Okay /soc/, I ask either here or in /adv/ but I feel like this

How old are you and what is your living situation?

Really basically: Most people meet their gf/bf by hanging around groups that they share an interest with, or even something like working at a similar place. By simply being around these people a lot, you are more likely to make connections. Things usually fall naturally into place as long as you continue interaction with the group.

This is a really unreliable way to get a gf, but its the most common. It requires you to be part of a community or group, and constantly interact with them over time.

Another method is to use dating apps. To use dating apps, you need to be willing to play the game right, as shallow as it might be. Think quantity over quality, but eventually you might meet someone you have a connection with.

Lastly you can just cold approach women anywhere you see them. This takes more practice than you are willing to do, and takes balls of steel, but if you can git gud at it, then its efficient as fuck.


But all I'm trying to say is you aren't going to make any meaningful connections if you can't relate to them in some way. Sounds like you are just interacting with girls you have nothing in common with. Stop your mindset of "I have to serve the girl or she will reject me". Put yourself first and filter out the girls that aren't worth your time.

>>24846911
>How old are you and what is your living situation?
27, seeking for a job. Haven't had the chance to make friends here because I moved a year ago more or less. And even back in my old city it was very difficult for me to meet new people or make new friends. The few times I've tried here, it ended up in basically nothing.

>This is a really unreliable way to get a gf, but its the most common. It requires you to be part of a community or group, and constantly interact with them over time.
Which I already have a more difficult time doing in the first place. If anything I'm seeking for a job precisely because I'm having a hard time meeting others. Loneliness has also taken its toll on me.

>Another method is to use dating apps.
All I find in Tinder are people I literally can't see myself connecting with, like, they're wildly different. They all want to party and to travel and to do this and that and that's just not me.

>Lastly you can just cold approach women anywhere you see them. This takes more practice than you are willing to do, and takes balls of steel, but if you can git gud at it, then its efficient as fuck.
I've thought of doing that. It makes me extremely anxious and I might come off as creepy. I don't think I can do this very well and I will suffer in the end. I've tried and... No.

>But all I'm trying to say is you aren't going to make any meaningful connections if you can't relate to them in some way. Sounds like you are just interacting with girls you have nothing in common with.
Thing is, I already have a difficult time relating to girls for whatever reason. And when I think I can relate to one, it turns out they don't seem to want to engage, so I was wrong I suppose.

>Stop your mindset of "I have to serve the girl or she will reject me". Put yourself first and filter out the girls that aren't worth your time.
I'm trying! But sometimes I feel like the girl will be great and it turns out she's not too interested in me.

>>24846666

I dont know OP, it seems you do use some kind of contacting service and in that case im not surprised, alls real serious relationship I ever had has been with people I initiated contact with irl, and then we moved over to kik and stuff when distance became an issue

Ii think the only time you need to look for a partner online is if you have some kind of issue, either social or your just dont have the time, or youre one some north pole science expedition far away from everything

Its probarbly not your personality OP maybe you could be the boring type, but that goes for alot of ppl

>>24846952
>I dont know OP, it seems you do use some kind of contacting service and in that case im not surprised
I've used Tinder which is an awful fit for my personality, I'm using something else that is for "more serious relationships", and I haven't had success with either. I also have this same sort of issues right here at /soc/.

>alls real serious relationship I ever had has been with people I initiated contact with irl, and then we moved over to kik and stuff when distance became an issue
>Ii think the only time you need to look for a partner online is if you have some kind of issue, either social or your just dont have the time, or youre one some north pole science expedition far away from everything
Read my post above yours.

>Its probarbly not your personality OP maybe you could be the boring type, but that goes for alot of ppl
I don't think I'm boring myself, I could talk of basically anything, and I always put effort in my conversations. I don't know what else it could be though?

>>24846939
Serious question:
Do you want to improve your situation or just vent and complain?

You literally will never change your situation unless you do something about it. You know, "If you want something you have never had, you have to do something you have never done". Figure out how to motivate yourself if you have to. Make yourself accountable to other people in some way, whatever makes you do something about it.

I'm not gonna go back and forth offering advice if you are just gonna combat every point I make with some excuse.

You have more control over your life than you think, but you only get out what you put in.

>>24846666
OP, nice quad-6's btw.

Please state:
Height
Weight
Race
Suit size
Show size
Type of car
Year of car
Live alone?
Time to run one mile in minutes
Last time you ran one mile

Shit I'm sorry, I fell asleep. I must stop making threads while I'm this sleepy.

>>24847252
>Do you want to improve your situation or just vent and complain?
Improve. Hence why I posted.

>You literally will never change your situation unless you do something about it. You know, "If you want something you have never had, you have to do something you have never done". Figure out how to motivate yourself if you have to. Make yourself accountable to other people in some way, whatever makes you do something about it.
>I'm not gonna go back and forth offering advice if you are just gonna combat every point I make with some excuse.
>You have more control over your life than you think, but you only get out what you put in.
I agree, except that I have zero idea about what I should be doing.

>>24847603
>Height
5'11''

>Weight
176lbs last time I weighted myself, so it's that give or take.

>Race
Latino, I live in a south american country in fact

>Suit size
40 to 44

>Show size
Shoe? Huh, wonder why this is important. 10.5.

>Type of car
>Year of car
Got none, never needed one because I've always used public transportation.

>Live alone?
No but I'm looking for a job. I'll live alone by then.

>Time to run one mile in minutes
No idea.

>Last time you ran one mile
No idea, I hate running.

>>24847632
KK...

Get a job
Get an independant living situation
Learn to drive (or fly!)
Take driving trips to beautiful places near you
Learn to draw/photograph/write about the beauty around you
Develop an interest and passion about beautiful things (this makes you more interesting to yourself and to others)
Get strong physically

Be interesting and invite others to share your interesting life

>>24847644
>Get a job
>Get an independant living situation
I'm on it. I can't do much else from what I'm currently doing. I will move out as soon as I get a job.

>Learn to drive (or fly!)
Once I feel the need and can pay myself a course. Unlike the US we don't get taught how to drive at school and courses are expensive.

>Take driving trips to beautiful places near you
I think I have some few ideas as of where...

>Learn to draw/photograph/write about the beauty around you
A time ago I bought myself a set of pencils and a drawing notebook. I can do that. I've just found myself lacking time and motivation.

>Develop an interest and passion about beautiful things (this makes you more interesting to yourself and to others)
Explain this better, please?

>Get strong physically
Uh. Well, I suppose I'm starting to try, I seriously hate exercising, but I've been doing some stuff the last few days.

>Be interesting and invite others to share your interesting life
So, I do that by following the above stuff?

>>24847658
>Develop an interest and passion about beautiful things (this makes you more interesting to yourself and to others)
>Explain this better, please?
Essentially, if you focus on what you lack in life (in the case of this thread, a gf), then you may be closed off to the good things around you. I'm not suggesting that you settle for mundane things, but you should choose and strive for things that are already abundant around you and appreciate them. In a way, this makes you learn to love things around you and the ability to love is an attractive quality. Cultivate it.

>Get strong physically
>Uh. Well, I suppose I'm starting to try, I seriously hate exercising, but I've been doing some stuff the last few days.
Meh. Just make sure you are comfortable carrying a picnic hamper on your back for a 1000m climb. Be ready to be physically entertaining both to yourself and any partner you spend time with.

>Be interesting and invite others to share your interesting life
>So, I do that by following the above stuff?
Yes. Generally.

Also, rob a bank and get lots of money. That's exciting too.

>>24847683
>Essentially, if you focus on what you lack in life (in the case of this thread, a gf), then you may be closed off to the good things around you. I'm not suggesting that you settle for mundane things, but you should choose and strive for things that are already abundant around you and appreciate them. In a way, this makes you learn to love things around you and the ability to love is an attractive quality. Cultivate it.
Okay hold on right there because I don't think I understand what you mean. Sometimes I do stop to watch the little things around me. Yesterday I had to go out and I saw a little bird roosting on a branch before taking flight again and for some reason I found that beautiful, it made me stop.

Do you mean that?

>Meh. Just make sure you are comfortable carrying a picnic hamper on your back for a 1000m climb. Be ready to be physically entertaining both to yourself and any partner you spend time with.
Wait but I never said I like climbing! I'm more of a homebody and I expect my partner to at least be okay with that.

Now, if I HAD to carry a picnic hamper I would do it.

>Also, rob a bank and get lots of money. That's exciting too.
I'm not driven to live a super exciting life. And this means I won't rob a bank.

>>24847733
>stop to watch the little things in life
>Do you mean that?
Yes, but I suggest that you go out and find them intentionally instead of just incidentally. Learn the habit of seeing more around you.

Best of luck, gentle anon.

>>24847763
Oh, except that I do that all the time. I love seeing the landscapes, sunsets, everything all the time.

Thank you, best of lucks to you too