Hi guys. I'm going to be very blunt with you people. I'm

>>24916477
are you on medication?

I don't live near MA.

Maybe you could meet with Sam Hyde?

Jokes aside, I think you need to switch shrinks.

What's wrong?

what is/are the roots of your suicidal thoughts?

In a similar situation but not suicidal anymore and in CA sadly good luck w the search tho bud

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Bumping this thread because I'm lonely and want friends. In case you're still here OP, where are you going to school?

>>24916477
I haven't gotten mental health care their, but you should make an appointment at fenway health. Good people, they deal with all kinds of stuff. But i think the shrink appointments you gotta book pretty far out.

>>24916477
In the meantime, focus on things you like to do. I like to think of life as following the rule of entropy. It is inherently cold and depressing, and requires you to make active effort continuously to improve it by doing things you like. There is no solid state of contentment, only a series of things you've done that make you feel good.

They're playing Amelie at the brattle today, go see it.

>>24916477
And start the process of cutting yourself off from your parents. Gain financial stability (which will take time), care for yourself. If you're afraid that they'll punish you for being suicidal, they're obviously not a positive part of your life.

>>24917599
>Gain financial stability (which will take time)

and find the joy in doing so. Watch the number slowly grow and nurture your financial health-- it will help take your mind off the depressing parts.

You need to reach out to a mental health facility-- doctor or other professionals you can chat with. They should keep your conversations private as per health law practices.

Good luck brother/sister :)

Is the uni in the east area? I might be able to get a proper person to help you out then.

>>24917569

I'm going to school at Western New England University.

>>24918148

No, sadly. I'm going to school in Western Mass.

>>24916628

No, not yet. Honestly I'm scared to go on medication. If I could get a hold of marijuana my mental health would be so, so much better.

>>24916693
>>24916715

What's causing me to be this way is a combination of family issues that are due to my relationship with my mom; friend issues because all my friends have some sort of depression/learning disability like me; and just feeling like a fucking loser at my new school.

I want to learn how to drive, to cook, and to be more independent but most people had their parents help them with that when they were a young teen. I didn't. My mom was too busy with work and because of my autism I do require a bit of assistance at getting started on something. I've thought about maybe going to a transitional school but the kids who go there are usually huge druggies and have serious behavioral problems. I really don't. I'm just very sad and depressed. :(

I live by Springfield.

I'll find a good mental Heath councillor for you. I have a list at work of a few I know people have used.

Kik me: dynex5532

In the meantime tomorrow go to West side and get white hut. Hotdogs so good you'll wanna live forever. Then go to the Springfield at museum. Get a Library card and it's cheaper.

Or do one of the other million things to do in the area.

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Also, weed is legal to possess. It's wicked easy to get. Try Wellbutrin for meds.

And let me know what you have for a kitchen, and I'll tell ya how to cook good food cheap (I actually have a 4lb steak marinading now).

>>24918318
Opening disclaimer: Not a doctor. Don't take my word on anything, but feel free to research stuff and come to your own conclusions.

Now then, you can get weed easily enough on the darknet. Google it. Deepdotweb is a good source for links and various info. And yeah, I would be weary of most mental health medications. Nasty shit. Low dose ketamine works better, faster, and longer with fewer side effects than any currently approved medication for depression, to the best of my knowledge. Works by actually "explosively" reversing the atrophy of the brain that causes or is caused by depression, and a single low dose (just above threshold levels if I remember correct) will give you between 1 and 2 weeks without depression.

But ketamine, or any other antidepressant will only affect the brain's chemical and physical response to the situational/mental factors that led to the depression, and won't change the situation that you can't seem to find any way to deal with, or your outlook.

And that's where SHROOMS! come in. Or ayahuasca. Kind of like weed in the sense that you can see and understand things from different perspectives, only the effect is much more profound than weed. You also see the world around you as you never have before, all the details you never noticed. Everything is fascinating beyond belief. It's hard to be depressed after you've seen stuff like that, but the real long term help comes from being able to identify your emotions and feelings and consciously understand what is behind them. From there that whole seeing the world with all the details you never saw before thing takes over and you can pick the whole problem situation apart and really untangle all the confusion and preconceptions you hold subconsciously that are binding your hands in the situation(s) in question. In the end, you understand the problem, have worked out a solution, and have a new appreciation for the world around you and for the magic of fungi.

>>24918893

Dude I can't tell you how much I love drugs. I want friends like you who can teach me this shit. I would give anything to find a great group of people who could show me the realm of opening your mind to psychoactive drugs.

Where are you from btw?

>>24918318
Definitely been down that road - college was not so fun for me.

I'd say teach yourself all that shit m8. It sucks that you didn't have much help growing up, but trial and error might be the way to go. As for your friends, if they're depressed all the time, it's definitely not good for your well being. Since you're still at school, why don't you seek out a club or something, with people that share mutual interests (that aren't miserable)?

i'm in canada so not sure how things work in the states, but i went to the hospital on tuesday because i was suicidal. it's been the best thing for me in terms of getting treatment. there's no reason anyone in your life needs to know what you're going through.

it did however fuck up my employment situation so now i'm likely going to be seeking legal action against my employer

>>24918929

I am trying to teach myself this shit. But between trying to deal with HW, classes, and every-thing else on my plate it's been rough.

Honestly dude, I think suicide is looking like more of a better option for me. I really see no way I can get myself out of this hellhole.

hi Springfield bro, ready for the snow tomorrow?

>>24918939

Not really desu lol

But idk I kinda like snow. What part of Springfield are you from? Do you attend any colleges here?

>>24918944
Not in university yet, in East Springfield

This video explains everything https://youtu.be/FcZCZkekxxg

>>24918983

Alright. I go to Western New England University. Do you know anything about that school?

>>24919020
I know of it, pretty much it