>Tfw charisma + looks + female >People like me but get

>>>/adv/

>>24869118
Post kik if u wanna talk?

>>24869118

So misanthropy general?

>tfw not sure if God or Beast

>>24869154

it's not misanthropy, it's nothing but alienation

>>24869118
Find common interests and hobbies. Uni is all about that. Yes there's a vast pool of people but u get to choose who u talk to.

>>24869162

Because you dont connect? Or because you cannot stand to be around others?

>>24869167
I have met so many fucking people and in that obviously I have met people who share interests and hobbies. There is little to both of you liking fucking stone necklace making when you don't understand the person otherwise. Connecting over hobbies is bullshit unless you're a 'give me anyone and I'll adore them' normie.

>>24869171
connect

>go to party / shitty university bar
>approach random guy
>fuck his brains out
Virginity problem solved

>>24869184
We'll u gotta work up to understanding people. U can't just automatically ask someone how they feel and see the world. U gotta start with little normie stuff and if it goes nowhere try again with someone else.

>>24869184
Understanding someone deeply takes YEARS sometimes

>>24869184

Then dont worry about making a connection. If it happens it happens. If it doesnt than so be it. Most people are blah anyways. Either boring or bored and neither make for good connections.

If your goal is to connect with others then you have to open up and be ready for their what ever. Some people have a lot of drama and others do not. People are different.

If you just want friends, that is tougher.

>>24869191

That's like assuming I'm retard 101 advice man. I am saying I understand people and I do get to understand people, they don't understand me. I also understand that the people that I understand, aren't people I would want to be close to me and aren't people that would understand me. I want someone more similar to me because I feel very very very different. If you can follow that.

>>24869202
Well megalomaniac psychopaths are pretty rare so I can see your problem :)

>>24869202

Have you tried the Ideal Mate Thread?

>>24869118
I relate to you. I am in a very similar situation.

Life has become mundane to me. Nothing interests me anymore. People are boring and I have cut ties with all of my former friends. There was a time in my life where I felt obligated to be social, to engage, make friends. Now I find myself distressed by small talk and feel very much alienated by everyone I am surrounded by.

I think we are pressured to be social. There was a time in my life where I felt as if I was obligated to interact, engage, and befriend as many people as I possibly could. People gravitated to me because I am "attractive", "kindly" and "charismatic", and now that I've taken off the mask many of my former "friends" have confronted me because they are afraid I no longer like them, judge them, etc. So it goes with insecurity. We never liked them in the first place. We were filling a void we were taught to fill by our society.

When you are smarter than most people, it is hard to relate to them. I have found only one person I enjoy talking to, but I find that even with him I grow bored and will go cold on him for a week before engaging again. He does not understand and it hurts him.

I do not know how to fix this. I believe it stems from being hurt in childhood, but the case may be different for yourself. My only advice is to find peace with yourself and understand that it is ok not to be social or engaging. It is exhausting when you force yourself to be.

Do you have anything that makes you feel fulfilled?
What do you fill your day with to keep busy?

>>24869200
>If your goal is to connect with others then you have to open up and be ready for their what ever.

I am.

You're all getting the wrong idea. This has been my whole life, I know how to make friends and make friends easily and I understand people and that people aren't always 'A+ serve your every want and need 300% compatible with you'. I keep friends throughout that and I take people for what they are person by person. I respect that. I just still feel different.

>>24869214
Have tried, I think it's too empty of a thing to begin with and people don't really know what they want in an ideal mate. Someone with one perfect characteristic and 50 others you haven't even thought of comes up and their your soul mate. Not your weird 'I've sat for hours thinking about this' ideal on paper.

>>24869213
You're like this sad 30iq fuck trying to walk around and bumping into walls.

>>24869216

There is nothing wrong with feeling different. Finding someone who understands that depends on how well you open to them.

>>24869236

It is a fairly shallow thread but it is a start. If anything it shows you more about you and what you want. Do you date? A lot? Maybe you just dont know what you really want from people?

>>24869202
>I understand people
>they don't understand me
>I'm different

Maybe you just suck at communicating?

>you: I feel X because Y
>someone else: that's silly
>you: nobody gets me!

Proper response:

>you: I feel X because Y
>someone else: that's silly
>you: let me elaborate about Y. I experienced Z in the past. There's also A, B, and C to consider.
>someone else: well I don't agree with you but I understand why you might feel that way
>you: that's cool

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I also think it will be very difficult to find many people who relate to you here, on /soc/. Many people are here because they do not have ample social opportunities in "real life"-- and not by choice, either. A self-disconnected person is threatening to them. Hence some of the replies on this thread.

>>24869215

I never felt obligated to be social but I've always felt super super yearning for social connection. I've never genuinely had it and spent years building this idea of it up. I have had close friends that I've had great times with but it's exactly like you said, I never liked them as people.

The mask thing is something a lot of people talk about and I don't have that. My coping mechanism through all of this was to build up whatever sense of narcissism and I end up entertaining myself throughout conversation. I am the person I present as immediately and person people like immediately but then they can tell I don't like them as much as they like me and they go into stuff like this guy >>24869213

I get exhausted not by being social but by being hyper fucking aware of how little people understand what I'm saying through every interaction I'm having with them. Finding peace with this idea that I'm different in whatever X way and that I should just come to terms with it, would be ideal if I could, because the idea is I feel cheated of something other people have and if I didn't have the expectation of it the bad feelings would ease. But I haven't been able to settle on that, because there's always the like 2% chance that I might find super happiness.

I used to do a lot of things when I was younger, but skip from thing to thing, from interest to interest. That made me fulfilled at the time but lost that for now through depression. Day to day I've been doing very very little, googling things and playing games.

>>24869237
No one knows exactly what they're going to find attractive in a person or what would suit them ideally. People just hypothesise. I do not date because I haven't found I've wanted to date. There is nothing wrong with feeling different but feeling completely unable to connect to other people through being too different is my point. Why is it a shallow thread anon?

>>24869263
You genuinely didn't understand what I meant. That is not me sucking at communication. My problem isn't that I'm unable to understand other people. That was your response. That was not my point. I don't agree with you because you're talking about something irrelevant of what I'm talking about and why then would I say "that's cool"

that's fine anon. that's cool.

>>24869270
>My coping mechanism through all of this was to build up whatever sense of narcissism and I end up entertaining myself throughout conversation.
I get this completely.
> I feel cheated of something other people have and if I didn't have the expectation of it the bad feelings would ease.
I feel this way when it comes to romance. I yearn for a romantic connection, but I do not feel romantically connected to anyone I have met. Love is idealized, isn't it? Just like what you said in reference to the "Ideal Mate Thread". I have been told to "lower my standards" or "settle"-- but how can we force ourselves to give so much into something so meaningless to us? I do not understand how people jump from person to person. Filling their lives with meaningless relationships and wondering why they feel so empty at the end of the day.

I do not believe you are a psychopath. I do not think I am one, either, but my interaction with people has become largely funneled into a sense of "what can they offer me".

I suppose it is human nature, though. We may just understand ourselves and others more than the majority of people.

Do you like to read at all? I find that learning and reading have become a very good outlet for taking up time.

>>24869237
*I haven't found someone I've wanted to date.

>>24869290

It is shallow because /soc/ is shallow. The board is about sex and rates, not deeper connections. The IMT is better for figuring out yourself and what you want rather than finding someone who matches, even if such a person exists.

You can find what you want, it just takes time dating people. It took me several long term relations to figure out what I wanted. Sure it gives you impossible standards but you balance that with your desire for connection. No one is perfect after all.

>>24869301

'What they can offer me' has been the only thing for me for a very very long time, but in doing that I'm overly conscious of not being able to enjoy people entirely or in any relaxed natural way, but that this person can give me entertainment in this way and that person can be the one that's nice to me and it's all segmented bullshit, but severely so.

We do understand ourselves way way more than the average person, but people in not understanding, read into that as empty words and statements and as trying to build yourself up in whatever egotistical way.

In that people initially assume other people are like them unless proven otherwise, and think like them and would do said thing for the same reasons they would, I constantly fall upon that bullshit with people who are vague enough or quiet or unspecific enough. I get attached to this idea that I might get along with them or they might be like me and everything's seen through this ridiculous gut emotional reaction. A lot of people do this but I fucking despise this because it's the only thing that makes searching for this idea of connection last.

I used to read a lot, non fiction reading, but it's died out along with doing everything else and I've been thinking day to day about how to ease back into at least the little things that made me feel okay, like reading and like picking up little hobbies to make something with them or get to whatever goal or end with them and then switch to something else.

Are you male or female anon?

>>24869316

MY post is shallow because /soc/ is shallow. IMT IS GOD. You're all animals haha

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>>24869290
>You genuinely didn't understand what I meant. That is not me sucking at communication.

Communication takes effort from two parties.

If you think that the problem is on someone else's end consider this: the only common denominator in all your interactions is you.

Food for thought anyway. Best of luck to you.

>>24869345

I am smarter than you and you can't tell.

>>24869118

Do you feel like everyone around you is living like on a autopilot in a linear fashion which means that after sometime everything they do, say, think is predictable ?
In some way this make them boring, stale.
It makes you wonder if they still think, like you do.
Youre not on even intellectual ground so there is no way for something meaningfull. Obviously they can be friends but no more than that.

>>24869264

I didn't see this. The not having opportunities in real life and not by choice is exactly why I'm feeling 4chan out though obviously. Some small percentage of these people or at least one or two people who have stepped foot on this domain haha dont have opportunities in my specific way.

>>24869419

This is it sure, but at the same time I'm in awe with not having found at least one or two people that I don't feel this way with. People also look for signs of intelligence like young success or world inventions ridiculous niche shit like that. That's usually the like 3 thought process to assessing a persons intelligence, as opposed to what's true with intelligent people being nothing but different from other people and often traumatised by it + success always being drawn from niche interests in specific people, whether someone's smart or dumb.

What about you anon, you obviously feel that way haha. Tell your story of woe.

>>24869184
Wow

>>24869466
Wow what?

OP, this isn't to insult you but I'm curious.

Do you feel at times when you talk to someone that a lot of the time the conversations or topics are just sort of empty.

like talking for the sake of talking rather than without any meaning or actual interest behind it?

>>24869463
I have a small group of friends, mostly because I had to make them, blend in.I'm 22 and my parents migrated to 10 years ago so i knew nobody.
That group stayed the same for 10 y.
Better being bored than being alone and bored.
The most important thing is that I found somebody which i consider lets say "non linear"
, out of schemes. In a way trying to get her drives me forward. Now shes in Erasmus so i dont go out often and study for exams/lurk 4ch.

>>24869118
Nobody cares irl if you're a virgin or not. Get off of 4chan for awhile and you'll instantly feel better.

>>24869518
to italy
>>24869503
Small talk is always empty

>>24869503

Asking anything at all won't insult me, it's all good. Sometimes I feel that way and sometimes I don't depending on who I'm talking to and whatever other circumstances. But I can have interesting conversation with people as long as it's about detached topical things.

>>24869524

That's not the point anon, just because you're obsessed with virginity and pick out that one fucking word from my whole post doesn't mean that's my problem of all things.

>>24869503

and this exactly >>24869526 it depends on what you mean by the question. If you mean small talk then yes, but I get past small talk with almost everyone.

>>24869527
okay thats good to hear then.

could you maybe just elaborate a bit on the whole people not understanding you then.

is it in regards to a topic or how you act in general or your view on the world?

not to be a broken record but about the depression honestly get it treated really, it will cause damage and its like living your life on 25%, that constant greyness and just meh feeling is awful.

like you get high buzz moments too which are amazing but get it treated.

>>24869544

General view of the world down to the smallest things

Talking about depression isn't being a broken record, it's fair and even if it's said 500 times it's still something people don't pick up on sometimes. I'm working on it and super 2000% aware of everything that's shit that's actually just depression

The world view and how I interpret things would have to be explained thing by thing and we'd have to talk for a few days for you to understand

>>24869530
Its soc, what did you expect? A flock of people who don't think with their dicks?

>>24869565
do you think your worldview is more cynical or more honest/truthful

yeah depression can fuck you up, I've had mine for about 10 years and still havent really got it treated, I've almost lived more of my life being depressed than not.

its stange to aimagine other people just dont have that issue, I have a hangup of where if i get it treated it sort of makes it real but as it is now its just my issue no one elses.

I dont think youd have the patience to talk to a anon for a few days.

if you could give me any idea at all say even for some minor topic for your world view.

>>24869570

I expected but still irritated and expected to expect but still be irritated, so it's all really been covered haha

>>24869575

I would completely have the patience to talk to someone for a few days and expressing one world view is empty because I can't think of one in particular that would illuminate me as a person right now

My world view is definitely at some points bullshit cynical but I push back into honest truthful for my given context all the time. With that, there is no inherent honest/truthful but I go from angry to logical emotionally detached enough to be mature about things, but you're right that depression can cloud that, but given that I am depressed I do well with it.

>>24869589
Well i'd find it interesting to chat about , but desu its gonna just seem like I'm a thristy anon so its proably better to leave it as it is.

I'm glad you are self aware about the depression though, I'd say I might have a similar pov and its super odd how I can give advice but for the same topic but directed at me I'd brush it off.

just at times being cynical or harsh or neagtive whatever it is, its a hell of that easier to get stuck in that mindset.

you wont really find anyone that will understand you for everything but its better to at least have some form of friends or someone so its bit more bearable.

just someone or someones helps make it a little easier even if its still shitty 95% of the time.

>>24869608

How old are you anon, and do you have friends to ease how you feel?

>>24869660
I'm 25 so pretty old for sock, answering honestly I'd say I do have friends but its mostly just like workmates people you chat to and thats it.

none outside of work, I also have a hangup about it where I don't really see myself as deserving as having any friends and it becomes self fullfilling then.

getting better though I think.

it doesnt really ease it either its more like a distraction or a break from being stuck in your head.

>>24869675

haha I don't think 25 is old for soc. I've never been self defeatist depressed, is there anyone you're looking for on soc? your ideal soc find?

I've had people ease it to slight degrees but yeah if you don't have close friends then it is a distraction

>>24869694
I'd try and not say I'm self defeatist just I'm accepting my situation but being lazy to not really change it for the better.

Not really looking for anyone at all, maybe the odd anon for similar tastes and recommendations for things like books, films or music.

wouldnt have a ideal thats for sure lol

well the distraction helps a good bunch at times.

whats your ideal soc find?

>>24869713

I meant self defeatist with the emotionally believing you don't deserve friends

My ideal soc find is the male version of me haha, who I can share anything and everything with and fall in love with, or someone who can genuinely give me insight into myself in whatever respect

>>24869731
I don't see that as self defeatist, I'd see that as being the truth for now.

I can understand it being odd to say and im aware a big part of it is the depression making me think this but its just makes the correct opinion.

that seems like a tough catch to find someone to match up like yourself.

Love isn't even on the horizon for me , I need to better myself and imporve myself and then I'd feel like I have something to offer, not be worthy of someone like entitled but able to bring something.

>>24869742

Why would it be true that you don't deserve friends?

That typed up thing is a tough match because it's the dream hypothetical ideal obviously haha

>>24869748
if we are going for dreams then the idea of having someone I could care for in return and force me out of my shell.

but thats getting too manic pixie dream girl like

I'd say a mix of not feeling worthy or always being in bad moods and hiding in, its tough to put into words.

just when I think about it, its makes more sense that having some.

>>24869759

you're totally self defeatist. It's not good

>>24869779
I don't think I am just realistic.

Im aware im in a bad mindset just its hard to get out of that when its been the norm for so long.

im fine really dont worry

>>24869790

But what the bad mindset actually is anon is self defeatism that's stemmed from the depression haha

>>24869118


Hey op,


I've also been home for some years now. am very good looking and kind of charismatic in my own kind of way.


I'm so fucking crazy and sad, i enjoy people but i don't enjoy interactions with them. I can't talk with people because talking for me is worth nothing, it doesn't move my feelings or change anything since my brain is god in my world.

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>>24869797
yeah I understand that lol.

Just idk its bad, I get that but it just seems normal to me.

I'm getting super tired here and have work in morning, it was fun chatting with you.

get your depression undercontrol and I'll try the same, it might fix some of your other issues too.

night

>>24869807

I don't understand the last part haha

You've been alone for so long that talking to people has become this weird alien thing to you or you're super apathetic with people naturally?

>>24869820

I'm just disconnected like that naturally, altough i manage these situations well so that others can enjoy being in them.

>>24869820
See if this makes sense to you. I expect it's something you'll relate to.

I desire a partner whom, after spending year after year with them, I'm still learning new things about, even in the long run.

>>24869820

And with the last part,


i'm a god in my own world. so i can't recieve other peoples words of "help" well because i can't really feel what they are saying

>>24869841
Makes no sense because people change as they age anyway and this applies to everyone with everyone. Even though I know what you're trying to say isn't that, it's still empty 'I've decided this is the deciding factor' shit.

>>24869831
Whats your definition of worth? Obviously not social proof. Does a God care if an ant lives or dies? How did you develop this mindset?>>24869851
Are you still at >>24869118?
It doesnt matter and you dont care but im a virgin too, kissles

>>24869851
It's not the deciding factor. My point is... I don't want a simpleton. I want someone capable of critical thinking, who understands nuance, and who is as well a nuanced individual.

>>24869870


A god doesn't deal in negatives or positives, sad enough for the ant.

I think i was born with this mindset, it took some time for it to reach fruition but by the time i was 12 i was always very very ego driven and craving of the feeling of being better than people, but not in a toxic kind of way. Playing with people, learning about the world around me and inciting things i thought was fun.

>>24869875

Yes, then yes of course I agree. I also like that you're not hurt by me having misunderstood you and you respond like a normal human being haha

>>24869875

How do you know that you are not a nuanced simpleton?

>>24869870

Were you asking me something because if you are I don't know what you're asking haha

OP sounds like a complete cunt.

>>24869345
It is a problem being of above average intelligence and people being too dumb to communicate effectively with you on average.

Like, if you think that isn't a thing then you are deluding yourself.

>>24869893
It's the Internet, misunderstandings happen. Might as well be grown up and deal with them instead of ranting like a child.

>>24869897
>a nuanced simpleton
That oxymoron is painful.

>>24869891
How one can validate himself in such a way ?
Its common to underestimate overestimate ones so called "worth" because worth isnt fixed. People may feel good/superior about themselves when they are accepted/approved by others, or because they are successful in general for several reaseons. But there is always why.
People arent born with mindsets/godcomplex/apathy.
>>24869911
My bad, its kinda late...
Anyway I was curious if this topic served it purpose and if it shined some light over your issues.

Why does this thread exist. And why is it the top thread.

>>24869916

anyone blaming communication problems on the intelligence difference between themselves and their peers is a snowflake individual wannabee intellectual. Get your head out of your ass


muh real problems ppl 2 stupeed pls

>>24869922

haha I adore you red tag boy.

>>24869925

I don't validate, i feed off my own energy. The baseline is divine

>>24869215
>>24869118
Look up the symptoms of General Anxiety Disorder, and tell me that you don't fit them to the T.
I have the same problems and I decided that enough is enough and I talked to a psychiatrist. I've gotten better with my issues but, regardless of if you decide on medication or therapy/counseling, it is going to take work to solve this problem.

>>24869922

ah, forgive me my intellectual sir. i hope you find le intellectual you look for, a toast to you fellow intellectual. aren't we smart? I need some stimulation for the brain duud

>>24869916

If you're saying I've misunderstood him, that's fair I might have, but tell me how I've misunderstood.

>>24869929
When there is a vast intellectual gulf between two individuals, communication requires that the more intelligent participant intellectually hobble themselves in order to not make the other feel foolish.

Either the smarter person makes the dumber person feel dumb by not actively filtering their choices of topic or the depth of their observations, which breeds resentment.

Or the smarter person does filter themselves and eventually tires under the strain of doing so, which breeds resentment.

>>24869916

Can't tell if you're supporting me or disagreeing because I've been responding to messages for hours and I'm numb haha

>>24869952

If you're providing safe space culture with substance my good fellow you are not le intellectual powerhouse. Not everyone works in the realms of pretending


fucking "filtering their choices of topic of depth"


do you seriously believe your own bullshit? you're just yearning to feel special.

>>24869946
It would take a monumental step down in intelligence before someone got "so dumb you couldn't understand them"... I understand stupid people quite fluently, they tend to not understand me, however. It's all about keeping the proper perspective in place. Also, I'm happy to be adored. Thank you.

>>24869952

This is completely true and whether you think I'm the smarter person or the retard, you're right anon.

>>24869967

Well in not understanding I don't mean unable to understand, because you're right about that, but I mean misunderstanding what they've written or misreading.

>>24869964
You're doing a lot of the typical shit retards do friend.

For example assuming that I am in any way liberal in my politics or quoting me and fucking typing it wrong rather than using Ctrl C.

I am not liberal lol, and you seem extremely -triggered- by the notion that people of greatly different levels of intellect can struggle to effectively communicate.

I've never even suggested I'm one of those smart people, you've just assembled this caricature of me in your head that involves me thinking this.

>>24869952

"communication requires"


"actively filtering their choices of topic or the depth of their observations"
i want you to read these two and honest to god swear to yourself that this doens't looks like the works of a 12 year old snowflake who listens to 80's music and feels resentment towards the world for not understanding the depth of his persona or taste in the fine arts


it's pathetic. the only thing you have over the average is a need to feel smart, which you seem to do quite well with

Wtf even is this thread and why is it on soc. This amount of narcissism is sickening

>>24869980

So, you're one of the dumb people?

>>24869992
I am smarter than a lot of people
I am dumber than a lot of people
Just like you are

I'm just nowhere near as butthurt as you are

>>24869980

You're very liberal in your politics, in the sense that you want to provide comfort and cater to someones need to not feel inferior to others. you don't agree?

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>>24869994

outplayed, good toast to you sir, enjoy this fine evening. may we encounter many interesting thoughtcraving situations in the future, cheers my fellow

>>24869995

what the fuck is this word vomit shit about being liberal fuck off and go talk to someone who will word vomit back

>>24869995
No, I am not very liberal in my politics whatsoever.

You thinking that you can tell that much about me from a couple of posts about an opinion on a single obscure topic implies to me that you're very hot headed and don't stop to think things out very well.

Note that it only implies that to me, because I don't **know** SHIT about you, random person on the internet. Except that you seem really upset over fuck all.

>>24869977
The reason that text is an inferior medium over which to get to know someone is that it poorly conveys some things. It's sterilized of sarcasm and inflection, except through context clues which must be learned for each person. People tend to be irresponsibly impatient with people they don't know when they're talking over text.

>>24870004

he's deranged man, he's too far gone to communicate with. let it be haha

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>>24870004

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>>24870004

L

>>24870010
The last post kinda just goes to show that he or she is no longer actually trying to communicate ideas intentionally.

Just sort of flinging passive aggression out over the internet.

You seem insightful though judging by your posts, I like you.

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>>24870004

double L

>>24869995
You seem to lack knowledge of the saying "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."

>>24870019
Your meltdown is moderately amusing

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>>24870023

>>24870017

you and red tag guy are the only intelligent ones, and I adore you both, and if either of you want to talk I'm up for it but I'm leaving this post. It's been hours haha.

contact sharing email is [email protected] if either of you do

otherwise bye bye everyone

Interesting thread. It's nice to see I'm not the only one who can't truly connect with my friends. I'm still heartbroken from my last breakup too so the idea of me actually being an interesting person seems strange. People say I'm great and charismatic but maybe I just put on a good face.

I dont like being alone, but I'm not totally satisfied hanging with my "friends" either because I can't lose myself in the fun like I used to. I can't feel close to other people like I used to either.

>>24870025

Well thank you. I appreciate you

>>24870031

fuck right off cunt hehe

>>24870017

I N S I G H T F U L L
how am i passive aggresive? i'm upfront with the fucking deals yo. fuck out kid

>>24870042
Insightful only has one L

>>24870070

My bad, english not being my native tongue and all i'm granted a few mistakes

I honestly think OP is a tryhard and it would do her good to just chill and accept that her uniqueness won't doom her to be forever miserable, but it does require effort, and tons of it, to even know what she really wants out of life.

Remember to sage if you don't want this on the top page people

>>24870031
>>24870032
Welp looks like I was too late. OP is gone. Ah well