Hey there. I've been feeling the need to connect to someone.

>>24343379
What's your life like?

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>>24343379

>>24343379
I suppose, this alone might not be very interesting.
I'm about to turn 23, I have an obsessive personality, I consider myself to be pretty good looking. Tattoos, short, dark hair but I plan on letting it grow. I don't know how else to go about finding a friend. Bordering on hikikomori.

>>24343379
Why do you want to connect to strangers on the net?

>>24343406
I have a decent life. I live with my mother, and I am in med school, first year. It took me a lot to enter, that's why I'm starting now and not at 18. I have a shih tzu dog, I don't watch a lot of TV, I like quietness and get annoyed by noise easily. I live in a small place in a not so fancy area.

>>24343414
I don't understand.


>>24343420
It's easier than doing it in person. I don't like going about tagging myself with a disorder, but I have social phobia. Also, this might be silly, but in person, people accept or reject you the moment they see you, just because of what you look like, and I want to skip that shit as well.

>>24343447
I figured as much.

Do beware of losing your head over charmers, though; right now you're quite poised to do so, what with that longing of yours and feeling like you can't stand on your own.

>>24343466
Thank you.
I can stand on my own. Perhaps every now and then I really do want to have sex, but mostly, I want to share some aspects of my life, for example, I enjoy drawing a lot for anatomy. And I guess, I just want someone to notice me. But I'm not desperate for affection. I'm looking for something else. I appreciate your consideration.

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>>24343435
I'm proud of you for going to med school. That's a huge commitment. Living with family will save you a lot of money over time. I'm going to college to become a legal assistant then eventually lawyer. I wish I got along with my parents well enough to live with them. Instead, I live on my own with a Jack Russell puppy.

>>24343447
>social phobia
Have you been officially diagnosed?

I feel like I have it too, but I can't bring myself to mention it to anyone.

>>24343480
show me some drawings

>>24343447
Sounds like you're fat

Stop being fat and they won't judge

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please choose me

>>24343496
That's an adorable puppy! Thank you, I really a, determined to finish.
How are you managing your finances on your own? How old are you?
I'm mildly interested in legal stuff, but more oriented to forensics.

>>24343504
Yes. I see a psychiatrist but 'our' main concern now is OCD. It's hard talking about all these things with anybody, not even my mother has the patience for it.

>>24343524
guess im not getting chosen
look at this well adjusted, socially fluent, delicate boy next door
im fighting a losing battle, i should really just kermit suicide if you understand what im getting at here
...
if you read between the lines on this one
...
if you catch my ulterior motive on this one
...
if you smell whats cooking on this one
..
ill never land a women for my own
..

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>>24343507
pic related


>>24343517
Not fat.


>>24343521
I like that gif a lot.

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>>24343379
I'll give you a piece of advice. You can beat your own interpersonal weaknesses.

Even if you have a crippling social phobia, you can slowly beat it through effort. Just don't let it overwhelm you, we as individuals like to come to conclusions, conclusions based on lack of actual evidence, and idealizations of fear.

If you put yourself in social situations, you can build real skills for real life. I hid away in social interactions online for years, thinking I was safely building the basic skills to one day go out into the "real world".

In the end I was forced out there, it's like a baby bird in a nest, give them an easier choice, they'll stay there forever. You have to just make the jump.

It only took me a couple of months until I was more socially competent, I found myself actually being a person, I got a job, I started working out. And all these changes took were actually taking action.

I know this is a really rambling post, to TLDR, just put yourself out there. Look up a local community center, join a club at your school if you're going to one. Seeking refuge in some online buddy will probably only stay a crutch to avoid really facing your phobia.

>>24343524
I have a great job and live in district to my college making it much more affordable. I work full time midnights and then go to school during the day. I'm 25. I would like to specialize in criminal law or maybe real estate. But would dream to work in a government legislation office.

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>>24343546
did i just lose my virginity?
a girl talked to me
my pants are thoroughly drenched in my own home brewed cream

>>24343540
I'm too silly, tell me more.

>>24343570
whats there to tell
i've never been pressed on my antics before
i just do these for fun since no one talks to me
what do you want me to say
are we fucking or what
i want fuck
i want fuck
i want fuck
i want rape

>>24343547
How long did it take you to overcome this fear?

>>24343548
What do you do in your spare time?

>>24343566
That's cute.

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>>24343578

>>24343583
Music usually. Play guitar and piano. But I also game, watch movies, and try my best to be social. What about you? Other then drawing.

>>24343546
your drawing is nice, do you have more? Do you draw to release your emotions?

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>>24343592
i mean just kidding
that reaction image is really distressing
i messed it up again
iahahahsfasfsdgjn what the fuck is going on
im sorry

>>24343379
What kind of music do you like, OP?

>>24343597
I like sleeping, and movies.
I'm saving some money for learning automotive mechanics, just because.

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>>24343583
>How long did it take you to overcome this fear?

I considered doing it for years. It built up from when I was a kid, peaked in my teens, lead to the worst depression from 18 to 19 after high school when I lost all purpose.

And then I was forced to take action.

For a brief timeline ...

I had a 3 day stint at Subway, on the job training without pay, never got a call back. That shit was hard, all the customers, the coworkers, I freaked. Was oddly relieved when I wasn't called back.

Then a stones throw later I had to do some temp work in factories, plastics machines, load trucks. The worst jobs of my life, but I practiced talking to people. It felt good. But those ended after a bit, the relationships with my coworkers were temporary, it was easy.

I got permanent relationships when I got hired at a mall. At first it was the worst, so many fucking customers, I had to deal with maybe 40 people a day, plus my manager or my coworkers. One time I spilled my spaghetti in front of one of them and never wanted to come back, but I did, I needed the work.

I shit you not after 2 weeks of this job, when I knew it was secured, I was over it. All it took, really.

I lost a bit more weight running, worked on my hygiene, and in a short period the fear dissipated, hasn't been back since 2 years later. The same guy who couldn't walk a block down the road to buy a soda from the local convenience store now deals with tons of people fine.

But the point is, it takes getting out there. I could've been over this shit years ago if I had started in high school, instead of running away from my conflict and into a Skype window.

>>24343622
I wish you the best of luck in your future!

>>24343598
Thank you. I have some others, but they are of bones. I'm working on skeletons tonight, I might show you. I do, yes. I like to draw women and dead people.

>>24343608
I feel like I know you.

>>24343612
Death metal, doom, black, sludge, stoner, and rock, various types, mostly. But I only listen to music when I have a lot of energy.

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FUCK I FUCKED IT UP I FUCKED IT UP I FUCKED IT UP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH FUCK EVERYTHING IM NOT GONNA STAY ALIVE ANYMORE
IM DONE LIVING
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING BITCH OP IM FINALLY KILLING MYSELF CUZ OF YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU STUPID BITCH YOU KILLED ME

>>24343641
nvmd

>>24343640
damn I'd love to see more. I've been getting into oil painting recently and it really helps me get off my mind, it's really relaxing.

>>24343640
u could get to know me ;o

>>24343640
Would you like to recommend some bands? The most hardcore music I've ever liked was probably Skinny Puppy (still like them). I can't say i've ever liked a death metal album but maybe that can change.

>>24343640
Hah, we actually have similar taste in music

what keeps you from checking out of life?

>>24343628
I'm glad it has worked out for you.
I don't feel as though I'm seeking solace online, because I'm actively trying to socialize with my classmates. I'm just giving it a chance on here as well.

>>24343636
Thanks, and likewise. Did I seem too apathetic, or was it the boring hobbies?

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>>24343676
Sorry if way too much of my post was about my struggle. Look, I just wish you best.

Keep working in the your concrete space outside of a computer screen, you're gonna do fine OP.

>>24343676
Nah, you're good senpai.
Just too many posters.

>>24343696
Soc has betrayed me.
I never wrote senpai.

>>24343641
There are only two options. Your next post will tell me which one it is. Install the app 'discord', and we'll get to know each other.
>>24343649
Want to show me a painting?

>>24343653
One of the bands that really got me into death metal is Akercocke, they have a mix of black&death metal. The album Choronzon is really classy.

>>24343655
Do you like Acid Bath?

>>24343659
I love the career path I chose.

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>>24343379
whats your favorite book and do you like my puppy?

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>>24343716
Here's the one I'm working on lately

>>24343716
so, helping others through medicine?
how altruistic.

i kind of wish i would've done something more beneficial like a teacher or something, but I opted for whatever paid the best instead.

is there a specific place you want to end up in your career?

>>24343727
Ubik, and yours?
And hell yes, I love puppies.

>>24343743
Being very honest, I love this kind of landscape, except I'd make it darker, like a night in Siberia or such.

>>24343762
It's not just that. I find the human body and mind fascinating, and yes, I am very empathetic. I don't know yet, my initial intention was psychiatry, but I've been interested in forensics lately. What did you choose?

>>24343771
mine is the little prince, and I hope your night got better.

>>24343800
I was going for more of a zerg landscape like in starcraft

>>24343813
Thank you.

>>24343825
Sounds like sci-fi, which is even better.

>>24343716
>Acid Bath
Only "Scream of the Butterfly"; I was listening to that earlier today.

>>24343840
Listen to 'Cassie eats cockroaches', to me it sounds like having sick sex with a novice killer.

>>24343834
yeah, I love sci-fi. I read almost all the books of isaac asimov. I have a passion for robots and space exploration.

>>24343866
First question... Are you Australian? That's the only country I know which allows for direct application to medical school at 18, which you said you could have done...

Second question... what about forensics interests you? This is an area where my knowledge comes into play.

>>24343800
i'm doing software development
i guess there's some people who find it fulfilling, but i just don't. solving complex problems gives me fleeting purpose, but 80% of the time im just in cruise control dreaming of being some place else

the human body really is fascinating
the complexities are astounding, but it seems like we're making so many huge strides in understanding it.
at the rate of scientific discovery were going i can imagine the day we reduce our understanding of our entire bodies to formulas, from which we can essentially control evolution itself.

>>24343414
Holy shit. Did you draw that naturally or make it???? Reversed swords undelying? That's kinda nasty. Like sleeping on a bed of swords for your whole life. sleep soon

Archaevist Kik is preferred. Also my Instagram l. You talk and think in symbols.. Can be very hard to balance. Like... Peoples actions can feel painfully sharp to me. Like they're leaning too heavily.

Best of luck. I have some books? If you're a reader be well

knight of wands

>>24343961
I'm Mexican.
Criminal psychology and analyzing wounds. What interests you?

>>24344307
Phew, glad you're in medicine and not law enforcement in Mexico currently.

I just like helping people, that's why I do what I do. And United States here.

>>24344015
That's actually Galaxy Tarot, lad; I use it because I have better sortilege with my phone than with my cards. Also, it's faster and easier in bed. But the spread wasn't for me; it was actually for OP.

>>24344307
Muy tarde despierta; yo también

>>24344355
What do you do? Where in the US?

>>24344359
How should I have gone about the tarot reading? Just choosing a card? Where in Mexico are you?

>>24344361
law enforcement and Oklahoma.

It's sad how American inability to accept Communism as a viable alternative to Democracy led to a war ravaged Vietnam for decades, and now an American inability to accept drug addiction as a public health crisis instead of a law enforcement boondoggle has led, very directly, to a violence and corruption filled Mexico.

American policies are so short sighted and yet so damaging.

>>24343379
Just add me on kik: Rezz22. I think we can have special connection

>>24344376
Kik is not a popular app here, but I'll save your username and add you later, after I sleep.

>>24344366
That spread is called the Celtic Cross. It's one of the most common larger spreads, and it's something every tarot reader should know how to read.

When I use my cards, I use original spreads like 90% of the time; I developed them to reflect my reading style and personality. There are no hard and fast rules for reading; just guidelines. It's a very individualized practice.

As far as choosing the cards, that's called sortilege. The most common method involves shuffling the deck for an indefinite period of time and drawing all the cards from the top. My method involves sorting through the deck and pulling the card that feels righr, repeating for each card. It's something I picked up from a student I had once upon a time whom I taught to scry.

Past that, it's just telling a story based on the spread.

And I'm not Mexican; I live in California.


>>24344015
Oh, and I'm a knight of wands as well, soon to be a king.

>>24344375
There are too many factors involved in every one of these events. In general, I think we as a species are very short sighted, we only care for what's obvious and directly harming to us. There's a lot to say about it.
I have an inherent dislike for authority (heh), but perhaps where you live it isn't as fucked up as here.

>>24344385
Sorry. How did you learn Spanish?

>>24344389
The authority tends to be more authoritarian there than here, where it's more relaxed.

And yes, short-sighted. Like Trump, and his idiotic wall. But as well as being short-sighted, he's also short-fingered and short on intelligence.

So, how does one talk with you after you've slept?

>>24344391
My mother grew up in Mexico, so I was taught at a young age. From there, I studied in school for many years to refine it.

It's an extremely useful language to know in California.

>>24343379
Can't see much of you in that picture, but something about it makes me imagine you as a witch. The attractive kind of witch like in that movie The Craft

>>24344403
Oh hell, I don't know what the deal with Trump is. I keep telling myself it's just a cruel and bizarre joke, just like our president...
Do you know an app named 'discord'? If not, I'm making a kik account later today, if you have an username, leave it here and I'll add you when my account is done, I promise.

>>24344414
I liked that movie as a child.
I'm nothing close to a witch, but I suppose you could say my dressing style is kind of goth, so there's that.

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What the fuck is this stupid edgy thread, go outside moron

>>24344417
Saw your eye and thought to myself "woo hoo witchy woman she got the moon in her eye"

it's a line from a song by the eagles, if you didn't get the reference

>>24344415
Can I leave a throwaway email for you to send your discord and/or kik user name to?

If so, please send to [email protected]

I hope to hear from you soon.

I don't know if I'm interesting enough to actually start a condo but here's my try.
I don't like to meet people in person. Somehow I give this vibe of being a cool guy who likes to party and get drunk and always get to "meet" people who are into this, the truth is that I prefer to stay in my house watching a movie or drawing (trying at least). People always tell me that I should get out more, I guess they are right but I never get the opportunity to connect to anyone, not in a bland superficial way, everything seems so foreign to me.
I'm not saying I'm a social outcast, people do call me friend, people say the like me or even love me but... For some reason I can't share that feeling, I feel more reading some anon post in here than hearing someone parents died.
Maybe I'm a social piece of shit, but right now I'm in a state "mirando todo desde un punto de vista externo" if you know what I mean.

>>24344600
If you stop speaking beaner maybe someone would understand you.

Pinché cabron.

I can't, beanerism is in my blood

>>24343716
You dont want to get to know me

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>>24343379
I took a minute and a half to actually read this thread, and Im pretty surprised it didnt turn into porn 3 posts in.

To be honest I think the guy you drew for anatomy looks good but his face says "its been 6 hours and my ass hasnt spat out the anal beads". I wish I could draw that good. But stick figures are the best story tellers.

Im usually up at night. Im getting my first tattoo this upcoming month and Im getting a matching tattoo with the only friend Ive had since highschool. She was there for me when she didnt even know I needed her too.

If the thread is still open later and Ive lost most of my decency too intoxicants, we should talk yea?