Thread replies: 7
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1
Hi /soc/ I'm seeking urgent relationship advice. Advice of any type, because I'm in a rough situation with my gf. Let me give the background.
>13 months ago, meet on Tinder
>talk for a month, meet up
>enjoy each other, more dates, end up banging
>agree to be totally exclusive with each other
>2-4 months in, dont know what comes over me but I look through her text messages while she's in the other room
>(I have been cheated on before)
>find out theres one guy that she was sexting, exchanging nudes with, etc, but not in a real relationship with this guy, right before we started dating
>unclear if they actually had sex or not, but I believe so because I saw one text saying something like "well, it was big enough to make me cum"
>feel really guilty about searching her phone and violating trust, feel like absolute shit but repress it and act normal
>like 1-2 weeks after our agreement to be exclusive, there are texts from him asking her for a booty call and her being like "just went exclusive, sorry", and him clearly being upset and still wanting to bang her
>week or two passes, play it cool while out at lunch and manage to bring up ex's, tell her about all mine, ask if she still hangs out with anybody she used to be involve with
>"oh, no, anon, I've only got a couple ex's and they're all far away."
>she actually brings up the guy, I casually go "ya know, I kind of feel like that guy fits your type. You definitely have a type. You never had anything with him?"
>"oh, absolutely not anon. That guy is kind of a douchebag. It's so funny you would think that."
>me: "haha, yeah, okay, just a gut feeling."
>she bold-faced lied to me IMHO.
>skip forward to last night
>we are on a walk, i havent checked her phone or anything like that for basically a year, she brings up guy again casually in passing
>emotions come back to me, remember i never really resolved the feeling of her lying to me and never told her i looked at her texts
TO BE CONTINUED BELOW...
>>
>>25275004
>sneakily check her phone again when she's out of the room
>just last month, a couple weeks after our one year anniversary, there are texts in the thread between her and the guy
>him: "hey, i've got the apartment to myself, want to come over and have some drinks?"
>gf: "yeah"
>him, another occasion: "hey, want to come hang out at my place? just got off work so no guarantee ill be nicely dressed/dressed"
>her: "same DESU. sure."
I don't know what to do, /soc/. On the one hand, I feel horrible for checking her phone. Yet it's also unclear if she's really cheating, though it really fucking strongly seems like some hazy shit is going on. It's certainly disrespectful of me to hang out with a guy you sexted and possibly fucked without letting me know and while drinking, alone, at his place, at night (and she gets really drunk easily, and very horny when she gets drunk). I don't even know how to approach this violation of my boundaries with her, because I'll have to admit I snooped. The worst part is I feel guilty about snooping, and I don't want to be that insecure guy who fucks up relationships, but MY GUT WAS FUCKING RIGHT TO SUSPECT SOMETHING. I'm so twisted up right now.
Any advice, /soc/?
>>
Bumping for advice.
>>
You already know you shouldn't snoop I don't have to tell you that. What I can tell you is it seems like you've got enough evidence to support the fact that she has been fooling around behind your back. What you should do is cut your losses and break up with this girl. Very calmly and coldly tell her the relationship is over. Fight every urge to reveal the fact you have snooped. The reason for this is preserving your reputation and maintaining inner strength. It won't help you to tell her how much you know you'll just look weak.The break up will never have closure on her end and may ignite new feelings of Desire
>>
>>25275104
This anon's idea seems pretty solid.
>>
>>25275108
>>25275104
Tyvm for the advice. Gf will be getting off work in a couple hours and she said she wanted to come over. I don't know if I want to have this conversation by text or face-to-face. It will be really hard.
The only thing I don't know is if I can really justify this without admitting that I looked at her phone. Because like we have never had a single fight before, really sweethearted relationship and all. Just this morning we had sex and I kissed her goodbye to work. So like it won't make any sense if I'm just like, all right, we're done, right out of the blue.
>>
>>25275116
Well you can man up to the fact that you snooped. You both fucked up, just come clean. Not like it matters if you're breaking up anyways
Thread posts: 7
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1