ITT: Late night confessions/vents/feels/ask/ramblin gs and chitchat/plus

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>>25270090
>>Confession: I used to slam speedballs religiously
>>Vent: I don't understand why everybody stares at me like I have eighteen fucking heads when I tell them I'm a conservative
>>Feel: I hate people, but I want a family. More than anything I want to be stay at home dad.
>>Ask: How many tattoos is too many? Most people I get to know say their first impression of me is that I was as likely to mug them as say hello.
>>Ramble and chat: Why isn't the matrix real yet, we all know humanity is the awkward prepubescent stage between man and machine
>>Add a question: why areb't you listening to pearl jam friend?

>Confession:
I have this older cousin who has always been a huge asshole to me and i really disliked her, especially as a teen. One time at this family gathering we do every year she took a plate of food that my family had saved for me since i arrived from work late, dropped it on the ground in front of me and literally stepped on it and walked away. She just said "whoops!" and walked off.

It was so little, but it was so unwarranted and such a ridiculously mean spirited joke that i just boiled over with rage. I remembered it for a year. Then the next year she missed the family gathering, and i was tasked with bringing her some leftovers. So I unwrapped them, spit on them a little, pissed on them a little, rewrapped, and then delivered them. Its been ten years, and i still have a hard time mustering up any regret for that one.

>Vent:
This stupid kid snores like an old man when she's sick and got allergies. if she would just take some medicine and some claritin or something so i can sleep, that would be fantastic. But noo, "i dont like medicine, I can't swallow pills". Roll it up in some fucking cheese and down it like a dog for all i care, i just want some damn sleeeeeeep

>Feel:
Uhh. i haven't had a real date in years. or a steady friend. it gets lonely being a...uh loner i guess. but i dont have the time or energy to change anything. at the end of the day, i dont have it in me to reach out and make the effort. sometimes that makes me feel ways about things.

>Ask:
Whats the longest gap youve ever had between relationships? At what point - if someone you were interested in was telling you - would the gap raise some questions? A year or two or three doesn't sound bad. I think after like 4 or 5 years though id start thinking like okay what the fuck was going on in that span.

>Ramble and chat:
Blah blah. Are yall dog people or cat people? I like dogs. More engaged companions i think, but i guess it depends on the breed.

>Add a question:
What's your worst habit?

>>25270109
Which speedball? The redbull plus whatever alcohol kind, or the white widow plus h kind?

Choose your audience better maybe? Who are you telling this to? Its probably safer to just not talk politics or political leanings these days.

Dont be a dad. dont have kids. this shit is hard and i got to skip ages 0-8 lol.

theres no number. its all about the style, theme, and cohesiveness of the tattoos

pearl jam is good but silence is better for me at 3am

>>25270109
It depends on what kind of tattoo and where it is?
As for pearl Jam, I got out of the habit of listening to music unless I'm in the car
Vent, maybe it's the tattoos that make people think you aren't conservative my dude.
Chat: I'm not ready for the matrix, I haven't even gotten comfortable with this plain of consciousness yet.

>>25270148
Feel: they have loner threads but I don't know if you want to posts there especially if you are female.
Ask:
I've never had a real real life relationship, it's not something I'm interested in, I haven't really decided what I'm going to tell potential partners I'm a 25 year old virgin,
Chat: i have dogs, but I used to have a cat I like both but have allergies.
Worst habit? I don't know, I don't take care of my health like I should. I don't think of it as being lazy but I can't just exercise for exercise's sake. Same thing with eating healthy that requires buying and cooking fresh stuff, so I guess being a lazy shit.

>Confession:
I spent my whole day laying in bed and now I've ordered a pizza when I should be on a cut and gone to gym.
>Vent:
Pissed off at being sick, nothing infuriates me more than not being able to do gym and my martial arts; Gotta miss the next week thanks to conjunctivitis
>Feel:
I'm realising I have extreme commitment issues. I want to have someone to love, care for and dote on, but I like my own time way too much and have hobbies and other commitments I can't justify relationship. I really just seem to want a FWB with emphasis on Friend
>Ask:
Best way to get over being sick ASAP?
>Ramble and chat:
I really excited for June, one of the guys I've been training since white belt is going for his blackbelt. It really means a lot to me because he's really my first "I've made him from the ground up" student.
>Add a question:
Best 3rd person game to waste a few hours to? I'm kinda in a slump after beating DOOM

>>25270148
>Ask
I'm in my current of 3yrs
>Ramble and Chat
Dog person, I grew up with several generations of German Shepherds.
>Worst Habit
I fell for the SIPBOY meme

>>25270211

Nah, i post there sometimes just to type.

I wouldn't worry about being a virgin too much man. There are plenty of ladies out there who im sure find it endearing

allergies suck. especially when they are someone elses allergies keeping you up untl 330

yeah man it takes so much time and ffort to cook really actually healthy meals.

>Confession:
I've been at my computer all fucking day.
>Vent:
Fucking double standards with the leftist fuckwits.
>Feel:
Never found a lover.
>Ask:
Favorite insult? (C-17 for me)
>Ramble and chat:
Any /pol/ browsers in thread?
>Add a question:
Favorite nation and why.

>>25270273
>Fav insult
Waffle Flapper
>Fav nation
Straya because patriotism

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>Confession:
>Vent: Within the past month and a half I started dating this girl that i've fallen head over heels for, She's beautiful but the most bratty immature insane princess i've ever met. I'm 27 and i've lived my entire life doing drugs, drinking, and running from cops. But this bitch is 18 and finally making me feel my age. In the time i've known her i've had my nose broken, gotten two black eyes, almost raped, kicked out of two campgrounds, one motel six, and have lived in a tent in the middle of nowhere until the tent was stolen, I was jumped by 6 gangsters...she beat the shit out of most of them with my own skateboard, She's totaled my car, and I took the blame got a DUI and went to Jail for the first time ever. I love her and we're engaged despite knowing her for a limited time. Her crazy matches my crazy, the only thing i'm worried about is that i'm getting too fucking old for this shit. I've actually been going to AA for the past two weeks and i'm going into Detox come monday, then sober living for a month. This bitch has put the fear of life in me.
>Feel: I feel like I won't be able to make this relationship last without either getting in real big trouble or dying.
>Ask: Should I have one last hoorah tomorrow before heading to detox. Just a bunch of liquor and maybe a bit of heroin?
>Ramble and chat: I just walked a mile to get a bag of hot cheetos with a bad sprained ankle and it hurts.
>Add a question: What's a good show or movie to watch, i'm ten days sober and I have no idea how to function or have fun or be happy without the distraction of intoxicants.

>>25270296
if you're going to AA already, and detox monday, stick with your choice and don't do anything before going in. if you're going to relapse, don't even fuck around and just stay using. it's a choice

>>25270259
I more meant about the no relationship thingy :p but thanks, good advice, and yeah the virgin thing won't matter for the right kind of person. I just dodge the virgin fetishist because that's gross also they'll probably lose interest quickly I contact people on there, I think I put my email this time but usually nobody wants to talk much really, sad, lame.
>>25270273
Favorite insult? TROGLODYTE/ Rube
Pol, not any more.
Favorite nation, does Texas count? Because my answer is Texas, because it's my glorious homeland, diverse, and beautiful.

>>25270296

Just get help.

Vent: even sugar babies can't pretend to be interested in me. They keep ghosting me, over and over and over. It doesn't matter how much of a connection I thought we had. Out of nowhere they will quit responding.

I'm fucking paying you precisely to avoid that. What the hell.

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>>25270273
>Fav nation
As much as the world hates us, I don't think I could ever turn my back on the states. Canada is tied due to family/proximity and laidbackness, but can be far too liberal at times.

>>25270296
>TV/Movie suggestion
If you want a distraction, try MTVs Sifl and Olly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQP2ZVfZ8DM&list=PLBE339CA100A496F1


>Confession:
I'm trying to water-fast to reset my hunger and control my obesity.
>Vent:
Why the fuck am I so burnt out and mad when I have life so easy?
>Feel:
Rested, but anxious about the the next seven days.
>Ask:
Hows the new Alien movie? Shit I guess? :(
>Ramble and chat:
E3 is not gonna have anything interesting for me again, just Death Stranding porn and some memes, no games I care about.
>Add a question:
What was the last GREAT orgasm you had?

>confession
My girlfriend (Japanese) of 3 months has absolutely no clue I've been a fluent Japanese speaker since long before we met.

I eavesdrop on her conversations with friends and family.

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>Confession:
I haven't had sex in 6 years.

>Vent:
I really hate the incompetent Indians who don't speak English that bought the 7-Eleven by my house.

>Feel:
The bartender hugged me on my birthday. That is the most human contact I've had in years.

>Ask:
Are there any Estonian women on this board? Just want to chat about life over there.

>Ramble and chat:
I am pissed they stopped importing Koskenkorva into America.

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>Confession:
I've been rocking back and forth, round and about whilist curled up like a mentally disturbed person for most of the day.
Also I've been listening to an audiobook I take little to no interest in for just as long.
>Vent:
I'm as fucking sick of loneliness as I'm sick of people. Is it so much to ask for fellow folk? decent individuals?? that one significant and dear soul???
>Feel:
Tired and anxious/restless, the latter makes it a bit uneasy to breath.
>Ask:
There are no anwsers for questions I know not ask anymore.
>Ramble and chat:
I have nothing to do, do not feel like drawing, nothing to play, tired of literature, nothing.
>Add a question:
Anyone interested in philosophy, metaphysics, occult and the likes?
If so, what or who do you find yourself fond of in particular?

>>25270423
Painful

>Confession
I haven't had a genuine rl friend in years
>Vent:
I'm so fucking tired of people being shitty and manipulative and dishonest
>Feel:
Alone mostly, a little worried.
>Ask:
How could I find a purpose
>Ramble and chat:
I hope everybody had a good weekend, I'm hoping to be able to go on vacation soon
>Add a question:
What's everybody's favorite food?

i took this linear algebra course in university for fun and now i regret it because these assignments are dumb

end rant

>>25272080
I'll add and talk to you senpai.
I'm into occult shit, spirituality, magick, rituals, deities/worship, etc. energy workings and all that. Paranormal experiences.
As for philosophy I can have a conversation about it, but I don't have any immediate things that come to mind.
Metaphysics I don't know too much about.

>>25270090
>Confession: Every time I drink I contemplate/think about suicide
>Vent: I don't know. It happens every time i get shit faced and I don't think I can stop. It follows me over to the next day and I still think about ending it.
>Feel: I've been feeling like this off and on for about 6 years now
>Ask: What do you guys thing about this?
>Ramble and chat: I've had therapy and meds, but the meds were shit and the therapy was ass.

>Confession:
i haven't made any new friends that i still talk to after high school. i've slowly drifted away from most of my high school friends and only see them about once a year. it's not something that consumes my thoughts, but it does bother me that i'm so okay with not having close friends i can talk to or hang out with.

>Vent:
i hate how much my work and the people i work with (management driven i'd guess) do things for the sake of just showing that we can do stuff instead of actually trying to better/improve something. E.g. "Everyone come up with innovation projects so we can show everyone else how innovative we are."

>Feel:
i'm ashamed that i'm not great at work even though i'm a native english speaker, went to a good university, and i'm not constantly under the pressure of trying to stay in the country (not on h1b visa since i'm a citizen).

>Ask:
how do you muster the initial attentiveness/curiosity that can keep conversation alive? i usually only think up questions i'm actually interested in much later or if we are forced to talk long enough (e.g. colleagues). otherwise everything is kind of scripted for me and the script ends after maybe the first 2 or 3 questions: "what is your job?" "how did you get into it?" "what are your hobbies?".
sometimes i even forget the script. a coworker might ask me how my weekend was and after i reply then the conversation ends instead of me asking him how his weekend was in turn.

>Ramble and chat:
i stopped watching anime after i noticed my reading speed had slowed down to the point that i was constantly pausing the video and jumping back a few seconds just to make sure i actually read the line.
i have slowly stopped playing games after i finally have enough money to buy multiple consoles, games, and a good PC. instead i mostly just hoard games when i see them on sale. i'm into fantasy novels that are way below my expected reading (and age) level.

>>25273797
That's kind of you.
Are you sure however?
No harm in trying unless we're from different sides of the world, I happen to be from Europe so that's that.

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>>25270090
>Confession:
I flirted pretty close to what I'd describe as full blown alcoholism about a year ago. I was going to get hurt or go to jail if the spiral had continued.
>Vent:
I'm mentally exhausted/stressed out from work and wedding planning.
>Feel:
I don't feel too much anymore. The above stressors are pushing me closer to depression, and the very nature of my profession makes me a sociopath. Shift work leaves me away from my wife for most of the week (she works a different shift) and I am struggling to find a constructive release. All I can manage to do is sleep and then spend all weekend keeping the house in order, running errands, fixing broken stuff, etc.
>Ask:
Any workout tips? I've never had to really work to stay in shape. I'm active everyday I don't have other things to do, but my metabolism has tanked. (mid 20's problems) I have an iffy knee so I try to stay off of it, but still do cardio. I've been doing cross fit with a couple friends of mine, but I'll be missing that for a month or two. I've been pretty heavy on the rows/wallballs/box jumps/squat thrusters/little jump rope. Any other low impact cardio recommendations?
>Ramble and chat:
/k/ is my de facto home board. I'm probably gonna try to go shooting in a few hours. I'm already awake, may as well. Music recommendation: Look up The Sword. Earlier stuff is heavy, a bit thrashy, progresses to what I describe as being very black sabbath, and the newest record is some of the best stoner rock I've listened too.
>Add a question:
I'm military. Is there any other military here?

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>>25273856
>Vent:
My fucking god. This shit. I feel you, anon.
>Feel:
Where are you from?

>>25272080
>The question
I've had an unfulfilled interest in the occult for some time. I used to have fairly regular experiences at my parents house as a kid. Several of which were phenomena witnessed by multiple people simultaneously in broad daylight. I thought I had identified three separate entities. Two malevolent "shadow people," for lack of a better term, and one that I would say was a much younger spirit. I always wanted to say it was a her, and she would only ever want attention or acknowledgement. Maybe I'm a bit of an empath, I could feel the energy and the hate the manifested in the shadow people. When I was a kid, the feeling was overwhelming when one was near. You could feel them. I only thought there was one for the longest time. When I was about 20 I saw them both together, as separate beings. They were whispering to each other. I remember the sound. It sounded like the wind had voices on it. They noticed that I had noticed them, and promptly departed. The older I got, the less effect they had on me. The last year I was there, the activity had became very rare, in the house anyway. The property around the house was a different story. It isn't a place I liked to be a night, and I've never felt that way about anywhere else really. I'd seen shadows cast by figures that weren't there, orbs, you always felt something watching you. Unexplained sounds too. Shit was weird.

Anyway, yeah, it all made me interested in the occult. I never researched or looked into it though. Small town midwest - it was pretty taboo when everyone is southern baptist.

>Confession: I have emotionless sex with a couple going on 3 years
>Vent: Nothing to vent today
>Feel: Tried to get a gf a couple months ago, ended up getting with a friend just before I was going to ask her out. Fuck that shit
>Ask: A different girl keeps on talking to be, but she rejected me last year. Why the fuck is she still talking to me

>>25274468
I'm former army >>25274525

>>25274525
>Ask:
Forget her man, she's chasing something else. You're probably the plan b. Nothing against you, of course. If you aren't her first choice forget her, because you'll likely just be a placeholder in the long run, and if you wanted someone to fuck, it sounds like you have it covered for now.

>>25274526
Were you glad to get out? When did the heavens grace you with that beautiful DD214?

>>25274539
Yes, I was in deep depression at the time and got out after multiple suicide attempts. Of course, getting out didn't really help the depression part.
Went in for UAV and was on hold for over a year and couldn't get off base because I was still in training
DD214 is given to you as you do all your paperwork to get out

>>25274542
That's rough man. What base were you at? I'm air force intel, so I went through similar things during training. It wasn't that rough though. We could leave during training if we hadn't lost that privilege for stupid shit. I would have lost my fucking mind had I been stuck on goodfellow for training plus a one year hold. I became acquainted with some army sigint people who were in training there. They had it rough. I got shitfaced every weekend, they had to get up for formation and pt.

Don't feel bad about that man. I don't understand, but I feel like I can get closer than most people. You went through a very special kind of hell that's very difficult to understand until you are living it. It's soul crushing. Don't give up. Keep trucking.

>>25274563
Oh that was like 6-7 years ago. Now I'm in college and shit.
I was at Ft. Huachuca

>>25274566
That's good to hear. I was about to start working on my BS again. The wife's grad school is sucking up the cash though. She's almost done. What are you studying.

>>25274571
Nursing. Finishing pre-reqs this summer for the program in the Fall

>>25274431
I don't see why not. If I don't like you or it doesn't go well we can just part ways. I'm from the U.S. so that's not a problem.

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>>25274574
I couldn't ever manage that. I despise hospitals for some reason. They creep me out. I'm a math nerd - imagine that, lol. I have like 25 credits towards a math degree from my first go around a college. But I ran out of money real fucking fast. Hopefully this go is successful.

I'm in love with a much older man and I don't think he truly loves me back :(

1(415)8543233

>>25274583
Frankly, US timezones prove exactly problematic, thus brought up concerns with time differance..
Thank you kindly nontheless.

>>25274606
Oh, I misread I thought you said you were from europe and wanted different time zones.
Oh well, that's up to you senpai. Why, are you a night owl?

>>25274654
Uh, yeah I do am from Europe, however not keen on big time differances.
Either way, as for night owling.. not really, Im usually off by midnight already, thus also the problem, from experience I know that it often takes staying up late and/or waking up early to keep in touch. It's always a shame having little opportunity to share whiles, especially when you end up liking the person.

>>25274804
I usually get up in the mornings, but whatever suits you. Good luck on your search. I just kinda see it as there's no harm in trying, right? Oh well. As I said, good luck.

>>25274509
California. work in tech; it's an extremely first world problem. Just don't have the drive to study after I getting home from work. Have been telling myself I should be taking online courses for a little over 4 years.

>Confession: My obsession with politics has severely altered the way I think and I fear it's interfering with my social life. I generally don't speak about politics in public but I'll discuss when the conversation gets to that on occasion.
>Vent: I despise people who don't tip those in service positions that are dependent on tips. I'm an auto detailer, and every time someone doesn't tip me I want to lift up the mats in their car and piss on them.
>Feel: I haven't had a gf in a while, and the last couple of attempts have been plagued by meddling coworkers or my own mistakes.
>Ask: This girl I'd met and gone to a few parties with hung out with me around a month ago. It was real spur of the moment, at like 10:30 PM. She came over and we hung out in my pool for a little bit before I took her home. I tried to get close to her as much as possible but she didn't seem to be into it and kept a friendly distance. After that she kind of stopped talking to me but we remained cordial. Just this last week I responded to a tweet of hers and she texted me and we made plans to hang out, but she flaked out on me. What do I do here lads? I've always been bad with this and I feel like I'm getting a ton of mixed signals.

>>25276863
I feel like I need to add to this post that after the first few tries to get closer and her casually spacing out, I just let it lie and didn't try further.

>>25274509
Which kind of Southern Baptist? The kind that says that's literally Satan dicking with you? Or the kind that for some reason doesn't believe in the supernatural unless it was thousands of years ago.
I was raised with the forces of good and evil, pray the ghosts away kind.

>>25277910
The former. It wasn't just the heavy faith pray it all away sort of baptist. It was a little more fanatical. Very much holier-than-thou, rock and roll is satan, gays are satan, obama is the anti-christ, bible quoting in school reports type that responded to any sort of awry behavior with social excommunication. There was some klan presence in town too, that presumably would harass people on occasion. The town would wake up to KKK leaflets a few times/year. There were only three churches in town and they all pulled this crap. I was never personally religious, but, I was raised around it. I left town 2 hours after I graduated high school and never came back other than to visit the parents. My sister left right after she graduated too, followed by my parents. That place isn't healthy.

>>25270090
>Confession: I dunno, i make lots of mistakes
>Vent: really annoyed with so many situations right now. So fucking tired. Sleep doesn't heal the exhaustion I feel. Really close to running away from everyone.
>Feel: ^ stressed and annoyed. Also pretty happy. Really hard being this mixed up all the time.
>Ask: what was your favorite book as a child?
>Ramble and chat: um hey hi what's happening doods
>Add a question: am I supposed to be asking this many questions?

For anyone who would like to vent to a random person and ask opinions, Kik me. HoshinoMiki

I hate everything about myself. I hate the ground I walk on. Every breath I take is filled with self loathing and with every beat of my heart I grow tired of its tempo existing.
I grew up in an abusive home. I've been told I was a nobody since I was 10. I've been told I should hang myself. I had my first panic attack at 16. I had these attacks every day, all day, until I was 19. I would pass out several times a week from the sheer number of fear induced episodes. I'm 23 now, and still heavily depressed. Still living with my mom, still working a shit minimum wage job. Still suicidal, but I'll never actually ever hurt myself. I've worked too hard to give up my life now. I'll probably never have a relationship, and that's the only thing in this life that I want. I want to be a father someday. I couldn't give a shit about having a big house or fancy cars. I don't know what to do. I don't have a will to do anything. Every day I'll take my antidepressant (which prevents my panic and anxiety by a large margin) and just sit at my desk reminiscing upon some high school memories.

I hate myself for hating myself. I need a life.