Hey /soc/, I'm going to kill myself tomorrow after work.

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>>25298591
For these reasons any chance at turning my life around is non existent. Not to sound cliche but I'm truly without hope. This hopelessness burns through every fiber of my being. Being awake is undescribably torturous. I remember all my shortcomings. My losses. And my father's tear filled dying face. I remember watching him whither away, completely powerless. I remember the truth it taught me about the nature of life. I remember the faces of the people I love that had to say goodbye to me because I'm too fucked up and beyond help.

I want to say I love my dad. I love Scott and Marion and Trent and Tanner. I want to say I'm sorry that they ever had to know me. I want them to know I hate myself. I want the world to know that I hate it. I fucking hate this farce of a life that is nothing more than ultimate suffering because that's where all roads inevitably lead. And I want my mother to know I hate her. I truly do.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I wish you all the best in life. If there is a god I will spit in his face for this curse. And again I'm sorry to anyone who had to know me.

"From this nightmare
Someday I'll wake
To sleep Forever
Forever"


-Brandon

>>25298591
>>25298602
So much hate


For me, I am overcome with love for everything around me but convinced that everyone essentially hates me. I am not worthy of reciprocal love, and despite the short pain I will cause by taking my own life, I am happy to know that the world will be better off without me.

I have been wealthy, rich in friends and family, a leader, educated, traveled and privileged. But my grief over being a facade and bearing the envy, hate and ceaseless assaults is too much. I do not see that it will end. So I will end it.

I'll put on a Tyvek jumpsuit to contain the mess, then put a bag over my head filled with industrial nitrogen, in case you were wondering. I was going to hang myself but that would be messy.

~ Vincent

Can you guys give me some pointers if you go through with it? I don't want to leave a body, but I don't have the balls to do this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=To_I3E9k4qo

>>25298591
im 23 F and never had sex nor been with a man. Should i kill myself too? no man wants me :(

>>25298733
lol

>>25298733
No, you shouldn't. There are more important things in life. I'm 24 male virgin, not bothered by it.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and believe me, whatever you're doing through IS temporary- you can work past it.

You are comparing yourself to your father way too much. You are not your father, you are your individual person, and you do not need to live up to your father to have worth.

I know the guilt you deal with over your dad's death. My mother fell into a terrible downward spiral over dissatisfaction with life and deep depression. She became a detriment to herself and me, though she never let out any allusions to suicide. She switched between a loving and selfless mother, and a selfish mildly abusive person and over time her loving side faded and the abuse got worse. She had a stroke when I was 16, and from then on used it as a guilt tactic, "if you stress me out, I'll have another stroke and die." When I was 18, I left home to get away from the abuse and began to be off and on vagrant (was still attending High School). Shortly before my 20th birthday, after being away from home for nearly 2 weeks, I was informed my mom had a stroke and heart attack and died on the couch. I blamed myself, I questioned what her final thoughts were and if I could have been there to call 911.

You were NOT a shitty son, you were not responsible for his mental illness, especially as a kid. His mental illness manifested in selfish mistreatment of you. No stable adult parent should be repeatedly telling a 12-year-old they're going to kill themselves. Your dad needed serious help and I assume he wasn't getting it, by his own choice. It's not your fault, and you shouldn't let yourself believe it is.

As an advice drom someone that looked into the deeps of the universe, you have 0 control over your life, this is like a reality show, you are the voice in your head. The other guy is the one that controls your body. So bad luck if he wqnts to kill you. I tought when i was like 12 that if i lived beyond 18 it would be a miracle. I was usually sad, but I discovered the truth, there is no thing like happiness, the only real feeling is depresion and desperation. So i embraced it. I became something more, nothing bring me more joy than other people disgraces, fear and pain. I was thinking nothing interesting would happen today. So thx you. You will bee food for my soul. Exquisite one. The think that brings me more joy is imagining you suffering because your misserable atempt of running from my world is like mcdonalds bbq sauce for nuggets. I fuking love it but don't remember it exist most of the time. I'm going to go habe dinner. If you could do me favor, look for an intrincsted sistem to broadcast tour utter sufering. I would greatly ignore you any way. If you made it this far what u want a pin for it? Just ignore the world and concentrate in making that u most desire. Anyway ur going to die someday. Why rush it when interesting things are arround the corner? War, technology, with a bit of luck women slavery again. pd:. I love playing with people minds and have the empathy to suffer a hell just by imagining it, an i'm still alive for one reason. I know i'm god, the world exist because i wanted it to exist, nothing more, nothing less. I don't realy care what ur going to do, i know i'm just talking to miself. But watever it's not me the one to is going to the other side without a full life of training.

>>25298741
>>25298740
what if my vagina closes up though? Hoesntly, i never went inside. I'll never have a bf though? Im a waste of pussy :(

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>>25298741
>My mother and step dad hate me. And they've raised my sister into someone I truly despise.
Then you don't need them.

I'm an only child, and grew up with my mom. My dad has repeatedly abandoned me and died of colon cancer in 2015. I don't get along with his daughters at all and didn't grow up with them. Many families aren't perfect, some people just don't have a family deserving of that title. This has nothing to do with you, and they're probably selfish people. You can exist without them. I've existed without a genuine family for a decade, and I've met people who have felt more like family than my blood relatives.

You're letting emotional disorders and past trauma with your dad dictate your self worth and value. Get professional help. You can get help regardless of your financial situation. and even if your first therapist is a complete hack (it happens), keep trying until you find someone who truly helps you.

>I'm not fit to make it in this world.
Yes you are; everyone is.
>I'm a broken brain
There are hundreds if not thousands of people with mental illness that thrive and survive until they die of old age.
>an ugly failure who is this way by default.
No you are not. You had a shitty family that made you feel like less of a person. You are not responsible for their abuse and degradation of your self-worth.

Please reconsider, OP, if you want to see about professional help to get you past this hurdle, I can try to point you in that direction.

>>25298602
Seek therapy, assuming that this is true, you can learn to cope with your pain man. Suicide is usually not the solution. Whether you believe anything happens after death or not. There are people who care about you and if you seek treatment and get better you can help others and make a positive difference in the lives of others, if you kill yourself, you hurt the people you love and who love you.

>>25298762
will i find a man?

>>25298746
I don't know how prevalent this is, but if we had a close personal relationship, we coyld be married and never have vaginal sex, not ideal but I wouldn't mind. Also what you are asking is physically, anatomically impossible. Try to find a relationship that isn't based on sex.

>>25298746
Yeah, we'd all believe that your box closes up if you don't put anything in it for 24 years lol. You'll be fine. Maybe you should post a pic of yourself so we can have a me people verify that you'll be fine :P Besides a tight pussy is always better than a worn out one anyways

>>25298764
If you look for one yeah. Where have you been looking? What kind of guy do you want? What are you like? Billions of people in this world girl.

>>25298591
If you want to talk please kik me. I know I don't know you or anything but I really would love to talk to you. My kik is scarymansion. You don't have to feel alone.

>>25298774
i want to have sex...im just not into hooking up. Im not a one night stand kind of person. With the right guy, i would do all kinds of things. Im a very kinky person, however i wanted to save myself for a guy who will love me. preferably, a much older man who likes age play. Im not ugly tho for references. Although, it does really matter. Ugly girls get more D than i probably will.

You have your whole life to do something, even if it's small. Start a hobby, save up to travel, move away and have a fresh start. You deserve to live, and you have a lot to live

>>25298778
someone honest. He doesn't have to be super handsome. Someone kind and very smart. Someone with humour. Looks dont appeal to me. One's personality appeals the most to me.

>>25298790
>>25298796

I've never done ageplay and I'm in my mid twenties but everything else you said sounds lovely those are good priorities to have in a man. Would you liketo make contact outside of this thread?

>>25298727
>Can you guys give me some pointers if you go through with it?

No. If I go through with it then it will be hard to give you pointers.

>>25298787
BTW thanks for offering your contact in case this is serious and he needs help.

>>25298591
I love you, anon. God loves you. Don't kill yourself. The Sun is always shining upon you.

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>>25298733
>>25298764
>>25298790
>>25298796
Hijacking someone's suicide note thread like this isn't cool.

>>25298787
Thank you for the offer. I appreciate your kindness. But I've been trying to beat my pain for 28 years and I've learned that talking doesn't help. Nothing changes the fact of what I am.

>>25298848
i'll leave then

Life is a show where you get to choose your own role. Act

>>25298741
I'm sorry about your mother. Thank you for the kind words. I hope you found love and joy.

>>25298860
>Nothing changes the fact of what I am.
You do. You're not the first nor the last to go through something like this, and just as others have worked through it, you can too.

>>25298591
You come across as very self-centred

You don't realise how lucky you are, I know a guy who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer at 19, he was just accepted in college at the time, his life is over.

And you want to kill yourself over the most menial of issues, quite pathetic

>>25298873
I wish that were true with bipolar illness.

>>25298591
first of all, a dad that tells his 12 year old son that he's going to kill himself is not an "awesome dude"
that you exist in the world means that you are fit for it
open yourself up to being helped and help will come
you're only limited as far as you limit yourself, the world is workable

>>25298878
You're right I am pathetic. That's why tomorrow I'm gonna die. This place and everyone I know will be better off.

>>25298878
Please don't try to dismiss someone's issues and pain with another form of "someone has it worse" it's wrong, immoral and cruel to do that. Everyone's feelings are valid and matter since each person goes through life differently. You shouldn't have to be diagnosed with a illness that is terminal to be deemed as worthy enough reason for a person to be sad. Move along with your harsh words and grow up and realize everyone sufferes differently.

>>25298880
You can take medications for bipolar depression, I have it.

>>25298884
He was mentally ill. He needed help. I didn't give it. Not even when I was older.

>>25298591
if this is the only way out of this pain..
godspeed

>>25298893
Please kik me scarymansion

>>25298896
I have been. They aren't doing it buddy.

Soooo...are you not being treated for your mental illness?

>>25298908
Try different ones friend.

>>25298900
you seem to have some type of mental illness -
whether it's depression or whatever. would you go to your 12 year old child and tell him that you were going to kill yourself? and expect him to help you? or would you go to get real help?

stop blaming yourself.

also - try sitting with whatever horrible feelings you're having and taking the focus off of the thoughts and stories that come with them. just sit with the feeling and see what happens

Thank you guys for reaching out and being kind. I appreciate it. I expected to be utterly decimated verbally.

I don't think my mind can be changed at this point though. I've tried fighting this for some time and I'm just too tired, sad, and enraged to keep doing this.

Sorry to be a downer.

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>>25298591
Have you ever thought of dropping everything and moving to another part of the country for a fresh start???


If you want to disappear, don't kill yourself just move, move as far away from your old life as possible and get a fresh start, basically a new life. Fuck your family if they hate you so be it, don't tell them just get out of there.

>>25298915
You don't have to feel bad for whatever you're feeling. Your emotions are valid.

>>25298864
Please don't kill yourself.

>>25298914
The other night my mom and step dad and I had a blowout. We ended our relationship and honestly fuck them, but than I get back to my place and sit out front for a cig and overhear my roommates talking tons of shit about me. I honestly thought they liked me. But anyways I just have no one left now. I can't expect people to love me when I'm so depressing. But I can't do this alone (nor do I want to do it at all) and that's what I am; alone.

>>25298930
You're not alone I have asked you to talk to me about 4 times now. You really shouldn't let people's ideas of you affect you so bad. Learn to love yourself because you have to take care of the person that matters the most and that person is you. If you become friends with yourself you'll never ever be alone.

>>25298922
That's good advice. And yes I've considered that very seriously. The problem is I don't know how to get myself motivated to save money and take on the task. I really, at a core level, deep down just don't want to live. I know any knew relationships I build will just be destroyed by me like all the ones before.

If anyone is severely depressed or suicidal and wishes ro talk privately they can reach me at
afakeemail4thechans at gmail dot com

>>25298939
I appreciate you trying to talk to me. Thank you for reaching out.

>>25298941
There are some good stories on reddit about people who have disappeared to start a new life if your interested.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ggexx/serious_people_who_have_disappeared_and_started_a/

Anyone and everyone who feels this way please message me.

KIK: Axshield

I've been there <3
I'm not going to force you to do anything or out of anything.
I just needed someone to talk to and someone happened to be there. Please let me be there for you

>>25298946
Then talk to me I want to be your friend. :-)

>>25298915
fwiw, the world will not be "better off" without you. I went through a long time with this justification for suicidal thoughts. It took a lot of putting myself in the place of those who would be left behind in a realistic sense, not just assuming what they thought of me. When you dwell on those thoughts, they spiral out of control very easily, and they become a false reality where you are the lowest scum of the earth and everyone hates you. I guarantee you that isn't the case.

>>25298947
Thank you. I'll look at these. I appreciate your kindness.

>>25298930
well i sort of agree with this guy >>25298939
though you won't actually never be alone
most people live their lives doing every thing they can to not feel lonely. you're at a point where you feel like you need to kill yourself to get away from the feeling (which won't work...). but you could just... deal with it. come to terms with the loneliness. love yourself. accept yourself. this isn't to say it won't be painful. i've coming to terms with a lot of shit about myself over the past 2 years after running away from it for 10 years through drug abuse, and it's been incredibly painful at times. it's also been the best, happiest 2 years of my life

if you don't end up killing yourself and you're open to some reading, Pete Walker's CPTSD helped me tremendously

>>25298957
Thank you. I'm glad you're doing better.

>>25298956
Are you a virgin

>>25298984
>>25298984
No. Been awhile though.

For what it's worth I sure hope you don't go through with it. That would be a complete waste of life despite you feeling like a waste of life. There's a number of good suggestions here of what you can do if you don't go through with it and I would say that you should hit pause on the suicide thing and say fuck all of it. Figure out how to get the best possible weed oil or wax and start getting stoned as fuck and considering your possible actions or not and just enjoy your high. Then keep doing that as much as you find it helps and you will find that it helps. I can't say that I ever seriously thought about suicide as an option but I do know that until I started getting stoned regularly I always had depression and anxiety issues that no pill could help. I'm of the mind the weed is still illegal in 2017 because of its infinite uses for so many different ailments. You've been programmed to see and understand things a certain way since birth and until you start looking at things differently it's unlikely that you'll ever be happy. Do things that make you uncomfortable or make others uncomfortable, who gives a shit, there are so many things you can do but you will never get happiness from a keyboard or a computer. GET STONED!!!!

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>>25298591
Stop caring faggot
About everything and anything
Less likely to kill yourself
Prove me wrong

Since you don't give a shit about anything why would you be depressed, sad, angry, lonely, stressed

>>25298988
At least you had sex

>>25298997
I'm a>>25298988
You want my virginity?

>>25298988
Was she pretty?

>>25299008
Why are you hung up on sex?

>>25299019
Not the last one. But there's been beautiful special girls in my life. But I ruined all those. I had a fiance that is the love of my life. But she left me a couple weeks after my dad died. She said I was too depressed.

I've gotten pretty husky since he died though, been drinking alot. Girls aren't really interested in me anymore.

>>25299008
There are virgin threads and gf/ideal mate threads and local threads if you are interested.

>>25299032
I'm a female virgin at 23. That's rare

>>25299037
You care toooooooooooooooooooooooooo much
Stop caring

>>25299037
You can have me. I'm pretty

>>25299045
I know you're right but I don't know how. I've tried that many times.

>>25299037
Don't die please? Live for me. We could start a new life together

>>25299044
Send your kik

>>25299037
Are you taking meds or got a therapist ?

>>25298591
So your dad was a shitty father and you don't like your family. What's the big deal? Just live life on your own.
I'm fine with people killing themselves when there is nothing in life they enjoy but killing yourself because your father can't regulate his emotions is really, really stupid.

You could do DBT, get a simple job and live life mostly on your own sheltering dogs or being a park ranger or playing video games or writing, whatever the hell. If you get your purpose in life from how other people see you, you're not mentally ill, just plain stupid.

>>25299049
Sounds too good to be true. Are you depressed because you're a virgin? I'd rather help you find happiness. What do you think is stopping you from finding a partner?

>>25299037
Got any money or cool shit I can have?

You arent responsible for what happened with your father, he had a problem and handled it poorly.
I dont think you should commit suicide, but if you are going to. Why not just go party, do some drugs, fuck some hookers. Live a little before you die, you are "bullet proof".

>>25299054
Tell yourself every day you don't care and that's it
Shit back in the day my own friend used to call me gay every day for 2 years to the point I don't give a shit what anyone says to me, also cunt dad won't stop shouting at me for pointless stupid things so I just stopped caring what he said to me, its like he doesn't exist. Also I don't feel anything

>>25299060
That's just part of it. I'm bipolar. My brain is shit and I can't be happy. If I can't be happy I should die because constant struggle is pointless.

>>25299055
You're extremely sweet if you're real.

>>25299056
Meds. Can't afford a therapist.

>>25299044
A lot of religious girls stay virgins for that long.

>>25299070
I used to be suicidal too, but I decided to work with charities and try to improve people's lives instead, it feels good to do good.

>>25299080
You should really consider trying to help people, it distracts me from my constant physical pain and frequent mental/emotional pain

>>25299088
Why you dont try to get a new life ? Start from 0 ? Change country change life change everything. If i was you and had nothing to care that what i will doing. (sorry for bad english)

I suffer of Schizoaffective disorder, everyday is not easy, i fucked everything in my life, lost many people, lost all my friend cause my mood changing everytime, i wanted to kill myself for a long time, then i went in a psychiatric hospital and realized that not the life i want to live, and i tried my best for changing my life, i still have my illness but know i dont suffer like before, i got a therapist and meds ( meds help me a lot )

>>25299105
You're a good person for what you do. Like I said I'm going to get drunk and leave tomorrow but I appreciate your kindness. I'm glad you are working through your pain. I hope life continues to improve for you friend.

>>25299117
Good job. I'm glad you got help. You're strong. You should be proud of yourself. But it's not that I don't care. I do care and I am in constant pain. I don't have the will anymore to try or endure. I'm weak and broken and it's too late for me now. I'm 28.

>>25299082
I'm real. What I'm saying is factual. I have no idea why I haven't had a sexual relationship. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Im here for you. I dont want anyone to hurt themselves. I'm here to support you, okay?

>>25299135
do you that another form of contact? You are not leaving tomorrow! i dont have kik

>>25299121
It requires lots of work but it's really fulfilling and in the next few years I can begin to work on opening centers and free resources.

I feel you man, I live in a 3rd world shithole with no future. I have no motivation, still trying to finish school at 27, 0 money to my name, few skills I can be proud of, been depressed since I was 10, no amount of treatment could fix me, I'm a virgin which only had one gf, I'm ugly as fuck and balding, my teeth is all kind of fucked up because we had no money to fix it, I just feel no hope for my life. I think about suicide everyday but I just can't do it because I'm a coward.

>>25299140
What are your personal relationships like? Where are you? You don't have to be specific.

>>25299146
You got snapchat so ?

>>25299135
Im weak too and broken, dont leave this world dude, please i dont know what i can say for saving you, i know you dont want to talk etc but look in future if you going through all this you will be proud ! Dont let your brain put you down. Im sure you can do something for your life

>>25299148
That's awesome. Good work buddy.

>>25299154
I dont have any personal relationships. Im just a pretty girl without any man. That's the story. Nothing more or less. I'm not scared to have sex, I just haven't met the right man, which is unfortunate.

>>25299146
What's your prefered form of contact?

>>25299170
email haha

>>25299146
I used to have a Snapchat. I could get it back I suppose. I don't have a kik either.

>>25299176
no, you can get a snapchat. If you prefer to contact via snapchat, i can make one. I just want you ro promise you won't do anything irrational.

>>25299174
Please email me,if you want I can answer any questions you have about me.

>>25299165
Thanks alot man. I'll think on that.

>>25299181
would email work instead?

>>25299166
I'm serious, I considered suicide, I was so unhappy and in an immense amount of pain, I still have lots of pain and depression but helping others makes me feel a lot butter, it motivates me to self improve because I can't help others if I'm not okay myself.

>>25299177
create snap and Send your snapchat

>>25299177
I'm not going to do anything tonight. I want to get paid tomorrow so I can down a bottle of whiskey before I exit.

>>25299190
I believe you. I just... I don't know. I'm all out of will.

>>25299198
what color are your eyes?

>>25299198
Hope tomorow you will just down a bottle of whiskey :( I dont want a bro' with mental illness killing himself, we can beat our illness im sure we can and you can ! Just try to believe in you, you are not weak, you are strong, you got a hard childhood but you are still here a 28yo it's just a bad month / year try to fix some problem in your life before ending everything .

>>25299198
Tell me you'll consider it man, think about what you could want and achieve in life.

Thank you all a ton. You've been extremely nice to me.

>>25299225
>>25299225
hey! dont forget about me

>>25299225
:(....see no man wants me. Oh well..

>>25299233
Would you like to talk to me?

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>>25299205
I'm on the right. I don't care who sees me at this point.

>>25299170
>>25299174
That guy showed interest.

>>25299239
Maybe... I don't know... Thanks for this.

>>25299233
A guy who is currently planning on killing himself wouldn't want to contact you, if he is like I was, he wouldn't want you to get attched and get hurt.

>>25299209
I appreciate that man.

>>25299233
Create a kik or snap idk

smartpokemonthrowaway at gmail.com

>>25299257
This is my email, it is attached to my phone unlike my personal one.

>>25299228
You were included in that.

>>25299233
Have you ever posted in any of the regular contact threads?

>>25299306
i just wanted to love you...

>>25299233
hey im willing to talk to you snap me kool_aidboi -k

>>25299319
I was opened to talking to you.

>>25299319
honestly if you are down we can talk about anything (;

>>25299324
>>25299324
plz post your snapchat.

>>25299319
I replied and showed you my pic. I'm starting to think you're fucking with me.

Anyways thanks again everyone. I appreciate this opportunity to talk before I go. You guys made me feel less alone but I still think death is the best option for my self. Love to all of you.

>>25299330
Send your snap i add you

>>25298591
Hey Brandon,

I know I've come into this late, but I'm glad other people have helped. My name is Justin. I have manic depressive disorder, anxiety, and PTSD. I understand your pain, your hurt, you hopelessness, and desire for it all to stop. I've been on the ledge between death and life, and I'm glad I didn't die. I'm glad I found friends through my pain that have supported me and been my rock and salvation. These people helping you can be your new start in life. Sometimes just talking is the best medicine, I have found that out ten fold through my experiences in life. If you need somebody to talk to to help you calm down internally you can talk to me as well as the people on here offering you a hand. My email is [email protected]

>>25299335

excuse me? You are not a bad looking guy. You have nice eyes btw. i wish you all the best, okay
? I really hope you dont hurt yourself. idk why no one can do anything on here. How can someone post they will kill themselves on 4chan, without someone doing something? Honestly, this place in an abomination.

Sweetheart, if you want to talk, post some contact info. They are many resources online. I can post the suicide hotline for you. Please, dont hurt yourself. You are still so young...It's sad to see someone so depressed. Im even crying for you.

>>25299335
Don't go man :( But we cant do anything i guess. So have a good afterlife :( You will miss me probably i will think about you for life. Do you have a special song that you want to share before leaving this world ?

Trying to attract some attention here? Just like your father entering your room to get some attention from you when you were just a kid by threatening to kill himself?
The cycle repeats itself.
BTW, your father was a piece of shit for making it about him. He was your father and should take care of you. Children are not supposed to take care of their parents.

>>25299351
30 seconds to mars-fallen

>>25298893
So passive/aggressive I wanna vomit.

>>25299330
I left my email address up there, I don't have a snapchat if you message meI'll send you a picture and if we hit it off I'll delete stuff off my phone and make a snapchat.

>>25299335
Sorry man, I don't know what to say

>>25299348
add me dwikzz1

>>25299343
Hey Justin. Thank you for your reply. I'm Happy to know you are getting through your pain. I'm sorry for your suffering.

>>25299353
No, just wanted to get this out and talk before I die. Does it make you feel good to put ppl down?

>>25299319
kool_aidboi

>>25299365
Nothing to say. Thank you for talking to me buddy. Good luck.

>>25299389
I wish that I could help but I'm in no position to travel to where you are.

>>25299386
So you're from San Francisco? Why not walk down the beach there to clear your head when you feel down.

Oh, fuck.
I'm sad now.
It's not your fault, trust me, you don't deserve that.

>>25299386
Dad, stop the "I'm gonna kill myself" routine and go to bed. Life is tough, so suck it up and stop acting as if only you had problems.

To all the people in this thread trying to offer a complete stranger help and support, props to you. I hope you all collectively make a difference in this Anon's life and convince him not to end it tomorrow.

>>25298591
I was suicidal at one point too. Was going through health scares, a kv, college dropout, lived at home with my mom, etc.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, trust me

Do it faggot.

>>25299454
>>25299818
>>25299357
>>25299353
Why so negative Anons?

>>25299869
Im from /r9k/, i have nothing going for me.

Might as well take others down with me.

>>25298661
Vince pls, you have a lot to live for. I understand what you mean, but 22 a day is more than enough. Just ride it out and try to do some good.

I'd like to pass onto you some wisdom that was dropped onto me; ironically by someone from 4chan.

I feel any time you tell someone you're suicidal, there's basically a set amount of generic phrases that everyone will tell you.

"It will get better."
"You'll hurt people who care about you." (So you're guilt tripping a suicidal person? Thanks.)
"It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

All shitty sayings that don't have any real meaning, or help at all. But what this one anon said to me one day, was the one and only thing that has ever actually helped me feel better, and (so far) completely give up suicidal feelings.

Suicidal thoughts and the act of becoming suicidal is the most freeing thing in the world. Think about it.

You are headlong running into the most serious, most terrifying thing to every living thing on the planet. You aren't fearing the one thing you should fear the absolute most over anything (Or at least fearing it enough to NOT do it). And because you aren't afraid of the most terrifying thing in existence... what can REALLY scare you?

When you're seriously considering suicide, it opens the door to do. Literally. Anything. What's there to be afraid of?

Move to another country. Swim with sharks. Literally rob a bank. What's the worst that could happen? You'll fucking die? Big deal, you were going to do that anyway.

I'm not spouting you that generic bull shit of "Just follow your dreams and it'll all be better!"

No.

I'm saying that because you aren't worried about dying, it opens up doors in life that you would normally think are ridiculous and impossible. I wasn't exaggerating when I said you could literally rob a bank. It might sound like hyperbole at first, but if you're seriously considering suicide, what's the big deal? There isn't one. That's the thing.

It doesn't have to be something that society generally considers positive. You're about to kill yourself? Why not experiment with drugs?

1/2

>>25298591
Thanks for making me feel guilty about my friend's bipolar wife who I hit the other day and looks like she wants to die on facebook.

>>25299928

2/2

Preferably not something shitty like meth or crack, but why the fuck not do acid? Cocaine? What's the worst that can open? You overdose and die? Cool, you were gonna kill yourself anyway, it doesn't matter.

You can also just try stupid dangerous shit like skydiving or bungee jumping. You either have a shit ton of fun, or something goes wrong and you die. I mean, it's a win/win, right?

The way they put it, and the way I think of it, is: you're going to die either way. Regardless of if you want to live or not, you're GOING to die. It's guaranteed in the future, so even if you don't want to live, you're eventually going to get what you want anyway.

Because of that, why not treat life like a party? You're basically biding your time until you die anyway. You may as well do whatever you want and make it as much of a fun party as possible until then. You can literally live life like you're in a dream and do whatever the fuck you want.

Become incredibly selfish.

Stop caring about people. (And I don't mean that in the stupid sense where people always say "Don't care what other people think!" No. Actually think lesser of people who don't treat you well. Use them as pawns to get what you want.)

Worried people will think you're an asshole for being selfish? Fuck them, they don't understand how life works.

Basically what I'm saying is, you COULD kill yourself if you really want, but I see it as a waste of time. You're going to die eventually anyway. Really realize and accept that. There's a time bomb on your life. Because of that, live the most absurd fucking life you want, because nothing is worse than death, and you're not even letting that stop you. Why not party yourself to death instead? Sounds like a lot more fun to me with the same end result.

>>25299928
Because all of that involves prolonging life. Being "free" to do anything in life is useless when everything in life is equally meaningless and inferior to the release of death.

>>25299980
It's really not. It's not like all experiences in life are equal just because you perform them all during the act of being alive.

Browsing 4chan forums is not the same experience as jumping out of an airplane, doing drugs, and then having sex with prostitutes, while planning a bank heist.

Even just drugs alone literally alter your perception of reality and kind've alter what it is to be alive.

>>25299994
Temporary distractions with the added possibility of more intense suffering that can't be escaped easily by death (getting arrested and going to prison, being seriously injured and hospitalized, getting brain damage, etc). You can roll the dice to hope that hedonistic thrills are worth the pain of extended living and the threat of acute suffering, or you can not waste time and just check out.

>>25300025
In terms of getting arrested you could always just commit suicide if you do get caught, or go full on suicide by cop.

... You're not going to live if something goes wrong with any of the things I listed.

With the exception of drugs, which is why I personally haven't taken the leap to actually try them. But I would not rule them out if I did decide I was going to kill myself. I'm just saying it's an option; everyone is different.

You're just not getting it and I can just tell by your word choices that you take life way, way, way, way, WAAAAAAY too seriously, which is a big contributing factor to people becoming suicidal in the first place. Life is a fucking joke, relax.

Get drunk, smoke weed, have sex. Live to enjoy simple pleasures in life. Calling them hedonistic with a (probably) condescending tone doesn't make them any less valid of an option or any less enjoyable.

... Instead of going full-blown emo mode like you need some super deep meaning in life, with complex intricacies, because LIFE IS PAIN AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME ///_-\\

I've been there. I've had a knife to my wrists trying to force myself to do it, then pitying and hating myself when I was too much of a pussy to keep going through with it when the slightest bit of blood came.

I've sat at the side of a road trying to muster up the courage to just DO it and jump in front of a car, but ended up realizing that would never be the way I'd want to go as it's likely not guaranteed at all and would cause excruciating pain either way, but more importantly, I didn't want to traumatize some innocent person who is just driving home from work and make their life harder, when I already felt like my existence was a waste of time and resources that could / should be given to others.

But like, give me a break. "The pain of extended living?" The only people that should really be talking like that are people with chronic illnesses that are just causing 24/7 pain and misery.

>>25299973
Holy shit, you're right.

>>25300095
I would suggest that maybe you don't get it if you think depression can be universally cured by going on a bender. Plenty of depressed people get drunk, smoke weed, have sex, and still want to kill themselves. I'm glad you didn't go through with your suicide attempts and are able to find enough joy in fucking hookers and skydiving to make life worth living. But writing off people who have depression that makes them not want to do anything, even things they enjoy, as "emo" killjoys who are wrong is just childish. It's not "nobody understands me" to say that not everyone sees the world the same way or has the same reasons or symptoms of depression, and thinking that you've got life all figured out as a joke makes you sound like a teenager straight from /b/.

Also, you'd be surprised what people can survive.

>>25300272
Pretty much this.

>>25300286
I feel you, brother, and I'm obligated to say that there really are methods you can learn through therapy and meds other than the ones you're on or have already taken that can make your affect stable enough that you can find happiness and learn to carry the grief you're holding about your dad. There are thousands of people who live with bipolar disorder and still have happy, valued lives.

But I also know how dark it can get, and how the thought of things ever getting better seems impossible. I'm there now, and I don't really have an answer for that, and I think about suicide every day. So I understand that you still might do it, even if I hope you don't. But I hope you find relief in whatever you choose.

>tfw I usually help people like OP online because I value them more than myself
Figure I'll keep doing that for a while until I actually commit suicide or suddenly want to change. I'm a hypocrite, sure. But at least I mean well. Worst part is, I know exactly how to change, I just don't value myself enough to put in the effort.

>>25300416
I know the feeling. What are you going through?

>>25300426
Being so much of a fuckup that I can't even make food for myself. I don't even value myself enough to microwave taquitos or whatever.

Or if you mean medically, my diagnoses are major depressive, general anxiety, and minor PTSD. Which all individually have some symptom that makes them difficult to treat alone, on top of feeding into each other.

>>25299149


where are you from?

eminem tried to commit suicide back in the late 90s and failed
look where he is now
it'll get better anon

>>25299869
Once school ended for the day, the underaged edgelords came out to play.

>>25299928
Eh, while this might work for you, it misunderstands a lot of the core aspects of suicide and some of the things in the second half (hard drugs like coke, becoming selfish) are incredibly naive and unwise.

When people consider suicide, they've hit emotional rock bottom and usually don't have the energy to get up and do anything, which is a common trait of the depressive disorders that lead to suicidal thoughts.

Suicide usually isn't just a lack of fear of death, it's about death idealization. It's when someone feels like they're trapped in a deep pit that's only getting deeper and the only way to stop feeling like they're sinking is to die. Most people who contemplate suicide actually do still fear death, as indicated by how many people decide against it last minute, or who survived to regret their decision. A lot of people think they fear death, but don't once they're actually faced with dying because that fear is an instinctual response that you can't really turn off.

Platitudes like "It'll get better" and "permanent solution" are shit on their own (and yeah I agree that second one should never be said to a suicidal person), but if you accompany them with empathy and genuine attempts to listen and talk to the person and try to quell the beliefs that caused them to feel worthless or push them to get professional help, they can work. Most suicidal people just want to be listened to and understood. It's still all up to the person making the suicide statements though; people can only help themselves.

>>25298591
Second >>25298741
Brighter days are coming. Just give yourself the chance you deserve.
Just take a distance to your environment for a while to get new perspectives and you'll see new ways to go.

Just quiet thinking negatively.

Hoping you all the best, based Brandon.

>>25300527
I'd say I lack fear of death. Still have fear of pain, though, and the thought of being in a coma is fucking terrifying, because we don't actually know how it is from the inside.

>Platitudes like "It'll get better" and "permanent solution" are shit on their own (and yeah I agree that second one should never be said to a suicidal person),
I always laugh when I hear the second. "Permanent solution is kinda the point, yes. And if you'd like to call my whole life since about third grade temporary, then you have no understanding of how the human mind works."

>Most suicidal people just want to be listened to and understood. It's still all up to the person making the suicide statements though; people can only help themselves.
Ehh. I just want to die. It's pain mitigation at this point. I can only survive by avoiding reality literally as much of all day every day as I can. If I can't avoid thinking, my thoughts inevitably go dark, and I can't get out of bed.
But yeah, basically. I'm the only one who can help myself, and I've done a damn good job of convincing myself that I deserve this, would only fail if I tried, can't motivate myself to even try, etc. I'm the only one who can, and that's not really going to happen since the only thing I've put significant effort into in my entire life is keeping myself depressed.

>>25300440
I know the feeling. I wish I could help man. I hope you don't hurt yourself though.

>>25299330
Add Liatsidis on snap. I'm desperate for someone like you in my life.

>>25300585
Ehh. Already ended up in a hospital. Took pills. Rather not do anything that'll fail, so I only trust shotgun. And I'm too apathetic for positive, so I'm too apathetic for that as well.

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I won't pretend I know what you're going through dude, so I ain't going to talk you down from doing the deed. The least I can do is tell you the quickest and most painless way if you're dead set on doing this. At least you'll go without suffering.

You're going to want to get a .38 special and pic related. Wadcutters provide almost no recoil and will do as much damage up close as any other .38 round up close. Next to no chance of any accidents.

Aim the gun behind your ear, pressed against the slight dip on your head. If you can't feel for it, it should be around the center behind the ear. That general area will suffice. I highly suggest you take some sort of painkiller or a drug that puts you at ease and calms you. Getting cold feet at the last second can do worse than kill you.

I ask that you notify the police before you do it as well. Nobody wants to find a body three days old, you know?

I don't know if you're a religious man or not, but if you are; just tell me who you pray to. You seem like a decent guy all things considered and I'd like to put in a good word for you.

I wish you the best of luck OP. May whatever's on the other side be what you're looking for.

>>25299330
TFW the girl who acted super desperate never contacted you, I just wanted to make you feel wanted and loved and get to know you.

>>25298591
I know I'm late to this thread but I hope you got the help you needed. Love you.

>kill yourself
>after work
Why the heck do you go to work then

After going through truamatic experience after truamatic experience the stresses of life have finally done enough damage to truly scare the shit out of me I'm losing my mind memory and body and I just wish it would all go away and that I could just start over fresh but that's not how things work I just wish I could go into the woods and end it all but I clinge to this world and couldn't not live with the pain I put on my family even if they've been shit and brushed off my cries for help (not like they could really help but fuck me can't a man just get some fucking affection I'm probably the most sensasive child of my mother's but I'm a guy so Hur dur quit bitching and get to work... Kill me) idk where I'm really going with this and kindof forgot my point but bleh here's a vent

>>25301830
Routine I'd assume he doesn't want to make a day of it just something on the schedule

>>25300815
>Getting cold feet at the last second can do worse than kill you.
Why's that Everytime I try I get panic attacks and can't go through with it
Good old survival mechanisms :/

>>25298733
Snapchat info? Can't not want you if we don't know what you look like.

>>25301906
I just assumed it was to lower suspicion, something out of the ordinary like skipping work invites calls and "stopping by", can be problematic if you plan on killing yourself.

do feel this should be on /adv/ though. goodluck OP. Get some help if you can.

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>>25300494
He's an actor you never really know how some one is internally especially some one who's struggled for so long
Especially when they have a child

>>25301944
Yah that makes more sense

>>25299244
Ohh I thought you were the other Brandon. You look like a chill dude desu.
I'm a dude too but let me know if you wanna chat some

>>25298591
may I ask a few questions?
first, do you have a stable and good job to selfsustain yourself?
and do you still live with your mother and stepdad?

>>25302381
I have a stable but not good job. I don't live with them anymore.

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>tfw if I made a thread like this, no one would respond

I'm thinking about hanging myself, but haven't set a date yet. I don't have any workable solutions to my life problems and I'm tired of being in pain.

>>25302404
ok, are you at least able to selfsustain yourself

>>25302513
No

>>25302412
Why hanging?

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Getting there

>>25302985
hey...please dont do this! Please

>>25299928
>When you're seriously considering suicide, it opens the door to do. Literally. Anything.
>Literally rob a bank

Good idea anon. I think you should consider shooting up a K-6 school or raping a bunch of tween girls!

Like one wise anon once said:
>it opens up doors in life that you would normally think are ridiculous and impossible

>>25302985
I'll tell you what I think. Suicide are for pussies.

If you die now, you'll die as a pussy.

>>25298591
So is he dead yet?

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You could try talking to a professional instead of your faggot-ass ignorant family and anonymous idiots on the internet.

And nobody does anything noteworthy on this planet. We're all incorrigible faggots. Anything else is hero-worship and marketing.

Goal number one is to unfuck your brain chemistry. Seeing as you believe you have nothing to lose, you should put your best foot forward.

If it doesn't work, no harm no foul. Try something else.

I hope this logic makes you understand why this is the worst decision ever.

Oh, and one more thing:

Most suicide attempts end in utter failure and bodily mutilation. You wanna carry this weight around for the next few months, or the rest of your life? Because you *can* shake this weight. But if you try to off yourself, you gotta live with that forever.

Or at least drive down to mexico and do some blow and bang some hookers until you die.

>>25298733
LONDON??????


jk what I really mean is...

FLORIDA???????

To everybody in this thread who has expressed suicidal intentions, especially OP:

I love you all and urge you to struggle on a little longer. Suicide seems like the only option, an easy way out.

You might think that you are alone, that nobody will love you for long, but that is not true.

I love you.
I don't know you. I've never met you. I probably never will.
But I love you.

I'm a nobody, I know. But I want you to live.
Fight everything life throws at you; all the shit.
If an insignificant piece of trash like me can love you, someone else out there loves you ten times more, they just don't know it yet.

Please stay strong.
I love you.
I will always love you.

>>25298591
>Hey /soc/, I'm going to kill myself tomorrow after work.
Why? Why on earth would you go to work if you're planning to kill yourself?

I was pretty depressed and suicidal about my situation and who I was in general but there are moments of beauty in the world. The pain that everyone suffers to see that one moment or that one thing that gives you a genuine smile is worth it.

>>25303331
Nah, fuck that and fuck you

>>25303531
wish someone would fuck me.....

>>25303534
Wish that you would email me, I might fuck you, but I want to get to know you first.

>>25298943
>>25303534
I'm pretty much begging you now.

>>25302985
please dont do this man

So, is he dead or not?

>>25298994
found the existentialist

>>25302985
don't kill yourself
I tried to off myself but medics saved me
when in hospital I met a kid from a orphanage and we became friends
when they finally let me out I went on to work as a helper in this orphanage
It was wierd at first but those little kids helped me find new purpous in life I can only hope that I help them as well

you can still find happiness in life anon

if you don't know where to start looking take my advice and go help in your local orphanage

Remember: If you're going to shoot yourself, put the gun in your mouth and shoot straight towards the back of your head, not towards the top like in the pic related in OP.

>>25298591

You can turn this around. Write a kid's book where you turn your parents into wicked fairies that you escape from and report to a woodsman or wizard or something. Even if you think you can't write, kid's books don't need to be particularly good, and it could work as an abuse avoidance lesson. If nothing else, you'll learn something about writing, editing, and publishing which you can put on your resume. There's only upside.

>>25303097
>Seeing as you believe you have nothing to lose, you should put your best foot forward.

>If it doesn't work, no harm no foul. Try something else


>implying that's in any way, shape, or form remotely how a depressed person's brain operates

Anon, pls.

>ITT: meaningless people trying to convince on meaningless faggot to not kill themselves instead of just following suit and killing themselves too

>also OP has boring suicide lol

Anyone get OP's contact info to see what happened? See if he reconsidered last minute, or (since this happens a ton) failed?

I tried tracing him to Normiebook with that picture he posted earlier in the thread, but it doesn't appear to be in the page's individual albums and repeated attempts to scroll down their main gallery leads to it shitting the bed, and I couldn't find him in one of the past event guest lists either.

>>25298591
>after work
So dumb

>>25302985
What is that?

>>25298591
Try guided meditation please
You can find it on youtube or anywhere really
You need to be alone with your thoughts and learn how to overcome the feelings they bring

Promise me you'll do it

>>25299348
If you killed yourself in his place, I'd be really fucking happy.

You are despicable.

>>25298915
You're better than this.

>>25304716
yes this makes me think that he may be trolling....

>>25298591
Hey.
I'm sorry you have bipolar disorder.
I hope you feel better.

I don't live, I just exist.

I feel nothing.

I am just a shell. Everything is mundane and shit.

I cannot escape my situation because narcissistic family members completely sabotaged my life.