Suicidal thread. > Who here suicidal? It's more than

>>23940412
I been suicidal for being a virgin, I even stopped looking at porn to take my mind off the idea people are actively having physical contact with each other.

It just makes me feel pathetic. I have everything else in my life taken care of but this just haunts me 24/7.

I have a great job, I'm in shape, and I do the best I can for my face, and clothes.

Good hygiene, but apparently my social skills are worse than 99.99% of the people on this planet when it comes to romance.

I can't keep friends because I get insecure about how I'm a virgin, and it just haunts every aspect of my life. I show up to work late, or miss entire days because I just feel miserable.

I been going like this for years, and I'm sick of it. Therapy & medication has not helped me.

Having hobbies and other things don't help.
I'm suicidal as I feel exhausted from this constant insecurity.

I've been suicidal or at least close to it, and I've talked to a fair amount of other people who where too. I have no idea how many of them are still alive, and that always sticks in the back of my mind as a reminder that I belong to a group of people who are almost universally prone to suicide.

shit sucks.

>>23940426
:( a lot of people, if not most, don't care if you're a virgin or not. Have you tried finding a SO?

I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 17 and had to have bones removed.
Four years later my prosthetic bones break and shatter my femur.
Have to have two surgeries.
Now I'm 20 years closer to a complete amputation and I can't do anything for myself.
I feel like a burden on everyone around me, and most of the time I'm just thinking "Wow everyone's lives easier would be so much easier if I wasn't around."

>>23940521
I dont' look for a "SO"
But a few years ago I did fall in love, and got rejected.
It's the most painful feeling you can experience in life.

I don't care if other people care if I'm a virgin or not.
I want to lose it for myself.
I'm willing to be someones "boyfriend" if it meant I'd lose my virginity.
But I don't actually need a relationship in my life, it won't make me happy.
Losing my virginity is a stigma to myself, and it's not about how other people view me, but how I view myself. I let myself down for not being able to achieve something that 15 year olds do now and days.

And it makes me feel disgusting that I have to put more effort than other people.
To other people they just naturally get laid, they go out, talk to people and they end up having sex.
Meanwhile I have to actively pursue it, and spend more effort & time than them.

It's sad really, I had 1 woman who told me she's interested in me, but we're not allowed to have intimacy till marriage.
The true problem was she had sex with at least 50 guys. and had a FWB at the time.
I felt like I was an undesirable cuck.

All I want is a woman who wants to have sex with me.

>>23940539
all your limbs amputated?
Could try becoming a voice actor, that won't change how you feel maybe but you could make money.

>>23940557
I had some poor luck with it, I am paying for my moms mortgage and my own rent right now, and the 99% of escorts out there don't take black guys.

So I'll need to spend at least $500 for half a hour, but I'm trying to save money. It sucks, but I might have to do it just to clear my conscience.

I'll probably still be suicidal at the fact that I'm more incompetent than a homeless person.

You people make me sick, "I'm a virgin I wanna kill myself". How sad, thats why you wanna kill yourself? Anyone can get laid, retards get laid. People with fucking down syndrome even get laid. How fucking sad are you? Talking about your issues on the internet is gonna make things better? I'm a virgin by choice and thats the last reason I would ever want to kill myself.

>>23940549
I apologize for misunderstanding. :( I thought you were feeling social pressure or something like that. But now I understand your point. You're not incompetent, maybe it's just the circumstances, maybe the girls around your place aren't just for you..? Unfortunately, life is like that. Some people have it easier than others.

I am so sorry I can't offer any comforting words. Just hang in there man. You'll lose it someday, just keep trying. Keep improving your social skills, physical fitness (although you mentioned you're already fit), your confidence and appeal.

>>23940596
Uh you just explained why people would be suicidal over it retard.

> people with down syndrome even get laid
Yet I don't.
Your post is all the explanation that's needed as to why someone would be suicidal over being a virgin.

I'm at LEAST average looking and have a good job and everything and I can't get laid even though homeless people can.

>>23940606
I been trying to pretend that I could live life without sex, but I went so many years. Burnt through so many therapists and I still feel bad.

I don't want to live a life of feeling bad, it's better to end myself than just suffer.

>>23940566
Naw, just the leg.

>>23940808
But a lot of people have a normal life despite being amputees, wouldn't you be able to have a prosthetic leg?

>>23940633
Well,if you don't want a relationship,but you feel shame for still being a virgin,why don't you hire an escort?

yeah, everything's been bad for awhile now. I used to turn to drugs for the temporary loss of identity but it's not working anymore so i quit

Having a pet was the best way i've found to hold on. If i die so would they and i seem to value other creature's lives (innocent lives?) very highly.

My cat died anyway though. She was an outside/indoor cat and i didn't want to rob her of her animal nature. She was happy till the end i think. Not sad for her, just me.

I have been recently. It's not a normal thing for me. I would really like to have someone to talk to about it. I have insurance, but I think mental health care is expensive regardless.

>>23941441
I'm trying right now, a lot reject black guys because they don't feel safe around them. AND I MEAN A LOT

>>23940347
I've never felt suicidal, but sometimes I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up, t b h.
My mind is currently muddled and scrambled to the point that I can't think straight nor express myself fluently (I may have some sort of cognitive dysfunction, I don't know) I usually behave awkwardly among people, and tend to act like a literal retard under pressure. For that reason, society as a whole makes me terribly anxious. The prospect of having a formal job in my field of study or in other specialties of mine makes me physically ill, not because I'm lazy, but because I don't feel competent or qualified to do anything right. I try to think reasonably, but that anxiety is eating me up from the inside and crippling me in my daily life, and I don't think I can last much longer.

>>23940539
Holy shit, man, I hope you can pull through.

>>23940430
what group

I've been seriously considering eating a bullet as an option. Going through just a crazy divorce and my soon to be exact wife is absolutly crazy, manipulative, and controlling. I've been seeing a therapist quite often and have ever made great progress personally but my wife (refer to her as that because technically she still is) manipulates every situation to make me the bad guy.

She threatens to call the police if I come over. Then tells all her friends and family that I'm abandoning her and the kids. She served me with the divorce papers laying out she has 100% of the kids and sole use of the house and I have to leave. Then she goes absolutly crazy when I sign a lease for an apartment. I've seen the emails she has sent to friends about our arguments and how she has handled them right, when in reality she has cussed me out in front of the kids, layer out all my shortcomings in front of the kids, hit me, thrown stuff at me, and calls me every name in the book. None of which she mentions to her friends and family.

She has even told me that the only way she'd be happy is if I doubt led my income, lost 50 lbs, and gained another 2 inches in my pants (I cleaned that statement up from what she said).

I keep trying to do the right thing and have turned from my old habits but she keeps telling everyone that I havent. People have ever said don't kill yourself because of the kids and your family, they won't be better off. Only thing is she tells the kids I don't live them and will rarely let me talk to or see them, she won't miss me I know that, and I have very little close family on my side. To top it off, my life insurance is worth way more than what I provide financially. I've done the math, even used an extremely conservative rate of return if the payout was invested. They'd have plenty to live on AND the kids would still have money for college.

The only thing stopping me is the belief I'd screw it up like everything else and leave myself a vegetable.

>>23941734
Kids aren't so dumb, no matter what you do they'll still prefer to have a father than the money from his life insurance. I don't know how old they are, but if she doesn't let you see them, time will come when they will make their own decisions. Let some time pass and see if the situation improves or at least the wife calms down.

I'm 18 and mom is 64 and dad is 75
Oldest sister is schizophrenic (although she finally no more crises or hallucinates much, now she is just a potato under antipsychotics)
Oldest brother is a heavy drug addict, and for years he stole lots of shit from the house and did confusions almost every day and is an annoying dickhead, he is bigger than everyone in the house and bosses everybody
Dad doesnt work anymore and went nuts from oldest brother's troubles and tells me all the time to not leave the house, is freak about me leaving the house and thinks im out of the streets fucking whores and using drugs
Mom is crazy stressed old housewife and now talks about dad like shit and someone to mock and laugh at
I started to lock myself in my room, and after some weeks i started to freakout with the feeling of confinement, and then after some other months my body kinda accepted it and doesnt care anymore, and im having depression getting worse each day

>>23940347
Fiance left me. Baby mom's a drug addict and hasn't seen my son in over 10 years. I quit my job and moved away because I left my fiance with the house and a card for my bank and credit cards also just couldn't be in that area anymore.

I havn't cut in years and quit drinking years ago but I so want to hero hid damn being an adult sucks

>>23940539
I hear you I to have cancer well I had the cancer and some organs cut out and my stupid jeans will make it comes back somewhere else. But untill then I'm good have another surgery in 2 months and 2 day surgeries next week to check how I'm doing.

Every six months I have two day surgeries on different days forever.

Well as long as I'm alive nothings forever.
My fiance proved that.

>>23940539
I to thought that but everyone assured me I wasn't. Although I'm healthy now and she is gone some people can't handle the stress I guess of knowing I will probably get it again but I should be dead allready ain't no bitch ass cancer gonna kill me I fought off one kind allready anywhere else I get it I will fight it to I'm gonna have it soon in my stomach and throat possibly that's one of the things the day surgeries are to check on.

But my family assures me.its not.too much and so do my few friends I still talk to when you have kids and a family you stop talking to a lot of them

>>23940426
how old are you tho

it's usually teenagers complaining and I'm just like "ok"

but man people who apparently only judge success in life by being a virgin or not are sad

>>23940808
It's just a leg at least buddy I lost my rectum in one surgery colon in another surgery and have had so many damn day surgeries cutting off damaged cells and polyps. They are discussing removing my stomache and I have to get brain and lung scans to.look there.

Also I have been family history of back disorders and will most likely become double disables when that kiks in both my uncles are paraplegic now.

>>23941734
Bro I fucking know how you feel omg once I got healthy mine was the worst I don't even know who she is now.

She sounds very spiteful bro.

Yeah mines still making my life hell even tho I moved across the country someone has too much time.

We will both heal and find someone else I'm not quite ready to turn gay yet but I'll let you know if I do :) lmfao.

Just joking it's my fault baby mom's and ex literally have the same mental disorders.

Heroing because you're all faggots

>>23940426
>>23940549
>other people they just naturally get laid
Kek, my man nobody does this. And you're going to be so fucking disappointed when you finally get laid because you've fixated on it so much.

>>23940539
>>23940539
>one leg
Are you serious nigger? There are quadruple amputees who manage by themselves.

>>23941661
>My mind is currently muddled and scrambled to the point that I can't think straight nor express myself fluently
I used to have this pretty much every day senpai, what's your diet like?

>>23941734
Speaking as someone with divorced parents: your kids will love you based on how you treat them, not what she says. Still though, you should try for custody if you aren't because if all you say is true then they're going to have a horrible time living with her, and all the money in the world can't fix shitty or absent parents.

>>23941878
Literally just move out.
inb4 no money

Bumpity bump

>>23940347

>be 20
>have only a few distant friends
>get made fun of by adults because I'm socially awkward
>have been mistaken for being retarded multiple times
>feel empty inside, detached from society
>feel more and more empty each year
>have terrible anxiety

Really the main thing holding me back from suicide right now are my parents. I don't want to put that burden on them after they spent 18 years raising me.

I still feel strong urges to commit suicide though. In the middle of the night when my anxiety is bad its the worst.

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I'm 18. I just want to fucking die. I don't know what it is but it holds me back from enjoying anything. I want to go out and act normal but every time I do I want to be alone in my room. I see no reason to exist and I want to end it all. I think the only reason I haven't yet is because I think I'm so unlucky I would somehow survive and live with the pain of everybody knowing, or perhaps I have faint hope for the future, who fucking knows. I've never felt love and I hate most people I meet although I know they just have flaws like me or anyone else. I'll maybe reply to some of you later, sorry for just sharing myself but I'm a child of greed.

>>23942386
You're young so definitely still hope. Try to just chill out and not put too much pressure on yourself. Do some drugs and don't worry about the consequences. Just my two cents.

>>23942414
Do drugs no one ever heroes in drugs.

Leave this thread wow just go please. Advising people to hurt themselves like a dick.

>>23940347
I have had the urge to do it, but then again, I'm too stubborn to quit life, I want to give it my all, but the sentiment still lingers, it's annoying as fuck.

yeah.
>23, just graduated uni

wanted to kms since about 18 or 19 for various reasons and it's getting worse again now that i'm done with school and don't know what to do with my life.
there are lots of little reasons, of course, but here's some of my most recent situation, tfw no gf aside:

for now i'm NEET at my parents' place until I find a new place to live in "my" city (uni town), then I can get back to my restaurant job (i've been there a while so they should let me back with no problem-- i explained that I have to swap cities for a little bit and need time off). no friends in this city, and no rock climbing scene, which was one of the things keeping my mind in a decent place in my uni town. fuck, i was even finally getting sex over there.

i'm broke a f and drive a shitty car which is a big stress factor. i feel like any day it will die for good and I'll have to permanently move in with my parents until I can afford a new car.
i mostly lack motivation for anything / doing things with my life.

>>23942154
>I used to have this pretty much every day senpai, what's your diet like?
I eat pretty much everything except most processed foods. I also try to avoid too much sugar and starch.
How did you manage to recover?

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Tried to hang myself 10 years ago. I was 13. Used the ceiling fan. It broke. Most embarrassing moment of my life. Had to attempt to fix that before parentals got home and saw my botched suicide attempt. Haven't felt suicidal since.

>>23943600
wrong thread m8

When I was 13 I fell out of a tree and broke my wrist, don't know what happened but a nerve got pinched and I can't clench my fist without feeling incredibly intense pain. Like, my whole arm seizes up, it's paralyzing. When I was 15 I tried to cut my hand off, I lost a lot of blood and passed out.

Woke up in hospital and the doctor told me even if we cut my hand off the pain will still be there, like a phantom pain or something.

Sometimes when I think I'll be stuck with this forever I think of killing myself, I've tried 5 times, genuinely, survived all 5. Then I started reading about quantum immortality. I'm starting to think it's true, that no one ever dies. Since then I've been obsessed with killing myself, all I ever want to do is just drive my car into a tree at full speed, or jump off bridges, do things that will kill me, but won't.

I'm obsessed with the idea of whether I can die or not.

moved here to be with my ex. She cheated on me about a year ago. When I caught her she thought she could weasel out of it by claiming the guy raped her. I sent her the chat logs I pulled from her fb and never talked to her again.

Since that point my life has been utter shit. I have no friends and haven't even moved on and fucked another girl cause nobody wants me. The only real thing I've done in the past year is browse /fit/ and lift autistically. I've put on 30lbs of muscle since I started but nobody cares cause you're Arnold or nothing. Whenever I try to make friends people can just tell that I'm socially broken and pull away. I keep trying to tell myself that I'll have someone in my life eventually and that I just have to keep going but that just seems like a lie now.

I live in an 8 story apartment building and I go up to the roof and think about jumping a few times a week.

>>23943667
This. Once you survive it kind of becomes a joke. Can't tell you how mNy cars I've totaled. Or just near death rushes. Hell don't want me yet.