I'm kinda scared i might be sociopaths. See i don't

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I'm kinda scared i might be sociopaths.
See i don't feel many emotions, i get frustrated and angry to easily but i have no emotions or feelings that indicate care and love.

It's kinda disgusting that i want those feelings but can't have them because i was born without them.

I'm forever to be a person who needs other people to tell me how to feel.
tho most people tell me to feel shit so i end up in a depressed state cos people remind me how often i fuck up and am a heartless bad person.

i been told i'm heartless very often, i even see it in my brother, that lack of emotion the show or tell of someone who is trying to fake it, i mean he is worse than i am at faking emotional responces we are both bad enough but he is far worse yet he has the wife and decent job and i'm fucked with my NEET life and no friends.

see i had a mental break down last year, I lost everything, my friends my job my mind. my personality changed deeply and i have issues with retaining information and no problems giving it. i talk about my shit constantly it's my worse thing to do, i always turn subjects to my own problems when i relate to something i wish i could stop doing that but it't ingrained it's a refelx one i've become far to good at.

don't get me wrong i'm not depressed or anything nore am i willing to murder someone so don't confuse my story with that of a cuck emo kid or serial killer as i am nether.

right now i'd like to know if any women have dated a guy like me how you coped with it and what advice you could give to make me a better person so i don't go postal and kill a bunch of SJWs at a black lives matter protest.