>join various dating sites (tinder, okcupid, pof, etc) >get

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Here's an option

>>24794523
Just go do it now, delete all that shit.
I've been where you are, and it's hard not to keep checking the sites/apps, but in the end you're so much better off.

Have you tried talking to people, work on story telling.

>>24794523
iktf

i'm giving Match a try because my doctor wants me to, as a form of therapy. in the past 2 months, i have met 1 woman, and all she wants is to be friends. who looks for friends on a dating site?

i tried PoF and OkC in the past and had absolutely no luck. maybe i'm just ugly

>>24794568
My counselor and therapist suggesting dating sites as well, it was one of the worst things I could have done at the time.
Not sure what your issues are, but I'd suggest rethinking that strategy.
>maybe i'm just ugly
because of these kind of thoughts

>>24794605
generalized anxiety disorder and depression. basically, i locked myself away from the world for about a decade. the only people i conversed with were those from the net, and eventually i became afraid to even leave the house, so my social skills are pretty lacking. i can make women laugh easily enough, but that's really all i have. i finally managed to get my first car, and i'm 28.

also, i have really low self-esteem and i'm of the belief that the world and everyone in it is against me in one form or another. i've felt that way since i was 12

>>24794621
Well I'm happy that you're doing better, keep going anon, I'm rooting for you. Baby steps though, but you already know that.

Try to meet people irl though, the initial step is way higher but it's so much more helpful in the long run. I started out with an D&D that I talked with online for like 4 weeks before meeting up, that was a decent compromise (was nice to at least know them a little bit beforehand and to know that they were also nerds).

Dating sites did nothing but give me false hopes and eventually an even lower self esteem than what I started out with.

>I'll stop derailing the thread now tho

>>24794680
thanks. i'm trying, ya know? i have 10 years to make up for

Try creating an interesting profile and getting better pictures of yourself. That will get more attention.

Try not being ugly

the four rules of internet dating:

1. be white
2. have a nice car
3. decent job or show off cash from illegal biz
4. be white

without meeting that criteria you're not going to have a lot of success with online dating. think of it like this: online dating for women is the tl;dr equivalent B line to find the guy closest to their dreams, it's to women's total advantage. this happens IRL as well but due to old social constructs (having to go to work somewhere, or college classes, etc.) makes it so women can sometimes actually be in the same room with someone they wouldn't ordinarily glance at. basically IRL is actually easier to date than on the net.

>>24794523

>Tindr is shit
>OKC is semi-shit
>All the other dating apps are literal dog shit

Woman on ALL these apps have EXTREMELY high standards. Tindr is the worst experience ever. If you're not a 8/10 guy you shouldn't even bother using it. The girls that use it are either 8/10 girls who're looking for 6 pack + abs or are EXTREMELY. FUCKING. UGLY who are also looking for a 6 pack + abbs who commonly use phrases like "hwp" when the only thing that's proportionate to their weight is their ass, which is going to be fucking huge because they're fat as fuck.
If you're serious, keep OKC and DO NOT TOUCH IT UNLESS YOU GET A MESSAGE.

Also, use Match. Yes, I know it's a paid service, but if you're serious, use it. Pay for it. It's worth it.

I went through the same thing-- spent years on dating apps finding like three mediocre dates with woman that were way below my league.

The moment I went to Match, I was initiating conversations and getting replies... and woman were initiating conversations with me. I'm 24, I joined when I was 23. I'd say I'm about a 5/10 on a bad day, maybe a 7 on a good day...

The thing about Match is that you have to pay. The moment you're paying for a dating service is when the quality of conversations, connections, and matches improve. You'll be talking to woman that are also paying, and like you, won't want to be wasting their time.

I went on several high quality dates using Match. If the girl and I weren't feeling it, we'd be respectable about it and decide to wish each other luck in finding other matches. Ironically I was sub'd to Match when I found my first real relationship through OKC... but that was lucky as fuck tbqh.
tl;dr - use match if you're serious, keep OKC but don't check it unless you get a message. DELETE TINDR.

>>24794837
The only rules of dating, both internet and not, are the following two rules:

1. Be attractive.
2. Don't be unattractive.

What makes you follow rules number one and two can be different, but there are a lot of things that are mostly universal. Good looks in general, being in shape, having some body definition, having money, being a "bad boy", being successful, having a good car/motorcycle, the list goes on.

You're right that white/asian guys and girls have it the easiest, followed by black guys, but that's just because it's the dominant ethnicity of people who are doing online dating in the US and Europe. It's "our scene".

>>24794852
All the dating sites and apps have an effect that make people want to reach higher than their own rating. It has something to do with going through lots of pics at once, so we tend to look for the top of the pile instead of what we realistically can obtain. There's a lot more psychology behind it, but it's true for both guys and girls.

shits easy to get laid with

>>24794852
I am not really seeing the benefit of paying for a Match account over, say, an OKC account which is what I have. It all seems to be about the same and it won't really matter unless you're really good looking

im a 32yr old virgin dude in los angeles

ive tried tinder and maybe like two dozen other similar apps. 4chan. tumblr. redditt. craigslist. tons of chat sites and i dont know what else. 0 success. im not even ugly or retarded, or fat. gl dude i have zero advice.

kik: zsasza

>>24794523
I know right?
I messaged a good 30-40 girls, only about 3 replied.

One had no picture and was as interesting as a brick wall, and basically stopped replying after i asked a question that required an answer of more than 2 words.

The second was somewhat the same, eventually stopped replying

The third one at least flat out told me she wasn't interested.

I also had a girl block me after i sent her one message.

I did however receive one message from a girl on OKC but she was a landwhale so this time i was the one who didn't reply... Sorry but i have some standards and not being fat is number 1 for me.

Occasionally i get these "X wants to meet you" type of emails but i don't trust those. You can't view who wants to meet you anymore unless you pay, and i was told they are not accurate. Before it actually said the usernames of who wanted to meet you, and i searched them up, a lot of times there was no such person, and the ones i did manage to find didn't reply.

>>24794905
yeah okay so you just confirmed my four rules of dating, thanks.

same experience, ppl wasting your time. women looking for orbiters. same as /soc/, but on an app essentially.

compatibility means nothing. women only go for 20% of men anyway. don't even bother getting excited about meeting a potential good match.. it's just a spiritual drain for men, and women alike..

only difference is. men die a little inside because it's essentially speed dating with no feeling, you end up feeling disgusted with yourself. and women die spiritually and don't even know it, in all the abundance of men, they destroy their endurance and true matchmaking ability.. they lose themselves in this shower of approval. A lot of em just trash themselves sexually and have no stability.

I'm generally considered a handsome guy, skinny leaning towards athletic. I dress well but not rich nor do I look it.

I signed up for OKC and the first 3 girls I messaged replied, met up with one after about 2 days after we really hit it off. Didn't bother trying to keep in contact with the others since there seemed to be no need.

Ended up in a fwb relationship with her for 6months. Which only ended because it got a bit heavy (she whispered *I love you* as we were having sex). Oops.

Either I was really lucky, or OKC just works really well for me?

I had a few photos, was honest about what I was looking for and just generally friendly. I spent a long time writing the initial contact message and wasn't just like "hey". Talked a bit about myself referenced a few things in their profile that made me laugh or resonated with me and asked a few questions.

I tried Ashley Madison (the affair website) loads of spam. I figured horny housewives literally looking to cheat would be lining up but its also a *pay to win* model of dating which is heavily geared towards making guys pay a LOT of money. Avoid that shit.

Never tried Tinder.

I joined an Asian dating site and got loads of attention, though I'm sure 50% were fake or old men.

>>24794852
i use match, and i've had one person talk to me for longer than 10 minutes. she only wants to be friends at that. i went out with her last night and i get the feeling she doesn't want to see me again

everyone else i've messaged either reads and doesn't respond, or hasn't logged on in a long time

>>24794523
been on OKC and POF since I was 19.

23 now, longest convo I had lasted an hour. Never met anyone.

I don't recommend it OP.

>>24794852

I've used Tinder and OKC fairly actively for the last 3 years.

I think I have gotten a single date from OKC. I get plenty of profile views and profile likes, rare that I get a response back. Get numbers every now and then but then they usually bail before the first date. I have gotten laid a few times because of OKC.

With Tinder I have had multiple dates, it still takes a while but it is viable to find quality women there. Have had two relationships from Tinder. I have gotten probably laid more from Tinder than OKC.

Is match that much better? I feel like people were more willing to meet with tinder than OKC because with OKC they can just scour your profile to find an excuse why they don't want to like you (even if you are like 98%+ match).

>>24798968

This is why I consider it a victory getting a single message back. But overall it's just taxing on the self esteem. I should just delete it, but that fucking "what if" man.

Eh. I had a really good experience with OKC. I haven't really touched it in ages, but I do occasionally pop in to see who's visited me / if anyone is interesting looking in my top matches. Don't message folk anymore though.

When people start talking about the 'rules' or how women just 'want orbiters' on there, or how they have all these 'crazy unrealistic expectations', I really fucking end up wondering about what your guys profiles look like. I've seen the dudes who message my partners - hell, there's entire webpages out there dedicated to 'dudes of OKC' - and it seems the ABSOLUTE NORM for guys to have shitty pictures, shitty profiles, shitty rates of ACTUALLY ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS, and shitty messages.

I mean, hell, >>24795944, why are you messaging girls with no pictures? >>24797762
you're talking about how "compatibility means nothing" and yet most of the women I know who use OKC are unlikely to even open messages from a dude under 80%; let alone the norm of guys scoring under 20% (or 0% because they didn't answer any questions) and messaging them.

I'm a fat dude with a cute face, great smile and blue eyes. I get matched on tinder, okcupid, pof etc. I've gone on 3 dates since joining the various dating sites a week ago. I usually get rated a 6 in rate me threads here. So it is possible without being a fitness model to get a date. These women aren't even fat and are in fact attractive. Don't lose all hope.

>>24794568
Making friends can be a gateway to sleeping with your friend's friends

>>24794852
I get plenty of matches on tinder and I'm as average as they come. Middle of bell curve face, thin but not fit body.

Only the bottom 40% or so of ugliness are doomed on tinder, and maybe only the bottom 10% are truly without options to improve their chances.

A lot of it does come down to location though.

But hey, you seem like you've found your happiness either way. For everyone else, there's a tinder advice thread that can help you improve your odds.

>>24799783
That was the first and last girl i messaged who didn't have a picture.

>>24794568

Going to second: >>24800275 one of the easiest way to get an 'in' with women is to get a thumbs up from their friends. So when someone in their circle can vouch for you and say you're a good dude it goes a really god damned long way. Don't discount friends. Conversely, treating people poorly will also super shoot your chances in the foot. People talk.

My problem is that it seems like my city (Houston) is a shit hole for meeting women. There's NO ONE I want to message on OKC. They are all fat tumblr feminist types or black girls, and even then there's a very small number.

By comparison, when I switch my location to Austin or even Dallas there's a lot of nice looking girls who are into the stuff I'm into.

I've had my OKC for about 8 months and finally met a girl who was AMAZING. Intelligent, pretty, and into everything I was into. I felt like we were hitting it off, and we arranged several dates, and she suggested we skype to each other. We talked intensely for a month, then I logged on and she just deleted her account without a word. It made me really sad. Now I've been on there like a year, and she's still the only girl who responded to my messages. Although that's because I'm very discriminating in messaging.

Last person on OKC to like my profile was some single mom who only seem to be interested in getting a baby daddy

Since I sign up for an account last may I I have gotten less then 15 profile likes and I dunno how many profile view, none of which really interest me.

I dunno. Maybe I am just not being proactive enough (I have never messaged anyone and I tend to browse invisibly) or maybe I just need to lower my standards dramatically?

Ideally I would like to just stop paying attention to this stuff all together because as I stated before It just serves to depress me but I just can't seem to

>>24801803
Women's profiles are pretty much constantly fucking bombarded. Most women I know spend more time trying to manage the constant flow of stuff than trying to actively search out folk. When they do search out folk, it's relatively rare that they will message them first. I know a few women who are reticent to even visit dudes profiles, because it usually results in super awkward messages.

You do have to be proactive on OKC.

I (female) met my partner of 2 years now on OKC. I was on there... I wanna say about 2 weeks before taking our conversations off the app, and eventually going on a date. He was on there a lot longer, not sure how long... maybe 6 months. Anyway, moral of the story: doesn't hurt to keep trying, just don't invest too much into it.

>>24801478
i met her best friend the other night when we went out again. she hasn't said a word to me since, so i think it's a total bust. i haven't tried reaching out either due to not wanting to seem as clingy

>>24797812
>online dating works well for attractive guys
who knew?

>>24802712
Yeah people underestimate how the coven works today. Their best friends can break a relationship at will.

just as other anons have been saying women's profiles are flooded with messages upon creating the profile and as a result most women rarely make first contact.

And I can tell you most of those messages are dick pics and dudes ignoring preferences like age limits or sexuality.

Just be active, but don't get obsessed. At least scan over their profiles to see their preferences and don't send a dick pic right away.

Also set up your profile to have some dumb quirky info on it girls dig that shit.

>>24805327
>don't send a dick pic right away.

I really don't see why anyone would do this unless your where a total autist completely devoid of the ability to empathize

I mean has that EVER fucking worked on anyone but the most desperate, deranged woman?

>implying most cumdumps AREN'T deranged

keckled

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>>24801645
I'm from around Houston and I don't think I've gotten a single date off of OKC I've had some from POF, with Tinder when swiping right on every single female everyday I would get maybe 1 or 2 matches in a month.

You know things are completely fucked when I have only ever received a response back from a woman from copy paste messages.

At my peak I was probably sending out something between 200 to 300 messages a week to women, With a response rate somewhere around 1-2%

Every single decent conversation I've been able to have off of a dating site always ended with the woman just simply stopping in the middle of the conversation.

like you mentioned the majority of the women that tried to contact me were morbidly obese and/or black, I've also had a couple of fat single mothers try to hook up with me.

I think one of the worst parts is every date I've gone on the women seem to have no interest in having a good time, fun or enjoying themselves.

Which has been the complete polar opposite I've had for meeting girls off of soc, the overall experiences may have not been positive every time but the first date or hang out was always a great time for both of us.

I feel like I'm in a add and difficult to spot. I've had much more success with soc then I do on traditional sites, but I'm not going to find the kind of woman I want on soc.

Been on OKC for almost five years now. First couple years I'd get a decent conversation going every other week and manage a date about every other month, though only once did I manage a second date. Not a great hit rate but it was something, you know? Something happened with my profile after a couple years though where my 'like' and 'unlike' buttons stopped working and my profile views went from forty-ish a week to less than ten and I haven't managed a long conversation or a date since. I consider myself a 6/10, maybe a 7 on a good day and I'm not pinging girls I'd call way out of my league, but I just don't know what's going on. I'm also on Tinder but I've had NO luck there, maybe two conversations in two years and no dates. Debating deleting my old profile and starting a totally new one but I put so much work into it.

it's a lot easier to use these sites when you're using them to cheat

you don't get stressed about rejection and in fact can be more of an alpha personality because again, who cares if they reject you, and if they do, you've got someone else anyways, so fuck em

that being said it's stressful to have to delete it off your phone and shit constantly if you're worried about them finding out

and only 1 girl i met up with was worth it in the long run

I'm fat and unemployed and I hardly go a week without getting some cooch from POF.

The key is being confident and just so much of an asshole they think they have to keep earning your approval. Never EVER act desperate

>>24810377
Oh also, aim for the bottom of the barrel and you'll never miss. The absolute worst fuck I ever had was an 8/10 milf. The best fuck I ever had was a chick who looks like something at wal-mart at 2 in the morning.

>>24794523
Nope