

How did you learn to deal with the uncertainty of the future? I'm currently in university and pretty freaked out about what I am going to do, I'm from the american continent but want to leave for Europe when I gradute due to shitty country reasons but that mean going far away from everything and everyon I know. How do you deal with not knowing wether you will have a decent life or become a poor lonely bastard maybe hooked on drugs due to laboral failure. So many questions I know probably most of you had, they keep popping on my head everyday at all times, how did you learn to calm yourself down over this.

Thank you adults.

>>25538206
Audible chuckle here. :) And I much prefer sucking to biting. I respond well either to gentle touching, stroking, licking or hard pounding. Sharp biting... not so much.
>>25538232
Sometimes a big change helps. I had a couple of friends from university quit their jobs and join the Peace Corps or move cross-country to do bartending, etc. It was scary AF for them, but to some degree it was their way of giving the finger to their old lives and gave them the confidence to start over. One of them (the engineer turned bartender) met his current honey after he said "fuck it" and moved onto a new life...
>>25538237
I don't think my anxiety about the future left until I was in my early 30s. I remember sitting on a floor of my studio apartment as a new grad, saddled with education debt, rent, auto payments, and crying that I would never be able to stop living paycheck to paycheck, and never be able to buy anything frivolous. I didn't have the wherewithal to find any tools to help calm myself down... I think I just kept focusing on certain goals (saving to invest, gunning for promotion, etc) and complaining to friends when I had an anxiety moment. These days, I have absolutely no financial worry, but there are many things I still want to do, like live abroad, etc.... but I still have the occasional, "am I gonna be homeless, eating popcorn out of a trash can in an alley one day?" It's one of those irrational fears that never goes away for me. So I have the thought and let it pass. (Sometimes working out or going for a walk helps it pass.)

>>25538237
I was sort of spewing, but I forgot to say... go to Europe. We have far less control over elements in our lives than we might htink that make our lives shitty or decent. But you have control over where you go, who you meet and connect with, and if you have the drive and ability to change your situation, then I'd say you have all the power and survival skills to make a great life for yourself, anon. Jump in.

>>25538567
>Sometimes a big change helps. I had a couple of friends from university quit their jobs and join the Peace Corps or move cross-country to do bartending, etc. It was scary AF for them, but to some degree it was their way of giving the finger to their old lives and gave them the confidence to start over. One of them (the engineer turned bartender) met his current honey after he said "fuck it" and moved onto a new life...
I get the advice but I do have a dog, so I need to be able to pay for housing and her expenses so I don't think I can just quit and go bartending in Cincinnati or something. I just need a new job. I don't know what, I don't know where, I just need out of here. I'm sick of wasting away my sexual prime all by myself with few friends.

>>25538630
I hear ya. I internally laughed because dogs can be great tools (?) to meet others. My guy and I are both dog lovers- helped us bond. Good luck with your next big (responsible) leap, whatever it may be!

Getting sick while older is getting scarier. Yesterday I spent mostly fading in and out of consciousness with a toothache and sickness, and it was scary. I don't have that feeling of invulnerability anymore, just that sense that I don't have the money to be sick, and then the worry that if I couldn't take care of myself, who could I really turn to for help?

>>25538746
thank you. My only chances with meeting people have been through my dog and I bought a license to take her to dog parks in the city so I'm going to try to meet someone through that route.

36/M/Arkansas
>>25492702
Yeah I never experienced jealously until a relationship ended with me being cheated on, now it's a struggle to keep it out of mind

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>>25494351
>The only time I've been touched by a woman in those 11 years was some weird drugged up psycho girl kept trying to hug me and hold hands in line at Best buy
Well, you got more action than me, senpai

28/M/UK
discord: spacedoge#7143

anyone can add, would be cool to talk to females, not many females on internet nowadays.

>>25492592
>be 21
>even since I've been 18, friends of age 23 and older kept unconsciously mistaking me for older than them
>probably just grew mature a bit more quickly due to having a shit life. Well, every normie says he had "such a hard youth", but you fuckers know exactly what I'm talking about. That's right, I mean you, anon.
>deep inside I'm just depressed because people are so ADDICTED to judging everything and everyone instead of just having fun
>and those who do have the spirit to be free and cheerful end up being asocial assholes
Why is it so tough to be adult, guys?
I thought the judging would stop after puberty, that there's finally a point after the hormone rollercoaster where people can... cooperate, help, and talk freely, to live in harmony.
But I guess becoming an adult just means realizing that it's only gonna get worse. That most adults aren't rational people, they're still the same pubescent pricks, except with more experience, so that they're even more effective at fucking up everyone's life.
And I wouldn't give a shit about friendship having lost majority of its former value, but I've never felt true romance either.
If I can't even borrow someone a fucking jacket and never see it or him again, how am I supposed to hand my heart to anyone?
It just feels dumb, from this perspective.
And until now, I've never been let down by the attitude of
>never expect someone to be more than an idiot, then nobody can underscore your expectations
And until now, nobody has proven the part that says "and if somebody's not an idiot, you'll be surprised positively!".
What bugs me most about this is the question whether society has been corrupted and fucked into this, or if life was always this way and our ancestors found a way to glorify the whole process of hunt-or-be-hunted

Bum

28, handheldless virgin.
Currently it feels like im waiting for my life to pass.
Have an ok job and being frugal i spend only a third of my net income, the rest simply accumulating. have a few weeks of vacation but dont feel the urge to organize going anywhere and it feels wrong just staying at home for a week reading books and playing games.
Plus i dont have any friends. Colleagues, acquaintances with whom i sometimes attend after work meetings, but nothing closer. wanted to try tinder or similar, but i dont even have photos of me. And its not like i dont have the looks, i even had girls flirt with me throughout school (apparently) but was too dense to realize it, like straight outta shounen Manga dense.
Off to work for now, earnign money that i dont need

>>25543993
Ooooh, a staycation of a week reading books would be so nice...

>>25492592
I'm 29, ask away

Also very successful in an interesting field...

>>25545010
>Also very successful in an interesting field...
>very successful
how do you define that

>an interesting field
same question

Don't tease just tell.

>>25545024
>how do you define that

I get offered jobs all over the US and even outside of the US working in data centers overseas for google

I'm fine with my current employer and don't want to move yet.

My field is tough to explain but I'm a design engineer on a solutions architect team. I am not the architect but I work with them on high level and some "normal" designs for network systems and tech

I say I'm successful and have earned my way up since I am always getting hit up for jobs and they will start me off on a good salary etc... I'm just not interested in moving right now

Adult bump.

>>25546093
I don't know whether that's slang for sex or a hernia.

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>>25499277

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27 soon, male, live along the rocky mountains.

Still deciphering lots of life's mysterieries. I am buried in a job that constantly makes me feel like Im on the edge of being fired, living alone off a single meal or two, downtown. I havent dated anyone in a while as I've grown very cynical towards people and doubtful in my abilities to make anyone including myself happy. I've focused a lot of my creativity towards being better at programming, designing, and engineering as I feel those areas are moving me forward. Dating has mostly held me back, although I miss cuddles, and cooking for each other, and massages a lot. Random bouts of depression and suicidalness occur at times, I keep notes to remind myself of my purpose although its getting harder to control the more I experience hardship.

Ive taken to diversions like rock climbing, yoga, drinking with my coworkers (teambuilding we call it), and Im going to see the eclipse and camp with a giant telescope soon

I am following aspirations of being a systems engineer in the space industry when Ive further pursed computer, electrical, and chemical engineering (hopefully for cheap abroad by my 30s). I have meticulous ideas to save the environment and move to others that tend to keep me around. I try to stay in good shape/health but honestly dont see myself making it to 40 or 50.

Politically pretty apathetic bordering on anarchy, spiritually taoism and pantheism have offered some enlightenment for the journey. I'm mostly just trying to be the best hacker I can be for now, getting better at programming and circuit design until I can create all the things in my head.

>>25546749
I would love to interview you. There are so many stories behind each of your statements.

27/M/Romania
After finishing my studies I got a minor panic about what next but found a job.
Most basic click here shit that I did not want to even bother with. Eventually left and gone NEET because fuck it, I have some savings.

But with the way the current world is working I got a new impulse. I started to work on myself to get from skinny to fit, and get a job as soon as my PC is repaired and I have a updated CV. Because in the current climate I can not ghost through the system without having to bother with all the downsides.


I don't know if I am normal or not but I know that as a rule intend to avoid people and contact them if I need something or want to discuss something, and this makes me loose contact with people I still regard as friends and would at the drop of a hat hop on a car to help if called. Sometimes for months, sometimes for years I have observed.

They are after all the people I spend over 12 years of my life with.

Dunno. Just venting.

>>25527952
Why do you feel trapped?
>>25536516
Pattern recognition motherfucker! Do you have it?
_____
One thing I want to ask the thread is why so many people are hung up about being virgins? If that is your problem go to a hooker and get rid of it. There done. I doubt it will solve much but eh.
Then again what do I know I am a virgin as well, but probably because I don't even bother to try to fix it. I went once to a hooker by the simple motivation that if I eventually do meet a girl I like I would know what to do and how to best perform.
But I just could not. Wanted to but no reaction. No trouble with porn. Even when with girls less attractive than the escort.
She told me some stuff that seemed to placate men , that this is normal. Dunno.
The one relationship i had was odd. We would all one another and talk for hours about various shit we cared about. But it was always me going back to the home town to meet her.
Effort, effort, no fucking payoff. I just drifted.

>>25546953
have at it I spose. Im interviewing now as it is anyway, had to call off an interview for a forensic data analyst yesterday actually cause my employer wouldnt let me off and Im out of pto due to my upcoming trip to stand in moon shadow.

Bump for DQ.

geriatric jiggle

>>25551125
Joke is older than the people in this thread

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>>25551125
>>25551992
Oh good, I've been waiting for the return of Vaudeville.

Age is funny. When I was in my twenties, I felt "old" because I wasn't achieving things as quickly as I felt I should be. Now, after shedding a bunch of insecurities, I feel really young even though I'm twice as old, physically. Sure, I can't recover as quickly after a workout, but I still have a lot of drive and love for life.

29 male
Lets talk depression
Seriously I'm dying a little inside everyday

27/M/London m8

At least, I will be when I'm back from holiday.

Anna bump.

>>25556355
Who is Anna? WTF is DQ?

>>25557409
Dairy Queen obviously.

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>>25557409
>>25557696
Soon to be 21st-century rebranded as "Dairy-Free Genderfluid Victim Of Patriarchy"

(Still want a Blizzard, though.)

>>25557795
So tasty..

>>25553393
Sometimes that frees up space for something else to come alive inside

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>>25558636
>space for something else to come alive inside
But it's not Peter Frampton....

>>25499277
Michael Jackson's Number Ones

>>25543993
32/m

I wasn't a handholdless virgin, but I did lose my virginity at the age of 32.

I went back to college, and I started regularly attending church where I met a young woman. It was more of a situationship/relationship hybrid, but things built up.

I now have a dating life I never experienced (including the drama and headaches that come with interested women lol)

You have it in you, and you can force it out by interacting with women until you find one you're comfortable with. After the first breakthrough, whether it be holding hands or making out or hanging over at each other's spot, you should find subsequent similar situations easier.

Just choose to go out instead of staying in. I know it's hard. I'm even "hiding" in a hotel room now reading instead of enjoying vacation outside when I've spotted two women who were interested, but I've got that hurdle to climb.

And back home will be a couple women to date because I put myself out there. Try POF if you're good at writing and don't want to approach someone outside.

>>25493665
Hey, why not

38/ M USA 504
Would be great to meet someone in my area.

darko_6969

An educated swamp troll (not to be confused with an internet troll) is looking for a fair maiden to experience mutual personal growth through relationship. [email protected]

24/M/US. Turning 25 in two weeks. Doesn't feel good family

>>25562323

>doesn't feel good

Why?

>>25559831
Is a good one

Bumping the thread for all you interesting people.

>>25546953
you sound like a good interviewer that doesn't just seek skills or someone they can pay less but earn more with.

b u m p

I've been having this issue for a few years now and thought it would fix itself by now but how do I get better at introducing myself? I figured this was something that would've changed by now and I'm curious if I just have to wait longer to maybe realize what I'm doing wrong. A simple "hi I'm Anon, how are you?" Has been working with mixed results, but I don't know how to consistently introduce myself well. Any tips?

>>25546749
>27 soon, male, live along the rocky mountains.
>Still deciphering lots of life's mysterieries. I am buried in a job that constantly makes me feel like Im on the edge of being fired, living alone off a single meal or two, downtown. I havent dated anyone in a while as I've grown very cynical towards people and doubtful in my abilities to make anyone including myself happy. I've focused a lot of my creativity towards being better at programming, designing, and engineering as I feel those areas are moving me forward. Dating has mostly held me back, although I miss cuddles, and cooking for each other, and massages a lot. Random bouts of depression and suicidalness occur at times, I keep notes to remind myself of my purpose although its getting harder to control the more I experience hardship.
>Ive taken to diversions like rock climbing, yoga, drinking with my coworkers (teambuilding we call it), and Im going to see the eclipse and camp with a giant telescope soon
>I am following aspirations of being a systems engineer in the space industry when Ive further pursed computer, electrical, and chemical engineering (hopefully for cheap abroad by my 30s). I have meticulous ideas to save the environment and move to others that tend to keep me around. I try to stay in good shape/health but honestly dont see myself making it to 40 or 50.
>Politically pretty apathetic bordering on anarchy, spiritually taoism and pantheism have offered some enlightenment for the journey. I'm mostly just trying to be the best hacker I can be for now, getting better at programming and circuit design until I can create all the things in my head.

fking newfags...youre welcome

>>25567609
In what situations? Different situations often require different approaches.

p.s. it would help to know what your expectations are - the problem might not be your introductions at all, it might be you're mistaken in your belief of what your "results" should be

bamp

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19/m

This is really weird. I have a fetish for girls who are extremely bi and borderline lesbian. BUT i never wanted to participate in threesomes or anything like that. It kind of stems from this girl i knew before. We both really liked each other but she said she liked the female body more than male and got it on with girls before. And it was just nice and comfy talking about how sexy girls are with another girl, and she was just an overrall interesting person since she was someone in STEM and i like listening to science. Her bisexuality wasnt the reason why weren't a couple though, she said she could marry a guy, we were just close friends. I feel a bit guilty, like im a narcissist that takes pride in converting lesbians, but its not that i want to convert them, i just feel some connection/rush. Also, i dont consider myself a trap boy in anyway, i workout and have short hair normal for a male.

I just want closure for what this could mean for any anon here thats dated lesbians and such? When i googled it, all of the male-lesbian relationships ended eventually with girl deciding she wants to be with women more. And i dont want this; not a cuck. And i really am not the type of guy who wants to force straight girls into yuri or threesomes and think thats disgusting and manipulative.

Anyone else here incredibly depressed by the day to day news? I've been going back and forth among anger, denial, and sadness. I guess today's a day of immense sadness and bewilderment. Talking about it doesn't help. Twitter doesn't help. I can hold my loved ones, and that helps, but only to some degree.
I know this isn't /pol/, and that there are plenty of Trump and current GOP supporters here, but I'm an old adult, just ... crying over how helpless I feel and how ashamed I am of my nation's "leadership". The end.

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>>25570371
I certainly understand your feelings.

The problem with feelings is they can then lead to feedback loops of confirmation bias - and the bigger the feelings the stronger the bias. The only way to counteract this is to constantly maintain balance by asking "What are the things for which I have *direct, objective proof*? Where is it *I*, or the things I believe I know, might be wrong?"

In logic that's the essence of the well-known fallacy "a false premise implies any conclusion." And that's why it's always important to examine what we believe we know most critically of all. Everything else rests on that - at least if we're claiming to be in any way rational - and so constantly looking for how *we ourselves* are wrong is the safety line that keeps us tethered to "reality" (as much as any of us can experience it).

You might want to watch these short videos about making judgments and the "Ladder of Inference."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6deHZzV4vHM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9nFhs5W8o8

So I'm not saying your feelings are wrong, or you're not justified in having them based on what you believe. I *am* saying that perhaps the world you see and believe is filtered through a bias (we all have them - except me, of course ;) ). And if you can correct for this incomplete perception, then because your feelings are based on what you believe are perceptions and facts, your feelings will change.

Again, people even older than I said it well:

"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."

ripip olds

>>25573428
Turning 30 in a month, still in the closet, never even kissed anyone. Feel like I've gone this far, what's the point coming out now anyway? Family are homophobic, I'm a solid 5/10 in looks, I prob won't ever meet a guy anyway.

Feels bad man. All my friends are coupling up and getting married and making a success of their lives. I'm just sad, in a shit job, living at home. I've lost all my motivation and zest for life.

>>25573501
Ouch. Really sorry to hear that, anon.

Watching friends get married is always tough. It's not much consolation when many of them get divorced a few years later.

But the way to happiness in life is to focus more on the things you do have than on the things you don't.

Rather than focus on the things you don't have, are there things you either do like, or could find? A good way to get to things that are for the moment too far away is to reach for the things that are possible. Once you've taken that step the others things are closer.

And once a person finds *something* that makes them happy the other things become less important anyway, because what most people want isn't any particular thing, it's the happiness itself.

Good luck.

>>25493665
Nascar8n3

>>25523918
Got kik? .mines nascar8n3

exhuming

Lazarus

Where are all the old people? Did they really all die?

>>25577525
A little bit each day, yes.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust

Just turned 30, I feel like shit. I'll never be a 20-something again, and that scares me

>>25578575
It sucks bro/broette but enjoy your life. When you're 40 you'll think back to the good old days of being 30.

I'm >30 & <35 years old.
For me life is actually much better right now than when I was a teenager.

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28/f here

Anyone else here childfree? I feel like everyone else is having kids but...fuck that

>>25579111
30, single, happy, no children here!

32/m
who else's friends are getting married and having kids and are only hanging out with other couples with kids? I'm getting left out of the social circle we had. Its odd. Hanging out with younger people gets annoying too. What gives!?

>>25579152
yeah i know how that goes. Older cool people like us exist tho! Life is WAY better without kids tho, imo

>>25578585
this is what the 50 yos tell the 40 yos, too
>>25579111
childfree and married, but still hang out with friends with kids. i don't mind kids, but never saw myself wanting to raise a human. i'm glad my friends seem to be loving parents, though.

>>25579183
I agree. Kids seem like they suck your whole life up. "I can't come tonight. no one to watch the kids."

26 male here

I'm amazed constantly at how fast time is passing. I feel like everything is subject to inflation and I'm more bored and less stimulated by things every year. I've discovered my career field is boring and I hate 8-5ing but doubt I'll have the motivation to be self employed. started trying game design because so far it's interesting to keep me up at night.

I archetype people more and more and hate doing it. hate it even more when I learn my knee jerk judgements on a person are correct.

dating an xxy tranny who's a really cool partner. On one hand as a person shes an awesome partner and easy to talk to and fun to hang out with, but she'll never feel/smell/look quite like a cis girl. with everything losing flavor I miss the old days of courting and having sex with girls, having those undeniable hardwired rewards both psychological and sexual.

I hate knowing happiness is really just bring cleverly distracted and we're all dust in the end. I don't know what fulfillment even means. I tried the "something bigger than yourself" stuff when I was younger and found most people are in it for themselves, those that kept in contact kinda seemed like they did it out of obligation, not gratitude.

I hate the only options seeming to be raw apathy and hedonism. I always wanted life to mean more than that.

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>>25492719

23/m
Hey everybody, I just thought I'd stop in here to ask a little advice. Has anyone here been medicated for a while? I understand that Prozac really hasn't been on the market for a substantial amount of time, but has anyone taken antidepressants for any extended period of time? I've been on just about every type of antidepressant out there, and some of them have helped, but I really don't know how I feel about it. I've been struggling with this particular issue since I realized that I've been on some form of antidepressant since I was 14. I don't feel depressed, but I almost never feel any real joy either. It feels as if every day is exactly the same. I know there's other threads for this, but I'd rather ask somebody who isn't medicated. I really appreciate it.

>>25580192
> I don't feel depressed, but I almost never feel any real joy either
Then they are working as intended. What you should do, if you feel ready for it, is talk to your doctor and say you are interested in trying to stop the meds. It might feel scary and unusual, but in the long term it would probs be better for you.

>>25580209
Thank you, I think that's a good idea. I think that just removing it all together would make me happier in the sense that I'd know I wouldn't be influenced by drugs. I can't really remember how I felt before I started taking these things; it's been so long. I also think that they're pretty bad in the sense that I feel okay with just doing nothing and being unproductive. But I really appreciate you. I'm definitely going to have to have a talk with my doctor.

>>25579616
Happiness and purpose are different but can be linked. I don't know how a curious mind can stay bored for an appreciable length of time.
I'm not offering advice, but I wonder how far you've pushed yourself up the risk-reward curve. Are you not motivated to be self-employed, or is fear holding you back? Going from wage slave to self-employed can be terrifying and exhilarating.

"CLEAR!"

zzzzZZZZZAP

>>25492675
43/m/Fla
>>how do you deal with jealousy?
I can't say that I ever held any jealousy against any one, mainly in a relationship. I too tend to believe that it has something to do with maturity.
>>How has that changed over the years, if at all?
I'll N/A this one because if I haven't truly felt jealousy how can I answer this one....

>>25499277
Slayer Raining Blood.

29\m\europe

quest for happiness still unsuccessfull. Starting new every day. Kinda sadness oriented emotional spectrum but it's ok. I like it. Searching for a smart woman to happen out there.

New quest starting in 3...2...1...

Anyone here ever try rejection therapy? Thought I might try it (make a plan to get rejected once a day to acclimate your body and mind to it), but I think that what I can't "get over" is betrayal, not rejection. How do I learn to forgive, O senpais?

Bump for DQ!!!

>>25584342
word

31/m/eu

I fucked up alot lifechoices in my teens to mid 20's but I have managed to finish education and got a job and stable life

When i turned 30 I set myself the goal to experience new things and by new things i mean traveling and drugs.

I did nt want to get trashed but I wanted to experience new things as in body and mind.
The most offputting thing about trying out th ings was that I never wanted streetlevel quality.
But this did nt matter with the darknet option.

2 years later now I think I can say I am at the end of this phase and I am a better person than I ever was before thanks to psychodelics and mdma.

I would recommend this not to everyone but to alot of people improvment of their persectives and life in general.

I did also a metric ton of research before I ve tried any of it to understand how to dosage and what to expect.


I am open to questions If anyone wants advice or anthing else.

Bamp

>>25580262
at this point I'd just be foolish to quit my job. I have a few ideas I'm pursuing but they'll take time to build up to a point of actual profit. found a way to build a product in a niche marker but need to find a seller for a part. also am under contract at the moment so it'll be a while yet.

>>25546193
Sounds better than page 10 bump. Speaking of which, page 10 bump.

Jizzing myself over GoT bump

Those threads really are the comfiest on all of soc. I may be too young for y'all but you're pretty great.

Any older French-speaking anon here ?

Also, dear adults, how do you deal with terrible family relations ?

>>25585722

I am also interested on drugs, the stim type used for ADHD (adderral, ritalin) and no way I can have them scripted where I live.

It's not intended to be recreational but just to get the day going.

How trustworthy can be darkweb sources, how do I find a legit one?

Do you use a VPN other than TOR to connect?

>>25589123
>terrible family relations
Elaborate, pls

>>25590607
Stuff like : a bipolar mother, and a father with nevrosis since his son died twenty years ago.
I might be able to leave the house for at least a year soon, but before that I'm trying not to fuck everything up. As long as I live with them I cannot try to explain what problems we have since the threat of being kicked out of the house is ever present.

26/m here

It's gonna sound weird but due to my unusual life story I'm not capable to express my sexuality. Even though I had 10+ sexual partners after losing my v-card 3 years ago, basically all of them happened by accident and every girl took the initiative. I don't really understand how to make a move and have an unnatural phobia of making body contact or even giving compliments (almost like Alex in Clockwork Orange after his "treatment", there is some kind of force that stops me from doing that, as weird as it sounds). I'm a pretty good looking guy (according to lots of people), generally social, but when it comes to opposite sex, I'm useless. I don't really know what to do. Any advice?

>>25492592

28/m/Sweden here

Not really depressed or anything. I'm a mechanical Engineer making good money, and i like engineering so it's a good fit for me.

I used to have GF's partying, some one night stands etc during Colleage and some years after but not anything these last 2 years.

Feels kind of good to be alone, and to pop open a few beer's at home watching the current anime season instead of being out partying or having to be with a girlfriend.

Still miss it sometimes, and sometimes I get pangs of regret for which i could do different in my life. But they mostly go away.

I live frugal and I'm planning to apply for a year studying Japanese in Japan next autumn when I'm 29. Depending on my life situation then and such. Since I'm currently self studying japanese and can read Yotsuba, NHK news web easy and similar without looking up every word.

I have been on 4chan on and off since about 2005-2006 but now I have been here quite a lot the last 2 years.

>>25590728
Get drunk to make your phobia go away.

>>25590834
Tried, almost no difference. This shit sits very deep within me.

>>25590951

i love guys like you. making the first move is my preference.

>>25590995
I wish I met more people like you.

>>25591023

well, you don't know much about me, to be fair.

>>25591088
Indeed. It would still be interesting though. Getting to know people isn't boring, usually, especially when you don't know many people like them.

>>25591313

That's true, i love meeting new people.

>>25590834
By the way, since you are swedish, might as well ask you that. What's a good way to approach a girl here? And what's a good way to let her know I want her in my bed?

>>25590681
I'm sorry to hear that anon.
If it helps, I learned later in life:
1. my parents were fallible persons, with their own personal demons and responsibilities
2. I could not change them or their behavior, much as I tried.
3. I was not responsible for some of their neuroses. For other actions they did that made me nuts, I actually WAS responsible.
4. It's ok to hate family sometimes. I love my family, although we learned how to hurt each other brutally over the course of living together when I was growing up. I didn't love them all the time.
5. Putting 3k miles between us helped

Change what you can - even if it's the way you think about them, working towards being able to leave the house, etc. Good luck. Sorry my advice isn't that great.

And bump

>>25591512
Might "not be great", but hearing even part of life stories from older people has always made me feel better. Helps to take a look at the big picture.
So thank you anon.

>>25592534
Bump

26/M/TN here. Single for the first time in five years. What should I do, anons?

>>25593970
Dwell on something other than the fact that you're single

>>25591499
Just be yourself dude.
Else it's like everywhere i suppose, It's just that trying to pick up a girl on the street or similar will make you come off as a creep. Approach when they are in an area where they know they will be approached, bar, party etc. And keep a bit of distance. The Spanish / Italian way of just sticking to a girl wont roll well with alot of swedish girls.

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bump

34/M/Portland OR (more or less)

Was a kissless virgin with pretty bad social anxiety up until about 27, then I had about 6 months of success (got laid/3rd base on multiple first dates, fucked around with a couple women who were previously platonic friends). And then it just kinda...stopped. I stopped getting dates, stopped fucking around with friends. It just all came to a grinding halt. My desire was still there, my ability to perform hadn't changed. The success just went away. And of course the social anxiety came back with vengeance.

But hey, at least I've got the rest of adulting handled. Have a decent job (not great, just decent blue collar stuff with a livable wage and benefits), and I have zero debt. Have roomies but I don't mind too much, since it keeps me from being too totally isolated.

Sonwhere I'm going with this isthat anymore I work really hard to not let jealousy affect my mood or my actions. This foreveralone status I'm falling into is teaching me to be grateful for whatever social attention I get, and hopefully that will transfer over into any future relationships I may develop, so that I'm grateful she, whoever she is, chooses to share her life and her time with me, rather than being jealous and possessive of those things.

Yeah, I'm aware that the thread has mostly gone off this topic, but whatevs.

>>25596236

You sound really lovely.

36/M here

I stay up late browsing /soc/ wondering what I'm doing with my life. Guess I'll shitpost some more but if any girls want to chat then give me a message

kik Baked Goods

>>25596271
Based on your other posts in this thread I'll assume you're being genuine. In which case thank you :) I try to be. There's so much negativity around in the world, I try to keep my tiny corner of it a littlemore positive.

Also damn phone and your inability to stay connected and keep a poster ID.

>>25589123
>terrible family relations
one day at a time.

>>25596319

Oh yes, 100% genuine. you sound like someone I'd love to know.

>>25596303
More shitposting please?

>>25596338
send me a kik and I'll tell you a shitty joke

>>25596406
But then I have to install kik. :(
and I love shitty jokes!

>>25596406
What are you favorite soc threads?
Does your kik ID refer to ganja? Or donuts? Or weed donuts?

>>25596409
gotta do the crime if you want the time

>>25596413
it's just baked goods, I have no idea what you are implying officer!

as for my favorite soc threads, probably the rate ones. It's interesting to see how varied people's tastes are

>>25596457
Are you a dom? Going to make me beg for the stupid joke? >:(

Hello,

36/M/Switzerland here

>>25596501
alright I'm not mean, here it is. try it on your friends

what's a pirates favorite letter?

>they always answer with ARRRRR

ayyye ye think that, but his first love be the C

>>25596550
Laughed so hard that I dropped my Aye-phone!

>>25596528
In your opinion, are the rumors about Switzerland being the best place to live true? Why/why not?
> I wrote a 6th grade essay about why I wanted to move to Switzerland. I put in a bunch of socioeconomic and political stuff, but really it was because I had a crush on the Swiss exchange student 4 years my senior.

>>25492675
jealousy?

realised I'm not the only one feeling it and as it feel like a weakness to some extent, i had to redpill myself on stuff to get rid of it.

>>25596588

I'm not here to discuss why or why not swiss is a good place to live !
I move there because i love the country and i add the opportunity ;)
but you're right, people here are sexy !

28, female. Been visiting 4chan on and off since I was 17. A lot has changed, on the forums and in my life. Wish I was a home owner and had more confidence in my career.
>>25492675
>jealousy
I think I'm too lazy to be jealous. It's a bad solution, burn it works.

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Cogitating on this today.

27/m/US

You'd think the memes about hitting the dating wall at 25 were just memes, but nope. All women around my age are single mothers who actually put "My child comes first" in their tinder profiles. Not exactly losing my mind over the dating game, but that shit gets frustrating.

>>25596550
Come back and amuse me, Mr. Bundt Cake Man!

>>25579111
I'm in a situation where I wish I had children, but I'm already 29 and have never even touched a man, so that's probably not going to happen.

>>25599666
Is it a choice or is there something else to it ?

>>25599666
Satanic trips bump

>>25599666
Adoption or artificial insemination? Or do you not want to be a single mom... why do you want kids?