hey guys. femanon. just wanna chat. majorly depressed. what's

>>23684666
Just got home from the gym and playing video games while trying not to even think about watching porn because my heart is jackhammering like crazy right now

What are you up to, OP?

>>23684666
>just wants to talk
>mentions gender
wew lad

I'm gonna have to hit the road at 4am for a 4 hour drive to my hotel... Been traveling.

420 blaze it and feel better

Been wasting a lot of time on these boards only to realise that everywhere you go you just see guys posting their dicks looking for girls to please them. Doesn't loom hopeful for mankind; doing my best to seek legit conversation and be a decent person

>>23684666
kik?

>>23684680
Yes, yes, how dare anyone suggest they are female unless they want to fuck. Shocking.

>>23684666
I'm starting a new job in a week and trying not to freak. Also, bummed about Prince.

My night fucking sucks too. All I've done is eat and cry because all my friends are leaving in two weeks and I might be gay for one is them

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Hey bae I'm not feeling great either. I mean not the worst but eh alright I guess. Tried to play a game but couldn't focus, back on here wasting time. What's on your mind?

>>23684803
>>23684680
if op is who I think it is she's gay

>>23684678
ahhahahahaahahahahah I get that too

>>23684702
Where you heading to?

>>23684718
I know, this place is only good for chat threads like this. You can't find other people to talk to on kik/skype/whatever because all the guys only want girls and all the girls have 50 messages adn don't even see you.

>>23684666
Satan trips OP disappeared into her depression. Whatevs. General depression thread, is a go.

Also, sorry OP, it never gets better if you're wired wrong. But then again, most people who give you advice are generally wrong, myself included.

>>23684666
I think your a guy.
Just wanted attention

>>23684666
Send me a message on skype
My skype is cornstorch

OP has a damn funny ID!

I just went to a party.
Like it's been my dream to have a chance to try to be social and fun.


I hated it.

I miss being happy.

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>>23684666
>just wanna chat
>1 post by this ID
This bread needs some sage.

>>23684666
checkem

>>23684885
>it never gets better if you're wired wrong

No shit. It is difficult to live with.

>>23684861
Thanks for your input. It does not seem to change what I said, though.

>>23685050
Yeah. It was a bit of a shock when Robin Williams killed himself. Like, if someone that successful, at that age, still ends up killing himself... how fucked are the rest of us?

>>23685071
I have dysthymia. Shit fucking sucks. I'm never going to be "better," it's always a continuum of how depressed I am.

But, there are always pleasing things that help keep me clawing my way onward. It isn't easy, but there is enough to make it worth it.

>>23685097
Good on you then, Op. (I'm assuming you're OP, but who knows.) Whatever works for you, grab on to it. What keeps you going?

>>23684976
This!! I don't know what I'm even looking for anymore.

>>23685105
I am not OP.

I try and find things - even very small things - day to day, that are amusing, that I would miss.

I'm single, I can't imagine dating like this, but I have family. And friends. I love them. I've lost enough people to death that I can't possibly subject the people I love to the suffering my suicide would cause.

Even when I can't really feel or understand how upset the people I love would be if I killed myself, I know it intellectually.

And together, that is enough. Plus, I am not one to give up in a fight. Even if the fight is with myself. I'm just that stubborn.

>>23685156
Definitely good on you, non-OP.

Just, try to find more things. Because the day could easily come, when you think to yourself, "hey, they'll get over it." That could be a very sobering day.

But like I originally said, don't necessarily listen to me, or anyone else, who tells you "this is the way things are" or "the trick is" or "see, what you really need to realize is". Really, it's whatever works for you. Depression is a fucked up thing that no one really understands, otherwise it would be fixed. You gotta make it work for you.

Or don't. Who knows.

>>23684666
None better than you. What's on your mind?

>>23685196
OP's dead, yo. Slit her wrists then blew her brains out. Took some pills after that was done, too.

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>>23685202
Hardy har har. Glad to hear she's enjoying the view from the top of the weight machine.

>>23685156

You don't have to date to fuck yo. Sounds like you just need to get laid

>>23685214
Genital contact will surely cure brain chemistry.

One of my best friends was visiting the city I currently live in, went to show him around, dive a few bars, etc.

Crossed a high traffic street as dumbly as I always do, friend followed me, got caught by a motorcycle.
Just a few scratches for him and the driver, but quite a bit of damage to the motorcycle (and the guy is somewhat poor, uses it to work and had no insurance).

Feeling damn bad about it cause it was pretty much all my fault.

>>23685224
I mean, yeah, you shouldn't be crossing streets without looking both ways. But there's no city in America (and I'm making the assumption you live in America) that that's not true, so, your friend is just as much at fault as you.

Sucks for the guy on the motorcycle, but that's the risk you take when you drive without insurance. I've been there, so I know you gotta do what you gotta do to get to work sometimes, but there's always the option of taking a bicycle...

>>23685219

Actually it does smart ass

>what are endorphins

The fuck kind of autist says shit like 'genital contact'

>>23685190
It's some shit. I've had enough rounds of major depression, on top of my day-to-day level, to be pretty cynical about it.

BUT, for many people who are depressed, medicine and therapy make a huge improvement. And people should definitely try that out, you could feel so much better.

My advice is to try and tell your brain to shut the fuck up. It's biased and can't really help but fixate. Try and think about things you like. Living with an unreliable narrator in your head is shitty, but you can do it.

>>23685235
A sarcastic one with more than a fourth grade vocabularly.

Drugs and sex are temporary solutions that, when used in place of professional therapy or soul searching, turn into addictions.

>>23685235
The kind of "autist" who is being a smartass. As opposed to the kind of shithead who says things like "autist".

Anyways, yeah, it temporarily gives you a flood of endorphins, among other things. Those go away. Do you propose that person gets laid constantly, 24/7?

>>23685244
Aye, thank you.

>>23685240
>medicine and therapy make a huge improvement

Therapy helped a bit, but medicine turned me into a maniac. My last doctor diagnosed me with bi-polar disorder based in part on my reaction to anti-depressants.

>>23685214
That's true. And it might be helpful, endorphins and shit.

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>>23685245
>Do you propose that person gets laid constantly, 24/7?

>>23685240
Aye, that definitely works for some people. Those people should definitely keep at it. I think the best thing to do is to find whatever works for you, and just throw away whatever doesn't. Everyone and their mother is going to tell you this and tell you that, but your depression is different than everyone else's, so maybe your cure is, too.

And, sometimes there is no real cure. Shit sucks. Can't fix a missing limb. Same idea. But I guess you really never know if you're one of the uncurable, of if you just haven't found your cure.

>>23685253
A.B.C.
Always Be Caging.
Learn it. Live it. Love it.

>>23685244
>>23685245

Saying shit like 'genital contact' even sarcastically is cringey af

Yes, I am saying this bitch should get laid all the time. Find a dude who is into BDSM and she'd be all set. Now grow a pair and fuck off with your faggoty hug box you worthless fags

>>23685264
>your faggoty hug box
>bro code for emotional stability/self-respect/self-worth

I'm leaving and taking my faggoty hug box with me. You'll have to find your own.

>>23685264
Implying saying things like "your faggoty hug box you worthless fags" isn't cringey as fuck, considering it shows the typical "someone is disagreeing with me, time to go into rage mode" mentality. But I digress.

Regardless, you seem to think that all people crave sex and don't care about relationships at all. Also, this person didn't even claim to be into BDSM, but you projected that upon them. Good job. You got it all figured out.

>>23685271
Ah, there goes the thread. I'm not gonna stay to argue with someone.

>>23685271

Self worth is earned through achievement and accomplishment. Despite what you think, having a billion points on your xbox is not a foundation for self worth

Take the rest of your squad and jump off a cliff. Not worth saving

>>23685234
Yeah, thanks. But I do that all the time and almost got run over in the same street about 3 times this month and I'm always "maybe I should start paying more attention" but then I don't really care because there's no point. Then today someone followed me and shit happened and when shit happens to other people I care.

>but there's always the option of taking a bicycle
he doesn't use it to get to work, but to work (he works with delivery)

I offered to pay for the motorcycle cause felt it was my fault. Then the guy at some point got all aggressive and was a huge moron and said is coming after me if I dont pay, then my friend called the police and whatnot.
So I'm between "my fault, guy needs it to work and I can pay, no big deal he just lost his nerve a bit" and "fuck this huge moron, get insurance next time".

And I know it's not a huge thing and I shouldn't feel that bad about it but I can't help.

>>23685248
It can be really shitty, trying to find a med that works. I think it is worth trying, though.

I'm one of the unlucky fuckers meds don't seem to help much. I wish there was more stuff available on how to get through life when you can barely drag yourself out of bed. Most seems aimed at realizing you are depressed, which is usually quite clear to me.

>>23685283
We're paratroopers. Jumping from high places is what we do.

>>23685307
I've been through most depression medications. Acupuncture has helped some.

This coalition of practitioners is affordable: https://www.pocacoop.com/

>>23685288
I dunno, there's only so much shit you can do. When in doubt, just do whatever the law says. It's (usually) set up the correct way on purpose.

>>23685307
Ugh that sucks. There's a completely new type of medication in the works, that affects brain chemistry in a different way than standard SSRI's and SNRI's. But who knows what the timeline is, and I really don't have much more information on it. There's always all the other forms of therapy. Meditation, diet, exercise, cognitive behavioral therapy, etc.

Part of the problem is motivation, of course. It's like an alcoholic being told they have to go to AA. And even believing they have to go. But never actually embracing the program.

>>23685323
Same place - I've tried most meds and they are minimally effective. I need more lifestyle aimed ideas.

In the meantime, I focus on not killing myself. Sounds like a low bar, but it does require exertion.

It sucks, but I can get through life being really fucking depressed. And find things I enjoy, sometimes.

>>23685338
I'm in the same place. It's difficult. Sometimes acknowledging I'm depressed and not stigmatizing the condition helps me cope.

Majorly depressed as well. Lonely in my thoughts and dying with otherworldly impossible ambitions, suffocating myself to relieve myself. Oh and nobody loves me. Oh and and, everyone that has ever gotten to know the true me doesn't care about me and wont even make efforts to reply to me or contact me, I am rejected for what I am.

>>23685338
CBT is a lifestyle aimed idea. In fact, it's literally a "change the way your brain thinks" idea. It's just... hard to force yourself to change your thought patterns. Depression is comforting, you know?

>>23685343
Yeah, acknowledging it and trying to be aware of it does not make the experience any less shitty, but it helps

>>23685348
It's one of those "gotta love yourself before others can love you" blah blah blah bullshit things. But also, a huge amount of people just can't really see beyond themselves, so, you can't rely on them to care. Plus... what do you really feel about them in reverse? Would you be trying to save them? If so, would it be because you care, or because you want to be a hero?

This doesn't really make you feel any less lonely, though. Meh. I wish I knew the answer to that.

>>23685352
I'm are of CBT. It sounds promising.

>Depression is comforting, you know?
I think I understand what might prompt you to say this. But it sounds like blaming

>>23685380
I mean, it's totally a justification for my own weakness. I'm just saying that other people might feel the same way. It's hard to try to change yourself, when it's just so goddamn easy and safe to wrap yourself back up in your depression like a blanket. It's just the natural mode of thinking, and everything else requires so much energy that I/they don't have. Not saying it cant be overcome, but it's like climbing up a cliff -- every time you slip you're back at the bottom.

>>23685397
Yes, I think I understand where you are coming from on this. It is very hard to argue with yourself, especially in the long-term way you need to do to deal with ongoing depression

>>23685414
It would be easier if it was something you could manifest. "I need to stop doing this heroin" or similar. Instead it's just like... I need to stop being me. In my head. Quit it.

>>23685429
Yeah. That's hard. I think it easy to adopt depression as part of you. It has such a massive impact. For creative people, it can be a good fuel. But it is not an essential part of your self, I think, even though I deal with it so much. It is definitely is a part of my sense of self and an important part of my life. but the actual feeling of being depressed, I would still be me without.