Anyone here molested as a child? Gay or straight, hot or horrifying.

>>24235953
>be me 10 or 11
>live in apartment complex with mom and little bro
>large courtyard surrounded by buildings.
>play there all the time
>one day see girl I went to elementary and part of middle school with
>Had a crush on her, major
>curly brown hair, cool as shit, tiny bit of a tomboy
>her parents are divorced, dad lives across the courtyard now
>she's over on the weekends, we spend time together outside all the time
>my mom and her dad meet since we are over at each other's places all the time
>Mom's cool with me spending time over there. Thinks her dad will be a good influence on me since my dad bailed (white, not a nigger)
>Her dad invites me over one day when the girl is not there
>asks me all kinds of strange questions about if I like his daughter and if I like girls and shit
>think I am in trouble
>asks me about if I touch myself ‘down there’
>he’s giving me the sex talk. Wasn’t clear until he got to the end and then my mom asked about it later.
>my mom asked him to, it seems. She says it is something my dad is supposed to do
>embarrassed, but he seems nice and cool about it.
>talks about porn and then shows me some. long time ago, so VHS, no internet yet
>talks about masturbation and what it is and that it’s ok, all guys do it
>long story short, he tells me I can watch porn when I want at his house and he'll leave the room so I can spank it.
>Kinda horrified and embarrassed but also really want to see more porn.
>go over occasionally and ask to watch porn. He’s always cool about it. Pops some in and leaves the room.
>Sometimes, after a while, he walks into the room, passing through, or to get something. Sometimes he just sits over on the other side of the couch and watches porn too but not looking at me.
>sort of embarrassed, but after a while, not.

>>24235957
>Soon he’s jerking his cock at the same time. First in his boxers and then soon out in the open
>amazed at the size of his cock. Never seen an adult one IRL. Watching him cum blows my mind the first time. I still can’t jizz.
>There is a video camera, which I know now, was on every time but didn't realize at first. I am a dumb kid
>this goes on for a while. Jerking to porn in the same room, but a lot of the time I am just watching him and how he does it, using lube sometimes etc. I’m just playing with my cock and watching him cum all over himself.
>occasionally we’d shower together after, but he wouldn’t really touch me.
>One day he comes over while I am playing with mine and gets down on his knees, I am on the sofa.
>Asks me if I want to try something that feels really good. Tells me to close my eyes and take my hand away.
>And now he’s sucking me…
>Horrified and embarrassed and scared but oh god yes, that feels amazing,
>He sucks me while jerking himself. Still no real orgasm from me though.
>first real orgasm comes very soon after. Maybe like a few weeks after.
> I think my first real jizz was in his mouth. That took a bit of time to happen though.
>When it did happen I was surprised. Thought I had peed a little and tried to get him off. He lifted his head up and spit my cum into his hand and showed me.
>He told me he was so proud and that I was becoming a man and could make babies and stuff.
>we do this for a while, we’d start jerking separately then he kneels in front of the couch and sucks me while jerking his cock.
>at first he just shot his cum on the carpet but after a while he stands up and shoots it on my body but he always waits until after I have cum.
>showering together more now because I’m frequently covered in his jizz, he always swallows mine
>asks me if I want to touch his cock in the shower one day
>goaheadtasteit.png

>>24235966
>It seems impossibly big but I can get quite a bit inside my mouth. He moans a bit and says that it feels so good. Doesn’t cum that time but he’s very happy and telling me how good I am and stuff.
> Soon after I'm sucking him at request
>for a while, at first, he always pulls away and cums into a towel or on his chest but then one day “forgets” and I get it my mouth.
>Swallow some instinctively. Not a fan but it’s ok. Next time he asks me to swallow.
>surewhynot.avi
>Start to learn how to suck well. He’s teaching me, coaching me to use my hands with my mouth, to play with his balls, rub his taint, etc.
>He’s always telling me how good it is and I hate to say this, but I loved it. I loved the feeling of pleasing him and the praise and also my own orgasms.
>Didn't understand gay vs. straight, still knew I liked girls but it felt great.
>Get to go over after school, get my dick sucked to completion and then suck him for a while. Not so bad.
>He continues to coach me on how to suck him off, learn how to get him off quickly and how to make noise and show enthusiasm. He’s always showering me with praise.
>this goes on for a LONG time. Maybe over a year. Then he shows me gay porn.
>maleonmalepenetration.exe
>never knew that shit was possible, I am a dumb kid – told me it feels just like a girl from the giving end, feels even better from the receiving
>sucks me with a finger inside me while I watch 2 dudes rail each other on TV.
>cum buckets and I’m hooked, start anal play at home as well, literally sharpies in pooper
>eventually, he tries his cock in me. I’m 11 or 12 maybe.
>On my back, scared as hell, shaking, but hard, hurts bad but I really wanted to get past it.
>he’s actually cool about it, stops, tells me it will take time
>doesn’t even cum, massages my asshole and puts Vaseline on it. Kinda sore next day but not bad.

>>24235975
>after some time, we try again.
>Shows me how to clean myself out in the shower with this bulb enema. Not embarrassed by sucking cock or swallowing a man’s jizz but the idea of him seeing me poop kills me for some reason
>after shower he spends a long time massaging and fingering me, gets 3 fingers in. I’m on my stomach, feel him climb on top.
>okheregoes.jpg
>the pressure, oh my god.
>he pumps for a while, I am pretty numb so it doesn’t really hurt except when he goes deep. He’s asking me if I am okay a lot and telling how good it feels. Apparently, I am a good boy. :-P
>he finally cums inside, didn’t love it, didn’t hate it, but I didn’t cum until he blew me after.
>we do this maybe once a week or two. Start to get loosened up over time, taking man cock like a fucking pro.
>about 12 or 13 now, pubes just coming in IIRC
>wish I could tell someone, not to make it stop but because it’s like the best thing ever to me. Guy is like a Dad to me as well, takes me places with his daughter, presents at Christmas. Talks to me about guy stuff. Helps me with my homework.
>Plus he sucks a mean dick and gives me access to porn
>he tells me that we’ll get in trouble if I tell anyone because only adults are supposed to do these things
>understand that dad has been videotaping everything, didn’t before, but now he’s not hiding it.
>I am not really embarrassed though so I don’t care. Never consider why he would tape it. I was a dumb kid
>Starting to feel weird about the secrecy. Literally have no idea how bad this is, or what would happen if my mom found out. My only exposure to any of this was with him and it was normalized there but the fact that it was off limits everywhere else was very confusing to me.
>Hear gay and fag at school but literally no idea of the connection to what I was doing. I thought gay was about two boys being in love or not being able to have sex with a girl for some reason.

>>24235979
>He never kissed me or anything like that. Put his arm around me on the couch and stuff and would give me rubdowns with oil, especially before fucking me.
>Figured out much later the gay porn which he only showed occasionally had no kissing or anything. He either edited it out or fast forwarded. I think there were only like 2 scenes total.
>One day we are the sofa bed which was still folded out because his daughter has just left
>I’ve cleaned up and cleaned out, like a good boy, lubed myself up a bit and I’m jerking myself while he sets up the camera as usual
>This time though there is a long cord into the TV which is an enormous rear projection model. Old school now, but state of the art then.
>first time he’s ever done a live feed type thing so I can see. Think it’s the coolest thing ever.
>I am sucking him and he’s watching it on the TV behind me. Kinda rush the BJ because I want to see it too.
>He lays flat on his back, and I am squatting over his dick and he’s holding my ass cheeks in his hands. Slides me down on his cock. I’m hard, sticking straight out.
>takingitlikeapronow.webm
>I’m watching this on the big TV, fucking amazed, because I had no idea that’s what it looked like really.
>I can see his cock sliding into me and it’s AMAZING. It looks like the porn he’s showed me and for some reason it was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. His cock looks too big but then it’s inside me and I’m pressed down to his balls.
>Sliding up and down slowly, want to jerk myself but have to use my hands to steady myself.
>switch to doggy, face towards tv
>For some reason, and this is something that I probably am just starting to understand fully, I am understanding that I am the ‘girl’. Not that I am a female but that I am the one who always gets fucked and it’s because of my physical size and role in our relationship.

>>24235953

you are a sick fucker, no one wants to read your bullshit

>>24235983
>I don’t exactly understand all of that then really, but I feel this wave of what may have been shame or embarrassment. I know I felt physically hot all of a sudden.
>then on my back at the edge of the bed. Dad’s holding the camera, sort of POV
>start jerking my cock, watching myself on TV
>He’s filming and smiling down at me asking if it feels good and I nod. He says it feels really good to him and that I am sexy
>’Sexy’ makes me feel very weird. I’m surprised by the word, and stop looking at him and go back to looking at the TV.
>suddenly cum buckets all over myself, never done that while being penetrated
>hellyes.jpg
>That really cemented how I felt about anal. Being fucked was a thing for him and I did it because I really kinda loved the guy but it always made me nervous
>felt like I would get hurt, as there was always a tiny bit of pain, but now I get it.
>I also would get a bit soft and never thought I could get off like I did when he fingered me but this was a whole different level
>so Dad pulls out, cums all over me, which normally, he always came inside
>some lands on my face
>firsttimeforthat.ogg
>dad zooms in, I am watching myself turning my head back and forth.
>seen it in porn never on me, kinda mesmerized, dads got a huge grin
>okthatwasfun.scr

>>24235984
Cool

>>24235988
>this goes on till I am about 15 or 16, right before highschool
>dad rails me or blasts my throat. Girls ignore me but I have less interest because my balls are always empty
>Went to Disney with him and his girls even, mom couldn’t afford it. He never did anything with me when they were around though.
>Dad basically treats me like the son he never had which I know sounds horrifying to some but I fucking loved the guy
>must have swallowed buckets of cum, mom had no idea, never almost got caught
>as I got older, from time to time I would worry about what we were doing, getting caught, being called a fag, etc.
>He’d always reassure me…and then fuck me. He never tried to kiss me or make out or cuddle or anything. No feminization, no verbal abuse nothing at all.
>Never close to getting caught since we were in his Apt. My mom called sometimes to tell me to come home or whatever.
>The occasional weekend when his daughters weren’t there were awesome. He’d take me to a movie, then we’d go home, cum all over everywhere, shower and then he’d make grilled cheese and we’d watch cartoons or something
>then things got weird, and awful and that part is hard to reconcile with this part.
> I wonder from time to time if he hadn’t crossed a line, and also if he hadn’t been taping it and shit, if I would have any negative feelings about it at all.

>>24235953
bumpan

I know there are some folks out there with stories to tell.

I'm on mobile now so I'll greenbelt later. My adopted dad raped and molested me for a decade. Also molested by my high school drivers ed coach. Will include detailed stories later. I'm female and 25 now.

>>24236130
Greentext

>>24236130
Cool. You doing ok now?

>>24235994
The beginning got me wet but that was unnecessarily verbose. Good fiction

>>24236187
Cool.

>be 13 y/o girl at camp
>have obvious crush on older counselor
>am upset one day because I'm homesick
>he asks if I want to go for a walk
>kisses me in the woods, first kiss ever
>rapes me and quits three days later

I'm a lesbian now

>>24236292
Sorry to hear that anon. Trust is a fucked up thing to lose at a young age.

>>24236130
you probably deserved it lol

I was really young when this happened so I don't remember much and even once posted it on another board asking if it really sounds as fucked as it seems to me. Its two stories that happened really close in time.
>be very young, like 3-4
>have young working parents so often am babysat by relatives
>mainly ones that already have kids so we'd keep each other occupied
>one frequent babysitter was my mom's best friend, who had two boys my age and one a little older (for clarity, i'm a girl)
>over there often enough ad for long enough periods of time that i sometimes am given baths while there
>one day older boy comes in while i'm being bathed
>i remember him acting weird and asking his mom a bunch of questions, i guess he never saw a naked girl before
>nothing happened that day but the next time i went over there all three boys cornered me in their room while their mom was making lunch
>held me down, pulled my underwear off and groped around down there
>stuck fingers and toys in me, scratched me up really badly i think i just know it hurt
>they told their mom i fell when she heard me crying
>all i could say was that they hurt me because i didnt even know what they did
>three against one, got reputation as liar with that babysitter
>my mom just got told that i hurt myself while playing

1/2

> get molested by an older neighbor girl when i was around 6-7
> create a mental block or something and cant remember it
> have nightmares about this girl for years without knowing why
> finally remember out of nowhere around 14 years old
> freak out but tell no one
Now I'm 20 and asexual as hell

>>24236845

second story
>same time
>other frequent babysitter was aunt and uncle
>they were (and are) very strange socially stunted people
>moms family though and they have a son my age so i go there a lot
>its actually really fun when i can just play with my cousin but the issue was the parents
>aunt is super cold and distant and punishes my cousin overly severely
>like toddler pooped his pull-ups, better beat him with a metal spatula type stuff
>uncle pays little to no attention to his kid though, and instead always wants me to sit with him because i'm cuter
>i watch tv with him (always something really inappropriate and in hindsight probably at least some of it was porn)
>he shows me playboy type mags and tells me what to do to be sexy when i grow up
>i sit next to him at dinner table and he lectures me on what to eat because 'no one wants a fat girl'
>pretty sure he used to give me sedatives because theres a lot of overnight visits where theres nothing between dinner time and the next morning's ride home
>definite memories of him putting a bandana gag on me and of him pressing me down by the neck but i dont have anything else connected to them
>dont think i ever told parents, they still go to bbqs with him
>cousin passed away when we were still kids
>they still babysit for other relatives at least one of which has a child terrified of them

>>24236845
>>24236867
>>24236885

Thanks for sharing. I wish you folks the best.

>>24236885
>cousin passed away when we were still kids
probably got killed by them

>>24237921
Fr
Or killed himself

>>24237924
And there are so many people ignoring this or preventing the kids to escape the situation, baka

>>24237931
Theres hardly anything protecting children, besides individuals own morals :/

>>24237941
People hate the idea that they dont have full power over children I guess

>>24236885
you have to talk.
YOU HAVE TO TALK.

anon, you don't want to live with regret.

Bumpan

Sure, I'll bite. 19/F

>be me
>I was maybe 6 or 7 years old at the time.
>My female cousin (I'll call her Chrissie) comes over for a sleepover. I think she was 13 then... definitely middle-school age.
>Chrissie was like a best friend to me. We did everything together.
>We decided to watch some VHS movies in my room after a long day of playing outside. It was the early-2000s, after all.
>Chrissie picks the same movie each time; Never Been Kissed (1999). She was a boy-crazy teen, so it wasn't surprising that she liked that movie so much.
>After a while, we get to the saucy kissing scene. Kissing and sex scenes always made me feel weird as a kid, but I was too young to know about the concept of arousal.
>Chrissie turns to me and asks "You wanna try kissing like that, Femanon?"

To be continued...

>>24238228
>>To be continued...
Please...

>>24238228
(Sorry if I take forever, I'm on my phone.)

>I'm unsure at first. I thought kissing was just between boys and girls, and I didn't know girls could kiss each other too.
>Chrissie laughs and says "Girls kiss all the time! That's what girls do so they can kiss boys the right way. You don't want a bad first kiss, do you?"
>I was still a bit unsure, but I said okay anyway. I wasn't the type of kid to disobey and say no to people who were older than me, and I trusted her anyway.
>"Okay, Femanon. Just lay down on the bed, close your eyes and relax."
>After I lay down, Chrissie gets on the bed too and straddles me. She was a skelly-bone girl, so she weighed almost nothing.
>Then she leans down and kisses me. Nothing sloppy like the scenes in the movies we watched, just our lips lightly touching. It was pretty pleasant.
>After a few minutes like that, she slides her tongue in my mouth. It felt weird to taste someone else's mouth and feel her tongue against mine, but I keep going along and start kissing back the same way.
>We kept kissing like this, wriggling our tongues around, exploring each other's mouths, awkwardly crashing our teeth together... things got heated in no time at all.

Cont.

>>24238258
>I start getting hot and sweaty, since we were kissing under a blanket in the middle of summer. I break away from the kiss to complain.
>Chrissie says "Here, let's take our pajamas off." Then she undressed me, including my panties for some reason.
>She only stripped down to her underwear. She already looked really boyish before with her bowl-cut hair, but she looked even more so with less clothes, especially since she was incredibly hairy.
>We continued kissing again, but this time it was... different.

Cont.

>>24238298
(Crap, I accidentally closed the tab. Sorry if my ID changed)

>While we're kissing, she's running her hands up and down my chest. I can feel her hands brushing against my nipples, and it made me feel strange. I start squirming.
>"Relax, Femanon..."
>It was then that I realized something about this was wrong. However, I obeyed her and let her keep going, since I didn't want to make Chrissie angry.
>She starts rubbing and pinching my nipples, which kinda hurt. I just shut my eyes and focus on the kiss to distract myself.
>I almost don't realize that she started touching my... That was definitely not okay with me. I break the kiss and start kicking. "Chrissie, what are you doing?!"
>She sits on my legs to pin me down and says "Femanon, stop! It's okay, it's okay! This is the special part of kissing..."
>I feel her hand sort of... massage me there. It didn't feel bad, but it was definitely super weird to me.

Cont.

>>24238346
>Chrissie never penetrate me or anything (thank god), but she did slip her finger to rub my clit. It felt odd, just like everything else... but somewhat pleasant too. I can't really describe it.
>I felt her grinding on my thigh a bit while she was doing this too. Her pubes were really scratchy.
>Suddenly, my dad barges in to tell us it's time for dessert. He didn't know what we were doing since it looked like we were just sleeping together under the blanket.
>Once he's gone, we get up and put our clothes on.
>"Don't tell ANYONE about this, okay Femanon? No one. It's our little secret."

This goes on every time she comes over for about a year until she moves away to be adopted by another family.

I didn't realize that I was molested until I was much older. I'm not super traumatized, but I still feel used... this experience probably fucked me up in the head a bit too. If only I wasn't so naive...

>>24238369
Lel
Ok

27 year old female. Stepfather started touching me when I was 9 and continued until I was 17 and my mom left him. I don't remember a ton of it but I remember some stuff.

>10 years old, go to computer room to say goodnight to stepdad. He tells me there is a funny video I should watch and has me sit on his lap, I am wearing a long shirt and underwear. I feel something stiff and very wam against my ass, he puts on some funny animated video. The feeling gets more wet and he is making some grunting noises very quietly under his breath. After about 5 mins he tells me to go to bed. When I get up in the morning to change my underwear are gone.

>12 I am laying in bed in my room, he comes in to check on me and I pretend to be sleeping. He sticks two fingers in my mouth and slowly 'fucks' my mouth with them, I can hear him unzip and know he is jerking off. I pretend to still be asleep like I did a lot. He finishes and leaves the room, it's the first time I touch myself and have an orgasm. Very confusing.

>13-17 moments where he gets more bold, my mom goes away for culinary traning and he goes down on me, teaches me to suck cock. Puts me on birth control eventually saying to my mom it's the responsible thing to do. Eventually starts fucking me, takes my virginity and cums in me as much as he can. Tells me that if my mother ever found out she would hate me, abandon me and I would get kicked of of the family. She left him for other reasons when I was 17. She still has no idea what he did.

Really fucked me up because sometimes I remember cumming so hard and it feeling so good, but I also remember feeling so sick and confused and scared so often.

>>24238549
I am Op and I feel the same way. It was great and horrible and it's hard to reconcile. I feel ya anon.

>>24238549
Do you have any sexual fetishes as an adult that you feel have come from your childhood experiences?

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>>24238549
I wanted to ask this earlier but I couldn't do it until I got home.

Were you happy when your Mom divorced him? Was it a relief to see him go or did you miss him?

For me I know that as a horny teenager who was having sex regularly it was frustrating as fuck when I stopped. Even though I walked away and was glad I did it I had no sexual outlet. It compounded how upset I was over the whole thing.

How are you now?

I can't imagine how this whole thing would play out emotionally for a girl. There is a heap of shit that comes with being a female who is sexually active and to heap on that childhood immaturity in mind and body. Fucking hell.

>>24236170
Oh yeah. I mean I have my problems but my baggage comes from my mother's abuse, not the sexual abuse. It definitely inspired some interesting desires. The desire to worship a man and earn his affection as a result of having to earn my father's affection by giving him what he wanted and I'm very sexual now almost to a fault.
>>24236779
I guess I did
>>24236136
Where do I even begin
>Be under school age
>Things are okay in newly adoptive family
>Dad begins with things like touching me before bed and waking me with molestation
>Soon becomes a norm
>Dad makes me promise not to do drugs, not to drink, and throws in not telling anyone about what we do
>Mom always leaves for work at 4am as she works almost 2 hours away for some reason
>Like clockwork I'm woken up to perform duties that my mother wouldn't
>Take her place in the bed each morning
>Turns into more than heavy petting and I guess sex becomes normal
>Get rewarded for giving him "what he needs" so I get "what I need" which is basically just father daughter bonding
>Mother is jealous of our relationship as she should be
>These feelings soon turn into hatred and resentment
>I am now the target of aggressive and violent attacks and constantly being blames and put down over their relationship
>Create huge fear of women
>Father raises me to provide for men
>Sticks with me into my teenage years even though I have left my family and gone into foster care
I'm fine but I think people handle things differently and could have easily been broken

>>24240139
how fine is fine? has it had no effect on your relationships?

Idk if I really count, I always have a hard time classifying what happened to me due to the ages and whatnot. I still consider it an assault of some sort.
>Be in 2nd grade
>friendless loser
>bullied a lot, classmates all think I'm weird.
>Most popular girl in class befriends me
>social life looking up, less depressed because kids are nicer to me now that I have the backing of a popular girl
>Makes me buy stuff or even steal stuff for her
>forced me to smoke a cigarette with her from time to time.
>Always threatened to ostracize me if I didn't do what she wanted.
>Threatened she'd tell the other kids in my grade about the stealing and smoking if I ever stepped out of line.
>Tells me to take a bath with her one day, I think this is weird since we're too old. Her parent's didn't seem to think anything of it.
I don't remember much detail here, I've blocked it out for many years but,
>Basically just forces me to touch her and she touches me
>this goes on all year really. Too afraid to ever stop her, but I never wanted to do it.
>She moves the next year and I never heard from her again.
>Fast forward to 5th grade when we got our shitty "bare minimum" sex ed.
>Learn what happened to me was sex, in a way.
> "You get pregnant when you have sex, and sex is touching someone else's body parts"
>Spend the next year afraid I was pregnant, because I still didn't understand how fucking pregnancy works. Thanks America.
>Then when I learn how retarded I am I spend the rest of my life basically afraid I have AIDS or some other STD.
>I realize it's unlikely but to this day I still sometimes wonder but I'm too afraid to check.
I've never had PIV sex, I'm deathly afraid of it and I blame it on this experience (namely the overwhelming fear of pregnancy and STDs that developed after the fact.) I've only had one boyfriend before, but he ended up kind of being a douche which unfortunately has only left yet another negative impression on dating and sex for me.

>>24240139
What is your opinion of people that think this is very hot but also terrible at the same time

>>24238549
>>24240139
>>24240337

POST PICS IF YOU CAN PLS

>>24240813
you gonna jerk off to it? lol

>>24240823
MAYBE

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>>24239506
I have some fetishes that are a (arguably) tame, the usual bondage and rougher stuff... but I also have some repressed fantasies that are odd and probably frowned-upon by most. Fantasies of being raped, kidnapped, used in every way possible... Not very ladylike, I know.

It's not very likely I'll ever experience such things, since my experience with Chrissie kinda made me develop trust issues to the point of staying virgin this long... who knows.

>>24240813
Lol no thanks

>>24241137
Would you be open to talking about it more over kik?

>>24240199
I would think only positive. I am hypersexual and that can be toiling on less sexually driven men. I was just in a 6 year relationship and I feel like I could have spent that time on someone that would have appreciated my willingness to serve, etc. Basically, he was lazy, in love with cars more than a relationship with another living being, and didn't really want the same things. Don't get me wrong, I love cars.
>>24240469
I share the exact same feelings and I get off to some pretty fucked up shit so no judgement, no bully...

>after school program when in 2nd grade
>japanese class
>best friend is japanese
>his big sister is the japanese para
>she sucks me off a lot
>ongoing for about 3 years her jerking me off, sucking me off, and making me touch her
>9th grade
>she's teaching japanese at the high school now
>we fuck in school all the time
>don't feel molested ay all to this day
>we're still very close

>>24241229 I wasn't going to comment but I was molested too.
Is the hyper sexual thing normal? Because I also am hyper sexual and really obsessed with pleasing my partner, earning affection, giving them pleasure. I don't know if this is normal because I never told anyone about it and nobody knows and I coped with it alone.

>>24241252
It's normal for me. I can't speak for everyone but from what I can tell, you typically go one extreme or the other. In my honest opinion, we went the better route as far as coping and adjusting goes. Find someone that will appreciate that part of you and embrace it.

>>24241256
But I'm so fucked in the head sexually. Also I'm a guy, which for some reason makes me feel like I'm statistically less likely to find a woman like that.

>>24241262
So am I... Willing to talk about it. Literally nothing you say is going to put me off. [email protected] is my skype or just email me. let me know if you do.

>>24241267
I'm going to email you, I don't have Skype.

>>24241270
That's fine. Looking out for it.

>>24241275
I sent a screen shot of you replying to me.

You're fucking sick

>>24241297
Oh hey Captain Obvious is trying to get promoted to Major.

>>24239506
I dabble in some bdsm related activities, I like to be dominated but also like to dominate. I like risky sex, where we can get caught or seen. I am attracted to older men but have never slept with any. I am into rape play, blood play and so on. Sexually I am very into most things and generally always turned on, I expect is a result of my 'conditioning'

>>24239708
I was happy when she left him mainly because he was a pain in the ass to live with and I don't mean because of the sex, he was ex military and very strict, grounded me constantly, kept all fun from happening. Would critique me for my food choices, clothing choices and so on. Now however I am doing okay, long term relationship with a good man who is my age, we just bought a house and business. Growing up though I was wild, a lot of illegal stuff attracted me so I spent a good chuck of my time stealing and selling cars, destroying property, fighting and selling drugs.

>>24240813
No thanks.


>>24241137
Not sure who this is but it's not me, I posted >>24238549

>>24242151
How fast can you cum if you think about the right fetish? Is it much faster than others? What is the thing that turns you on the most?

29/m here
When i was around 7 or 8 or so, babysitters daughter was around or 12 so. Use to get me to fondle and choke her she would touch my cock. Went on for years and escaled to choking her while hitting her ass and breasts with a ruler and slapping her. Never had sex and looking back at it im not surprised i became such a sexual sadist. Wasn't really sure what was going on at the time but i never felt uncomfortable and had fun i guess. She was probably veing abused by her dad or brother. No idea what happened to her.

Not in the mood to greentext, but I regularly had sex with my brother when I was 4-5 and he was 15-16. Parents were always out late, so we would have late nights watching movies and generally goofing off. I once woke up to him sucking my cock and I went with it because I was 4. Never penetrated, but I would suck his cock regularly for a while.

File: original.jpg (55KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

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>be 11
>have older friend age 14
>used to think he was the coolest person ever
>he whould swear and talk about scary movies aka things i thought was "grown-up"
>be over at his house one day
>he shows me some porn on his phone
>asks if i like it
>i say yes
>he asks if i wanna try some of that stuff
>again i said yes, i just whanted to seem like i wasnt lame
>he sucks my penis
>i try to suck his the best i can
>tastes bad so i stop
>he tries to put a finger up my butt
>no lube
>i start crying so he stops
>after sitting around his room awkwardly for awhile i go home
I spend the next months terrified that my mom whould find out, i was afraid she whould be mad at me
I think this is what led to my dysphoria
>tfw my childhood "friend" turned me trans

> Be 9 year old me so 9 years ago
> Lived in a small neighborhood
> Had this weird neighbour who would always invite the neighborhood
Kids over and play with his kids and since he lived like two doors down from me I was there a lot.
> Guy was probably in his mid to late 40s and he lived alone with his kids
> Kids were bout my age there was a boy and girl
> Everytime I'd go over to play the dad just sat there outside watching us and eventually wandered off inside
> didn't really bother me as a I was too distracted playing and what not
> one day I come over and both kids have bruises and when I asked the girl what happened she didn't answer.
> begin our session of playing
> girl gets mad at boy for not sharing his toys and throws a fucking barbie car at his head.
> boy starts to cry and his dad rushes to the toy room (I'll just call it that cause it was one room littered woth their toys)
> dad asks what happened and boy tells him
> the dad gives the girl a menacing look and then me and then says "stay here with anon"
> he then grabs the girl by the arm and drags her like literally fucking drags her into his room and slams the door shut.
> i just sit there in silence with the boy and i start hearing awful screaming and crying from the dads and he was yelling so i start shitting bricks and decide to leave.
> next day go over to play
> neighbour dad tells me his kids have moved back with their mom
> okay..jpg
> walk home and spend day there alone instead
> night comes hear sirens and shit
> police are swarming my street
> pull up to neighbors house
> see ambulance pull up
> don't think much of it
> years later recall what happened
> ask parents about event
> apparently the guy was really abusive and mentally ill
> he murdered both kids called the police and then killed himself

>>24241252
idk femanon lurking that (to my knowledge) was never molested and i'm the same way.

dunno if that helps you feel more normal at all

>>24243016
Male anon, that's just a normal thing
>me 3

>>24242151
Thanks. I noticed the change in id and referencing a different green text. I am cautiously giving them the benefit of doubt

I had some experiences when I was very young that have caused me to be gravitate to more taboo things. I never act on it but it would be great to find a healthy outlet for it.

>Be 8 boy my 12 year cousin comes to stay with us.
>We are alone in the spare room, its homework time
>She is very curious about penis and wants to play with mine
>I don’t mind at all and let her examine it, tug and stroke on it
>She insist that I not watch her. With me laying on my back I have to hold a book up to my face and pretend that I am reading.
>She wets her fingers and strokes me a bit. Feels pretty good
>I try to look but she wont continue unless cover my face with the book. She makes a pretty big deal about this and I feel like she is building up to something. I comply
>Then it happens. I feel her hot wet silky smooth mouth sink down on my cock. The most amazing thing I had ever felt. So warm and soft
>Keeping up the lie I tell her hand feels very wet or something to that effect
>She kept experimenting alternating between her hand and mouth. I can tell when she is using her mouth every time.
>When I orgasm it completely floors me. My cock was throbbing so hard but I was too young to cum yet. It was a good thing no checked on us because I could do nothing for 1 minute afterwards.
>We experimented more and more that year she stayed with us. She started openly sucking me off
>One other time she had me sit under the table while she did her homework and had me lick her pussy for what seemed like hours. About halfway through I could taste her wetness and I wanted to stop but she insisted I keep going. Since she was much older I did as I was told and kept lapping away

I don't feel like experiences traumatized me at all. I am sure they shaped my preferences and I find myself gravitating to more innocent taboo play.

My mom got married when I was 5 or 6 to some gross European guy I had only met a couple of times and he started fucking me on the regular.
I'm autistic and my mother never really talked to me when I was a kid, and my stepfather told me he was allowed to do that stuff. I believed him, so I just never brought it up.

It's happened to me twice nad probably the reason why im such a fuck up / degenerate.

>be 4
>cousin from the out of the country lives with us
>collects toys
>lures me into his room
>gives me a few of his toy
>rapes me
>end up telling my mom
>she tells uncle
>uncle beats the shit out of him
>see him as a teenager
>giving me that look
>blood boils and feel like beating the shit out of him

the 2nd time it happened it was with a girl at 6 and she had me do things to her. DOnt think that fucked me up as much

an older neighbor boy messed with me when I was like 6. he just made me suck his dick at first but after a few times of that he moved on and actually fucked me. that went on for like 3 years till he moved. then when I was 13 igot drunk with a friend and some creepy old guy that was there raped me. that on top of a very abusive father pretty much ruined my childhood. no one knows about any of it really. I told one person I know from on line but if never told anyone else in real life.

>>24243058
>>24243016
Thanks Anons. I actually meant normal for being who had been :P I've been on the internet to know the other answer.

>be me
>5 or 6years old
>at my maternal grandparents house
>grandpa used to beat the fuck out of his kids
>mom included
>brings me in to computer room where he spent most of his time
>used to let me play duke nukem 1 and some other game where you had to sneak around the streets of some apocalyptic city
>think he was going to let me play games
>he has porn open on the computer
>tells me to take my pants off
>"underwear too, anon"
>sit in chair next to him
>he sits down and asks me what I think
>too scared to respond
>feeling in my stomach like crazy butterflies
>somehow know I'm not supposed to be watching this
>he takes out his cock
>starts stroking slowly
>"you try what I'm doing on yourself"
>I have rock hard tiny child dick
>slowly touch myself
>he asks if he can touch it
>don't respond, completely terrified
>he is stroking both of our cocks at the same time
>my eyes darting from the screen to his cock to my cock and back
>after a bit he stands up and cums on my chest and belly and cock
>goes and gets towel and cleans me up
>tells me to get dressed
>turns on duke nukem and I go about my childhood business

This happened two or three more times. He bnever told me not to tell anyone and I didn't. To this day my number one sexual fantasy is to have a circle jerk with 5-10 guys watching porn together. I want them all to finish on me. This is fucking impossible to organize.

I am hopelessly addicted to porn.

>>24245927
To clarify, it was just pictures on the computer. The last time was a VHS tape video porn. I had butterflies so bad during the video session I thought I was going to throw up.

> Be 11 year old boy
> Visiting family in florida that we basically never see
> They have a 14 year old daughter
> We're the only kids
> We go out exploring wilderness while adults do boring adult stuff
> She wears incredibly skimpy clothes
> Distinctly remember confused 11 year old me staring at her barely-concealed ass in jean shorts so short and tight she might as well be wearing nothing
> We talk a lot, get along pretty well
> She steers the conversations towards boys a lot
> She asks if she can see my dick, says she's never seen one before and she's curious
> Show her flaccid penis
> One day it's really hot, we're both sweating like crazy
> She takes off her shirt, nothing underneath
> Instant erection
> She can tell and tells me to show her
> Feel weird, don't want to, "What if someone sees?"
> "No one is going to see us out here look"
> She takes off her shorts and panties
> Dick throbbing, can't really think straight, I get naked too
> She grabs my dick, guides my hand to her pussy
> Not really sure what I'm supposed to do, just know that she was really hot down there and it made my dick even harder
> She tells me to lie back
> Sucks my dick for about a minute, then climbs on top of me
> rubs her pussy on my dick for a few minutes
> I can't think, I know it's wrong but it feels so good
> Slips me inside her and begins grinding
> cum inside her after about a minute of this
> Over the next week we'd do this more and more until by the end we were basically walking a mile from the house and then fucking all day long
> Ate her out, fingered her, got handjobs, blowjobs, fucking , made out a lot
> Then we left
> Still don't really consider myself to have been molested
> See her occasionally at family gatherings and we get along fine
> I'd probably still fuck her again if she made a move

>be me around 17
>summer holidays
>feeling angry, sad and horny
>always had a thing for younger boys
>I lived in the countryside with my grandparents
>when it was dark I took my bike and went for a ride
>I travelled along old train rails
>I see a 13-14 years old boy
>on his phone
>ride towards him
>hey, what are you doing
>he looks at me surprised
>I don't know you, why are you asking
>he doesnt stop
>I follow him on my bike
>i feel like exploding inside so I decide to cut it and go straight to the point
>listen, do you have a girlfriend?
>says no
>so you never received a blowjob. do you know what a blowjob is?
>says yes
>you're cute, you'll easily find a girlfriend
>he looks at me confused
>tells me he needs to go
>i let him go
>i say bye
>he just turns his head around and looks at me quickly
>a few days later I go to the same place again
>hang around there waiting for the him
>he shows up earlier than the other day
>i smile and shout hey
>he looks kinda scared and pissed
>I approach him
>do you want a cig?
>after some seconds of silence he says yes
>let's go over there so no one can see us
>we go under an old railway bridge
>i give him a cigarette and light it up
>then I light up mine
>drank water at home
>my plan was to piss near him
>I need to piss
>i don't hide myself, just turn right a little bit
>i can see he glances at my penis
>do you jerk off sometimes?
>says yes nonchalantly but you could hear excitement
>me too. I haven't jerked since a while. do you mind if I do it now? it's normal for boys to do these things
>yeah no problem
>I start jerking off
>you know, if you want to jerk off too, you can
>he looks at me
>puts the cigarette on the ground and undoes his pants
>starts to jerk off
>we both came
this continued for a while. after some time we started to exchange blowjobs. we never fucked.
we stopped when school started. I don't know if this counts as rape, I never touched him against his will

>>24242261
If it is something that hits one of my kinks I can get off in a min or so. I don't just have one single thing that is the be all end all of turn ons, it also really depends on my mood.

>>24243161
My experiences have traumatized me but I suppose it's because it was forced over years via someone who was supposed to be my father. He would be prone to punishing me if I didn't behave and do as he said, I was essentially his slave. Its warped my sense of self and trust a little but now that I am older I feel more well adjusted.

this is sick

>>24235953
>this is sick
You are surfing 4chan.

>>24246866

I understand completely. I felt a little bad sharing my story because I know it doesn't compare to what you went though. With your experience I feel a angry at what your father did but also guilty because part of it is really hot

>>24235984
How is he the fucking sick one for getting raped? Like a are you serious right now? What he's discribing is still rape even if he enjoyed it and came.