/SOC/ can we talk. singles? why are we single? im not talking

i'm single because i'm fat soooo

>>24604686
fat people need love too right?

>>24604674
All you can do is ask her out.

dont want to get too attached, hate the feeling of love, i have a weird definition of love, sex is the closest i can get to someone

>>24604690
we do, but honestly i understand why people aren't attracted to me. it doesn't make it fair and it really sucks because i'm trying so fucking hard to lose weight, but i get it. i wouldn't fuck me either.

I used to be interesting, and I'm not anymore.
Now I don't think anyone could be genuinely interested in me, so I just don't allow romantic gestures at all.

but like. ok here is the thing. it may sound soft as shit but fuck it that's why we stay anonymous. isn't there a person you want to share your life with. hold close, do stupid shit together with and let them into who you are as a whole and not be judged by them but be accepted. be able to be open with about everything and be able to compromise. i want to say "i am dave exclamation-mark yognaught" salute them and they salute me back. its shit like that and so much more. but its deep.... its complicated. i dont get why this shit is so hard.

>>24604674
Used to think it was possibly because I was just unattractive, but now I guess there's something in my personality that girls just get tired of and move past for someone better.

I'm single because physical attributes (I'm 5'4" and maybe 105lbs on a good day) and because I tend to push girls away once I feel that there may be a chance because I don't want to face the possibility of her saying no/ not sharing the same attraction/feelings
I also have a lot of trouble trying to make decisions for myself, and ultimatly I think I am just scared of all the possibilities and negative outcomes...

Because I am some kind of social phobia.

Because I have never been in a relationship and don't know how to talk to girls or just other dudes in a casual manner

Because I am unattractive and have little to offer anyone in a relationship

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I've had some major issues with the way things turned out the few times I've tried to date (or in one case, thought I was actively dating but was apparently mistaken).
I'm still young, and there's plenty of women out there, but at this point I feel like trying to actively pursue that would just lead to more frustration and heartache for me.
I can be happy without being in a relationship, so I just don't really try anymore.

its just tough man. its been over a year since my last relationship. i got a heart of gold. those who know me can testify. i had a daughter to this girl. i love my little girl to death and it kills me to watch her go out the door with her mom and leave me alone for 4 days. its crazy i get it. but this lonely shit i deal with day to day. i just don't get why people get tossed to the side of the curb like pieces of shit. its not good. its not right. i just want to be loved.

>>24604674
Because I like my independence too much. I tend to always blow off girls after a week or two, merely because I can't stand having to talk every single day for hours on end

1. I know exactly what I want and don't want in a relationship and a partner, but finding both the optimal person and optimal relationship is too rare.

2. My interests and hobbies matter a lot, but it's hard to find mature, mindful people who are into similar things.

3. It's not like no one wants to be with me, I've regularly got at least half a dozen people gnawing at my shins, but then they get clingy, or entitled, or make it apparent their attraction is more superficial than personal, and it ends up being hard to trust guys.

4. Major disconnects with my family, school, disability, and career situation, and a lot of people not really willing to be understanding.

5. I'm incredibly independent and kind of the "quiet but dominant" type, which tends to either intimidate the people I like, or attract a lot of submissive types I don't want.

>>24604674
I'm single because I've forgotten how to let people in, or it might be because I've forgotten how to care about someone other than myself. They can tell too. That is, whoever it I talk to can tell. It's never instant, but I can see it in their eyes as time passes by, they know they're not getting past the surface. They know they don't mean much to me. I'm starting to think that I'm too jaded to ever get into a relationship again. Sometimes I dream of living alone in the mountains, just me and my books. Anyway, that's why I'm single

No reason to leave the house desu

>>24604674
Too busy with school (engineering, last year). Last gf pretty much ghosted me because i was too busy all the time. So now I just stick to casual hook ups.

>>24604674
I'm single because I don't know how to treat people. I haven't had any friends in 10 years and I was raised by abusive women. I don't trust anyone. People can practically smell depression through my pores and they avoid me like the plague. I've never had a girlfriend and probably never will because of my hopelessly shitty attitude. No one understands that I don't know how to give or receive love because I don't believe it exists.

Had my shot and blew it.
Now, I'm perfectly fine with being single.

>>24604967
How? Why?
Like that means the other person is just a tart

>>24604970
Got scared and bailed on her. And out of shame vanished for about 3 months.
Basically I fucked up and made it 10x worse.

>>24604984
Don't get scared and try again. Not really a fuck up, you didn't feel right.

>>24604989
Yeah, she's married now.
The only other girl I've had feelings for basically ignores my existence.
But I'm five with it, I've never been much of a people person. I have more fun innawoods alone than I do around people.

My mother left when I was 3, so I connect with women very easily emotionally. However, because my mother left I have trust issues, and I do not open up to anyone; especially with females. The only girl I ever trusted enough to let in hurt me pretty good, so that just made it worse.

Single because guy I'm interested in lives half a country away and is waiting until he sees me again in person to ask me to make it official. Three weeks left. Also because my ex was an abusive asshole and gave me a whole bunch of trust issues.

>>24605038
>ex was an abusive asshole and gave me a whole bunch of trust issues.
Oh man, I feel you there.

>>24605064
It's the worst :P

>>24605038
Can you be trusted?

>>24605097
I'm just going to go to sleep.

>>24604674
I fell in love with a girl and at one point we were so in love it was crazy, then she hurt me unbelievably bad. Ever since then I've sorta just been floating through life, working a shit ton, playing sports and going to school.

I've gone on a few dates and try to get to know woman but I lose interest so fucking fast and I've realized for the rest of my life I'll have to settle because they will never be her.

Worse part is I play college athletics. I'm perfectly normal looking, actually in good shape and tall. I get attention from woman but I emotionally cant connect with them... the pain is gone and I'm not sad at all but i know I haven't moved on yet and love her still an insane amount.

>fuck me right?

>>24605198
I know that feeling bro. I know that feeling.
It's been two years and I still can't connect to women. Plenty of one night stands, dated a few for a few weeks. But nothing emotionally there. It's like being emotionally dead in one aspect of life

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>>24605198
Guess I'll add a little more.

She broke up with me randomly after a small argument the night before. Then I removed her from facebook/sc/unfollowed her IG because she wanted space and I didn't want to be reminded of her every day. Then after I reached out a month later she blocked me and pretty much told me she never wanted to see or talk to me again.

Haven't talked to her or seen her in 3months. Well I saw her once but she didn't see me and I decided to just let it go and went another way.

I wish her the best and will always love her, I guess I'm just a fool but she was special.

>>24604686
>>24604701
Well that's just silly. A whole lot of people are into that.

>>24531070

I'm not ugly, a lot of girls and guys have told me I'm cute. I'm just very picky. I'm outgoing but I also get very shy and awkward around girls I find attractive which makes them think I'm not interested. I've lost a few being too oblivious and naive as well.

A girl had stopped and asked me out at the mall just today while I was shopping, I politely turned her down.

The type of people in my city are a problem too, they're very boring and typical. I want to love and be loved, and cuddle and go on adventures. Wish me luck /soc/

I am extraordinarily ugly and as such I have been socially isolated from a very young age. As a result I remain preposterously hideous and also I have no social skills because no one ever wanted to talk to me.

>>24604908
See? No response. I literally get ignored everywhere I go.

>>24605307
>>24605307
>>24605307

>>24604674
>>24604697
I can't do long term stuff. I've had a few FWBs but thats the furthest I can go. Love just doesn't feel right for me.

I've recently got out of a few year long relationship with a girl who really knew how to manipulate. Kinda in that void of wanting to find someone else but also wanting to relax and be single

>>24605307
Hardly anyone got responses.

I'm single because I hate myself so much that my brain tells me everyone else does. If you don't you're lying, even if you're not lying.

I'm not even ugly and if I tried I could not be single in a month. I just have such low self esteem that I don't believe anyone when they say they like me.

>>24605396
That's a fair point.

Im so fucking clingy, like why??? Im not even that desperate, im good looking I can get girls but Im so clingy I cant get them to stay wtf do I do???

Because I'm a straight white male

>>24605307
Here's a (you) cheer up

>>24604686
>>24604690
being fat is not healthy plain and simple.
someone who is fat isn't taking taking care of their own physical well being
and therefore can't be trusted to take care of you or family
so no they don't deserve love
at least not from healthy people

>>24604674
>>24604709
>>24604818
a large number of people aren't lonely by choice
Work and other responsibilities sometimes get in the way

a large number of girls think of men as walking banks with free money
Modern women think that men owe them even before they marry and produce kids
Feminism has ruined women's marketability
Women have this mindset that they are equal to men
but still expect men to pay for everything
they seem to think if a guy doesn't have a house, car,
and large amounts of money in the bank, he isn't worth dating.
if that's the case then the same should apply to women
if she doesn't have a house, car, and large bank account
clearly she isn't responsible enough to be a wife

then there is Divorce
Given the discrimination against men in the family courts
taking half of everything the man owns
despite owning the property prior to the marriage
and on top of it stealing the Custody of the children
and then expecting the father to pay child support
with Zero to no visiting rights, is entirely unfair
especially given men are expected to be the breadwinner of the family.

frankly it's no wonder the suicide rates of men are higher than those of women
and it's no surprise men in large number refuse to get married
especially when women are only interested in taking advantage of men

>>24604674
I'm so jaded by my frantic scrambling attempts to find love in my teen years that now everyone just seems overly flawed and the second I think too much about someone, I lose all attraction.

I could have had someone amazing. We had different, but complimenting personalities, physically we were perfect for each other, all our flaws just made us love each other more and we just worked so well. Then it all fell apart because I made minor problems into impossible obstacles.

Now he's fucking a girl 6 years his junior who acts like a 14 year old with the body of a 12 year old, while I just can't move on. I just want it all back and even subject myself to the pain of being involved in their lives, only to suddenly turn on a dime and lose all attraction to him and the idea of us being together.

>>24604848
Assuming you're a woman
1. let me guess you have very high standards
Handsome as a movie star
Rich six figure salary if not a millionaire or billionare
Has at least one house and car, if not more
Will wine and dine you at fancy restaurant at least once a week
Will take you on a trip to mountains or overseas at least twice a year

if you can't afford to pay for what you want yourself
you have no right expecting a man to cover the bill

2. not everyone will have the same hobbies
even in a marriage you will have different hobbies and interests
have you tried introducing other people to your hobbies?
the easiest way to find other people that share the same interests
is to share your interests with those you date.
only dating people inside your small social circle
is horribly socially reclusive of you

3. you have commitment issues, part of being in love
is being clingy and possessive of the person you like.
it's a sign of loyalty,
and of course initial attraction is superficial
it's called infatuation for a reason, Love doesn't develop until
you take the time to actually get to know the other person
but you wouldn't know that as you just admitted
you've thrown every relationship away before love could develop past infatuation

4. if there are major disconnects between yourself, Family, classmates, and co-workers
it's a sign you have communication issues, namely the lack of communication
and your refusal to even try to communicate with those you interact with

5. Most men are Dominant, we like women who are submissive
Submissive men in contrast like dominant women
it's rare that a dominant man enjoys the company of a dominant woman
so frankly the problem is your personality
and the fact you prefer to blame everyone else for the problem you cause
either learn to enjoy the company you attract
or fix your personality, so you can attract the people you actually want.

>>24605038
if you were actually interested
you should be taking the initiative
you want to be with him
move to be closer to him
waiting for him to make the move
is very selfish and rude of you

Men 101
Never marry a woman, who loves you less, than you love her.

>>24605517
>all these bitter-ass assumptions.

>>24605562
>all these bitter-ass assumptions.
Blame feminism and the modern woman
-
And yet you didn't deny a single one
Meaning I was spot on

>>24605517
>Meaning I was spot on
Nah, because I honestly couldn't decide whether or not I should humour your asinine assumptions..

1. Knowing what I want in a partner and relationship has nothing to do with appearance or money. You're basing the entirety of this response off of pre-conceived notions and stereotypes about women, since nothing I said implies any of that.

I'm and anti-materialistic, former vagrant, and trust fund baby whose money is under the control of a financial adviser and I actively choose to only take out what I need for living expenses each month. So, there goes your entire "you have no right expecting a man to cover the bill". Oops.

Knowing what I want in a relationship has to do with ideals and how the guy carries himself. I'm nearing 30, have had enough flings and quarter-year relationships in my out of control younger years, so I have enough experience to know what I like and can't tolerate from a relationship standpoint.

2. I never even vaguely implied I only date people "within my small social circle", nor did I imply said circle was small. I'm convention trash who grew up on anime and video games, and cosplay is an important hobby of mine, but I often find that the con and cosplay community is rife with pettiness and vendetta. Likewise, I find a lot of people into anime and games have poor financial management (meaning I have to bail them out), or are sore losers in games.

3. You can be loyal without possessiveness. Possessiveness is sometimes a sign of insecurity and major trust issues, and is not a sign of a healthy adult relationship. "you've thrown every relationship away before love could develop past infatuation" Actually, I have loved three people who I've been in a relationship with, 4 who never made it that far due to various difficulties (distance, they weren't ready, needed to focus on job/school).

(cont)

>>24605632

What I meant by them making it clear their attraction is superficial, is that they focus too my on my appearance and presence, and seem unwilling to care about the person beneath all that even though I'm relatively open about my views and interests. I want someone who is interested in me as a person, not an accessory.

4. That was worded bad on my part. I meant I have major disconnects with potential partners who don't start out as friends, related to those subjects.

5. Actually, the dominance/submission thing is way more complex than that. If my dominance were a problem, I obviously wouldn't be having any of the issues outlined in the beginning of 3.

>>24605632
focusing on a job or school is a poor excuse for failing a relationship
and really there should be some possessiveness in a relationship
not enough to feel smothering, people do need some alone time.
but there should be some.

I'm single because I'm a depressed shut in and I'm fat. The shit is usually my personality isn't terrible, I'm cute, I would be gf material. But I never go out, I'm way too shy I'm not confident at all. I'm also so fucking depressed that I'm bed ridden, so yeah I'm single because of my own damn fault. I'm fussy online as well and I'm not good at weeding that bad people from the good people.

>>24605794
You're grasping at straws now.

>>24605228
yeah well, i'm a guy. if you'll notice, the male chub thread is almost entirely gay dudes. i'm straight.

>>24605454
also, dude. i may be fat, but i can lose weight. you can't fix being a fucking dickhole. i actually feel sorry for you.

>>24605517
>>24605482
How can someone be this bitter and clueless?

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>>24605794
No, just... no.

Focusing on a job or school is a very good reason for a failing relationship because a financially stable future is far more important than romantic partnership. Unless the person has the time and mental stability to focus on dating, or is already in a devoted and trusting relationship prior, then it can cause strain on their romantic life. Of course, I wasn't even talking about that since I said it was something that prevented a friendship from going to the next level- i.e. there was no "relationship" to begin with aside from close friends. It was a mutual decision not to move forward, but I don't owe you the details.

As the other Anon said, you're grasping at straws. I like how this was your only response- being a cantankerous ass and ignoring everything else to squeeze more negativity out of one tiny statement you clearly didn't understand.

Please stop trying to give advice in this thread. Its very obvious from how ridiculously self-focused and assumptive your responses to everyone were that you have an incredibly poor grasp on reality and either your social experiences are all negative or few and far between. Either way, you're not giving advice from a standpoint of wanting to genuinely help people and move them forward, you're giving "advice" to make yourself feel better and vent your own cynical bitterness towards society.

Broaden your view, and step outside of your tiny little world.

>>24606089
He's also not considering the fact that there are medical conditions that can cause weight problems (hyperthyroidism, for example), and someone who is skinny can have just as unhealthy a lifestyle, just to a lesser degree.

Keep yo chin up, fampai, and keep up those goals to lose weight. You'll make it someday.

>>24606074
The thread I linked is for either gender, and meant for contact. There are women who browse the male chub thread, but it's only for pictures and doesn't allow contactfagging.

19/f
I have no will to live. No one could ever love me because I am mediocre or below that threshold in every aspect. Even if someone decided to be with me it would be settling and they would probably ogle any girl that passed by wishing I was more like her. They would resent me once they fully knew me. I'm a piece of shit anyway so I can't blame them. That's why I'm single.

>>24604674
I'm nervous around women. My younger sister physically and emotionally abused me most of my life. My older sister acted as a mentor. I never had strong male role models outside of fictional characters.

After my last girlfriend--four years ago I dumped her--abused me, I've been more squirrely around women that attract me. At 28, I don't have much time left. Hopefully I'll keep my current job long enough to get medical benefits and go to therapy.

>>24606260
Sounds like you're on the self-loathing train at the moment.
It'll pass. No ones intrinsically unlovable.

And I'll let you in on a secret.
Most people "settle". They stick with the person they trust and enjoy being around more than the one they enjoy fucking the most.

Its why I'm with my girlfriend the now yet that crazy unstable 39 year old I fucked on and off last year was the best sex I ever had.

If asked to choose between; I'd always go for my girlfriend, because its not just sex or appearance with her. Its because I genuinely enjoy being around her and talking to her.

And most guys that are looking for more than a quick fuck will only have eyes for you. Guys won't admit how emotionally sensitive we actually are.

If you're a piece of shit or feel like you are, change that until you like it.
Oh and also realise what parts of you are non-negotiable. Like key interests and that. Never bend completely to please someone else, they'll either break up with you for being spineless or exploit you.

>>24606415
Thanks but this makes me feel worse and I've been feeling this way for a very long time in relation to how long I've been alive...from 6 onwards or so

I'm single right now cuz women drain all of you and i mean all (your time and persona) and I'm not willing to do that at the moment. I rather be alone right now than with someone else.

>>24606464
Then actually see a psych or something.
Genuine depression might be a thing for you. Trust me; my friend was diagnosed with depression.
He's not on pills but his sessions help him a ton , and he's genuinely doing well for himself now.

>>24606506
I have schizoaffective disorder. Treatment for me includes a mood stabiliser, an antipsychotic and benzos.
It's not called living, it's sleep walking at that point.

>>24606515
Not bullshitting but I know a guy who was schizophrenic (not sure what level he was at).
He took a ton of MDMA in his down-time and it got real fucking bad for him.

He takes some meds and tries to rely on themm as little as possible but I'm not gonna lie, being around him when he's not is tough. I can't know how your experience is but I can imagine its tough. Especially if you want to hold a relationship.

Sorry if that makes you feel worse. I'd try to explore every option available but I imagine you've already done that.

>>24604674
single bc cringey
also im lazy

Because I was raised with borderline Victorian morals that I can't seem to shake off. Resulting in an instant feeling of disgust for those around me since I live in an Uber liberal coastal city .

>>24606515
Human psychology isn't an easy beast to tame, since people function so differently. Often times it takes multiple tries with meds, therapists, and other methods before you find something that works.

Have you talked to your doctor about how your meds make you feel like a zombie, and asked about looking into other options?

I dont think i had a girl be interested or attracted to me as more than just friends. I've never had any girls approach me anywhere before, i'm ignored every time by girls when we go out and instead they go for my friends. It's like i'm invisible.
I had a small crush on this girl but later i realized that she is 7 years older than me and is married and has kids. Well i've seen her kiss my friend when we were out and she pretty much admitted liking my other friend.

I went to my first and last date earlier this year. The girl didn't like me.
I've been told i'm ugly before to my face by girls including my crush in school but i used to suffer from severe acne and i don't think i'm that ugly anymore. I had a girl tell me i was good looking after i sent her a pic but at the same time i've had a bunch of girls ghost on me or start talking with me less after i showed them how i look so i don't know.

Every girl I've ever been with has cheated on me and I'd say about 9/10 of the dates that I've arranged with girls they have not bothered to turn up or give me a reason why.

I'm sick and tired of being the one who puts in all the effort to ask them out, making the first move arrange the dates.

Seeing all my mates meet people and settle down is only compounding my depression, so I've regressed back to hermit mode and don't leave the house much now since I have next to no reason to and to protect myself from being used again

Because I'm fiercely independent and afraid of actually being in love. Few people have shown interest in me but I always find myself trying to find flaws or excuses that would justify pushing them away when in reality I'm terrified of committing to someone I don't know on a deeper level. This is why I only fall for women well after they've moved on and find someone else. Right now there's someone interested in me but I can't bring myself to advance things and commit. May be too late now because I've fucked up crucial moments and acted somewhat cold, turning them away before giving them a chance. Maybe I should just stay single, other people shouldn't have to deal with this bullshit.

>>24604674
I'm single because I'm gay and I can't come to terms with my sexuality. Now at 27 I don't think I ever will accept it.

>>24606726
Why can't you come to terms with it? If you're straight, bi, or gay, you are what you are. Who cares?

>>24605447
Wtf are you doing here then? Ima report your post, freak!

But seriously, the only thing wrong with being single is if you don't want to be. Being single in and of itself is terrific. I am by far my most adventurous, worldly and charming when I'm single; whereas codependence is a frequent chore/bore, only partially ameliorated by love.

So be careful about what y'all are lamenting here; you just might get what you want.

>>24605303
>ignored harder than that guy who complained about being ignored

whew i don't think i can make it through the holidays

>>24606167
>>24606228
>>24605970
Quite certain it's you three that are clue less
If I was wrong the marriage rate wouldn't be so low
and the divorce rate wouldn't be so high

women used to be loyal
and women used to actually want to be married

take a look at how much society has changed in the last century
it hasn't been for the better
and things are only getting worse
the root cause is how much woman and their role in society has changed
and in how men's role and how they are viewed in society has changed.
the biggest factor in this has been feminism, and the sexual revolution.
society went from a stable conservative society, to an unstable leftist society.

the fact you are so blind to what is happening, is very clear evidence
you are actually part of the problems that are plaguing society

>>24604674
Maybe I just like to be single

This is strange to see; primarily a bunch of people who sound really open and genuine with their lives, open to others' opinions and ways of life and unfortunately just haven't stepped into the realm of someone who notices or would treat them with respect. The other half of this crew seems to be content with single life, either through force or realisation.

I personally feel like I can't live within a relationship due to a lot of trust issues and, what I have to presume, is some form of personality disorder. When I describe how I see people I come out looking like I just feed on affection and give nothing to it. My entire life, relationships included is based solely on mutual respect and I never see that. No one has any level of respect or consideration and I feel like that's my fault for expecting too much.

I understand that people are selfish by nature, even in the smallest amount we as people need to put ourselves first in some regard and I get that, but when the only thing you give and expect is respect, it starts to mean more and then it means everything, so the slightest dent in that turns into a crack and so on.

Some of you people here, just sound fucking genuine and refreshing. I'm sorry your're in the positions you're in. I feel like you deserve more.

>>24607430
>trust issues
Most idiotic statement

If you wory about trust then you yourself can't be trusted and is rotten to the core. Loyalty means you take things to the grave or you take the grave. Trust isn't an issue, issue is you. Stop pretending that it is.

>>24607445
Never denied I was the problem, just talking. The most prominent thing I was talking about was clearly respect, not trust. I have issues with trust, as in there's no reason not to trust someone but I don't regardless. I'm not oblivious to that. It's a well used statement for a reason.

>>24607351
No. I don't. I don't like being single. I want to share my life with another person. I need another person to complete me.

>>24607467
No one is trusted until they are.

Would a mother kill her child to safe her life? Yes this example is extreme and I hope you see that it's relevant. Trust is an understatement. People tend to zoom into particulars and miss the whole picture. Trust can be broken and is broken. The question is, is it broken enough.

>>24607336
What are you doing out of your box, Chrishop?

Trust.

Is it sleeping around?
Is it being home at 6pm sharp?
Is it pretending and lying?

Sounds like 98% of the population to me. But I am not census genius.

Can any of that be prevented and maybe changed to aid situation?

Possibly.

>>24607476
Don't want to sound like a dick but when things start to sound like pretentious nonsense I switch off. It isn't relevant. We're talking relationships, new relationships built between individuals. We're not talking relationships inherently existing maternally that obviously come with no exceptions as to who's life would be deemed more important. Trust between essentially two strangers, which is what we all are, is and has to be built from the ground up. If the foundations of any trust placed by an individual are flawed then it's going to fail fro the off. I know that is where I stand and I know it makes me flawed, massively so, it makes me controlling in a sense. I can step back and I do know my place, but knowing your place and deep rooted feelings are not things that meet graciously.

>>24607495
I don't mean to sound like a dick too but you sound like you have a huge stick up your ass.

Start trusting and weed out those you don't. Not the other way around. Take it for what you will and trust me you haven't been fucked over. Put aside your baby hurt and learn to communicate.

>>24607521
You're being a bit presumptuous about my situation there. There's no one to weed out. I know very few people. The odd occasion where I do meet someone and get close I don't make an attempt to call them my own yet feel betrayed and jealous when they see other people. That is my issue. I haven't been fucked over, again, never said that I had, not blaming anyone else for my situation. You seem to be just aiming for some sensitive centre that isn't there. I communicate how I please, I feel how I please, I'm simply stating that conflicting internal feelings make taking steps towards a relationship somewhat difficult. And yes, I do sound like I have a stick up my ass, I apologise, it's just how I come across. I'm alright really. Trust me.

>>24607526
>I know very few people
Aow hat you're saying that you don't know people and yes maybe I have assumed where I shouldn't. The word TRUST spoke for it though.

>I'm simply stating that conflicting internal feelings make taking steps towards a relationship somewhat difficult.

He/she cheated?

>cheated
Sorry too narrow.

She/he left you. Betrayed you in any way. Betrayed is probably the word. I'm not really English.

>>24607532
Nobody has cheated, look I'll give you my example and you can judge me how you see fit if you care to read it anyway. A girl I know has become very attached to me, not trying to be big headed but states she misses me almost every waking second, spends every second she can with me, sometimes uninvited and claims to be mine but not mine if that makes sense. Mine but I won't ask her out, just doesn't feel right yet. She's said she'll wait for me to feel right yet she's been with another guy, a friend of mine, she's basically... I don't want to use the word slutty but she's an attention seeker and I suppose desperate comes to mind too. Her being with another man doesn't bother me. It's that I knew she would when she said she wouldn't. She tried to convince me she wouldn't (not that she needed to mind you) despite her not being my girl and me having no ground to be annoyed, but she tried to convince me and then did it. Now despite it having to mean nothing to me because she hasn't cheated and hasn't technically wronged me, I doubt I will ever get closer than I am now to her. It would always play on my mind. She's found another man attractive enough to betray her own fucking opinion never mind mine. I get angry and frustrated even thinking about it but it's not fair, because it isn't my place to say or do anything.

>>24607541
Also I've come across bitter towards you and I'm not, so I apologise.

>>24607555
Checked yo trips.

She's not just an attention whore, she's seeking validation through other people. She's not the type that would be willing to give affection, only take it until she feels she isn't getting enough, and she'll try to get it from someone else. She's not healthy, and any relationship with her wouldn't be healthy.

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Everyone I'm around is foul-mouthed, loud, obnoxious and DUDE LMAO VAPEEEEE NATION.

I am aloof, stoic, private, and enjoy being alone.

The mix is wrong. I don't respect them and am unwilling to compromise or modify my behavior.

>>24607565
Well it's complicated. Her husband cheated on her about a year ago. She's (in my opinion) manic depressive. She is genuinely nice and gives a lot. I know I've worded it in a way that she takes but doesn't give. She's broken I won't deny that.

>>24604674
For some reason around 5 years ago I feel like the script switched. Girls used to be all about relationships but now I can't find one who isn't just after casual sex for a few weeks.

>>24607558
No apologies are needed. I came across bitter too. I was bitter.

>>24607479
I think the real question is what are you doing outside of your box?
the recent American election clearly showed
where all you leftards belong.
Society belong to the majority, not the minority

>>24604674
I'm single because I was an only child growing up and missed out on a lot of socialization opportunities when I was little. Dad never watched sports, so I never liked or played when I was a kid. I couldn't relate to most of the normies, and never liked being part of a team.

Then my cunt of a 6th grade teacher gave me lunch and recess detention for whole year, taking away a whole year of socialization there.

Basically I need to socialize more, but I'm already pretty antisocial.

>>24607630
I can understand the lack of socialization thing. Maybe just find people with similar interests and build a friend circle through them and their friends and you might end up meeting someone you like.

After High School, I was kinda stuck because my mom was the abusively controlling type who judged my friends way too harshly and was pretty much terrified of the chance I might get involved with "the wrong crowd", so that combined with going to a 20-studen school was a huge blow to my social development. I got in contact with a HS friend, who introduced me to her friend, who introduced me to conventions, and while I'm still largely an introvert, I've made a pretty good amount of friends and acquaintences.

>>24607603
Oh boy, now you're assuming my political alignment based on absolutely nothing, too? Can we turn this into a game? What's my height, hair colour, and favourite shows?

I am really clingy.

I have no gauge to distinguish how much someone is in to me.

I've literally been pushed into women by buddies and had no idea they were into me.

>>24607672
how you're reacting to my views
is a clear sign you're from the left wing

>>24607744
>Reacting means you're left wing
Guess you must be left wing, then >>24605517 >>24605526

the breakdown of ancient societal norms has meant that i had no opportunity to inadvertently impregnate some random woman from the next derevnya over at some drunken harvest festival following which our parents would agree an exchange of labour for a set period of time offset by a one-off gift of swine.

hth op

>>24607793
Best post in the thread.

>poor social skills around strangers
>low self esteem
>no idea of how to talk to make it clear that im into someone
>compounding effect of no experience lowering my confidence
KHV if it wasnt obvious

>>24607593
This. Yeah... Had my fair share. Went from goody two shoe to full blown nympho. Then I meet someone I actually like like, but that dude just wanted to have sex. So yeah, it's basically a cycle.

>>24607775
"how" you're reacting
clearly you failed english

>>24607905
I'm pointing out that you can't really say anything about how I'm reacting when you spent two posts on a textbook knee-jerk reaction.

Which is one of the most stereotypically "left wing" things you could manage.

>>24604674
I'm single because NOBODY LIVES IN CENTRAL CAL AAAAAAAAHHHH

Almost 32/M.

I don't really meet that many people. My life has usually been me going from either school or work back to my home. I just never felt the compulsion to join clubs or network do things where I would meet more people while I was in school. Trying to meet new people as an adult is much harder. I do have a few friends, but I'm not normally in situations where I'm meeting new people with them. It's only been in the past few years where I look back at how I lived my life when I was younger and I regret missing out on a lot of opportunities.

I'm only trying to get into the dating game now, and I honestly have no idea what I'm doing, or even if I stand a chance. My best chance at meeting someone is through something like Match or Tinder. I'm not traditionally attractive, although I think I could be a 'type' for a few girls. I've yet to still come up with a way to distinguish my profile as being uniquely me, what separates me from all the other guys.

I'm also on the verge of becoming a 32 year old virgin (surprise surprise). I wonder if most women would just write me off if they found out I'm a virgin at my age. I don't really have any hangups about sex, but I'm sure most women have a certain expectation about how experienced men my age should be at having sex, and let's be honest, I know I won't be great my first time. Most people my age figured out this stuff a long time ago, and I never did.

>>24608126
I feel like you want to glorify the fact that you are a virgin. Does it bother you? Do you want to lose it with someone even though there's no emotional attachment with them?

>>24608000
I see so many Anons from Cali on this board.

Meanwhile, here I am in Minnesota, where its so dead, out threads get like 3 replies before rotting in the archives.

>>24608126
See, at least you're introspective and proactive. Wish most of the other Anons in the thread could be that way...

Women (especially over 25) shouldn't be so picky about whether a guy is a virgin or not if they're genuinely interested in you as a person.

>>24608185
>Women (especially over 25) shouldn't be so picky about whether a guy is a virgin or not if they're genuinely interested in you as a person.
We're not even picky lol. It's you guys who are into the idea of virginity. I know because a guy Im dating was a virgin and lo and behold I wasn't. He scared that i was gonna be too loose for his liking. Guess what, Im not.

>>24608149

Does being a virgin bother me? It does to an extent. I think it's because I'm a much older virgin. It didn't bother me much until I was around 24-25, which was when I really started to realize how behind I was. I was pretty naive when I was younger.

I'd prefer to lose with a girlfriend or someone I was dating or had an emotional attachment to, but if I was offered a one night stand, chances are I'd probably take it.

>>24608185

That's what I'm hoping if I ever do find someone; she'll like me enough that it won't matter too much or it won't be a deal-breaker.

>>24608197
>It's you guys who are into the idea of virginity
I'm a woman, lol.

Sorry, I worded that sentence a bit oddly. I meant it as in the whole "ew men who are virgins are gross" thing is juvenile and not really something that any level-headed, stable woman cares about when they're looking for a relationship and not just a one night stand.

But yeah, I agree with you that guys tend to put more focus on it than girls. The "loose" thing though- thanks American sex education for not teaching guys how vaginas work.

>>24608264

I'd actually prefer to lose it with someone that isn't a virgin. One of us should have an idea about what the fuck (literally) we're doing.

>>24608259
That's the thing. It doesn't bother anyone. It shouldn't.

>>24608264
Lol tell me about it. It's so easy for guys to lie and say Im a virgin just to screw around.

>>24608297
That my friend is a mistake. You won't even know which hole to poke it in.

I'm single because:
A) I'm very picky and don't really care about love
B) I prefer to pick up a cute twink just for sex
C) My fetishes aren't too popular

I'm good looking and good at flirting, but it's still tough to find dudes in the South that aren't fifty.

>>24604864
Yup. It's like I'm slowly realizing that tons of people have a baseline of empathy that I just can't grasp.

Because I have high standards for someone I want to call my significant other, but I don't act in such a way that I can attract anyone who meets them. Basically, I don't feel anyone who'll take me deserves me, but I don't deserve anyone I'll take. So I guess I'm just too much of a hypocrite.

>>24604674
I'm autistic, and not the cute kind.
A lot of guys think autistic girls are just cute and childlike but I'm kind of hard to be around. Embarrassing too. I don't think anybody who met me in person would be willing or able to look past it enough to actually get to know me. I'm a lot of work.
I also have a boring life and don't go out much, so even if I did get a bf he'd probably get bored of me quickly. I'm not very good at talking.
I was abused as a child as well so I get really afraid if people start to get angry, and I'm not good with feelings and stuff.

I live in a really Mormon area but am not myself Mormon and refuse to date Mormons. Sadly, I also look very young so the only non-Mormon people interested in me are high schoolers and weird neckbeard/fedora types.

>>24604674
I don't really know, there isn't anyplace to meet people where I'm at, and online dating is (for some reason) scary as fuck to me, I try talking flirting with the few girls I get to interact with, but it never goes anywhere...
I'm desperately lonely, and as time passes it's becoming more noticeable, last week one of my acquaintances at work pulled me aside and told me I'd meet somebody eventually, I don't tell anybody irl how horrifically lonely I am, or how for the most part this board and my bonsai tree are my only source of living interaction I get.
Honestly it feels really good to get this out in the open.

got burned in high school; everyone rejected me and i didnt know how to handle it. This means i dont trust people to be my friends which is a negative feedback loop. I escaped into mmo's but now that im 22 video games dont give me that wonderous sense of adventure anymore. I honestly try to go out drinking and grow out of my confort zone but every day the pain and isolation gets worse; as if it would have been better not to improve in the first place.

I think i could try to tone down my fake friendliness and just present myself publically as a quiet bookworm. are there any girls out there who go out in public with that quiet peaceful style or is there just nothing for me?

>>24608558
What kind of interactions are you looking for? Sexual? Romantic? Platonic?

>>24608625
Believe it or not, there are. I genuinely keep to myself when I'm in public.

>>24608527
you're a girl?

i live in a mormon area too, but i don't date mormons either. want to kik or skype or something?

I always assumed that if I put myself, my hobbies, and my business first that a relationship would fall into place on its own.
Here I am at 24 with my own business that requires little effort, plenty of engaging interests, doing what people would consider cool shit and no girlfriend in the last 6 years. It doesn't help that all of my hobbies are heavily male dominated, but I've come to realize that I will have to actively seeking out women. Makes me reflect on my last 6 years as almost wasted time despite what I've accomplished. I look at the things around me daily and they have no luster because there's no one special to share it with.

Could easily be worse. :^)

>>24608746
I have no job, car, friends or anything and I still get laid without any problems at 25. Have you tried being tall and really good looking?

>>24608746
Some people are good with balancing their lives. You just did a shit job at yours.

I am the kind of person that people like to have around in a group setting since I make things interesting. But I never feel apart of the group. People give me shit, and I dish it back and everyone laughs but I never feel comfortable with it, and end up drifting away not liking the people. Have no friends I hang out with IRL anymore and celebrated birthday completely alone. Probably late development autism. A street psychologist suggested the rope and I'm inclined to agree since my life is an inadequate joke to myself.

If I am a waste and a burden I feel like to friends, having someone I fuck is not even reletable. I would settle for an equal friend.

I would say I'm okay looking not bad but not good either I feel I would not be single if I wasn't a little bitch when it comes to talking or flirting with girls how I got 2 girls is still a mystery guess they have to be the ones to approach me cause I most likely wont

Scared of rejection so i don't ask anyone out

>>24605221
Maybe she will come back? Or fuck me aswell?

>>24608641
Any really, I actually asked someone from work if I could go with them to a club they frequent, (even though I hate dancing and don't drink) they said they'd shoot me a text when they were on their way, and then I sat at my house watching my cell for two days, when I saw them at work they didn't even apologize.

>>24608800
I know those feels senpai.

>>24608947
Eh screw them. If you wanna party go do it on your own. Try traveling. Im a social butterfly when I go to hostels.

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Seeking help gets 0 results when you look this good.

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>>24609106
lel im in a youth hostel right now all i want to do is program in my private room. #NotGonnaMakeItBros

>>24609137
Good luck. I usually lounge and smoke in the common room but sure whatever

>>24609149
People interact with each other in hotels?
or is this some crazy euro thing that poor amerifag won't get?

>>24609155
Hostels. Lol i feel bad for /int/ /trv/

>>24609149
I mean i tried going down for a drink the first night and it was fine. no one rejected me or anything; just struck up yarns with randoms but theres nothing in common. ive already driven round the state (holiday) and im only here for 4 days so its like what do we even feel engaged talking about?

>>24609168
Because you gotta stop trying, just grab a beer enjoy people watching, scenery, whatever. You don't have to feel an epiphany.

I'm not sure women want someone like me. I've looked at dating sites and they always want things I'm not. Someone would be nice but at this point it's looking improbable.

>>24609171
lel i did stop trying thats why im comfy typing

>>24608749
I'm 6'1" and a around 7/10 face.
As you can guess, I just don't end up around girls that often or really at all.

>>24608768
I think it was more of a misunderstanding regarding how to do that.

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>>24604674
19/F and I just don't have that many friends.
>clumsy
>spergy
>not talkative
>not very social
I have no problem initiating conversations with strangers, though the challenge lies with keeping it going. Could talk to someone two times and never have a chance to talk again.
The only way I could get to know someone well enough was they were in the same class as me for years. Getting their IM might help, since I am lot more talkative in writing.

I'm single because relationships are fucking hard. They take a lot of work.
Plus I don't want to ever end up like my parents.
They were so miserable all the time and seeing that shit every single day of your life growing up subconsciously fucks with you whether you want it to or not.

>>24604674
I think I'm ugly which turns men off.

>>24609557
You're actually ugly or you think you're ugly and won't shut up about it? Both will do it about the same.

I'm a woman who used to be extremely overweight. Now that I've lost a good deal of that weight, my body is showing the damage.
People find me attractive in clothes, for my personality and even my voice, but my body is a mess underneath and I'm scared of being rejected or not a good enough person for someone. I guess I've been hoping for a sexless relationship or a man in the same situation, which isn't easy to find.

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I just have no idea where I would find a partner in this shithole where I live. Even if I found one I've never been in a relationship or had a date so I'd be clueless about what to do. It doesn't help that I only leave my house to go to school or if I need to go to the store. I have some confidence in myself and my looks aren't that bad, it's just that I have no idea where to start looking.

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Duderino/24
I never meet people. Don't really go out that much. If I do go out it's just with other guys I've known since high school.
I was chubby as a kid and got made fun of for it and I never felt like I was very attractive, so I don't have very good self confidence. Approaching a girl at random somewhere just sounds like a great way for me to mumble, sweat, sperge out and embarrass myself.
I've tried shit like OkCupid but I guess my area isn't that great if you're looking for someone who isn't obese or black, everyone else I've messaged just never replies. I've done alright meeting people on /soc/, but no one ever wants to deal with distance and now that I finally got a real job I can't really think about moving across the country for someone, but no one wants to move here either.

>>24609563
I'm not actually ugly, apparently. I think I'm ugly but it's gotten to the point now where I won't talk about it.

Another thing is, I'm 24 - turning 25 (femanon). I still haven't had a relationship yet, and it's getting to a point where the only people I meet are at work, and none of those people have appealed to me yet. My next move is to become religious in order to meet people. Wish me luck!

>>24610090
Good idea, don't talk about it. I used to have a gf who loved to bait me with the "uggf I feel so ugly" shit just to get complements. Gets tedious.

Church will get you dudes.

G O O D L U C K
O
O
D

L
U
C
K

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>>24604674
because ive never spoken to a woman in my entire life? im not ugly, i get told i should model very often. im just really anxious all of the time

I'm chubby and just can't really seem to find any guy i'm attracted to. Everyones skinny or feminine and weak when i like nordic warrior types who look like they fight bears for fun and make a good thor look alike.
I'm not over my ex cheating on me about two years ago, I think it's gone beyond healthy now how much it affected me and i've only really gotten out of denial over it
Also have a bad bit of social anxiety when I'm out on my own which is weird for me since i'm pretty easy and out-going when other people initiate things with me

>>24607840
I feel the deep warm pride that comes when i do standup and one person laughs while everyone else bemusedly stares or contemningly dismisses

you're a sweetheart, thank you

>>24604674
I'm single because I never go out and talk to anyone I don't already know unless they're brought into my circle of friends, meaning that any girls I come into contact with are usually already spoken for.

Why don't I go out and meet people and try to get myself into a relationship? That's the deep shit you want to talk about.

So I'm sort of at this point now where I've convinced myself I'm going to be alone forever, or at least for the foreseeable future. What scares me the most about that is not that I've done it but that I'm okay with it. It's not that I don't want a relationship but I don't think I'll ever find one right for me. More and more, I'm beginning to consider relationships "for those other people" and not for myself, which is perhaps the most worrying thought of all

The reason that I don't believe I'll ever find the relationship I'm looking for is a bunch of different things put together.

One: I think I'm unlovable. I'm too bland and too off putting, to ever hold on to someone. My interests are... niche, to say the least. Maybe I could find someone who shares the more popular ones, but if I ever did find someone who was genuinely did share that interest in a way that could tie us together for a long period of time I would consider myself almost impossibly lucky. To everyone else though my interest or lack of interest in other things make me bland and unappealing. I unfortunately don't have the appearance to make up for it, either. I look... passable overall, certainly not ugly, but not really good looking either. Though I do have trouble keeping weight off my gut, thighs, and butt and perhaps most damning, I'm balding. My personality can at times endear and at times drive people away, for reasons I don't entirely understand. I'm socially paralyzed around someone until I get to know them so that does me no favors.

Not single but just lucky i think. Married a woman who actually gives a fuck about me no matter how self sabotaging i get. Not to say she puts up with bs but she's been a lot more forgiving in places i don't even think i could be.

I have trouble associating good attention and bad attention and everything in between because parents were neglectful. So i tend to let things get too far. Getting better at setting boundaries tho.

>>24610837
Con't:
I think I often say some things that come out rude or hurtful when I genuinely don't mean them too. I rarely, if ever, think that way about people and certainly never mean it in a genuine way. I think that my understanding of social graces is just so underdeveloped that some of the things I say when I'm on the spot and have to come up with something quickly come differently from how I intended them. I think that people might come to me in times of desperation, but as soon as they feel secure again I know they would leave me for someone better suited to their tastes.

Two: I'm picky when I'm in no position to be. If I was being honest with myself I could probably pick up some of the most desperate girls from my campus, or let them pick me up, as the case may be, but I don't have any desire for that kind of thing. I want a relationship where I actually have chemistry with the other person, and things work out because of our similar personalities and interests. I can't stand the way relationships work these days. It seems that all they are is a shallow series of hookups that barely, if at all, last. Just fuck the first attractive person you meet and figure the rest out later; and call it love. It's gross to me and I could never put my heart into any such arrangement. Unfortunately that intensely limits my options to getting incredibly lucky and finding the perfect match for my life and lifestyle. (Something which my best friend has apparently done, at a relatively young age.) I won't say that such a person doesn't exist, but honestly, what are the chances of me ever finding them? Which I naturally use as justification to avoid meeting people because "It's not like I'd meet someone I liked anyway." It's circular, I know, but hopefully some of you understand that these kinds of problems don't necessarily always allow you to think rationally. Not to mention that I'm beginning to suspect that there are traits common to all women that I find unappealing.

Female here, Idk a mixture of self esteem issues and shyness, that and I'm always busy. I started grad school in a scientific field so I'm now constantly working in an environment where the people around me aren't exactly social butterflies either, which doesn't help. I also feel like I'd want someone who was in a similar field so they could understand similar stresses and worries, or add insight when I ramble on about work/school related stuff. I also like skinny short guys and there are surprisingly few of those around me.

>>24610899
Con't:
I normally wouldn't deal in absolutes like that but I've been struck by a couple realizations recently. I've never met a woman who's entire life didn't seem to revolve around pleasing or endearing themselves to other people, even if it was through a hobby or something like that. It seems like they do it not because they enjoy the activity or want to get better at it, or even because they just want to do something for themselves, it's always just because someone else enjoys it and it's a way to connect with them. Which I honestly think is fine on its own, but when it's the driving motivation for everything you do and you can't be content with even one other hobby that you do in your free time when nobody is watching you, something that makes you and you alone happy, I just find it.... kind of sad and off putting. Of course, I could be totally wrong about that, but if not all, then it seems most women I can meet in person act this way, further reducing my chances of finding the miracle person whom I can both stand and can stand me. Although I think it's something I could certainly look past, given I like other things about them.

Three: I am terribly, desperately afraid of being hurt. Not much to say besides that. I am utterly scared of what would happen if I ever did open myself up to someone. I just have this uncanny feeling that if I ever did allow someone into my life in such a way that they would end up destroying me. I've been in one relationship previously. It was a high school fling and I don't put a lot of stock in what happened, after all, I only knew the girl for about a month before we started going out and only knew her for a month and a half afterwards. Even then, I can still remember the pain of it all. The breakup was quick and relatively easy. I understand perfectly well that by the time they say "I think we should breakup." there is no saving it, you've already lost them, so we went our separate ways.

>>24610995
Last one, I promise.

I remember how much that laughably short relationship hurt, so I can't imagine what would happen to me if I let down my guard again only to have them leave. Even more than that I'm worried about them judging me though. I'm pathetic, and I certainly seem that way to other people. I need someone who won't judge me, who understands that I'm sincerely trying in my life-long quest to get my shit together. I am genuinely scared of being judged by other people, to the point where it keeps me up sometimes. I don't need to be coddled and I'm not afraid of opinions, but I can't open myself up to anyone because of that fear, and to be honest, I doubt I'll ever find anyone who can look past all that I am and accept me in spite of my shortcomings, the way I believe I could for someone else.

I feel like I'm just fucking rambling at this point so I'm going to stop. I've made far too many posts as it is. Thanks for letting me use your thread to dump all this shit, it feels nice to do that.

>>24609614
Also you should be proud of yourself for losing weight, and trust me there will definitely be someone who you'll meet in your life time who will find your body attractive .

Unattractive
Boring (hobbies include video games, watching streams, watching shit on youtube)
Bad social anxiety
Lack of self worth (i feel like i'll be a shitty boyfriend and don't want to put someone through that)

>>24611027
Oh yeah I also just suck at carrying on conversations. I can talk to a girl for a while, but eventually I just run out of shit to talk about and don't want to just stand there and interrogate her about shit that I'm just not that interested in.

Maybe I've got a touch of the 'tism, who knows.

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Ultimately feel like I'm not worthy of having sex, much less a relationship with a beautiful woman.
I mainly drown my sorrows in cartoons and porn and constantly question my sexuality because I started masturbating to female cartoon animals when I was around 12, first fap that I can recall is when I googled "Lion King Porn" and had an image of a lion fucking and sucking and groping three anthro female lions.
Also, I'm still living with my parents and have a very negative outlook on life, because I just see more shit everyday that everyone complains about, but when you try to change things, they tell you they didn't want you to do anything about it. I also have an amazon fetish and a femdom fetish. I also do not have a very well paying job and I can't really see anything changing in my future because I keep hearing that it doesn't matter what kind of job you get, you just wind up going in debt anyway, and as much as I hate it, I try to always please my parents. Also, my parents relationship has been on the rocks for years, they stopped sleeping in the same bed 6 years ago and I don't really see them being intimate anymore. I think they really just stayed together more out of duty than their own happiness.
I don't know. It seems like I'd be more of a burden in the relationship than an equal partner.

Pourquoi je suis seul ?
Parce que je ne suis pas beau, je n'ai rien pour moi physiquement, je suis petit (173cm), très poilu, brun, yeux marrons, des cheveux très épais d'arabe (alors que je suis meme pas d'origine arabe), en surpoids (96kg) et meme si je fait de la musculation j'ai quand même l'air d'être gros.
De plus, je suis un poissard né, je n'ai jamais eu de réelles chances dans la vie, des que quelque chose va bien, que je commence à être heureux, le destin s'acharne à me prendre ce que je désire, a baiser les possibilités de choix que j'ai dans la vie.
J'ai 27 ans, je vie toujours chez mes parents (par soucis d'économie et que je puisse me faire un peu plaisir avec mon argent plutôt que de tout dépenser dans un loyer) je n'ai eu qu'une seule copine dans ma vie que j'ai aimé tellement fort que le jour où elle m'a quitté j'ai mis environ 2 ans à m'en remettre, et encore, j'y pense toujours de temps en temps même si je suis prêt à me caser avec quelqu'un d'autre.

Tiens, en parlant de ça, la fille qui me plait en ce moment s'est mise à sortir avec un mec, je ne lui ai jamais plu donc je n'ai jamais eu mes chances avec elle.

Pourtant j'ai plein de choses à donner et je pense être relativement intéressant comme mec, mais je le redis, le destin s'acharne à ce que je n'obtienne rien de bon dans ma vie et à force, a force que les échecs, les déceptions s'accumulent, j'ai réellement l'impression d'être transparent, d'être inutile, de ne pas être à la hauteur, de ne pas MÉRITER la vie que plein de gens autour de moi ont, alors que pourtant j'ai pas l'impression d'être le PIRE mec sur terre, au contraire même.

Bref, je pense pas au suicide mais alors j'me dit que meme si je disparaissais les gens ne le remarqueraient meme pas ou à peine (à part ma famille, évidemment).

Désolé si je n'ai pas voulu marquer ça en anglais mais c'était plus facile pour moi de tout lâcher dans ma langue maternelle.

Can't find the confidence/have very little experience of making a move or asking people out. I also convince myself I'm not good enough or it wouldn't work so break it off without explaining

I tried some cognitive behavioural stuff but it's set in too deep to handle alone, I just keep everyone at bay a bit because constant minor loneliness seems more bearable than the sudden pangs of vulnerability without someone

>>24611209
je ne parles pas beaucoup de francais (le centre de ta message je ne peux pas lire) mais j'ai lu un peu de ton message.
Tu n'es pas si laid que tu penses. Ne suicide pas; apres la vie, ce n'est rien. Cette vie est tous de tu as. La vie peut devenir plus bon; la mort est finale, et c'est merde.

Je suis desole que je ne peux pas repondre a la centre de ton message, mais mes competences francais ne sont pas encore a cette etape. J'espere que tu vas le lire, et j'espere que tu vas survivre ces temps dificiles.

>>24611209
Tout ça en entamé sévèrement ma confiance en soi, le fait de ne pas attirer l'attention des filles, les amis qui déçoivent au fil du temps et plein d'autres petites déceptions de la vie qui font que j'ai du mal avec tout ça.

De plus je suis complètement average sur toute la ligne : je n'ai aucuns talents particulier, intelligence dans la moyenne, pas spécialement vaillant ou courageux, trop timide pour faire le premier pas ou en tous cas me mettre dans une situation de risque.
Bref, je ne suis pas désirable que ce soir physiquement ou mentalement apparemment.

Ma vie est naze. Je baise pas, je plait pas, je vois presque plus personne, j'en viens carrément à me faire des restaurants et des cinema tout seul, c'est pathétique. Mais le PIRE dans tout ça, c'est que je n'en veux meme pas au gens de ne pas me trouver attirant parce que je sortirais pas avec moi meme non plus.

Je ne sais pas comment aller mieux, comment faire de ma vie quelque chose que j'apprécie et qui me rends heureux. Je suis en train de me focaliser sur mon physique pour voir si je peut mincir et devenir plus séduisant mais je suis quasi certain que ca ne donnera rien et que même si je maigris assez je n'en serais pas beau pour autant.

>>24611294
Dont worry mate, im not even brave enough to suicide so i dont think about it, i just sais that i dont think about suicide but even if i were about to disappear, people wouldnt even remark that im gone. (At least other people than my family)

But thanks for your concern, and again, dont worry about that, i'll just keep living as a sad cunt until something good happen (it never will)

>inner deep shit
such as?

the way i see it, i'm single because i don't go out and chase the puss.

it's not because i'm fat, i've seen plenty of dudes, just as if not fatter than me, with a chick

it's not because of my acne, there are guys/girls with worse acne than me, and they still get hit on, or have someone already.

it's not because i'm introverted because apparently everyone has agoraphobia, introverted, socially awkward, or lack social etiquette.

it's not about fashion, because i dress really nice and style my hair and shower daily. there are dudes that dress in nothing but pj's and they get more attention than me

it's not about my car because there are dudes with beat up barely running cars, and they have a girl riding shotgun


it all comes down to how much effort i put into getting laid. how much effort i put into going online or outside and looking for some action

>>24611447
Also doesn't help that you have not one, but all of those negatives at the same time.

>>24611473
even so, it's a matter of how much effort you put in

i have all the symptoms, and there are people worse off than me with a chick

>>24611479
Then go get em, big boy.

scan or message RedMatzoo mkay

>>24611447
"bc I don't go out and chase the puss"

No.

you acknowledge the fact that you are lazy yes, but you refuse to acknowledge that you have developed such bad habits, the only type of girls YOU will get are the toads.

You are now socially autistic, fat and desperately needy.

So no, its not just, " i dont go out and chase it"

as even if you do, you now have developed all of those disgusting habits.

You are all pathetic.

>>24611524
>socially autistic, fat and desperately needy
so the average 4channer, including you?

>>24611621
normally on fit.

I compete in bodybuilding, on steroids, have a gf, fucked plenty of girls. sponsored, have a career.

yeah sure.

stay fat kid

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>>24611689

>>24604674
Because I'm pretentious.
Depressed.
Arrogant.
Boring.
I have the most boring, run-of-the-mill social life.
My looks are average.

No one would want to date someone like me, so I've just accepted that love isn't for me.

I don't want to bother anyone with how I always feel negative and/or make anyone feel like they have to help me or do anything for me for any reason other than they sincerely want to help me

you can't make anyone do anything, it's their decision to feel that way, but if I can't accept myself how can I accept that others can accept me

I never talk to strangers, that's basically why I never meet people. I'm going to move to a big city soon, and probably take online classes for college so I won't meet people that way. I have money saved up from gambling, so I won't need a job, although I might get one just to get more money. My "work" if you can call it at the moment consists of reading books, doing shit on the internet and messing with stocks. I'm planning on translating a book, which means I won't meet anybody like that either.

Does Craigslist work for finding strangers to meet up? I don't want to use Tinder cause that's for people with social lives, I figure somebody on Craigslist would be like me.

>>24608643
Maybe but all the dudes I've talked to from 4chan have turned out to be crazies

wow this thread blew up o.o i didnt expect this

>>24607874
You fem or gay?

Either way, what the fuck happened?

I was in a relationship. It ddidn't end good. Now i don't have any mood for simple flirting and so on.

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I can't work up the courage to approach anyone. I can make friends easily, but whenever I want to ask someone out, I get an overwhelming feeling of embarrassment.
I only had one previous relationship and that was with a girl who basically threw herself at me, so I never learned to ask a girl out.

>>24611854
Its like everyone just copies and pastes this whole text

Seriously, I've heard it before

>>24611865
>it's not you, it's me

I'm single because I'm a depressed, self loathing, overly emotional wreck. I put up a happy mask for people I know, I start crying when I get too angry or happy. I already said that I loathe myself, but in the realm of realism, I'm not very attractive. The only person I know that thinks that I'm attractive is a gay friend of mine, but I don't know how to react to that and think that he's just pulling my leg.

>trans

Need I say more?

I'm single because I have PTSD/BPD, Major Depressive, HIV, cynicism, and mild autism.

I've also been in 20 different relationships with 18 different people and ever since testing positive I've stayed alone. I'm a straight male who got it from a lying heterosexual partner that severely manipulated me.

I've reached a point that I've realized no other human being is going to give me what I want in life. Only I can. I am busy with research and designing the lifestyle I want to live. so far its been working out much better than any of my relationships did. Ive been healthier, happier, and more focused.

I'll never have someone to hold me at night because I'm batshit crazy, have trust issues, std issues, and too much pride to be settled for. My intelligence also makes it hard for me to connect with others, i kinda burn out their brains.

>>24604674
Uh oh, how many reasons do u want,10? 50? D:'

> I don't like to actually ask people out cuz that's uncomfortably vulnerable
>Coz I have a paper towel social life
> I'm flaky af an never follow thru with any plans
> I'm a cold bitch when I'm flirting
> People think I'm odd
> The type I'm into is rarely into me
> I'm a virgin and won't fuck someone just bcs they're there
> I don't like cutesy, sparkly '<3' intimacy
> I'm intimidating? Idk
> I have high expectations for partners but people suck
> I've found my soulmate, but she's a girl and I'm not attracted to her in a physical way
> I like to be chased and not coddled
> I can't deal with compliments
> have stopped feeling the butterflies
>The universe isn't into it

>>24614010
Cool
>Sorry bout the HIV tho, got 2 suck
Just find some nice asexual chick n you're good ;)

Stay single until you are 30 guys. Trust me.

>>24614659
>just find an asexual chick
im pretty sure thats a tumblr meme for thirsty, attention-seeking chicks. i want to believe.

>>24613084
Yes, and? See the correlation yet?

I've never been able to overcome my severe lack of social interaction from a younger age.
I simply do not interpret and see things like other people.
People seem to never understand what I'm talking about.
When describing my difficulties others tell me I'm just not trying hard enough.
They seem to never understand that my difficulty isn't from a lack of trying, but from a lack of comprehension and understanding.
I'm approaching 30 years old and I highly doubt that at this point I'll be able to gain any more insight by myself into this through the normal trial-and-error I've been doing.
I've only had one real relationship and even that was only online, be it with a person of extremely beautiful character.
Deep down I know if anything was going to happen it would have happened by now.
I'm just waiting for the one day when the loneliness is going to be too much.

>>24614650
How old are you? Age is a big factor, also you don't seem very cheerful to participate here

I act like asshole and drive myself away from people so because internaly im afraid of getting attach and when i consioly think about asking her out im too scare to do it

I hate myself, so mainly it's due to trust issues.

im single cause i choose to be very deceitful and very manipulative. i had a fucked upbringing and i need to either stop or kill myself

>>24604674
I'm pretty good looking but I'm gay. Ask the wrong person and they'll try to kill you. No shit. Plenty of chicks approach me in straight bars and different places but I don't want anything at all to do with them.

The gay bars are the same old men offering me money and drugs for sex. It seems a lot of these guys like short and skinny.
Hey, I'll sit and talk to you guys for the holiday weekend. ....but mark my words... ONE OF THESE DAYS.
That's why I'm still single.

I'm single because I'm scared of people and I can't trust anyone
Because I hate hook ups
Because I don't want to have sex after the first few dates
Because I like things people hate (math,science)
Because I'm awkward and my jokes are dumb
Because I hate small talk
Because I act like a male
Because I'm not politically correct

i genuinely hate being in relationships, i've never truly felt romantic attraction, and i'm perfectly content with having friends and sexual partners without any romance involved

I think I can answer this better than most. I'm very aware why.

My fiance. After a 6 year relationship left. 1.5 years ago. I was feeling better. Finally. Getting back on my feet. And then.... ...

My friend who was there for me and helped me along so much.. died in an accident. I gave up. Went and drank and did drugs constantly to just feel a bit better.

Realized I can't be there for someone else when I need to use every bit of energy to keep myself together. I'm trying to get sober. Im extremely lonely. Im cute. Have a sweet job. But still stay alone...

In my case it's because i'm a timid shut in alcoholic virgin with aspergers.

>>24616359
you just need time anon

maybe some help

>>24604674
Too many complications, on my end. Too much fucking family shit and my life is so atypically fucked that I feel guilty bringing anyone into the mess. And it gets fucking annoying trying to explain all the shit after a while, so I don't. Also low self esteem.

>>24615426
>Age is a big factor
Hmm..
>cheerful to participate
What do u mean? I'm perfectly chipper <333

>>24604674
I think I'm single because I'm too kinky and feel like other females aren't/don't like it. Some chicks on here feel that way at all? I can't find me a good kinky chick..

>>24604674
I have a lot of trouble with being comfortable around new people or strangers. I can pick up pretty easily when women are attracted to me but I can't really act on it because I don't know them well enough when I meet them. By the time I do it sort of turns into a friend zone thing. Once in a while another me, that is sort of like my tyler durden just materializes and I can just be free and then I usually seem to end up dating someone for a while. I get eyefucked a lot on the street. It's frustrating though when you can't really do much about it. Pity I think too because I have a lot of positives about me when you get to know me.

>>24604674
Had my fience pass away and now when I date it doesnt feel right. Maybe I also have high standards.

>>24609614
Looks fade over time. Its also about you as a person. Be glad you lost weight and became healthy, its an accomplishment.

i'm fat and ugly
i don't think i'm interesting enough for anyone to even want to be my friend let alone fall in love with me
i didn't use to think this of myself but i had a guy i wanted to date drunkenly yell at me about how i'm boring because i don't react to things the way he wanted me to
i have a hard time communicating with people mostly because i feel like i'd be inconviencing them by trying to have a conversation/talk about the things that i want to talk about

i'm lonely and i want to die lol

>intimacy issues (cut ties with all relationships in my life, including family)
>use men to fulfill my emotional/ social needs, then leave once we get too close
>little interest in sex, mostly just want temporary emotional tampons
>would only consider sex with a long-term partner

>>24609495
i like you. :)

I'm single because I don't go out enough. I'm not super attractive, but I'm good enough to get a gf. I have a decent job that pays well, my own apartment and my own car, and I'm pretty well off for now. I more or less have my shit together.

But my emotional state is all fucked up. Aside from work I literally don't talk all day every day, I'm super anti-social to the point where just sitting at Thanksgiving dinner table made me anxious and I left early, and my last relationship ended on quite a sour note with her telling me I'll never be good enough for anyone and that I'm unlovable.

>>24616973
You need to love yourself anon

Physical attributes only get you so far. Confidence can land you in some good places.

26/m//uk/homosex

>Fell in love and was dumped six months later somewhat out of the blue.
>That fucked with me severely
>No matter how much I try I cant get over my ex
>Terrified that I will never find that again
>I can;t feel that same connection I had with my ex with anyone
>Pls halp