I'm autistic as fuck and cannot for the life of me come

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And here's another one.

hello my name ***yy what your name (like if your name sam say sammy or rob and robby)
for first one,

second one,
just compliment her looks short and quick, say shes pretty or something, simple nothing more than that
minga bitch who doesnt ever hear that will work good

>>24822946
Thanks. Unfortunately my name can't be shortened or nicknamed like Sam to Sammy, or Rob to Robby.

>minga bitch who doesnt ever hear that will work good

I don't think I know what this means.

Literally just say "hey how are you?" She's shown at least some interest in you. If she's wants to pursue something, that's all you need to say.

>>24822968
I've heard that something like that is kinda boring though. But who am I to say what works and what doesn't, I've never reached this point before.

Thanks anon, I'll try it out.

>>24822961
shes a meh tier girl and doesnt get a lot of genuine comments from guys. fake your interest well and she should be easy.

>>24823019
Oh I see, thanks.

If you play your cards right I'll be E-Jacquelyn all over your face.

>>24823041
Fuck that's actually hilarious anon.

I don't think I'm handsome enough to pull that one off, unfortunately.

Post your pic and we can better assess you

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>>24823060
This is me. Far from anything special.

Spoiler, you're just ugly and it doesn't matter what you say, look at those misc threads where they make a fake chad tinder profile and the dude is typing autistic shit to girls and they all want his dick.

>>24822881
"You know what's beautiful? Read the first word."

WOrks everytime ;)

>>24823386
Proof? Something tells me most women won't get this

>>24823386
I've had that used on me!

>>24823380
this

it doesn't matter what your favorite animal is, or the last time you went hiking in the mountains, or anything remotely interesting in your life - it doesn't matter what your profile says. all that matters is your looks.

t. an ugly man who genuinely tries to start conversations with women based on their profiles

>>24824576
And? Does it work >>24824635

>>24822968
You might get a response from this but it starts things off on a boring note, and only desperate girls will reply, or bored girls who will stop messaging you later.

>>24823080
You have potential. You look a bit serious in that pic. Try to take off the glasses and wear a casual shirt with a nice jacket over, then take a new pic. Maybe smile and look at the camera, or smile and look off into the distance "at something".

>>24824635
You can get away with just "not being ugly" on tinder, as opposed to being a chad. But you need to take quality pictures that show off your good traits, and follow up with witty/funny conversation.

All that is totally attainable, but you have to put in a little effort. Most people just shit out a profile and throw blurry FB pics on there and expect to get matches.

>>24822968
>>24823002
>>24824943
Ok I see all the time "hey, how are you?" is boring. I've eve n seen more than a few girls put in their profiles that it is so unimaginative that they won't even respond if you type this.

I'm literally autistic (officially diagnosed with Asperger's). How else do you start a conversation with somebody? What is "interesting" or at least "not boring"? Are western/American girls so spoiled and egotistical that anything less than a Broadway play as your first message won't even get a response back? If so, it makes me not want to even try. I'm not that imaginative. Help

>>24824952
>follow up with witty/funny conversation
This seems to be required in the dating game, but I have no idea how to be witty or funny. It seems like I would be faking it if I tried.

>>24824967
So since you literally have a diagnosis, I can't give you a complete guide on how to interact with women, but I can try to help out.(I don't know how bad your diagnosis is so I'm just gonna assume you have trouble talking to people in general).

First off, I would do research related to aspergers, and seek professional advice on how to interact with people socially, in a way that is at least functional. Perhaps seek information on how to make new friends, in a platonic way.

Next, you would need to learn how to get people to like you in general. There are videos on youtube that can help you with this. This is stuff like learning to relate with people, learning to read social ques, and how to make talking to people more meaningful by making connections, and relating to their interests.

Finally, do what I am working on now, which is learning how to flirt with women. Basically, flirting is supposed to be playful. Most girls don't find guys that are direct to be very attractive. This is because if the guy is too straight forward in asking for sex, he comes off as needy and insecure. This is the most unattractive trait for a man in the eyes of a woman.
Tips for flirting:
1.Have an opener that gets their attention and separates yourself from the swaths of "hey hows it going" that she gets. This does not have to be extravagant, just enough to get their attention. 90% of what women think about is their looks. Provoke them by talking about their looks, but not looking needy by just saying they are pretty.
2.When talking to them, take every chance you can to make a connection. Start putting the idea of "us" into her head.
3.Poke her with positive/negative comments. You can connect this with point 2. Say something about how you two have made a connection, then say something negative like: "jee if only you didn't like watermelon, I almost thought I loved you until you said that"(these negative comments come out better in person where it is easier to detect sarcasm)

>>24824999
Ran out of space, but you get the idea. There are a billion tips for flirting with girls and the only way to get better is to practice.

Autistic? Spare society the burden and don't reproduce. Problem solved. :)

>>24822881
>"Sup Halfie? How does it feel to have race traitor parents?"

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Woah this blew up out of no where.

Thanks for the help guys. The second girl didn't reply back to me, but that doesn't matter because she isn't that attractive anyway.

Well anyways, despite my autism I actually managed to salvage the situation. I'll just go ahead and share the convo with you so you can see my display of stupidity.

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It turns out she's Indian.

I don't know how I feel about that.

>>24825191
Indians in general have good morales? coming from the uk at least which it seems u r too

>>24825239
I'm in Melbourne, Australia. The only Indians I've gotten to know and am friends with are Fijian Indians. Hell, my best friend is Fijian.

But actual Indians from India? The only time I speak to them is either at 7/11 or when I'm catching a taxi/uber. Surprisingly enough, the opportunity to get to know an Indian never came up.

>>24825184
Starting with spaghetti isn't your best best

>>24825260
Yeah, that was suggested by another anon. I could have sworn I'd seen this opener before, and tried to look for it so that I can see what other people followed it up with but couldn't find anything.

But at least she found it funny.

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>>24825816

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>>24825821

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>>24825824

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>>24825826

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>>24825828
By far my best success. She was hot too.

>>24825830
But anon, you're most likely extremely attractive. Especially when compared to me.

I don't think I'd ever be able to pull off an opener like that.

>>24825876
I'm alright looking but this was a first. Started using this app like 3 weeks ago. Just choose good pics and make a decent profile man.

>>24825816
How do I become this smooth and not autistic

>>24825830
You should post your profile. At least tell us your bio. You can blur your face and cover your name but any reference would help.

>>24824964
Well aspenger is outdated there's no such thing as aspenger since DSM 5 now it's called autistic spectrum
And there's one or what you should talk it's mostly tied to their looks or profile

>>24826601


Lay off the emojis

>>24826601
exude confidence and dont come off as desperate (despite the fact you obviously are). try to act natural, even if it's just an act.

just mimic how you see charismatic people act t b h cuz thats all ive ever done. helps if you have a sense of humour

>>24822881
>>24822882
i just say "sup" and it almost always get a response. if you don't you must not lift

>>24824999
The diagnosis says I'm on the autism spectrum, but I don't have classic Autism as discovered by Leo Kanner. I have trouble talking to strangers and don't know what to say. My social skills are poor, but not nonexistent.

So basically don't give a fuck? Sounds legit (not being sarcastic). I'm practicing that now. Women are turned off by being too eager to get with them. I read to not compliment them, don't be their friend, and don't do any favors for them, don't show any weakness or insecurity. Be chill and not spastic. Ask about them, don't talk about youself. Listen more than talk.

Does that sound right?

>>24825153
No kidding, I've often thought about this, like maybe autism is nature's way of keeping bad genes from passing on.
>>24826800
True. My diagnosis says I'm on the autistic spectrum but not classic autism. To me it's the same as Asperger's or HFA, just different name for it.

>not autistic
>not a virgin
>have had a girlfriend
>can form meaningful relationships with people
>no confidence to ask out girls
>spend all day playing video games so no meaningful interests
>not attractive
im gonna die alone desu

>>24827575
All you have to do is try. For someone like you, that is asking a lot I guess. Don't be pathetic.

>>24825191
Just try and see where it goes.

>>24825826
Earplugs for what?

>>24827733
I mean, I genuinely don't know how to hold a conversation of a romantic nature. I match with a few people every time I use the app for a couple days, but I never end up talking to them just because I've got nothing to say

>>24827575
At least you can go with the flow unlike autists like us. Relax, dgaf, and don't go out of your way for girls.

>>24827742
I'm just saying don't make excuses. It is well within your ability to be with girls, but you are choosing not to do it.

That's perfectly fine, but if that is your choice then I don't see the point of going and complaining about being forever alone.

>>24827759
I mean, I didn't end up with any of the girls that I ended up with becuase of my charisma or social skills.

I got my first (only) girlfriend in the 10th grade. We had been really good friends who liked similar things (10th grader shit like fedoras, watches, doctor who, that kind of dumb shit). I never did anything with her because a. I didn't have the self confidence and b. it was a "school only relationship"; I only got as far as holding her hands. Despite her giving me infinite hints to kiss her, I never did and we broke up after like 2 and a half months.

I lost my virginity last year in my first year of college, through casual shit on Yik Yak, some shitty anonymous app for college students. I talked to a girl and a guy on there who both offered to blow me, which I accepted. I talked to some girl who posted on there for a few days about meaningless shit (how classes were going, etc) when, after we bumped into each other on campus, she invited me to her place to fuck her a few times.

Any sexual/relationship conquests have come about by luck. I don't know how to do a relationship, I'm not confident enough in my appearance to look for casual sex, and I'm not even confident enough in my performance to seek casual sex out.

>>24827790
>yik-yak

Muh nigga. Got a decent chick from there my self.

>>24827800
That app was a fucking godsend, right? I got nudes from 2 hot asian chicks, a blowjob from a (fat) girl, 2 blowjobs from a decent looking guy, and a fuckbuddy who bought me food.

It's a fucking tragedy that they killed that app over the summer.

>>24827790
You obviously have something going if you're able to luck into sex that easily. Just steer into that more. Put yourself in situations where something could happen.

>>24827818

Being anonymous is going out of style

>>24827790
I still can't tell if you want to find a relationship/have sex or not.

All I am trying to tell you is that if you want to do something new, you need to put in effort or try to change your behaviors. Otherwise its like you are just throwing excuses out there for pity points.

>>24822881
She's a shitskin though

>>24827734
The screaming

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>>24826777

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>>24828342

>>24825830
tell us some more
do you star the conversation always the same way?

>>24828686
No I go into the profile and look for details that might start a somewhat interesting conversation.

>>24828931
I.e. suck a dick dumbshit was a quote she had in her profile. She said it was from something I've never heard of.

>>24824999
>learn how to get people to like you in general. There are videos on youtube that can help you with this

Bullshit like this makes me glad I never entertained the idea of "dating".

Protip: Be yourself, online and offline. Don't try "too hard" (read: don't "try" at all). Express interest in girls if you're genuinely interested in them and their interests. If you're not, don't fake it and move on instead.

Jesus christ, all the time with this shit. Were we this retarded back in the day? We barely had mobile phones, so hopefully not.

If you must "meet" people online, use full and correct spelling and punctuation.

t. oldfag who met his missus on the Winamp forums

>>24829379
>t. oldfag who met his missus on the Winamp forums
>who's also on the spectrum, FWIW

>>24828342
I honestly don't know if Jack Nicholson in the back there is hurting you or helping you.

>>24829379
There are differences in strategy when trying to have casual sex, and trying to meet your wife.We are in a tinder profile thread, so I thought it went without saying. Guess I give you anons too much credit.

>>24829415
I think it looks playful

>>24822881
post a dick pic and say "hey it isn't going to suck itself baby, so why don't you come over and take care of it"

>>24831734
Interesting approach.

Unfortunately I've already unmatched with her due to her being an Indian.

>>24829942
I didn't meet my wife intending to marry her, mate. You don't have to be shallow just because you want casual sex.

>>24832006
I just don't understand why you got so triggered, because I was trying to give him honest advice. He is literally autistic after all, hence why I suggested studying socialization.