Can we have an OkCupid/Dating Site thread? >share profiles

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I never get replies, halp?? I'm assuming my apperence

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>>24500016

>>24500016
>>24500021

You seem to have a terrible tendency to ramble on; people want a cheat sheet about you, not your life story in fragments.

Another trap that's really easy to fall into in regards to the profile is giving WAY too much info, and not just like weird shit. If you tell every single thing about yourself, you take away a lot of conversation points that someone might bring up.

Based on your stellar writing in the profile itself, I have to ask what the typical messages you send out are like. I'm no expert at this by any means (I've gotten like 1 reply) but I can at least give you a definitive answer on what's wrong. First impressions are a big deal IRL, but they absolutely make or break online conversations. This is especially true as a guy as your message has to stand out to women or it will just get lost in the pile.

You don't look bad but your main profile picture seems squashed horizontally, making it look weird. Change to a different one, like the one with you leaning against the railing.

>>24500035
I cut the main body of it to just the first few Sentances. Idk.

>>24500057

One tip is to kinda base yours off reading other profiles. When you read someone else's bio etc., what do you want to know about them at a glance? As an example, I look for a basic rundown of their personality, interests, and what they're looking for. You can do well just limiting it to that, although feel free to throw in a personal flair with jokes and shit.

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Just made this today.

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Any tips on my bio? I thought something short would be good but people seem to be putting autobiographical level entries.

KIK LOVEWHITEGUYS

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Also here is my profile pic, should I be alright?

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I have other pics there, but this is one I am worried about a bit. I like cosplay so I decided to include my snake cosplay from this years comicon. Was this a bad idea?

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My biggest problem IMO is that I have no real idea how to message women. I've been lucky enough somehow that a cute lady with crazy eyes messaged me and I suppose I've managed a conversation well enough, but she replies back rather slowly and I'm not 100% sure she'd wanna meet.

Here's mine: https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Texbeard/

Would love some good criticism. I really have no idea what I'm doing and end up revising the thing every time I read it.

>>24500095
>>24500108

They're a bit low quality but those are good pics. Some may find the snake cosplay to be a bit tasteless if they don't know the character, though, as some women don't like (mostly) shirtless pics on your profile.

>>24500108
>>24500095

the cosplay pic looks better than the profile pic, the facial hair is very attractive

Reposting

Okcupid.com/profile/foodadverb

Should I just give up? I get very few legit matches/likes/profile views and those that I do I tend to be too much of coward to bother communicating with

>>24500423

Your profile is a bit barebones.

>>24501399
The way I figure it most people are going to see my profile image first. And since I get so few views or likes there isn't much of a point to put to much effort into filling out the profile

Plus I have a hard time talking about myself in a positive manner so filling the profile with a bunch of negative, sad sack shit isnt going to do me any good

okcupid.com/profile/destrudoinabox?cf=regular,matchsearch

what's to be fixed? Honestly i find it a bit overtalkative and want to trim it a little bit.
Also, inb4 location talks, using my real one would be rather unpratical and wouldn't work for me at all. I live where nobody uses okcupid

>>24502059

Honestly not a bad profile overall, but it could use a little trimming down.

>Are you ready for an adventure? You should probably look elsewhere.

Putting yourself down on a dating site is a bad move, even if it is a joke.

>Being a magnet for adventures, the first of the many crazy thing i ve ever did took place when i was a year old . On a flight from Tehran, i overpowered Cassius Clay aka Muhammad Ali, Lured him by crying and showing alleged weakness, made him reach out to take me in his hands and...the rest is history. He made what in the future called a strategic retreat, but we all know the truth.

I'd axe that whole bit there.

>I am not really from [insert current location]. but i am from Italy. It's just a strategy to talk to a wider variety of people. Yeah I am that sneaky.

You could probably just cut that down to "I'm actually from Italy. I just like meeting new people."

>Dank memes

How to get nobody to talk to you 101.

>>24501610

>The way I figure it most people are going to see my profile image first.

Then you must find your MySpace angle, so to speak. Good photography makes a big difference. You have a couple of decent pics, but your actual main profile pic is pretty bad.

>Plus I have a hard time talking about myself in a positive manner so filling the profile with a bunch of negative, sad sack shit isnt going to do me any good

Sorry to say, but you must master the fine art of bullshittery to sell yourself as somebody's dream guy. Folks need to at least know the basics about what to expect from you.

Disclaimer: I am terrible at this and my advice is likely to be similarly terrible.

>>24502059
Might want to move the adventure joke down the profile a little? Feels like having that as the first thing could bump people away.

>>24500423
Definitely flesh this out a little more, I have very little impression of what you're like. Maybe add more detail on the hobbies at the very least, do you volunteer at an animal shelter or anything like that? Everyone likes those stories.

>>24500087
Usually better to add more, at least enough to give people a vague impression of whether you'll get along.

I'm at https://www.okcupid.com/profile/dorkyzach (Yes, I know, it's rambling and autistic but I'm like that in person too so at least it matches)

>>24500007
>>24503742
You seem knowledgeable since I have no game.

How do I start talking a girl who's profile doesn't say a lot.

Woman 1: She's a student teacher, likes reading and movies, says "Ask me what you would like to know".

Woman 2: She has a hospitality job, likes music, reading and long walks. And only says "honest, self driven, love to smile".

How do I approach this? I want to just say "Hey, how are you?" but it seems bland. But I don't want to give some shitty pick up line, that's just not me.

what do, senpai?

>>24503865
Also I'll bump with the #1 weirdest date I've been on off there

>Meet a girl in the next city over, seems nice, similar interests, attractive
>Get to talking, she's got some time free that weekend
>Last minute she has to cancel cause some family thing came up, wants to reschedule
>Go along with it, I try to be tolerant, life happens
>The cycle continues for about a month, she gets more apologetic every time, all legit reasons
>Finally manage to get a time lined up, show up for the date
>She jumps out from behind a tree with a Starbucks gift card and yells "You won!"

Apparently she was running a contest on the last 16 dudes who messaged. I won cause she was able to reschedule on me the most times without having me ragequit.

Still sad I didn't get a second date, that shit was hilarious.

>>24503742
>You have a couple of decent pics, but your actual main profile pic is pretty bad

Which one should I use then?

>>24503865
>Definitely flesh this out a little more, I have very little impression of what you're like. Maybe add more detail on the hobbies at the very least, do you volunteer at an animal shelter or anything like that? Everyone likes those stories.

Other then completely making up some bullshit to make myself look good (which I am terrible at), I don't think I could write anything down without being overly self-continuous about it

>>24500095
I'm a girl. I think you're adorable.

>>24503727
>>24503865

thanks for the feedback, i'll do something about the adventure thing, but regarding the rest i wouldn't know...the idea of polishing my profile it is to be efficiently interesting but i also want to lure people likeminded...if a person doesn't get the joke about looking elsewhere for adventure, possibly i don't want that person in my life?
I don't really know, what you guys think of this?

>>24503882

You've got me there. As I said in my own post I have no Earthly idea how to actually message women; I've just been making profiles on and off for going on 4 years.

>>24504074

The pic in shades I think was the best.

>Other then completely making up some bullshit to make myself look good (which I am terrible at), I don't think I could write anything down without being overly self-continuous about it

You don't need to lie, you just need to vastly overstate how cool you are.

>>24504978

A lot of really good jokes are just way too easy to misinterpret on dating sites. It's also quite easy to play armchair psychologist with them, which is less than ideal because that's what most people on a dating site are doing.

>>24505043

Honestly that's a pretty good profile.

>>24505054
cheers pal

>>24505036
>The pic in shades I think was the best.
Which one? Theirs two of them
>You don't need to lie, you just need to vastly overstate how cool you are.
I am negative cool

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OKCUPID IS DOWN

WTF DO I DO ANONS

>>24500016
As a femanon I don't mind the profile but the picture is offputting, you arent unattractive but its a little too close to your face and generally when you take face pics like that you want top angle down to give the best looking picture + nicer lighting

Do woman even bother checking the percent match or the personality questions at all or is 90% looks and the rest depend more on the actual profile?

>>24506769

Most normal people don't look at much beyond basic deal breakers in my experience. First they appraise your looks, scan the profile for red flags and interesting bits, and then see if there's anything that would make it all come crashing down. Some people seem to not care about anything beyond looks anyway.

Any way to make it so I don't see ttannies at all in my searches?

>>24506834

No, not really. Technically, you could search for cis women, but that just turns up Tumblr filth because normal people have never even heard that buzzword. The only thing you can do is hide them whenever they come up because they're not going to stop calling themselves women any time soon.

28yo m here.
All but one girl I have ever been with I met online, which are about 12 or so. Some longer relationships, some ONS.
I do not call my successful, for the simple fact that I dont think getting many non lasting relationships is much of an accomplishment. As it stands right now I am single, so I failed so far.

Nevertheless looking at numbers I guess I could give some advice.

Looking for a mate online is very similar to looking for a job:
You look at a lot of options, you write an appealing advertising profile of yourself and you apply to as many as you think is right.
Reveal key information about yourself, but not too much, there gotta be some mystery.
Talk about your passions and personality traits. if you do mention weaknesses, be honest and elegant about it. Dont shit on yourself. No matter how honest it might be, no one is gonna be interested if you hate yourself. Confidence and assertiveness is very attractive.

Talking to people is a whole other thing, but you gotta make them feel comfortable.
Treat them as if you are friends within the first couple of messages already. Be close. Be open. Be interested. Just dont fake it.

Okcupid advice: They dont pay, they cant see your likes, you HAVE to text them. I know you know. But it needs to be spoken.

cont. with reviews

>>24508390

>>24500016
Your first pic is pretty terrible. The travel pics are great, even tho I'm personally not a fan of seeing them when looking for girls, but its safe to say these impress most people.
Get a better lit, better expression main pic.
Minor problems with the text, nothing too big: Dont call yourself an amazing person, I know how you meant it, its just not the way to say it.
Personally I wouldnt mention sports teams unless you expect them to respond to that, otherwise thats not really interesting to her.

You also talk about your troubles with career right now. Thats all fine later if you talk to someone who is already interested, however there is no need to go that deep into your troubles openly when people have not formed sympathy yet.
You are a great cook and you do it for a living, however you are thinking about a career change.
Just make it sound like a good thing and not like a struggle.

>>24500087
Your pics are great but your profile is a napkin. This aint Tinder.

>>24508390

>>24500119
Try to make your main profile pic a tick more interesting or funny or curious. Try out some angles, lighting and facial expressions. This is pretty hard to get right and I suck at it too. But yea. its not a bad pic but you wanna attract them of course.
"I'd love to get out of the house" sounds like you dont get out of the house that much to begin with. Which would be fine, but thats not how you say it; There is not reason to say that anyway. "I love meeting up" or whatever is all you need.
Maybe not call yourself a hillbilly, but I'm not american, let alone from TX so I dunno, maybe its ok.
Career: Alrighty: attended high school, age 22... my eyes will now move to look for job or education notices. "I sell auto parts and auto parts accessories." you also work at amazon.
Show some pride here and dont make it sound lame, even if it is lame and you will admit that later in discussions with someone, show some basic pride and make it sounds a little bit more fancy.
"I am self employed(?) and deal with auto parts, I also work at amazon on the side <insert funny remark here>" - maybe talk a tick more about what you actually do with your life unless this is how you define your whole life and career, now and in the future.

I think this faggot site IP banned me. It keeps saying "technical difficulties."
It's not the ban that annoys me as much as the lie.

>>24508416
Cleared my cookies and it works now.

>>24500007
>don't live in a big city, so slim pickings to begin with
>not young/hot/rich enough for the few attractive women who are totally not interested in just a hookup to bother with
>not desperate enough for the dregs
>everyone in between is a flake, or just in it for the Instagram followers

Ridiculous.

>>24508641
indeed ridiculous. If anything you have better chances in big cities. Same with jobs.
More people = more chances.

>>24508416
I'm getting the same message, even after I clear my cookies

>>24508993
Had similar issue before, contacted their support mentioning that I was told that it is a ban and I'd like them to provide an explanation then for why was it issued as I followed all the rules or, if it is not a ban, I ask them kindly to resolve it.

Two days later I could login back into my account.

>>24500035
I'm definitely in agreement with this...

TMI!

Make it short enough to help people decide if they want to hear the rest.

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>browsing through matches
>Identify a pretty girl
>Take a look at her profile
>Shares interests with me
>Like her
>Message her asking about running (from her profile)
>She likes me
>No reply to message
>MFW

What more can I do?

>>24509723
Can go either way.
Either they want to take time to respond and not do it right away, like on the go.
OR they eventually decide not to respond.

Just wait.
If she doesnt answer in like 3-4 days, send one more message that adds to what you were saying, not pointing out how she hasnt responded. - Just to make sure she didnt forget or anything

so if then she still wont write back, thats it.

>>24509752
Fuck sake. It was meant to be easier.

Thanks, just frustrating. Especially after the way my last relationship ended.

I've no idea how to fill out the rest of my profile without coming up with outright bullshit that'll sound phony as all hell. It's probably just some psychological thing, but what do?

>>24509898
its like writing a resumee

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>Read profile
>Ask insightful question
>Receive one word answer

>>24510222

>How's your day today?
>its ok idk

Okcupid.com/profile/happybdayjm
I'd appreciate anyone checking out my profile for some feedback.

https://www.okcupid.com/diamond_dog_shit

>>24510835
whoops.

It's actually
https://www.okcupid.com/ Diamond_Dog_Shit

>>24510835
>>24510836

Both links 404

>>24510790

That's a pretty good profile; adequate pictures + good info without rambling or giving too much. The only thing I might change would be to name like 3 bands in the music section since alt/indie is, well, a really broad genre.

>>24510835
>>24510836
you have to use okcupid.com/profile/(your username here)

>>24510790
Its a good profile.

>>24500016
Your photo has a fucked up camera angle and you immediately make me think youre fucked up garbage and I wont bother reading anything else if you dont give a flying fuck about it then neither do I.

>>24500087
Talk about what makes you unique.
What you wrote is basically: "im just like everyone else who cares fuck it". Photo at work makes you seem like you stole a camera from the store and used it to upload to okc or something. Plus youre dirty and its in a im a loser with a loser job way. Im sure you have like some gay pot farm or something in your house since you work there and you could be dirty from doing that which would be sexy.

>>24500108
the facial expression is a bad idea
youre like <_> and disinterested
like if you were at a slave auction youd be staring at the ground ashamed of your small penis

>>24500119
you look like a fucking fat childish gnome faggot
why would i or anyone else want to touch you
dress like a fucking normal human being not a character out of your skyrim mangas

>>24500007
is there a specific template one should follow if they desire to use these websites for discreet hookups?

>Girl messages me
>She's not fat
>Get excited
>She's in China
Why must life get my hopes up, just to destroy them down?

>>24512153

Just fly to China, scrub.

>>24510894
Ah. Thank you.

okcupid.com/profile/Diamond_Dog_Shit

more more bump please provide feedback
>>24500423

>>24500007

I know my photos aren't grate but how bad are they exactly, any tips on making them better? Anything I should change in my profile? I'm only interested in Christian girls so I don't care if any of the God stuff turns off atheists.

https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Ivan41111

bumpereno

Okcupid.com/profile/BreakingHemp420

Critique it. Im tryna get a consistent lay without committment

>>24514555

Don't you think the fuck me in the ass photo might be coming off a bit strong? Other then that your photos are good.

>>24514606
Good point

Do I have to answer questions to get replies on okc? I looked through the questions and found them retarded, so I didn't answer any. I've had a few girls reply back to me when I contact them, but they drop the conversation pretty fucking quick.

I don't think I'm terribly unattractive, but I'm too embarrassed to post my profile

>>24514957

Just answer 50-100 it's easy and it lets girls know a bit about you.

>>24514983
But most of the questions either make me look like a creeper or fake as fuck.

>>24515018

Skip the more hardcore ones about sex if that's what you are getting at. Just answer shit like:

>Could you date someone who does drugs?

>How willing are you to meet someone from OkCupid in person?

>How important is religion/God in your life?

>Do you enjoy intense intellectual conversations?

Everyone else are answering these same questions it isn't going to make you look weird. People won't even be able to see your answers unless they answered the same question.

>>24515041
Answered a few questions but I'm still getting low match %.

I'll post my profile because I might as well get some real critique

https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Just_a__dude

>>24511968
hello?

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>>24500007
>autism lists
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/lilkittycatcakes

I mostly get 70 year old men asking for "massages". Weird couple threesome requests. And like 10,000 "hi" messages.

>>24515101
Dude, you've answered 14. Just take some time to answer around 100 of them; it doesn't take that long. It's a red flag for girls when they look at your profile and you barely have any questions answered.

not posting to discourage anybody, just sharing an experience. The one time I used OKCupid was a complete and total bust. I met a lot of girls that seemed interesting/interested, but all of them petered off after some time, weren't interesting conversationalists (I feel that I am). The ones that got past that stage and were friendly with my for an extended period of time never ended up wanting to hang out or progress past that stage. There was one single girl who ever wanted to hang out. She was seemingly perfect, her favorite band was the same as mine (big deal for me, they're virtually unknown), she was into everything I was, she was extremely attractive (did modeling and has a legion of like 5000 neckbeards following her on FB). Things seemed great. We dated for a week, she turned into a bitch rapidly, cheated on me, broke up with me and blocked me on Facebook. I did nothing bad to her, that I can imagine. I spent lots of time with her, helped her with her issues, always made sure she was happy. Then she just broke it off. Will never touch another dating website.

>>24515101
>https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Just_a__dude

This is very situational advice, but a lot of people don't care for "short term dating." for what that's worth.

>>24515691
Jesus, your favorite movies/etc section doesn't need to be every media you've ever consumed. Also, not having one line per entry helps make your profile less columnar.

>>24515691

You put way too much into your favorite media section. Also pls move to Texas and marry me

>>24515101
Answer 1 or 2 questions from "lifestyles", "dating", and at least one "sex". Once all those categories are started the site will like you a lot more.

okcupid.com/profile/xx-alex
R8 h8 masterb8

Uploaded a new image to the profile
okcupid.com/profile/foodadverb

Also rate, comment, etc

>>24516894

What the fuck is up with your expression in the first photo? The rest are fine but holy fuck get rid of that first one.

>>24500016
You're a fucking loser. 4 yrs a line cook and "think" you need a better paying job?

Curious what everyone's opinion on is on the 'drugs' part on most dating sites.

When sites ask about 'Drugs', do most people take that to mean 420 or if you say 'yes' wlll people assume you are a meth addict?

Also, admitting that you do drugs (even if it is just weed) on a public site is a pretty terrible idea isn't it?

I've always put 'No' to drugs even though I smoke weed, and I've found that a lot of people I match up with who also say 'no' to it are 420 friendly.

>>24517300
What type of person are you going for? Tailor your profile to be the ideal match for your ideal match. My personal definition of drugs includes nicotine, cannabis, caffeine, and alcohol. Society defines none of those as a drug (with some exceptions) so I say I've done drugs (stuff other than those 4) in the past and that I currently smoke. It's not a problem as long as your okc isn't linked with ig or anything. Also don't have pictures that are on both fb and okc, that's the easiest way to get doxxed

I'm not an expert or anything, but here are the basics in my opinion.
I honestly look like shit, but on my photos i look like i take care of myself, which is pretty much all you have to do.
And for the love of what ever the fuck you believe in, just fucking smile in at least one picture.
How is this not common sense?

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Tell me what I can do to improve profile

Also show I being up the fact that I am an adult Virgin who has never so much as gone out on a date or is that going to turn off 99℅ of earth's female population as I am assuming

>>24517300

OKC at least has an option to say "only weed" now, so now I can finally filter all of you out.

>>24517566

>Also don't have pictures that are on both fb and okc, that's the easiest way to get doxxed

Honestly I doubt anyone cares enough to dox people on a dating site. You'd typically just find a FB profile even more mundane than their dating profile. Every once in a while you might find a gold mine, but it's pretty rare.

>>24517972
I've been able to track down girls from just their profile. In fact that's how I maintained contact with my now fwb after she randomly deleted her account. It's pretty easy to get stalked if you aren't careful, though that threat goes down if you aren't a girl.

>>24517907
>overly nice, honest, self deprecating

This looks bad dude. Omit that sentence altogether. As a girl I would overlook you because of this - people who claim that they're nice are often not very nice at all, especially when they're claiming to be overly honest. Self deprecation is not really something you want to be advertising either. There's nothing wrong with being that way, but let people discover that for themselves when they talk to you.

I'd also say that you enjoy hiking/nature and coffee shops and leave it at that, as opposed to comparing those activities to partying. It gives the impression that you think that you're better than people who do partake in those activities...which you aren't. I'm sorry but what you've put on your profile makes it really obvious that you don't have experience with women...again, nothing wrong with that, but not something you really want to advertise on a dating website.

>>24500119
I think this profile is pretty good. It's succinct and honest. I think more pictures would help though.

>>24518053
Thanks. Really wasn't sure what to write down so I just put the first bit of word vomit that could think of that made me seem the least pathetic.

Also I am assume letting people know of my virgin status is a huge no-no?

>>24518128
Yep. Wouldn't recommend it.

Like I said, there's seriously nothing wrong with the personality traits you've listed and there's nothing wrong with being a virgin. Despite what everyone else says, these aren't things to be ashamed of. It's not uncommon. It's just not something people actively seek, you know? My advice is to advertise your best qualities. I like the part in your profile where you include that you're always trying to better yourself - that's a really good quality to have. What are you trying to improve on? Do you have a hobby you're working on right now? What do you like most about yourself? What are you proud of right now? You said you're good at fixing things. Maybe you're proud of how creative you are. Idk. Talk about these things instead.

https://www.okcupid.com/profile/xx_d20rollit_xx

Here's mine. Get a lot of likes, but there's no one in my area who I feel I can get along with.

>>24503941
this is fucking shitty
shit person

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This is my profile i get plenty of likes but hard to find out who from etc.Girls i do message or message back seem to get disinterested.
Any tips?

>>24517972
>>24518011
Every picture service where you post a picture of yourself should be a picture that is in a different room than all the other pictures.