Anyone here molested as a child? Gay or straight, hot or horrifying.

>>24763128
>be me 10 or 11
>live in apartment complex with mom and little bro
>large courtyard surrounded by buildings.
>play there all the time
>one day see girl I went to elementary and part of middle school with
>Had a crush on her, major
>curly brown hair, cool as shit, tiny bit of a tomboy
>her parents are divorced, dad lives across the courtyard now
>she's over on the weekends, we spend time together outside all the time
>my mom and her dad meet since we are over at each other's places all the time
>Mom's cool with me spending time over there. Thinks her dad will be a good influence on me since my dad bailed (white, not a nigger)
>Her dad invites me over one day when the girl is not there
>asks me all kinds of strange questions about if I like his daughter and if I like girls and shit
>think I am in trouble
>asks me about if I touch myself ‘down there’
>he’s giving me the sex talk. Wasn’t clear until he got to the end and then my mom asked about it later.
>my mom asked him to, it seems. She says it is something my dad is supposed to do
>embarrassed, but he seems nice and cool about it.
>talks about porn and then shows me some. long time ago, so VHS, no internet yet
>talks about masturbation and what it is and that it’s ok, all guys do it
>long story short, he tells me I can watch porn when I want at his house and he'll leave the room so I can spank it.
>Kinda horrified and embarrassed but also really want to see more porn.
>go over occasionally and ask to watch porn. He’s always cool about it. Pops some in and leaves the room.
>Sometimes, after a while, he walks into the room, passing through, or to get something. Sometimes he just sits over on the other side of the couch and watches porn too but not looking at me.
>sort of embarrassed, but after a while, not.

>>24763133
>Soon he’s jerking his cock at the same time. First in his boxers and then soon out in the open
>amazed at the size of his cock. Never seen an adult one IRL. Watching him cum blows my mind the first time. I still can’t jizz.
>There is a video camera, which I know now, was on every time but didn't realize at first. I am a dumb kid
>this goes on for a while. Jerking to porn in the same room, but a lot of the time I am just watching him and how he does it, using lube sometimes etc. I’m just playing with my cock and watching him cum all over himself.
>occasionally we’d shower together after, but he wouldn’t really touch me.
>One day he comes over while I am playing with mine and gets down on his knees, I am on the sofa.
>Asks me if I want to try something that feels really good. Tells me to close my eyes and take my hand away.
>And now he’s sucking me…
>Horrified and embarrassed and scared but oh god yes, that feels amazing,
>He sucks me while jerking himself. Still no real orgasm from me though.
>first real orgasm comes very soon after. Maybe like a few weeks after.
> I think my first real jizz was in his mouth. That took a bit of time to happen though.
>When it did happen I was surprised. Thought I had peed a little and tried to get him off. He lifted his head up and spit my cum into his hand and showed me.
>He told me he was so proud and that I was becoming a man and could make babies and stuff.
>we do this for a while, we’d start jerking separately then he kneels in front of the couch and sucks me while jerking his cock.
>at first he just shot his cum on the carpet but after a while he stands up and shoots it on my body but he always waits until after I have cum.
>showering together more now because I’m frequently covered in his jizz, he always swallows mine
>asks me if I want to touch his cock in the shower one day
>goaheadtasteit.png

>>24763142
>It seems impossibly big but I can get quite a bit inside my mouth. He moans a bit and says that it feels so good. Doesn’t cum that time but he’s very happy and telling me how good I am and stuff.
> Soon after I'm sucking him at request
>for a while, at first, he always pulls away and cums into a towel or on his chest but then one day “forgets” and I get it my mouth.
>Swallow some instinctively. Not a fan but it’s ok. Next time he asks me to swallow.
>surewhynot.avi
>Start to learn how to suck well. He’s teaching me, coaching me to use my hands with my mouth, to play with his balls, rub his taint, etc.
>He’s always telling me how good it is and I hate to say this, but I loved it. I loved the feeling of pleasing him and the praise and also my own orgasms.
>Didn't understand gay vs. straight, still knew I liked girls but it felt great.
>Get to go over after school, get my dick sucked to completion and then suck him for a while. Not so bad.
>He continues to coach me on how to suck him off, learn how to get him off quickly and how to make noise and show enthusiasm. He’s always showering me with praise.
>this goes on for a LONG time. Maybe over a year. Then he shows me gay porn.
>maleonmalepenetration.exe
>never knew that shit was possible, I am a dumb kid – told me it feels just like a girl from the giving end, feels even better from the receiving
>sucks me with a finger inside me while I watch 2 dudes rail each other on TV.
>cum buckets and I’m hooked, start anal play at home as well, literally sharpies in pooper
>eventually, he tries his cock in me. I’m 11 or 12 maybe.
>On my back, scared as hell, shaking, but hard, hurts bad but I really wanted to get past it.
>he’s actually cool about it, stops, tells me it will take time
>doesn’t even cum, massages my asshole and puts Vaseline on it. Kinda sore next day but not bad.

my mom's ex downloaded CP and beasty on my personal computer when i was 12. don't know if he ever molested me or not but it was pretty fucking traumatizing

>>24763144

>after some time, we try again.
>Shows me how to clean myself out in the shower with this bulb enema. Not embarrassed by sucking cock or swallowing a man’s jizz but the idea of him seeing me poop kills me for some reason
>after shower he spends a long time massaging and fingering me, gets 3 fingers in. I’m on my stomach, feel him climb on top.
>okheregoes.jpg
>the pressure, oh my god.
>he pumps for a while, I am pretty numb so it doesn’t really hurt except when he goes deep. He’s asking me if I am okay a lot and telling how good it feels. Apparently, I am a good boy. :-P
>he finally cums inside, didn’t love it, didn’t hate it, but I didn’t cum until he blew me after.
>we do this maybe once a week or two. Start to get loosened up over time, taking man cock like a fucking pro.
>about 12 or 13 now, pubes just coming in IIRC
>wish I could tell someone, not to make it stop but because it’s like the best thing ever to me. Guy is like a Dad to me as well, takes me places with his daughter, presents at Christmas. Talks to me about guy stuff. Helps me with my homework.
>Plus he sucks a mean dick and gives me access to porn
>he tells me that we’ll get in trouble if I tell anyone because only adults are supposed to do these things
>understand that dad has been videotaping everything, didn’t before, but now he’s not hiding it.
>I am not really embarrassed though so I don’t care. Never consider why he would tape it. I was a dumb kid
>Starting to feel weird about the secrecy. Literally have no idea how bad this is, or what would happen if my mom found out. My only exposure to any of this was with him and it was normalized there but the fact that it was off limits everywhere else was very confusing to me.
>Hear gay and fag at school but literally no idea of the connection to what I was doing. I thought gay was about two boys being in love or not being able to have sex with a girl for some reason.

>>24763151
>He never kissed me or anything like that. Put his arm around me on the couch and stuff and would give me rubdowns with oil, especially before fucking me.
>Figured out much later the gay porn which he only showed occasionally had no kissing or anything. He either edited it out or fast forwarded. I think there were only like 2 scenes total.
>One day we are the sofa bed which was still folded out because his daughter has just left
>I’ve cleaned up and cleaned out, like a good boy, lubed myself up a bit and I’m jerking myself while he sets up the camera as usual
>This time though there is a long cord into the TV which is an enormous rear projection model. Old school now, but state of the art then.
>first time he’s ever done a live feed type thing so I can see. Think it’s the coolest thing ever.
>I am sucking him and he’s watching it on the TV behind me. Kinda rush the BJ because I want to see it too.
>He lays flat on his back, and I am squatting over his dick and he’s holding my ass cheeks in his hands. Slides me down on his cock. I’m hard, sticking straight out.
>takingitlikeapronow.webm
>I’m watching this on the big TV, fucking amazed, because I had no idea that’s what it looked like really.
>I can see his cock sliding into me and it’s AMAZING. It looks like the porn he’s showed me and for some reason it was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. His cock looks too big but then it’s inside me and I’m pressed down to his balls.
>Sliding up and down slowly, want to jerk myself but have to use my hands to steady myself.
>switch to doggy, face towards tv
>For some reason, and this is something that I probably am just starting to understand fully, I am understanding that I am the ‘girl’. Not that I am a female but that I am the one who always gets fucked and it’s because of my physical size and role in our relationship.

>>24763153
>I don’t exactly understand all of that then really, but I feel this wave of what may have been shame or embarrassment. I know I felt physically hot all of a sudden.
>then on my back at the edge of the bed. Dad’s holding the camera, sort of POV
>start jerking my cock, watching myself on TV
>He’s filming and smiling down at me asking if it feels good and I nod. He says it feels really good to him and that I am sexy
>’Sexy’ makes me feel very weird. I’m surprised by the word, and stop looking at him and go back to looking at the TV.
>suddenly cum buckets all over myself, never done that while being penetrated
>hellyes.jpg
>That really cemented how I felt about anal. Being fucked was a thing for him and I did it because I really kinda loved the guy but it always made me nervous
>felt like I would get hurt, as there was always a tiny bit of pain, but now I get it.
>I also would get a bit soft and never thought I could get off like I did when he fingered me but this was a whole different level
>so Dad pulls out, cums all over me, which normally, he always came inside
>some lands on my face
>firsttimeforthat.ogg
>dad zooms in, I am watching myself turning my head back and forth.
>seen it in porn never on me, kinda mesmerized, dads got a huge grin
>okthatwasfun.scr

>>24763158
>this goes on till I am about 15 or 16, right before highschool
>dad rails me or blasts my throat. Girls ignore me but I have less interest because my balls are always empty
>Went to Disney with him and his girls even, mom couldn’t afford it. He never did anything with me when they were around though.
>Dad basically treats me like the son he never had which I know sounds horrifying to some but I fucking loved the guy
>must have swallowed buckets of cum, mom had no idea, never almost got caught
>as I got older, from time to time I would worry about what we were doing, getting caught, being called a fag, etc.
>He’d always reassure me…and then fuck me. He never tried to kiss me or make out or cuddle or anything. No feminization, no verbal abuse nothing at all.
>Never close to getting caught since we were in his Apt. My mom called sometimes to tell me to come home or whatever.
>The occasional weekend when his daughters weren’t there were awesome. He’d take me to a movie, then we’d go home, cum all over everywhere, shower and then he’d make grilled cheese and we’d watch cartoons or something
>then things got weird, and awful and that part is hard to reconcile with this part.
> I wonder from time to time if he hadn’t crossed a line, and also if he hadn’t been taping it and shit, if I would have any negative feelings about it at all.

The end...

yall niggas are fucked fr lol

>>24763165
we know lol!!!!!!!

>>24763165
LITERALLY

>>24763149
Yeah exposure to porn is usually how it starts from what I have read. Repressed memories are usually in total I would think so it's likely nothing physical happened or you would have blocked the porn. At least I would think that is the most likely scenario.

>>24763176
yeah you're probably right. just trying to come up with explanations for being so fucked up i guess.

>>24763161
So what's the weird and awful part?

>>24763223
I was hoping to get some more participation before posting that. Might drive people away.

>>24763259
Possibly, but it seems you're leaving off a major part of the story.

>>24763266
Yeah it is. I will post. Brb in a min.

>>24763161
>>24763271
>>24763266
>Ok Part 2: AKA Things got weird and horrible
>Still 15 or 16 I think. Fully into puberty, horny as fuck all the time.
>go to “Dad’s” after school for some funtime
>There is another guy there and a kid I would guess 8 or 9? Seems younger than I was when I started with dad
>Guy is OLD maybe 50’s, big ass beer belly, thankfully clothed.
>I’m immediately freaked, I know this stuff is supposed to be secret so I’m wondering if I should even be here.
>Basically they want me to fuck the kid.
>I pull dad aside and I’m freaking because no one was supposed to know. Tell him I want to leave. He says it’s all good, calms me down, gives me a beer. (Ya I know)
>I confirm that I don’t really want to do anything with the guy but he’s telling me this is for fun and they are just going to film.
>I am nervous as fuck, get down to undies and go back in LR. Kid is already on the sofa bed naked.
>Dad and (Grandpa? I guess), have cameras. Sit down next to kid, nervous. Grandpa tells us to go ahead and get started.
>Kid goes down on me, sucking like a pro but It takes forever to get hard. Have to close my eyes.
>Get hard and kid gets on his back, I lube myself up and the kid lift his legs up and lubes up too like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
>I’m trying to be like dad and tell him I’ll go slow and shit and get him to talk to me but I slide right in with almost no resistance.
>It’s the first time for me. Never penetrated anyone before. It feels good and the kid seemed ok but very passive. I’m trying to “perform” for the camera now like porn, trying to get him to jerk himself. He does for a bit and then stops even though he’s erect.
>Eventually I cum, pull out, they zoom in on the butthole and cut.

>>24763288
>So I go in the back to shower and change and shit and I’m thinking about shit and feeling kinda ok and kinda not ok.
>I come out and grandpas on the couch with the kid, who’s now dressed but it’s clear he’s been crying but has sucked it up.
>Dad rushes me out the door and I’m fucking freaked.
Long story short I tell dad the next day to get fucked and I’m no longer coming over any more. He’s very morose and kind of just says okay and that’s it. See him around but don’t ever talk to him again. Even stopped talking to the daughter. My mom knew something was up but thought I was being a moody shitty teen, which is true kinda but I def had reasons.

>>24763295
oh man that's rough. im so sorry you had to do that.

>>24763304
Yeah man. I hated myself for like 15 years. I pissed away a lot of my good years being angry at the world. I am better now but to say I have mixed feelings about the entirety of what happened wouldn't be doing it justice.

If they ever called me to testify I would. I don’t hate the guy even though he’s the person who fucking made all of that happen. He clearly knew that he’d crossed a line. He moved out maybe 6 months later, never heard from him again. Tried to lookup the daughter a few times but they both have insanely common names.

Never messed with my bro thank GOD. He still turned out fucked though.

I hope like hell that kid is alright. He was clearly in a bad situation.

>>24763322
everything he did to you was wrong but putting you in that situation is one of the more fucked things i've heard about. im glad you've mostly gotten peace.

File: hqdefault.jpg (16KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 480x360px

>>24763325

ok lets do it, this isnt too bad but it did leave an impact.

>be me
>maybe 11 years old
>family friends party
>mother and father are friends with host
>host has a daughter around 13
>meet the daughter and she starts leading me around
>dumb guy so i just follow
>she takes me into a closet
>party was at a big dinning hall so we were in a coat closet
>she starts touching my stuff
>dont really know what to do so i just let her touch me
>now im 25
>into femdom
>only like it when the girl is the aggressor
>passive girls are a turn off.

ehhh like i said it didnt scar me but it was the first "sexual" experience i had

>>24763353
Those formative experiences don't fucking go away.

I am "straight" but I love anal on me. It's part of sexuality and always has been.

I like to be both the top and the bottom with men and women. I like being fucked and I like to fuck but it's specific. If I want to fuck it's girls only. Never want to fuck a guy for any reason.

When I want to get fucked, girl or guy will do but I don't kiss or make out with guys.

Best sexual relationship I had was with a girl who could be cute and cuddly and submissive and also an aggressive strapon top. Not many women I can match up with like that AND get all the other relationship shit right.

It's a struggle. I wish I could just pound away on a pussy for 10 min like most guys and that be enough.

>>24763372
> wish I could just pound away on a pussy for 10 min like most guys and that be enough.

f here but same. i honestly hate myself so much for not being able to have a normal sexual relationship. it kind of ruined my last relationship so i'm bitter

>>24763389
You gots to work on that self hatred. I don't have advice but It's key. Talk to someone, professional if needed.

>>24763416
just started seeing someone a month or so ago. she's the only therapist i've had that believes me about the porn thing. i'll get through it, it's just annoying.

File: staystrong.png (419KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

419KB, 800x600px

>>24763417

when I was 6 my neighbor, who was about 15/16 fucked me. it was horrible and hurt. he did stuff to me for years.

>>24763133
do you resent your mother for not protecting you? I have a lot of anger twords my parents. also I have kids of my own now and am very very overprotective. like I've never let anyone babysit them or put them in daycare or anything. I'm scared to death that someone will try to hurt them like I was.

File: 1462118728206.png (307KB, 450x450px) Image search: [Google]

307KB, 450x450px

>>24763128
Yes. Probably most people on this board were in some way. It creates mental illness and it's definitely not something to share stories when you talk about it being hot. That will just make people compete for negative attention which reinforces their illness.

>>24763489
Not really no. She loves me and she wasn't stupid she was just sheltered. We talked about someone else who'd been molested one time and she said she never ever thought about that when we were growing up. It wasn't something that was on her radar. She was a teacher for many years and only really came to understand it later in her career.

It's amazing but I don't blame her at all. I also wouldn't ever tell her. It would break her heart and she would never forgive herself.

>>24763495
Well, as I said a lot of people who were molested were by people they love and they may have some conflicted feelings about it. It's pure horror for some and for others it was a mixture.

Beside the sense of betrayal and self hatred, one of the reasons I was so angry for so long is the loss of that companionship as well as the loss of a sexual outlet at a time I was horny constantly. I had no emotional or personal foundation with which to begin to express my sexuality or even make a personal connection with people my age.

I do still fantasize about the 'good' parts and try not to dwell on the bad. I know that's fucked up but it's not something I think you can understand unless you been there.

For the folks who had nothing but horror I feel for them as I can't imagine enduring years of that and feeling that powerless.

I got off easy (crazy I know). As I said, if things hadn't happened the way they did how would I feel now? Would I just have had a sudden realization that I was abused and go through a downward spiral latter in life? Would I be a molester as well? It's not simple.

I get off to incest stories with underage participants. All varieties. It's not something I want to do but it's part of me sexuality. This shit isn't simple and I'm rambling.

>>24763597
I can understand it, but it's unhealthful to do so. You're basically fantasizing to escape the reality, which adds to the fogs rather than takes it away. Part of your sexuality is broken and needs healing.

>>24763608
I think that's a simplistic diagnosis.

>>24763611
It's not a diagnosis. It's general truth and observation. If you actively choose to fantasize to the good parts and try to block out the bad parts, you're then distorting reality for yourself. You're getting a dopamine rush off of something that is objectively an evil thing that happened to you. You can't deny it.

>>24763597
i can see that if she was a good mom not wanting her to know. Its kind you would spare her from that.

>>24763646
There's nothing good about a mom that drops her problems off on a stranger man. Willful ignorance is a behavior pattern and it can be taught.

>>24763650
By the guy's story, it doesn't seem like his mom did that. You're reaching.

>>24763597
it's extremely unhealthy to fantasies about it, there were no good parts.its not a good thing it's wrong and harmful. what he did to you was 100% wrong the whole time. even if some of it felt good, you can't help a biological response that everyone has to sexual contact. that was outside of your control to have that response, but it dose NOT make it good. it was wrong and damaging to your mind it's horrible to do that to someone so young that can't cope with the mental attachments of sex and who's body is not physically ready to do those actions. I'm so sorry that all happened to you but part or moving forward is recognizing that it was a trama not a relationship. like he was a POS for doing that to you and it's not something to be fantasized.

>>24763661
Come on dude. Think of what his story really is and where his mom's mind was all those hours he was sitting in a room watching porn. His mom even knew the guy was talking about sex with him. She was willfully ignorant and bought into his manipulative techniques because at the end of the day it let her escape her own problems, which were the most important thing to her.

>>24763668
Got problems with your parents anon?
Were you taken advantage of?

Lay back and tell us your troubles...

>>24763680
That's ok, I'll pass. It's normal for a single child to be extra defensive of their mother.

>>24763650
if it was willful ignorance I agree with you but it kind of seems like he liked what was going on at first, like he didn't know how wrong it was or how badly he could be hurt, at first he was excited by it and probably hid it from his mother. she might not have known. I agree it is always a parents job to protect and look out for there kids tho. I never leave my children with anyone ever. they have never had babysitters or anything. I don't even let family watch them. I'm way more on guard then most tho.

>>24763691
I'm not sure if we are on the same page. I'm saying his mother was practicing willful ignorance, not him. He is now, but that's the manifestation in his own personality at the present.

>>24763696
no I was saying that as a kid when it first started he was actually ignorant of how bad it was. that he liked it, t felt good and he hid it from his mother. we don't know the woman, she's either kind of well ditsy, like trusting and unaware of the risk of that sort of thing. some people are really sheltered and dumb about that stuff. or she was just ignoring it and letting it go on. witch is fucked up and awful to think a parent would let that go on.

File: 1457326954913.jpg (259KB, 1280x1080px) Image search: [Google]

259KB, 1280x1080px

>>24763714
Most people are ditsy because it serves them. She needs her world rocked if she is truly oblivious to the world around her. Someone like her can vote. The thing is, she probably has come to realize what happened by how gay her son is but she's afraid to admit the truth to herself.

I'm done adding rationality to this thread. Back to pol for me.

>>24763726
>Back to pol for me.
That explains it.

>>24763726
>rationality
Sounds more like projecting or just plain bullshitting.
By the guy's own words, the mom didn't know and never suspected, so where do you get off on this insane story of her being an awful person and ignoring the truth she didn't even know?

>be me, 8 year old girl
>having slumber party with bff
>night time, snuggle up and start drifting off
>wake up to a weird feeling in the middle of the night
>open my eyes
>bff's older brother is crouched by my side, rubbing my cunt through my pajama shorts
>grind against his hand because it feels really good
>friend is still fast asleep
>he shoves his tongue in my mouth to stifle my moans
>silently picks me up and carries me up to his bedroom
>surprise him by willingly sucking his cock and letting him fuck me to completion
>he fills me with his cum
>no biggie, can't get pregnant

i wonder if he was disappointed that i was already corrupted. little did he know i had been fucking for a good year already, and continued to be used and abused well into my early teens. i guess it's fucked me up mentally but i can't deny that i enjoyed it sometimes, because i was kind of conditioned to

being molested felt good

File: Snapchat-282871281.jpg (225KB, 720x1280px) Image search: [Google]

225KB, 720x1280px

>age 8
>friend's 12
>hanging out in attic
>friend suggests I pull down my pants
>bends me over "at least you won't be a virgin anymore"
>doesn't actually insert but gets me to play with his dick
>months later
>sleeping with him
>he gets us to compare sizes in bed
>he calls my dick small

This, along with many other psychosocial difficulties contributed to me wanting to be a serial killer. My murderous impulses are gone now but I had to tell a social worker at the mental hospital I was staying at that I no longer wanted to kill the guy who molested me in order to be released

Two separate situations.
First:
>Be me
>be 8/9
>Go to a swim camp daily
>Stay with my grandparents at night
> Get bullied by a group of older boys
> They push me around, try to condition meemtally to be bullied
>Eventually turns into more obvious physical abuse
>I'm too scared to tell anyone, so I attempt to fight back
>Progresses to a point where the bullying party of multiple boys drowns me, bringing me up for air and pushing me underwater again
>One, two maybe three (I can't tell how many as I'm underwater) of the boys feel me up, and reach under my shorts
>As I'm being held underwater one grabs my balls, one hand goes for my asshole, one is on my head, etc.
>I never told anyone, and was never sufficiently able to fight back
>Attempted to drown one of the kids when we were alone, didn't work
9/10

Later on, my father hosts a cookout for some friends from work and their families
>I had developed into a shy individual
>Opted to go into my basement and play video games rather than go outside with everyone
>The teenage daughter of one of my father's co-workers found her way into the house
>seemed like she was under the influence of something
>I talk to her, try to leave or get her to leave
>She squeezes me, puts her weight on me
>Smothers me with her tits, feels me up, grabs my balls (hurts)
>I can't move, and at this point in my life sexual contact has not panned out well for me
>forced to wait until she's tired or stops
>Someone else comes downstairs and she gets off of me
>We both act like nothing happened

Those two are short enough to consolidate into a post, but combined with forced exposure to porn by other children, bullying throughout my childhood, etc. I developed a permanent sexual problem.
I'm attracted to both sexes (not sure if it was natural or a development based on past events), I don't have problems being aroused but I have a permanent problem with intimacy and have a subliminal fear/dislike of children.

Alright so a little backstory, my father had gotten my aunt drunk and raped her when she was 15. Mother found out years later, divorced my father, moved us in with my grandparents, who my aunt (26 at the time) lives with. I was 9 at the time.

>Go to take shower
>Use aunts shower because someone is in the more communal one
>Two doors to bathroom, one goes to hallway and one goes to aunts bedroom
>Never lock the door that leads to aunts bedroom because the lock doesn't always work right and becomes jammed if you lock it
>Showering as normal when Aunt comes in and sits on toilet
>She starts taking a piss, and moans a little as it starts coming out, she proclaims how badly she had to go but was waiting so long because all the bathrooms were full. This probably led to my piss fetish
>While she is on the toilet she asks if her coming in bothers me, i respond no
>she gets up and disrobes and gets in the shower with me
>she tells me there is nothing wrong with showering together since we are family
>asks if i can help soap her up, squirts the soap in my hand and has me soap her back
>then has me soap her ass
>and then she has me soap her legs, and her crotch

Pretty much all that happened the first time, she started taking showers with me pretty often even as I started going through puberty. She'd always soap me up and I'd soap her up, eventually getting to touch every single inch of her thick body. Nothing progressed much past that until I started going through puberty, which I'll post about next

>>24763934

>Few years later, 13 now. Still taking showers with my aunt, not as often but especially when nobody else is home
>Her boyfriend leaves, they were in her room for a few hours
>She comes into the living room naked and asks if I need to take a shower since she's getting in
>"No, had one yesterday"
>She gets in my face "A boy your age needs to take a shower every day, otherwise you get stinky and no girls will be near you"
>I agree, and she has me go into the bedroom with her. She tells me she needs some help real quick before the shower and lays down on the bed, legs spread
>She tells me she is extra dirty and needs help before the shower, that her boyfriend left her a mess
>She has me start eating her out, I have no idea what I'm doing but she is guiding me along, telling me exactly what to do. Especially has me sucking on her a lot
>Little do I realize I was eating her boyfriends creampie out of her

>>24763996
Continued

>She eventually orgasms although I don't completely realize and then has me get naked to go get in the shower
>She sees that I'm erect (haven't even learned to jerk off by now) and asks me why that is
>I explain I don't know, it just happens like that a lot. Especially in the showers with her but I usually hide it
>Has me lay back on the bed, naked
>Starts groping on my penis, pretty hard at first but I complain and she softens up
>She starts stroking me and asks if I know what she's doing
>No I don't
>She explains she is doing something that should only be between people who love each other and is a huge secret between them, and is a way of showing you really love someone because you will never ever tell anyone about what happened
>She puts my member in her mouth and starts to suck, I cum almost immediately, she pulls it out and I cum all over her breasts
>She points to the cum after I regain my breath and tells me that was the same stuff I had to clean out of her and that the only way to clean it is to have someone lick it off
Sidenote, I seriously believed this into my early 30s and would always lick my cum off or out of a girl, up until I tried anal with my girlfriend for the first time in my life and tried to suck my cum out of her ass, she gets way uncomfortable and asks wtf, I confess all this shit to her. Now my wife, good woman.
>I lick my aunts tits clean and then we go shower like normal
This continued for years. When I was 17 she moved out but I'd go over to her place all the time to "hang out" and then moved in with her at 18. Lived there till I was 26 after she went to vegas single one weekend and came back with a husband, everything stopped and weeks later she had me moving into my own place. I didn't realize anything was wrong with the situation until I told my now wife then girlfriend about everything. There are a lot more stories, these were just the ones that started it all.

>>24764001
Do you consider this a permanent problem, having made some relationships and interactions in your life weird?

>>24764001
was she hot?

>>24763128
disgusting, you should all kys

>>24764087
>disgusting, you should all kys
A well reasoned point.

Hooking up the helium tank now. See you on the other side folks.

>>24764001
ok saying you didn't know that was weird till you were 26, there's no way you didn't know as a grown adult that it's not OK to be fucking your aunt.

>>24764120
He means he thought it was normal to lick your jizz up after sex

>>24763812
Wow

>>24763372
>>24763389

The best way for me to get off, is to dry hump my partner's leg, especially if she's wearing stockings or pantyhose.
Got fucked up like that when I was about 4 or 5. I just find vaginal sex kinda boring. So sad.

>>24764149
> Lived there till I was 26 after she went to vegas single one weekend and came back with a husband, everything stopped and weeks later she had me moving into my own place. I didn't realize anything was wrong with the situation until I told my now wife then girlfriend about everything.

na I think he means he lived with and fucked his aunt tillhe was 26

>>24763322

Wow, what you experienced was pretty fucking awful. I am also a bit of a broken man, but for a different reason. I had both a mom and a dad and a pretty happy childhood for about 15 years. They're both gone now and I'd guess I'm only slightly older than you. I watched my dad die one night and it haunts me. I'm the victim of a home invasion gone horribly wrong. Accidental homicide is pretty fucking terrible. Then again I don't really know if it even was accidental. Dad was a very large man and had already suffered several heart attacks. That last one though... I remember it like it was yesterday.

I'm replying for a different reason though. My life has been pretty fucking lonely because of some very serious trust issues. I've never truly been able to connect with anyone and then successfully let them into my life because I'm too afraid of losing them. I'm a forever alone at least partly because of that night. That's why I sometimes wish I had been molested as a kid. At least then I'd probably be sexually active now and I have little doubt that my views on human sexuality and how it relates to me would actually be healthier than they are right now. The crushing loneliness of never being able to let someone in has been tearing me up lately. It sure didn't help that less than a decade later mom died of cancer. Thanks, life. You've been swell.

I hope my strange reaction to your story isn't too off putting, but I just feel the need to let it out sometimes. You seemed to really enjoy what you did with him up until he crossed that line. It's very sad that it happened and I truly feel bad for that little boy. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd committed suicide by now, but man I hope not.

>>24764302
Then youre retarded

>>24764533
your the one who was wrong and didn't read what the guy said properly

>>24764784
no u

Well here's mine. Idk if it damaged me or not.
> be like 7 or 8
> at the mall with parents
> tiny bladder have to take a piss
> "hey dad brb need to take a piss"
> go to bathroom
> 3 urinals, guy taking a piss in the middle one
> go to the farthest one near the stall since it was the closest near the ground and just my height
> pay no attention to the man
> unbutton pants, pull dick over briefs
> see the man look over at me then my dick
> clean shaven white guy with green eyes
> he takes a step back and flashes me his dick. Pretty huge hairy dick
> I'm getting a bit scared that I stop peeing and just stare
> he starts jackin off a bit
> guy comes to my urinal, and grabs my dick
> he tells me to grab his or he will hit me
> grab his huge dick with my tiny hand
> I felt his heartbeat while holding it
> he licked my dick
> he keeps jacking until he cums on the urinal
> he walks out of there like a bat out of hell
> me still freaked out standing there
> have urge to take a piss
> finish taking a piss
> meet parents back at store
> didn't say a word, acted normal and went home
To this day if I'm taking a piss at a urnial and someone comes up to me and uses the one next to me I will stop pissing mid stream and pop a hard on.

>>24763372
Dude I'm almost exactly the same, I relate

>>24765059
>To this day if I'm taking a piss at a urnial and someone comes up to me and uses the one next to me I will stop pissing mid stream and pop a hard on.

That's an interesting reaction.

> be 12 or 13
> at school, must've just finished basketball or sports or whatever, go into change rooms
> somehow only me and this damaged cunt are in there, nobody else
> start to get changed, he enquires in some way about my jocks, like what picture's on them, superman or whatever
> confused, i tell him whatever picture it is
> he leans over and reaches down to see with his hands, slides his hand in the top of my jocks down to my junk
> i pull away, he says something i don't recall, maybe about it being "not a big deal"

That's about it; didn't damage me AFAIK but I did resolve, some time later, to kill him at some point in my life. I'm unsure whether I will, as I have mellowed considerably with age. I used to be an angry young man.

Never told anybody, not even the internet until now.

>>24763128
bumpan

>>24767404
You should force him to kill himself send him a fake letter from your "lawyer" saying a case is being opened on the incident since you finally came forward. Fuck that pedo

File: 124957345439.jpg (504KB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

504KB, 3264x2448px

>>24763128
I always wondered if there's any perpetrators of sexual assault here. Kind of want to know what it's like on the other side... Weird right?

Me and my female cousin started at me 8 her 7. By our stepgrandfather. Basically started out like he was really friendly, and alone would tickle us a ton which led turned into heavy petting and stuff like that.

Then when I was 14 got in a fucked up relationship that was abusive and was raped my first time, didnt tell anyone cos I didnt care.

Oh im a girl my cousin was a girl as well. Im 28 now, a neet, agoraphobic, ive never had a job, shut- in, severe depression I take ssris - prozac. pic is an old one of me. I was about 20. i was a big cutter for years

>>24763133
I've read your story before. How old are you now? Are you mentally messed up?

Well I've got one, it's really short but I think it's related. Don't kill me.

>be me
>mom wanted to abort me but didn't in the end
>divorces dad
>dad keeps me, even names me Daria (gift)
>just keep living with him
>he's an alcoholic and doesn't give a fuck about me
>I turn 18
>he beats me up for anything he didn't like
>came to the point when I just beg him to stop it
>he decides to kick me out
>homeless and poor ever since but the military kinda saved me
>can't be touched by guys anymore at all, makes me panic

>>24767472
My bad, I should've made it clear he was the same age as me, not a teacher or a coach. Could be dismissed or passed off as a curious kid, not understanding what he was doing wasn't kosher.
Also, I'd prefer to kill him myself.

>>24767502
And you didn't beat this kid every day for the rest of his school life? You're such a pussy bro no offence.

>>24763597
>he loss of a sexual outlet at a time I was horny constantly
I can relate to this. When i was about 13 I chronically masturbated and was horny constantly, I still had never been penetrated by a dick or anything but Im pretty sure the molestation made me hyper sexual and i just knew I had to keep it a secret.

Im not a pedo but I'm attracted to young virgin guys (18- 21) who are too nervous to make any moves, always submissive guys. When i was about 20-21 I'd get off to videos of young girls with old guys but i never wanted to be one of the girls I just liked watching. Underaged nude kids are a huge trigger for me, as in reminds me of the abuse because I was abused with my cousin and I remember vividly what a young female childs nude body looks like. Even if I see this in a normal setting like someone trying to wash their kid off at the pool or something i start to feel extreme amounts of fear and rage.

But yea with my molestation too he was never threatening, angry, or mean, so he groomed us a lot. By buying us things and generally acting like a kid and relating to us. So its weird cos fear and anger didnt come till much later, I would always just get really really horny when he started introducing me to stuff. I remember I was a squirter long before I even started my period, so I wasn't even sexually mature. This kind of fucked me up and gave me major piss fascination/fear/fetishes too.

>>24767480
Is there no help out there for you :/ same type of story as you I self medicate weed,sniff pills anything to just get by I've always believed it was a punishment from god until I seen a doctor and got help.

>>24767480

I can just about guarantee that there are some perpetrators here. It's a lot easier to come forward as a victim because no one is going to blame you, but the exact opposite is true for the molesters themselves. It would not surprise me if at least one of the stories already posted in this thread was written in the perspective of someone that the poster molested because they feel like a piece of human shit for what they've done. You can also take into account that the pattern of abuse continues on to the next generation. Therefore it's entirely possibly that someone here who is a legitimate victim, of assault is now a perpetrator of similar assaults.

The human mind is pretty fucked up. Hate to say it.

>>24767545
I smoke weed, try not to do other stuff but did a lot of xanex and alcohol in the past which would cause massive mental breakdowns for me so I managed to stop.

>>24767550
I'm not sadistic towards partners but i do have attraction to teenage boys, what I do is just never be around them. But a guy I fucked a few years back was 19 but had much younger friends who hed show me pics and videos of (they were like 13 -15 age group) I found myself super attracted to them and my partner at first thought it was funny and a compliment, saying theyd be so flattered if they knew, but i was just like dont tell them and dont ever bring them around.

>>24767560
I think its a real condition.I have the same thing except I'm the other end of the spectrum. Since what happened to me I've always had a weird atraction to older women, I always played it of as an older woman fetish when I got to college but it was way deeper than that I've never been able to be sexually stimulated by girls my own age. I was very sexually active in High school And its messed up to say but I have had sex with by definition of 14 pedofiles between the ages of 15/17.

My mom met a guy when I was 7, they moved in together and got married. My real dad was pretty absent and this man quickly became the object of my fatherly affection. When I was 9 they got married, when I was 12 he started behaving sexually with me, took my virginity at 14 and so on. It went on until they split up when I was 17.

No one knows but he and I, none of my boyfriends after knew. My fiance has no idea either. It's kind of messed up my brain a bit but I'll never talk to someone in real life about it.

I kind of miss it sometimes.

>>24767574
wait so you sought out older women who were pedophiles?

Which posts did you tell your story? Sorry im, really high right now so all the spelling errors and shit.

>>24767584
No I sought out older women and since I slept with most of them they are by definition pedofiles cause I started around 14/15. I didn't really post my story I was just replying to the woman who unfortunately self harms because our stories are weirdly similar

>>24767597
ooh are you a girl?

>>24767604
No I'm a guy.

>>24767611
Oh ok.

I'm so tired of this shit desu senpai.

>>24767583
I kind of feel like a giant freak/mess over the whole thing. I am in my late 20's now and still think about it. Trying to live this normal life and all this is going on in the backround.

>>24767614
Could you do me a favour and speak to someone, doctor,friend councillor etc. I don't know you but believe me I've been there and had the same thoughts as you but speaking to someone will do so much for you. I wouldn't be alive right know if I didn't seek help you can't just let it build up and suppress it with drugs it only works for so long. You are not broken.

>>24767617
Yup. Well I feel like I havent emotionally grown since I was 12. Normal life to me is not having mental breakdowns and going to the hospital for trying to kill myself. Which I actually havent for years but thats as normal as i have yet to get.

>>24767626
Ive already been through a llot of therapy.

>>24767480
Sorry if this is too personal, but are those cuts on your bum and pubic region (vagina) I've never heard of anyone who has done that there before and I've meet a lot of self harmers myself included

>>24767645
theres none on my vagina or ass but theres a lot on my tits.

>>24767645
really? not op but a lot of people cut there because it it's hidden with clothing

Wow some crazy shit here, I'm 19 and was jacked off by an older woman. To this day I love older women, it is a strange feeling. Kik me if you want to talk more alexx57

>>24767652
Why's that are you transexual? In the pic you seem to have cuts on your pubic
Region and bum.

>>24767655
I thought cutting private parts was something somebody who wanted to be born a different sex stuff like that.

>>24767659
id consider that more stomach/hip area

>>24767661
ive never heard that. unless u mean like self castration which is completely different

>>24767666
I'm not gonna zoom in and post close ups when it's clearly a personal pic but there's definitely cuts on the pubic area and you can't really see the rest of the bum but it looks covered.

>>24767652
Are you still here your best suited to answer these questions desu.

>>24767652

It's nice to see that the scars are old. It's good that you've stopped. That said, the pattern of scarring is actually somewhat appealing to me. It's sort of like you decorated your body.

>>24767659
no im not transsexual i just dont think theres cuts on those areas, im pretty sure since i did them all.

Used to get babysat by my uncle between about 8 and 10. had a cousin who was about 15 at the time and used to make me jerk him off and eventually give him head.

>>24767666
Yea this is what I meant.

look at those holy trips.

>>24767671
I have none on my bum.

>>24767694
>
i mean i havea bunch but started doing my left arm once it became public to my family when iwas like 23 or so

>>24767694
there might of been some rly rly old ones right above the mons publis like rly lower stomach, and theres none on my ass tho i did have a puimple there that left a scar

>>24767723
Was cutting above your pubic bone not really scary? Can't really see in the pic can you post a artistic pic of the scar so you don't have to show anything too private

>>24767757
i dont rly have a pic ans its prob soo light you cant see it anymore

>>24767757
its not scary unlesas you hit a vein bad

>>24767776
Have most of the scars cleared up abit I'm glad to hear that. Have you got anything you want to keep in touch over whatsapp, Snapchat etc if you want to ever talk about anything and can exchange advice.

i had this rly strong sense as a kid not to tell half out of embarrassment that im going to get in trouble for liking it. and being able to cum

>>24767801

Anon pls give contact info also show more cuts / scars thanks.

>be ~5 or 6, memory very blotchy
>playing in basement at a family member's holiday party
>sitting on couch under blanket watching some dumb kid show while all the adults do their shit
>"uncle" (actually a second uncle or something) comes down stairs, starts talking to me
>ends up wrapping me up in the blanket like a burrito, I thought it was funny
>somehow end up on the floor, still think it's funny
>he starts "tickling me" through the blanket
>puts his hands underneath the blanket "tickling" my chest and privates
>ends up sticking his fingers in me
>memory ends there, no further recollection

>>24763128
child rape victim thread on 4chan..i'm sure this went well..

>>24768153

I'm rock hard right now.

>>24768380
it actually did and a lot of us found support but keep generalizing lmao!

Not sure if you consider it molested but I gave my father blow jobs and hand jobs when I was 12-14. Didn't realize what I was doing was wrong.

>>24768439
Are you a grill. How did it start.

STORYTIME
>I was 4
Female btw
>lived in apartments with courtyard, pool, and picnic area way in the corner out of view
>meet another 4yo girl (first girl I've met. My parents are overprotective and strict Catholics. They never let me play with anyone)
>my dad let us play
>we ran under the picnic tables
>she said "I bet you can't do this"
She was laying belly down and pushing her pussy to the ground
>I did it and it was the best feeling ever
I got hot and sweaty
>her mom yelled at her to come in
And I never saw her again

>it felt so good that I knew it must be a bad thing and I have to keep it secret
>I put pressure to my pussy almost every day since and came often
>my family caught me a few times
>I got yelled at and whipped for it
>my family called it "getting hot" in our language

Again, they didn't let me play with anyone or do anything
It was school, chores, and church every

>when I was 5, my sister whispered "do y want to get hot?"
Our family was gone that day so it was just me and her
>I got scared that if I said yes, she would tell dad and he'd whip me again so I didn't say anything
>she led me to her room, locked the door (which is not allowed in our family)
>it felt really wrong
>she laid me on top of her and we pushed our vaginas together
>I came so much
>we did this a few times
She wrote it in her diary so I think she got in trouble and whipped for it

I'm currently in my 20s
I live with my bf who's so much older than me but he's been the most positive driving force in my life. He's nurturing me to become independent and I'm so grateful for that.
I kept him a secret for 2 years before I told my mom to make sure he would be good for me.
I took my mom out for dinner, got her a few martinis, told her. She gave me a death stare and then let out a big laugh.
My family thought it was a weird relationship at first, but are okay with it since I'm finally living freely and doing whatever I want.

>>24768426
half you fags are literally getting your rocks off reading this shit here and most of the other half are making shit up as fantasy or making their molestation try to sound hot. It only went well if you're a pedo and this is your kink.

>>24768443
Yes, I'm a female. I've told the story before.

>I'm 12
>parents are drunks
>typical evening is father comes home, mother is already drunk
>dinner, fight starts
>father leaves for bar, mother gets on couch and drinks until she passes out
>I clean the kitchen, get my 2-year old brother into bed
>one night father comes home and heads for the bathroom
>I'm awake and can hear him moaning in the bathroom
>get up to see if he needs help (more than one time I've had to help him up off the floor because he's shitfaced)
>look in bathroom and father is masturbating
>watch as he strokes himself until he cums all over the toilet (note: I had no idea what he was doing)
>goes to leave so I run back to bed
>few nights later same thing happens
>this time I'm watching and he sees me
>yells at me to come in
>says if I'm going to watch I need to help him
>takes my hand in his and jerks off with it
>few minutes later he cums on the floor
>just says "clean that shit up" and staggers off to bed
>becomes routine... hear him come in, give him a hand, clean up, go to bed

>>24768935

Why did you inevitably stop?

If I had the chance I would happily pull the trigger if I ever caught someone doing any of the shit I've been reading in here.

I'm not even a parent, but the thought is making me blind with rage.

>>24768970
I was 14 at the time and walking with my friends and one of them mentioned that another girl's friend was touched by her father and all the other girls went "ewwwwww..."

After that I asked an aunt in a roundabout way and she explained sex to me. At that point I just stopped getting up when my father came home.

>>24769004
And he never tried anything? He just let it stop abruptly?

>>24769021
I never talked to him but I'm sure he felt it was wrong, until he was drunk and then he just wanted to use my hand or mouth to get off. He probably realized that I now realized it was wrong. He never pushed it after I stopped.

>>24767534
More details came back to me; he would've been 1-3 years older and a giant retard compared to little autistic me. Imagine Sloth vs the kid from the Wizard. Also, I changed schools soon 3 times between 12 and 15; this was at school #2 of 4.

>>24763128

F24

>Grooming started from when I could first remember. Outings, presents, ego petting
>molestation started at 7. Inappropriate touching, non penetrative sex, voyeurism.
>rape at 9. He would give me a bedtime drink beforehand and I remember feeling like lead with him on top of me.
>mother was abusive herself and didn't believe me, didn't help that the guy gave her money sometimes (he was a family friend)
>he moved away to a different state for a few years, would end my mom money to make me visit.
>He would take me out into the Arizona desert in to couples cabins with hot tubs in them. He stopped giving me the bedtime drink so much.
>he has a thing for biting, licking/ slobbering, dirty talking, punishment.
>He moved back into town a couple years later and invited me over to help set up his new place
>"hey anon wnt some booze and a massage"
>no thank you
>well you are getting a massage anyways
>I'm tired I'm going to bed
>Follows me into the guest room and stares at me, says he loves me.
>tries to hold me down and starts to bite an lick me
>kick him off before he pins my legs and run away down the street to the nearest lit up gas station and call the cops

He fled the state and went to Arizona to hide, had a couple other families/ girls he was abusing. Cops got him and other girls from Indiana, where he was originally from, came forward.

Heres one of his arrest records

http://florida.arrests.org/Arrests/Dan_Keck_5008755/

>>24769164
>Heres one of his arrest records
404
this? http://florida.arrests.org/Arrests/Dan_Keck_5791305/

>>24769228
Yep, thats the one they took when Arizona released him into FL custody. A couple years on the run followed by bouncing from prison system to prison system to be extradited by different states for 6 different trials will make you look like that senpai.

>>24767495
I'm 41 now. I am better. No one is ever really fixed. I am happy though


>>24769164
Fucking hell.

>>24768934
Some people are only comfortable talking about it on anonymous platforms. Not everyone on here saying 'muh dick' means it they are being trolls. Unfortunately some people get fucked up fetishes and other shit from that kind of abuse and this is one of the only places they can talk about it.

>>24768886
>hey didn't let me play with anyone or do anything
>It was school, chores, and church every
>
>>when I was 5, my sister whispered "do y want to get hot?"
>Our family was gone that day so it was just me and her
>>I got scared that if I said yes, she would tell dad and he'd whip me again so I didn't say anything
>>she led me to her room, locked the door (which is not allowed in our family)
>>it felt really wrong
>>she laid me on top of her and we pushed our vaginas together
>>I came so much
>>we did this a few times
>She wrote it in her diary so I think she got in trouble and whipped for it
>
>I'm currently in my 20s
>I live with my bf who's so much older than me but he's been the most positive driving force in my life. He's nurturing me to become independent and I'm so grateful for that.
>I kept him a secret for 2 years before I told my mom to make sure he would be good for me.
>I took my mom out for dinner, got her a few martinis, told her. She gave me a death stare and then let out a big laugh.
>My family thought it was a weird relationship at first, but are okay with it since I'm finally living freely and doing whatever I want.


Hot! And good for you. How's your sister now?

>>24769422

I'm >>24769164. Took years of therapy after getting away from my mother to be functional. I still see a therapist and have some minor issues but I' pretty much a completely different person now than from when I first started therapy.

The trials were rough. The oldest girl that came forward (from indy) was past the statute of limitations, but there was another younger girl that they could press charges for. 3 younger kids from Arizona, 2 girls 1 boy. 1 girl and the boy were siblings. Then I was in the middle age group. He liked souvenirs. He made the little boy and girl do things to each other and recorded it with a tape recorder, I know this because I found it and played it. He put it on my nightstand in the guest room, It was the only thing in the room besides the furniture. He wanted me to find it, an listen to a couple of elementary school kids fuck each other while he talked them through it.

The other Arizona girl actually came to visit him right before he fled (the police told me to act like I didn't tell so they had more time to build a case and get an arrest warrant). 2 days into the visit she went to a neighbors house while he was out and asked to be driven to the airport.

After they had processed the DNA they took off me, had the recordings he would send to my phone saying that he was sorry and would take me shopping, and another phone conversation that the police recorded where I asked him what he did and why and he confessed and told me he would 'make it all better', it finally went to court. They fucked up the paperwork and did have a warrant number on it, so they couldn't legally arrest him. He ran as soon as he left the court house. The officers started to reach out to other families he had contact with to see where he ran. Eventually found that family in Arizona with the two kids. He was living near by and helping the parents by babysitting the kids. They told the parents whats up and contacted the local police. He was arrested.

>>24769499
He stayed in Arizona for the duration of those investigations and trials. The attorneys for the case asked me to fly out and testify to help the younger kids. I was so nervous, but I wanted nothing more than to hammer his coffin closed and have him watch me do it. The Indy girl who could get a trial was close to my age and they didn't need to fly me out. Finally they brought him to FL, and I was the only case were he pleaded guilty.

Everyone always preaches on about forgiving your enemies and how revenge will eat you. But that only works when your enemy can feel remorse, when they aren't unrepentant predators. I will never forget the look on his face when I told everyone in that courtroom exactly what he did to me. Thats why he looks like that in the picture compared to earlier photos, he finally knew what it felt like to be at some elses mercy and completely helpless. Unfortunately for him I learned from the best on how to completely fuck someone.

>>24769164
>dan keck
kek

>>24769305
>>24769499
>>24769548

what's funny about this to me, because I'm a sociopath, is that no matter how much revenge you get on this guy he still busted all kinds of nuts up in your pussy and you can never undo that

>>24769548

It's good that you got to do that. I'm sure you sleep better at night knowing that he's not hurting anyone now. Ohh and I'm surer he's been jail raped a whole bunch of times, too.

>>24769809

Did you really need to say that?

>>24769467
She's married with 5 kids but they're wealthy and well taken cared of.
Her and I call each other twice a month and talk. We never bring up the sex.

>>24769809
I know, thats why it felt good to have the last word in it in a way.

>>24770552
Did you get the last word, though? He's a sad old man who's going to die in prison, and probably doesn't have many years left. You get to live the rest of your long life (I imagine you're young still, and women live longer than men anyway) - and every year you live, you'll be haunted by nightmares and memories of him fucking you. You'll probably never be able to have a normal relationship in the way that regular people do, your entire life will be colored by this long after he's dead.

>>24770576
But it wont be because I'm not a sad cunt who's going to let it happen. Yeah, I can't erase it, but it doesn't have to control my life. I've gone to therapy, i've jumped the hurdles. I'm pretty successful for the people who are around my age in the area I live in. 99% of my life is normal. Every once in a while that 1% pops up but it never stays for long.

I could have done what the oldest girl did and just let it happen until he thought I was too old and then watch as he moved on to others girls, never to speak about it to anyone and let it eat at me everyday knowing I did nothing.

The moment I figured out what was going on and could physically do something about it I put that fucker in a cage. And kicked my own ass in therapy.

>>24770728
Therapy is nonsense. One day you're going to wake up and realize you're the same scared, vulnerable little girl you were when he was raping you. Shit, I'd bet money you already have a secret rape fetish on account of it. How does it feel knowing almost any man could overpower you in about half a second and take what he wants from you physically?

Your post reads like someone trying to convince themselves everything is okay. Sure, there are certain outward signs of "success" - a job, etc - but you're always going to wake up in the middle of the night hyperventilating because grandpa was shooting a load in your pussy in your dream.

tl;dr it doesn't really matter whether you did something about it or not. Your life is fucked forever, and you're just desperately trying to pretend you have control at this point.

>>24770767

You aren't very good at this. People experience personal growth, you know. Well, those of us who aren't sociopaths.

>be me 8
>move in with moms gf
>moms gf has a son hes 15
>me and him sleep in same room
>one night im trying to get to sleep
>he whispers "hey anon come here"
>i climb down (bunkbed) to see what he wants
>hes playing with his dick
>first time seeing a penis that big (had done sexual stuff with other boys my age before)
>he ask me if i want to touch it
>its soft and fun to play with but is hard soon after i start
>hes hard as diamonds
>he ask me to suck him
>it was too big to fit in my mouth so i tried to just fit the tip in
>Still too big, teeth are hurting him
>he starts jerking off
>i get bored and go back up to my bunk
>he says "dont tell our moms or we'll get in big trouble!
This was just the start of it he didnt technically molest me since i was already pretty gay at that point the age difference was the only thing new to me

>>24770795
>personal growth
Nice meme. That tends to be a story people tell themselves - or in your case, a story told to you by some idiot therapist who barely made it through her psych degree, then gets paid hundreds of dollars an hour to fill your soft brain with bullshit.

How does it feel knowing you paid out the ass to be reprogrammed, and still get to deal with the nightmares and never having a normal relationship? Can't grow past an old man cumming in your pussy countless times during your formative years, kiddo.

>>24770859

I find it hilarious that you think you know so damned much about me. I haven't paid out the ass for therapy because I really don't care for it. I don't need to pay someone to be my friend once a week or once a month. I just deal with my own shit. Personal growth is real, but you're too much of a manchild to experience it. Have fun eating taquitos in your mom's basement.

>>24770887
Hey, I'm eating calzones in my own basement thank you very much.

>9 years old
>mum is an alcoholic lunatic
>mum leaves home, takes me with her
>mum finds a boyfriend
>fat, hairy, long hair, bad hygiene, obsessed with classic rock
>move in with boyfriend
>I often just walked around in panties; never liked clothes
>'jokingly' called me mums replacement
>two months later
>boyfriend goes into my room and pins me down
>hand over mouth
>dick in vagina
>remove and insert as desired
>boyfriend leaves room
>heavy crying
>next day
>tells mum what happened
>'that's what you get for being a fucking tease'
>rinse and repeat for 4 or so years
>mum gets sick of his 'cheating leaves him

Side effects include night terrors, aversion to things relating to him, aversion to restriction, aversion to inability to communicate in sexual endeavours, and sensitivity to nonconsent things.

Mostly, I think I turned out alright and it hasn't affected me too much.

>>24771071
I think you're secretly a girl I knew once

are you british and have a giant jaw

>>24771143
I doubt it'd be a secret, more than a few people from soc know me and this story.

>are you British and have a giant jaw

I am not British, and I don't think I have a giant jaw.

>>24768934
>It only went well if you're a pedo and this is your kink.
That doesnt even make sense. If someone was molested/hurt it never went well, does that mean we shouldnt ever talk about it and pretend it doesn't exist? if it makes you uncomfortable just leave.

>>24769809
Wow what a big strong dark man, Sasuke! How impressive you are a sociopath!Spooky scary!

>Your life is fucked forever, and you're just desperately trying to pretend you have control at this point.

You are a random person who's trying to upset rape victims lol, and somehow she's the one who's fucked and 'desperately trying to pretend she has control'? Lol. You are literally bottom of the barrel pathetic. Im pretty sure sociopaths are the ones who are completely fucked, you can't take back the power you don't have no matter how many people you rape and convince yourself that you've 'ruined' or 'broken'. You are still empty, sociopath.

22 y.o. femanon here.
Emotionally abused by mother growing up. Sexually abused by father during my teens. Now don't speak to my dad and only occassionally visit my mum (they're not together).
My bf know about some of the abuse but never the full extent. He thinks it was just oral and stuff. Hate the idea of him looking at me differently the more her knows.

>>24767480
>>24767550

Yeah, I can tell a story from the "perpetrator" perspective if you want. Kinda similar to OP's, except I was a bit more romantic and I didn't get weird by involving other people, I was genuinely trying to have a romantic relationship with someone who just happened to be a preteen.

I'm really sorry about what happened to you, though. :(

>>24771883
>no matter how many people you rape
>you don't have power
I'm pretty sure that's a really direct, obvious form of power - are you retarded? Are you saying that someone who literally bends you over and fucks you against your will doesn't have incredible power over you?

>>24772348
>>24772330
why delete?

I need help And this actually looks like somewhere where i can get some support

im 25M this all happened when i was 4-12

I had abusive druggie parents, who were always methed out of thier minds, got beaten on a regular basis, blamed by brother and sister for things that wasnt my fault: chores, broken things etc...etc...., Parents believed them because they were older and i was just a stupid kid, parents didnt care that brother and sister beat me up

"it'll make you toughen up"
"stop crying"
"dont be a taddle tail"
all things i was told on the regular

>started sicne i can remember
>Brother and sister older than me, one was 10 when i was 4 brother was 12
>whenever we were alone, parents not home, left w/e, they were druggies, happened all the time. Brother asked if i wanted to do "fun stuff"
>fun stuff was code
>didnt know what it was or that it was wrong, but brother liked me for, it, so i did it to get him and sister to like me
>lots of dick sucking, sticking my face in his butt/inbetween her legs, he sucked me, she sucked me, i sucked and licked them
>tasted funny but w/e the laughed so i kept going
>went on like that for years
>8 years old brother and sister fuck regularly,
>brother invites me one time and sister gets on top of me, starts sucking me with her crotch over me
>by now, i knew what to do, fingers etc.....
>something different happened, got a boner and sister climbed down
>"hey anon, you like me right?"
>yeah, i love you, your my sis
>she sticks my dick in her and tells me to move, casue i like her and it makes her like me
just move and feel wierd
>tell sister to stop because it kinda hurts,
>brother climbs on top, pins my arms under his legs, forces me to suck him off
>cry
>scream for help, lived in country, no one home, no help
>dont remember much after that time during that episode

cont.

>>24772381
Happened like that for years, brother penetraded me, sister used fingers on me, One day, teacher sees my brusies
>what are those?
>brother and sister did that
>do your parents know?
>they did these *lifts shirt to show brusied ribs*
>police get called
>therapy
>jumped from foster home to foster home because parents traumatized me for doing chores
>scared of chores and doing them wrong
>scared to let anyone close to me

I started talking to a therapist about my not able to focus on tasks

Was diagnosed with Dissociative disored, PTSD, Adult ADHD,

Therapist wants to only talk about the abuse, i dont want to relive the memories, so i stopped going.

I cant do chores well, i cant clean well, i cant focus on work, I cant keep a solid job because im to afraid to fail at things or i cant focus on tasks. I just feel like a failure at life and i cant do anything about it, Constantly consider suicide but i know i shouldnt.

>>24772389
that is awful for your therapist to not respect your boundaries. i know it's hard (been through countless therapists since i was 9 and i'm 25 now) but i finally found one i click with. if there's more clinics in your area maybe consider continuing your search. i thought therapy wasn't for me until i started seeing this girl.

i have the same kind of fears of failure and seeing her is really helping me get my confidence back.

>>24772484
ive been with this girl for about 6 years now, and she gets mad if i do something wrong, or frustrated that its not done well enough, She is trying to help me though my fears of failures and chores, but its just not working, and ive put so much stress on her, its killing me. but im too afraid of being alone. I know i shouldnt be with her, but i cant help it.

>>24772492
i meant about finding a new therapist, but it also seems like your partner isn't supportive either. but i understand if you can't let her go if she is your only support system.

>>24772498
oh, well thank you. I am trying to find someone who sticks, but im not having any luck

>>24772502
i understand. try to keep at it if you can afford it. i wish you luck!

>>24772236
To a really superficial person sure, but since you are a sociopath you have no concept of anything other than the superficial world which is sad. I could go step on a kitten right now, doesn't make me a big strong man.

I feel so bad for you. Way worse than for anyone in this thread.

>>24772583
This is the dumbest shit I've ever heard.

"This guy can hold me down and cum in my pussy, but I'm the one with the REAL power here!"

This is a dumb, hyper-feminine perspective that completely disregards reality in favor of feelgood thinking.

I am thankful every day of my life that I am the way I am, and put reality at a premium. If you someone like you "feels bad for me", that only makes me feel better about myself - means I'm doing something right.

File: 5072218_vatszeg4.jpg (14KB, 400x276px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 400x276px

>>24763128
I was.

>be me, 4 year old kid going on 5
>summer time, I'm happy to be going to school soon like all the "big kids" in a few months time
>get dropped off to baby sitter's house 5 times weekly for 4 hours
>baby sitter has a drug problem my parents weren't aware of
>has a live in boyfriend/dealer she gets high with and fucks almost every time after I'm dropped off
>"supervision" is minimal at best
>babysitter has an 11 year old son
>he doesn't appreciate his druggie mom dumping her childcare responsibilities for me on to him
>and he lets me know how pissed he is to have to watch me
>week one: verbal abuse
>verbal abuse leads to me getting my shit slapped up after the taunting starts losses its impact
>week two and babysitter catches son slapping my shit up
>tells coke head live in bf who proceeds to slap sons shit up and promises to "punish him more later"
>no fucks given on my end, he deserved it and now might not hit me anymore
>not so fast, babysitter's son hits me less, but substitutes food deprivation for physical abuse.
>food is earned for entertaining him
>watching 4 year old boys strip naked, touch themselves, stroke him, or drink his piss from thermos lid cups are his idea of entertainment
(pic uncomfortably related)
>babysitter's son says he's not even punishing me hard like his mom's bf punishes him and Im lucky he likes me
>obvious cycle of abuse is obvious
>he warns he will though if I disobey

>>24773256
>the little stripper/hand job giver/piss drinker act gets old fast
>by week 4 I'm never hungry; even when Im starving
>babysiter's son is on to me, makes entertainment mandatory whether I eat or don't
>"Ok Anon, this time you're gonna drink the pee straight out of me instead of the cup"
>FTFY
>n-n-no
>"WHAT?"
>no
>babysitter's son proceeds to smack my shit up with the force of 1000 exploding suns
>"Now suck it and suck the pee out later too!"
>FTFY, no!
>get shorts pulled down
>babysitter's son grabs my cocklet and ballsack in his left hand
>picks up an unshaded lamp that was on forever
>proceeds to burn me with the lightbulb right above the cocklet and holds it there
>either the stifled screams of me getting my shit slapped earlier or my current wails from the peudo branding I was getting got the coke head babysitter's attention
>door swings open and mom catches son in the act.
>she slaps his shit briefly, tells him he can't play with me like this and tries to ointment/bandage me up.
>tells my mother straight faced that I got a hold of matches earlier and burnt myself
>she made it crystal clear to me earlier that If I told otherwise she would take me away from my Mom and Dad so I just sit tight lipped
>Mom keeps asking if Im ok and if something happened
>no words
>saynothingforgeteverything.exe
>my Mom must have suspected something because I was never dropped off to the babysitter's house again.
>just wish she caught on to more much sooner
>can't blame her though, I never spoke out about any of it
>convince myself that the burn scar is a birthmark and nothing ever happened.
>works like a charm
>be 27 in a stall in the mens room of a club drunk as fuck taking a leak
>Look down and think "Gee, my birthmark has completely disappeared, Nice!"
>"Wait a sec Anon...birthmarks never fade"
>mental block broken. loading suppressed memories, please stand by...
fin