Feeling down , feeling confused ask away! Psychology / Life

Why do women always pick the abusive cunts? Does loving someone, caring for them, supporting them, all that, not count as showing them you love them? Do I need to fight them on everything and just be an asshole instead of working things out?

>>24393085
People don't want what comes easily. If a girl fucked you on the first date, you would be less likely to want a serious relationship with her because there was not challenge.

>>24393085
Doing those things does not mean you love them. You might be doing all those things so she can see " how much you love her"... Why do you insist on being with someone who doesn't like you? If you tried your best thats good enough. You shouldn't be an asshole or fight them because you are not getting what you want. Try communicating with them peacefully if instead of fighting. If you get anything out of this is be ruthlessly honest with everyone in your life and do what you want in life , that way you attract genuine relationships peace

My girlfriend broke up with me 6 years ago and i plan to suicide on her birthday next month.
Why do women say "lets take a break" when they mean "i want to break up".

>>24393110
Its best to do what ever you want to do! in this life the best thing to do is be honest and do what you want. Why do you want a girl who is a challenge? Do you really think that would make her better of a person or is that just more ideal? good luck man be you and youll be fine

>>24393153
Because they dont want to be honest because they think lying avoids hurting your feelings . If you really plan on killing urself try magic mushrooms or dmt or ayahausca before you do try suicide. It might give you a million reasons to live or just one. You have nothing to lose , you are hurt man ! you dont understand how special you are as a person. You matter,! Peace

>>24393163
That was a reply to the other dude. What I was trying to say is that whenever you are always there for someone, they will take you for granted. I'm not saying I enjoy pretending that I don't care about people, only that people will try harder when they think you are becoming more distant.

>>24393074
So my girlfriend is a lying cheater but I'm still in love with her I don't know what to do but I I kinda want to marry her, but I actually think I should leave her even though I said that I wouldn't ... do you need more information? Yes I am sure she is a liar no I'm not absolutely sure that she cheated as in fucked another guy but she committed what she knew that I could consider an act of infidelity and tried to hide it and refuses to talk about it .

>>24393179
Thomas?

>>24393189
Nope. That's not even a fake name I've used online.

>>24393179
You should leave her if you are making each other unhappy. You should stay if you can just put all the bullshit aside and forgive her if it was something petty and small . Usually This happens when 2 people don't know how to be happy alone, they use each other as cruches. Best of luck man

Why do all my relationships last less than a month? Everyone I go on dates with usually ends up ghosting me or just never contacting me again or, when I finally start getting somewhere, they end the relationship. I fucking hate this so much. Cant I just have one semi stable relationship?

>>24393195
But she lies about other stuff, I wouldn't even care if she had told me I wanted to fuck this guy or I'm not really interested in spending time with you but she lies instead and says she's at work.
Also how do you leave someone with abandonment issues who you spent so long convincing thst you'd always be there?

>>24393206

Why do you feel like you need a relationship to be happy? look at how bad you want one? Practice self love , do things you enjoy my doing, try new things , do all the things you want to do but scare you, read some self help books and or practice this new concept in psychology called mindfulness. Best of luck

>>24393207
she lies? you dont do it? ever?? are you sure???why do you insist on being with a liar ? You just do it, you cant change people , you gotta change yourself first before you even think of helping others. Be the change you want to see in the world kinda thing !

I'm very, very ugly. I think differently from most people, can not find acceptance, can not relate to anyone, feel fundamentally different from most people like my atoms spin at a completely different direction, as though I'm made out of a different material entirely.

I don't think this is deluded narcissism, or Asperger's. If I wanted to play the socialization game I think I could get a few retards to feel sorry for me, but I don't think of relationships with humans like that as very fulfilling..

>>24393149
A girl rejected me because I'm not "manly enough", and I mean, I tried so fucking hard, but what am I supposed to do? I knew her for a long time, I tried staying fit for her, I cut my hippy hair, and I even tried toning down my high voice, and I even fucked some girls just so she could be proud, what else is there to do, what am I missing from being a real man?
I know saying just stay away from her is easy, but it isn't easy at all, she's all I want, like I don't really care about anything else, I would ne happy just having her. Fuck man I'm a wreck.

>>24393243
No I actually hardly ever lie. Not even on 4chan or on the internet where no one else knows . I insist on it because I'm madly in love with her, the idea of not taking care if her upsets me.

>>24393270
You can either ask her what constitutes a real man or you could tell her to shut the hell up with that shit that real men aren't afraid of seemingly unmanly because they are secure and comfortable in their masculinity.

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I don't know if you're still around but I'm trapped, isolated and alone. I'm 19, I have no job, I can't drive, and any friends that I had don't want to hang out with me, they treat me like a burden even if I try to be positive and fun.

When I'm home I do nothing but stare at this screen in my room, while my alcoholic mother emotionally abuses my father every night, screaming at the top of her lungs. My dad has retaliated physically a couple of times and I can see how this eats away at him, they both cheat on each other, I have to sit hear and listen to every word. They don't care what I think or feel and I have no place to escape, I can't drive away, I can't take refuge with a friend or even discuss it with another person.

The only thing I do is go to uni, and even that has been a harrowing experience. I haven't forged any connections there, I'm not passionate about learning anything, I'm just a zombie. I keep thinking there must be something I'm doing wrong, that I repel people automatically, that they can sense unconsciously that I'm a sad sack loser. The times I have taken initiative just get shut down, I need a strategy or something. This is meant to be the prime of my life and I'm wasting it, I know I'm wasting it. I just need someone to help me through this, I'm not dependent but one friend is all I ask.

>>24393952
Wtf isint it obvious, fuck things up! Get drunk, use drugs. Be offensive and get laid even it would bean harassing. You need to lose your boy pants and best way to do it to let loose like never before

>>24393250

one reason to feel isolated is because society is an ego institution trying to mold us their fucking way. You feel rejected because everyone is always doing the same thing and you might always go against the grain. Congrats on being the black sheep! But at the same time you might feel alone because you do not accept yourself! ID really suggest looking into self help ! I dont ever feel bad for people ,( mainly cuz feeling bad doesnt help) but i know what u mean when you say u don't fit into society when every one acts the same and wants u to fit a certain Mold. If u need any links or books id love to recommend some. Peace comes from within ! sounds cheesy but its true! u will never find happiness outside yourself Peace

>>24393270

Notice how trying to please people only gets you so far! notice how you please others in hope that you might get something out of it! Id suggest to start being a little selfish and try being genuine. Who cares if they do not accept you , or if they reject you for being honest N truthful! the bitch is when we try to plz others in order to get something. Go against the grain!!! Its ok to be a fuckn messs! You need to be a mess in order to realize why you feel that way.. Do you, be honest, stop pleasing people to get wat u want.. look into self help ! lots of youtube videos about " how to deal w certain things ! if you need any lmk

>>24394084
I don't do drugs. This seems like shallow advice.

>>24393279

you might be a very honest person yet you lie to yourself when you say you love her. You are incapable of loving someone genuinely because you dont love yourself. You only love her cuz she fills that void inside you per say and you justify it by saying you love her. Not saying you don't feel that way but maybe love is getting in the way of ur happiness. The only way to be happy is to look for it in oneself! relationships were a way i used to deal with my unhappy life. I wasn't a drug addict but lets just say i used girls to fill a void inside me. Try learning how to be happy alone, most people hate the idea of this but if you are able to do this. You will be happy with or without a relationship. that way you attract people who arent needy and use you as a crutch . Best pf luck

>>24393952

yes you are in the prime time of your life! Focus on what you could change not on what you cant change. Everything you cant change why do u want to change it? If you cant change it , change the way you look at it.

here this website has a shit ton of self help material! Watch some of his videos and get into self help its the only way!!! before you know it you will be able to master your emotions and actualize yourself.

www.actualized.org

dont be lazy! watch the videos! this is one gateway to finding knowledge thats not available to you every day and can dramatically change your life!!! Wish you well

>>24394136
OH because you dont do drugs so you know drugs dont help what if we dont know what helps before trying

>>24393074
how do I fix my marriage? we have no connection anymore. never do anything together. mainly because my husband never wants to. he just ignores me all the time. I don't feel like I matter to him at all. what do?

>>24394169

yes some psychedelic drugs help with understanding life!!! some people will never believe this but its true!!! Also make sure you guys research a little before u go doing "drugs" ! you need to learn what you are taking, magic mushrooms, ayahausca, dmt is a good place to start . Dont be fooled if used properly these drugs can have a very positive impact in peoples lives!

>>24394178

What do you want from life? Do you want to continue being a slave to your emotions! If he doesnt care you cant change that! You can only change yourself! Try falling in love with your inner child , do u like art , music? What do you like to do or liked to do before gettin married? Best way to fix your marriage us by fixing yourself first. Once you got yourself figured out you can make better decisions. There is no way i can give you a magic pill to fix it but id start with being radically open and honest with him. The only way to be happy is to be honest with yourself and everyone around you. Most of these relationship issues or problems are due to the lack of self love or self knowledge.

www.actualized.org

check this site out ! theres many great self help videos.

>>24394207
that's fucking retarded, how is doing more things by myself going to help shit? I take care of our kids, by myself, I cook and clean by myself I pay the bills by myself. if do things with our kids without him. he doesn't want to do anything but game all the time. I don't need to "fix myself" I need a husband that actually wants to be a spouse and father to his kids. you try having someone literally ignore you for years, never help with anything but then still expect you to do everything for them. I'm not a slave to my emotions I'm a slave to him and his kids.

>>24394169
I've done weed before, I hated that i didn't have control over myself.

He thinks you are a slave and since you continue doing everything for him he will continue to treat you as a slave. Stop doing everything for him, who cares what he wants. Do whats best for you and for the kids. Tell him how you feel, if he doesn't want to change or do anything why do you support his lazy ass. Hes probably used to be treated like a king that he thinks he can just do w/e he wants. And btw....
learning how to master your emotions, learning how to meditate or looking into self help will help you by empowering you in ways you never thought possible. By learning self help you also learn how to deal w/ life problems including this one... Don't dismiss personal help / self help because although it might and will not save your relationship you empower yourself. You learn how to deal w/ situations you cannot change by learning how to look at them differently .

>>24394275
well this is probably the shitties advice if ever gotten. once again I need a partner, not to be "empowered" I'm not some idiot feminist that needs to feel in control. that's not the issue. I get the whole don't do thing for him, but it doesn't seem to fase him whether I do the stuff or not. he just ignores means the kids either way. guess I just need to face the fact the I should file for device and be done. wanted to stick it out for the kids but he doesn't want anything to do with them anyways and watch him just sit on his ass on a computer 14 hours a day is driving me nuts. like he won't change a diaper ever, won't drive the kids to school or sports or anything. I swear to god it takes everything in me not to just fling the fucking keyboard off his desk and be like wtf is wrong with you!?! why are you so fucking lazy? it's like having another child. just so feed up. like I'm never mean to him, I try to be a good wife. I do everything he asks of me. he even still expects for me to give him head like ever day but he never wants to have sex. it's always 150% about him. he's just become so selfish and lazy. I don't get it

Sure, I'll take advice. 25/M, gay, virgin. Never had a relationship or anything approaching that due to being super sheltered, and loads of anxiety problems. Plus no friends in years, except uninterested online ones. Recently been trying to get out of my shell, and get laid because I'm a 25yo virgin and you can just imagine how much I jerk off.

Issue is that although I've tried to hook up with people via grindr and CL, as soon as sex is brought up, or they ask for pics, I drop them cause the whole idea is super weird, even if I'm horny as fuck and haven't cum in a few days. But then I hate myself because i really want to fuck/be fucked and all that jazz. But then also I have no interest in actually being the fucker (fucking them, getting bjs. I'm pretty much totally sub). So I guess, advice on how to get over that dumb shit and actually have fun?

>>24395328

Try to focus on just finding someone to hang out with or just literally hit up gay bars / clubs. You need to get out there and start being comfortable with being rejected . Its not a bad thing its just that we dont like being rejected. The more you expose yourself , go out more meet people and go out of your comfort zone. Face your fears! So if you are scared of going up to people and talking to them , do exactly that. Get over your fear, fear can make us feel stuck because we always give in to our future projections/ negative thoughts. Just do it,!

How do I do with the oppressive boredom and monotony of adult life? Wake up, eat, work, come home, (do drugs to deal with the depression from said monotony), sleep, repeat.
I work 2 jobs (6-7 days a week) so my free time is low.

>>24393177
If someone becomes more distant its a reason to break up.
Why should i try get someone back who want be distant?

>>24393074
Nothing interests me anymore. I constantly want to kill myself.
I only have one friend at all and she hasn't been talking to me much lately on account of her being in the middle of moving and starting a new job. I should be happy for her but all I can think of is how much it's going to hurt when she no longer has time for me.
She's been trying her hardest to talk me out of doing anything stupid and she constantly reassures me whenever I talk about how much I hate myself.
I feel like a huge burden on her and everyone else that I know.
I'm not sure what I'm trying to say with this post. I don't know what to do with my life, all I ever do anymore is cry or sleep

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>>24393074
I've been contemplating suicide for the past few weeks.

I know what I have to live for; I just don't want to

18 years old and just graduated high school. All I do is work at a ware house and go home for most of my days. How do I know how to make a living if I don't plan on going to college? How do I find a woman? Everything seems at a hand's reach, but the process is just so complex.

>>24394178
Ask him to see a counselor with you. Tell him that you really need your marriage to change. If he refuses to do anything to help you or stay married divorce him and start on the journey to finding a man who wants to be a husband and father and life partner with you. I don't particularly care for OP's responses. But if you tell you seriously need to work on it and suggest the tools to do so and he still refuses you need to leave. If you can work it out that's great but it sounds like he's just a drain.

>>24394144
It sounds like you are projecting yourself onto me. I love myself, my self esteem is fine. I was happy being single, I don't go around from relationship to relationship starved for female affection. My problem is that I have a very strong emotional attachment to someone who hurt me, refuses to discuss it, and who has a habit which exacerbates our problem. Even if we broke up I'd have a lot to process.

Okay, where should i start?
Fiancee break up with me 2 years ago.
I barely can sleep without Drugs since that had happened.
I have no Friends and mainly no interests besides lifting.
I dont talk much to other people cause i dont know about what they want to talk.
Be at home is the worst, sitting all day alone here, starring at the screen, press f5.
If i go outside, i dont know what to do there alone.
I just work for the social Contacts, i dont care about the money and just stack it up.
I dont know what i want, may i want norhing at all.
Many People think that im arrogant, cause i cant hold the view and dont talk much.
Probally there is no way to fix it.

>>24396241
What do you want to study? If you don't know I suggest attending a community college and getting your general Ed/ basics out of the way. Also getting involved in college will lead to many ways of meeting women. You can also try online dating or asking friends or simply doing things that you enjoy in public places and there will probably be women there. But you have to do some serious, deep thinking about what you want, what you can do, what are your strengths and weaknesses. That applies both to dating and college/ career advice. Break the big steps down into smaller steps until they are doable.

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I've had a really confusing and complicated relationship with women.

My story is long, stupid, and full of complete bullshit.

Here's a picture of me.

>>24396184

start practicing this concept called mindfulness. Its literally probably the only thing that would help you deal with this. Youtube: Actualized mindfulness search that!! Try starting also a meditation habit in morning at least 10 min every day. Most people wont take this advice but you will reap huge mental gains where it will help you be very calm and relaxed at all times... also have you looked into mushrooms or lsd? Those drugs can help you figure out a lot of things in life due to emotional problems stress anger etc... Most people will look at this and judge it or dismiss it before they do their own research. Have you noticed how judmental n dogmatic society is? Hope things work out for you Peaceee

>>24393074 (OP)

Its okay to feel this way i remember a few years ago where i wanted to kill myself . You’d be surprised how many people want or have thoughts about killing themselves constantly because they really don’t think life is worth living anymore. The thing is that you should learn how to calm your mind. Do you find your self having excessive thoughts and can’t stop thinking ? Notice how you might always be thinking / or day dreaming what ever you call it. A lot of the suffering we have comes from over thinking. Its like the mind is always speaking and never shuts up and all it talks about is bad or negative things, and once you have fear you start to focus even deeper daydreaming not noticing your just stuck thinking all this bull shit the mind is projecting. I would suggest going on Actualized.org and browsing through videos , he has really insightful videos on the problem you are describing. Wish you well!!!

>>24393074 (OP)

Why do you want to kill yourself ? Be dead honest with yourself? If you would die today would you really feel the way you feel right now? Lets just pretend you had an hour to live what would you do? Would you go get some ice cream, go sleep with a girl, go to the beach ? what would you do ? Then ask yourself is it really that bad that i cannot let it go? If you want to kill yourself i have two answers.. ONE is try one of these psychedelics Magic Mushrooms, LSD , Dmt , Ayahuasca . Why try this? It helps people overcome depression, anxiety and feeling stuck in life, and addictions. Many people have been healed from emotional / psychological problems. Option number #2 Start practicing a daily Meditation habit and also practice mindfulness. These practices will help you start relaxing and also shine light on areas where you feel stuck and confused about.

>>24394144

Well thats life man , your gonna have to deal with it . You fight so hard to hold on to your emotions. You need to face your demons straight on , you will break up , it will hurt like a bitch but like everything you will make it through . Your problem is that you should be honest with yourself and stop rejecting reality. You need to be very honest man . If you loved yourself why would you be so emotionally attached. If you love yourself you don’t need anybody ? You think because your confident about yourself it means that you love yourself? Look at your ego screaming to hold on because you don’t love yourself. You are probably afraid of being alone. Sorry man, not trying to attack you but you sure will feel that way after reading this. Go on this website Actualized.org …. You haave to put in the time and effort to master your emotions. How do you master your emotions if you do not know how to ? read self help books ,watch videos on self help so you can learn how to fix this problem you have with being emotionally attached. Its normal to be emotionally attached . I fuckn went crazy when i was emotionally attached with people. This is something very common in society . We are emotionally attached to everything because we can stand the idea of being alone . Ill leave you with this “ don’t worry about a thing, because every little thing , is going to be alright “ :) PEACE

I just lost my virginity to this girl, she's pretty slutty and I had fun but... I feel empty. I loved another girl for the longest time she made me laugh, her voice, the way she looked and the way she dressed (She was into lolita) hell she's the one who got me into 4chan in the first place.
She left for another school, if it wasn't for her I probably would've offed myself sooner.

I feel like a fucking baby I finally get laid with a solid 8/10 and my main complaint is that she wasn't the one I loved.

Am I fucking faggot?

24396304▶
Have you looked into taking psychedelics? You should look into magic mushrooms , lsd, ayahuasca . It has helped many people see life in a different way . So dramatic that a 20 year smoker can drop the cigarette the very next day . TO EVERYONE READING THIS PLEASE DO RESEARCH BEFORE TAKING ANY DRUG . Be careful in the sense that you do your research , look up dosages and safe environment to be safe.

Well to be honest all those people that do have many friends feel just as empty as you do . Although they project other things, thats society you can see it , how they just pretend to fit in . Anyways , Please look into Psychedelics and also very important to look into meditation habits and mindfulness. Most people are dogmatic about everything so they won’t take the advice. meditation and mindfulness can dramatically change your life if you practice . Also look into self help to get you motivated . Its important to get motivated even if its just by watching a stupid video on the internet , or smoking pot to get you into watching those self help videos. They will really help you, most people who are judgmental about drugs will dismiss this entirely and call this crazy. The option w/ out drugs would be meditation and mindfulness . Many people feel like this, i used to fucken hate life. Many people do but we can change , just by doing it . Get your ass motivated man look up those videos . Really insightful website that helped me was Actualized.org You will overcome !!! :) peace !

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lonely as shit
drunk
just kinda dont wanna feel alone

if you are fucken serious then i will tell you that no.. your mind likes to fucken label and judge because somewhere , you might of heard it , or seen a video where you got the idea that if you have feelings that make you feel like a pussy you should be labeled a "pussy or fagg" ... its okay man , you probably didn't feel connection. Its normal to feel likes theres no connection even if she was hot a fuck. Its okay to feel the way you do , the faggets are the ones that do not admit that they feel that way . Its harder to admit you have feelings because you are being open. very open and people don't have guts to be open because they don't want to be made fun of. Well more power to you man ! Be honest be yourself who cares what others have to say , we are the ones that allow their judgements to have power, If you didn't care about what people thought about you then you wouldn't feel like a faggot or pussy w/e they label you ... Im not your normal life coach , i dont bull shit .. why bull shit ? many people just want to hear what they want to hear.Hope everything works out for you OP

>>24396509
Unfortunately it has become very apparent that you and I have such varying world views and ideas on love that we will simply have to disagree. Furthermore it appears that you are not really listening to what I am saying. For one I believe in the Greek idea of multiple forms of love. Secondly I am a Christian and as part I believe in loving my neighbor as myself. I am very interested in my community and charity and helping others, not brcause I fear bring alone or crave approval but because it is more fulfulling to my life and other's thst way. Another thing you seem to be extolling emotional detachment, which is not a great thing. There are many benefits from social and emotional engagement. Humans are social animals.

i fucken love your image! its true , one day you will look back and laugh. Its okay to feel alone man !!! Nobody wants to feel that way. Yet we feel so empty inside because we have many assumptions about how life should be and we feel like a victim of life. and maybe it does feel that way but you can help yourself if you really want to . Go on Actualized.org and theres a few videos on why we feel alone. Most people feel alone because they want to feel loved, but the truth is we can't love unless we love ourselves. Sounds cliche but its the truth, we gotta be the change we want to see int this world. Nobody has the power to change you only you. Thats why its important that you try self-help . Most people put this off but if you are wise you willl start asap , most people feel alone their entire lives because they brush it off thinking that they can distract themselves from this lonelyness. It might work at times but the feeling will always come back, seek self-help books videos , learn how to master your mind and emotions. Big hug from SOCAL!!!!! Hope you feel better man, we care about you for reals! peace

>>24396542
That makes complete sense, just having sex with someone you don't care about isn't that great. Especially if you have an emotional connection with someone else.

>>24396568
Do you need a friend? Do you want to talk?

If you loved yourself first then you would have the capability of loving your neighbor. When you love yourself you are filled with peace and love . The one Christianity talks about ... If you love yourself this happens... "And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus".... Question your life and beliefs , i know this will feel like being attacked from your perspective. I was a christian also for about 20 years and you gotta dig deep . Seek some self help and my apologies to you if I offend you . Just know that im just trying to be as honest as possible . Peace !!!!

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>>24396598
sure dude
I dont really know what to talk about though