ITT post something deeply personal about yourself. We all have

At the end of the day, I might be plain and boring.

>>23706835
What makes you feel like that?

everyone on this board has an ego problem, in either direction of the spectrum.

>>23706847
I have no idea, but I do feel that way.

>>23706865
It's this board, man. We all get a veil here. Real life sucks. We all can be cooler here.

>>23706890
I'm sure you actually lead a pretty interesting life too right? I bet you're not a loser or anything.

I'm gloomy and anxious around people and don't know how to talk to people anymore. I used to be better when I was younger and I don't know what happened to me and I don't know if I can fix it.

>>23706895
I wish I knew, but most would say that ;)

I've been suffering waves of depression since I was 16, and I've stopped looking for a girlfriend because I don't want to put another human being through dealing with me.

I'm depressed and want to drop out of school. I can't remember to take my medications, so my grades are slipping. I still live at home with my parents because I'm pathetic and can't manage my money well

I have an eating disorder that has basically ruined my life. going out in public causes me crippling anxiety because i don't want people to look at me and think i'm fat. i put things off because i think to myself, "I need to be skinnier before i can do that." sucks

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Guy,21.
First year of college a third time.
Crippling depression going back and forth in my head. Try to look forward.
Can barerly the basics of math. And some % calculations. Now that i've kept the math practicing away this entire winter i'm now starting to panic.
I'm usually confident on other areas of my day to day life, Its Just my fear of math keeping me from proceeding in life. I feel helpless. Nobody to support me. No one to ask for help.

I am a stupid, awkward weirdo and I have everything I could want. I think maybe I just got lucky with how some things in my life turned out and now I'm terrified of losing them. I worry that my boss will discover that I'm not as good as she thinks and fire me from my perfect job, that my SO will finally see that he's way more attractive than me and out of my league and decide to leave. Ugh.

>>23706777
Due to my drug use I believe I'm developing some kind of mental disorder.
Although I hate to self diagnose; my actions and the actions of which others have informed me of doing are clearly abnormal.

My deepest fearing is losing myself and although I know I must in order to grow and that the self is merely an illusion I still cling to it out of fear.

I feel as if I'm losing myself to something I do not know. I do things and I don't know why I do them. I see thing's that are not there and hear voices which are clearly some figment of my overactive imagination.

When I eased off I felt complete yet sad and miserable. When I'm high I'm happy, filled with false joy yet any joy is a much valued substitute for this feeling of emptiness.

My personality of which I speak and write differs from the time and the day and I do not know which is me and which is other. The other which is merely a side effect of my abuse.

TL;DR I'm lost and I'm so alone. I fear myself.
The life of which I have paved seems distorted and broken and I cannot fix it.

I just want someone to help me.

I just want someone.

>>23707062
I'm in the exact same boat.
My last relationship was over 2 years ago, but in the three years we were together I put him through a suicide attempt, anxiety attacks, crazy cheating accusations, periods where I would just block him on everything and avoid him, all because depression made me think that the relationship could not be legitimate because I wasn't good enough. He cried when I finally broke it off insisting he understood that it wasn't me during those crazy periods, but I couldn't do it to him anymore. I don't want to do that psycho shit to anyone again.

I shaved my pubes for the first time a few days ago, not because I was going to have sex, but just because it made me feel more confident about my dick pics.
Also the closest I've ever gotten to sex was my last (and only) girlfriend who gave me a bj a few times on the bus on the way to school.

I'm a complete loser. I used to be so confident a few years ago, but I've slowly realized that I'm nothing special compared to everyone else. Kind of sucks being this burnt out on life and only being 20.

I think I'm pretty good looking, or at least that's what people tell me, but who wants to be in a relationship with a loser, even if they are attractive?

I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Part of me just wants to die and forget about all of this. Life is getting worse for me, I don't see anyway to turn it around at this point. Fingers crossed I die in a car crash.

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I'm a femanon who cannot orgasm. I've been trying for years. Masturbation sucks, my clit is too sensitive and penetration feels awful and uncomfortable to down right painful.
I've tried everything, every kind of lube, every kind of toy, the only thing I haven't done is sex with a real live human being. And I'm terrified to do so because this is literally all I have left, the only delusion I have that I can make this work, that I can live a normal life.
I still have a sex drive though so its like torture wanting a release but never being able to get there. Just when I think I'm finally going to make it, everything abruptly stops. Dead. Cold turkey. Not a damn sensation down there.
Masturbating is like pic related.
I know I will likely never find a decent guy who's ok with not hitting it. And while I'm ok with just taking it for the team and suffering though it so he can get off, I know it'll bother most guys that this is the case, and that they can't get me off. So I'll probably die alone.
I was molested as a young kid so I think that ruined sex for me forever.

I live for the (You)'s, both offline and online.

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I'm 20. On the surface, I have my shit together. I have a 4.0 in college right now, I don't have too many friends but I do okay, I'm making progress in my career and I'm pretty creatively shining.

I have crippling depression and anxiety. I'm absolutely terrified of everything and everyone, and it feels like the world is closing in every time I wake up in the morning. I get by with my anti-depressants and a horrible flurry of whatever drugs I can get to make me numb for a while.

Mostly alcohol, but also opiates, nicotine, deliriants, etc. I would do anything and everything if I had the connections.

The only reason I'm not a full-blown alcoholic is because I don't have the money. I see myself dying of drug related heart issues or just giving up before I'm 40.

I feel like the universe wants me dead, and I think it's funny that I'm still alive, so I'll keep truckin' for as long as I can

>>23708061
try touching around the clit or over the hood, over some kind of barrier
it's really not the be all end all and the attitude you have is likely contributing to you being unable to O
if you meet someone decent they will be understanding of your problem
your molestation could have something to do with it so consider therapy? idk
best of luck

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Well I'm stupid, really skinny, lack self motivation, determination, and have no confidence in anything. Lived in Oki during high school and dropped out and had the funnest time of my life being an Oki bum with my best friends. 21, now in the states all my Oki friends moved on in life and barely Talk to me and feel like high school was my peak. No one even says happy birthday to me anymore not even my closest of friends. I'm just forgotten. Bums me out alot, but ay it's what I deserve for not having any real goals or motivation

My dad has stage 4 cancer, I plan on killing myself if he dies. I don't want to be alive if my daddy is dead.

>>23708902
you need to stay alive, he spent his life making sacrifices so that you can live. things will be hard, but your dad will want you to stay alive to live on after him.

>>23708061
i was in the same boat, my body physically reacted and i got horny, but i was molested and also suffered from extreme self esteem issues, so any time i'd start getting horny it's like there's a mental road block. i couldn't imagine myself when i fantasized in my head because i didn't feel like i'd ever deserve it.

just know that this doesn't mean there is anything wrong with your body, but that you may have a few things you need to work through before you can orgasm right. have you ever gone through therapy? i did so myself and i'm so fucking glad i did.

>>23708061
Have you tried ass stuff

>>23708061
Tried anal?

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I haven't had sex in 2 years. It's been 2 years since I have kissed a girl even. I have taken to asking myself what went wrong and questioning myself over everything. I'm not horribly ugly and I'm not a shitty person either. I feel so alone and unwanted and it fucking kills. I don't want to be here while everyone is finding people and I'm just stuck. Every girl either wants me as a friend or is already taken or wants someone else.

I feel as if I will never find that person that will look over at me in the middle of the night and think, "Wow I'm glad I'm with that guy." I don't know if I can handle it any more. It is getting to point where I am about to try suicide again and I don't really want to. Being this alone is really hurting my confidence and my mental health.

>>23706777
I'm in a 'poly' relationship just for a specific partner. Honestly I'm enjoying them favor me over their original monogamous partner.

I truly hate having sex.

>>23709234
It'll be three years for me next month, and I feel exactly the same way, aside from one chick I made out with in a truth or dare kinda thing while we were both totally fucked up.

Every time I think I've met a girl I could really date, she turns out to have a BF. Dating sites don't go anywhere, even when girls "like" me first I don't get replies. I just don't see what I have to offer that other guys who are competing with me don't. I've been in situations where I probably could have gotten laid and I back off because I just can't imagine that these girls are really into me.

I'm not really on the verge of suicide, but goddamn it's hard to see how I'm going to keep up like this. Turning myself into somebody who has enough advantages on paper to beat the other guys out is literally years away, and even then there's no guarantee anything will change.

Every romantic/sexual encounter i've had have turned out to be huge fucking disappointments and/or regrets. It's really getting tiring.

Had a one night with a guy who turned out to be annoying, self centered, clingy and a bit creepy.

Got hit on by someone who just wanted someone to distract her from her breakup for a day or two.

Slept with a girl in which it turns out she was just a slut and I was the last one left, apparently big drama surrounded her and I unintentionally was involved.

Someone posts on the college group to find who i was because they saw me on the bus and found me really attractive or something, guy is one of the cringiest people I've ever had an interaction with.

Like goddamn why is it so hard to find someone reasonable.

>>23709273
Yep every time.

Get a like on Tinder? They turn out to be boring or just not interesting. Meet someone on another dating site? Same thing.

I honestly know what you mean. I almost got laid and I had to stop because I couldn't believe I was about to get some. What did I have that she liked? Why was she doing this? I always think there is someone better and it's just my shitty confidence. That's all it is. Just shitty confidence.

To be honest, I've just started getting more into my hobbies and trying to find something that makes me happy. That's helped a lot, especially since my hobby is a social thing.

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>mfw buckle up because this is a long list of deep shit I wanna tell at least one person and get some kind of a reaction

I have never had sex without getting something out of it, either money or living arrangements

once while on the way to a married customers house to do the dirty deeds his wife wouldn't let him do, I realized I value myself on how much money people are willing to pay to get to do anything they want to me, this of course means I feel pretty good about myself, but also I just will not have any casual sex unless I get paid for it or I an in love with the person and they are supporting me

I would do near on anything for money

I have absolutely no goals or dreams or ambitions

all I want is a comfy life as somebodies housewife where I don't have to have a job and have no worries besides chores and pleasing my provider

I have never once lost myself in sex, it always feels amazing and I love it but as soon as a guy starts pounding away at me I just get this weird perspective like they are letting go and I can't let go so I try to focus on the feeling or just look around the room after making sure their eyes are closed

I honestly don't think I will grow old and grey because the way I earn money through sex cannot support me forever and if I don't find a stable lover who can support me and keep me forever I might just die in a gutter somewhere because I am entirely dependent on others to remind me how the real world works

I guess I have more but really the rest is just stuff like how I always forget what day it is and I have a very loose grip on time

Quit my job, my life is a waste, and I just want to die.

>>23709659

Why don't you just....like...get a fucking job?

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I'm a 28 year old virgin and I'm in love with a man who's younger than me, has seen his fair share of action and is just the complete opposite of me when it comes to confidence and sexuality. Every time he tries to get flirty, I shut down and turn into a teenage girl hiding my face and getting completely flustered. It's gosh darn embarrassing, to say the least, and I have no idea how people can do this so easily.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up a virgin for life if this keeps going.

I live in a constant state of fear and haven't been able to show it or fully express it because I destroyed my emotional range with prescription medication.
My family knows I used to live with crippling anxiety, but they think it's gone because there haven't been any episodes. There haven't been any episodes because I don't know how to express my emotions. Its like forgetting how to move your arms when you aren't physically crippled.
I also haven't been able to cry for nearly 4 years and it's an overwhelming pressure building in my head. At night when tinnitus keeps me awake, the constant pulsing in my ears makes it worse and I dream of gunshots and railway spikes pounding into my skull.