How are you guys coping? Why are you sad? It's a long way

>>23526143
I fucking love Red Letter Media

If you don't want to be sad we can talk about them for a while

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>>23526143
Education went to shit as I never was good in math.
Government shitfacing me to get a job yet there is no job in my area.
Can't take anything serious anymore.
Technically I'd just like to stay home and play video games, being ignored by other people. Not like I'm such a big loss, eh?

>>23526486
What was your major dude?

I'm currently working a shit job to fund my college degree in computer science. I did shit in high school but I just chalked that up to poor work ethic and depression.

I'm worried I'm genuinely just stupid. In which case I'll just end my life once I'm drowning in student loans.

I'm actually just going into a cut so when I kill myself the EMT's and mortician can mire. After crying myself to sleep every other night for months, and really really trying to get back out and meet new people and find a connection somewhere, it's occured to me that the feeling that came when she walked out the door that last time wasn't just overemotional bullshit. That was the love of my life. I can't even get hard without thinking about her, talking to women is boring, and all of my buddies are saying something changed about me. I feel emptied out, and it's been almost half a year. Working out doesn't give me that high, even after breaking plateau, food never tastes good, being drunk is depressing, and to top it all any inspiration I had for writing is long dead. I've been single for years without a problem, Hell, I went 2 years without even getting a hand job and it didn't occur to me until I realized that I wanted her more than anything ever before. She brought this new meaning to everything. I was a man before finding her, but with her I was so much more. Now it's gone, what doesn't ache of me feels nonexistent.

It would have all been okay having never met her.

>>23526143
>>23526143
Here's a pretty good one brah.

Everyone, good luck with your pains and trials. I hope that you all find something better, in yourselves or in the strength of others. Keep a tight hold on your heart, and don't surrender your passions for anything lesser just for momentary satisfaction.

>>23526143
>>23526861
Fuck me, there.

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>>23526786
I guess another thing is my selection of friends.
Don't really have any IRL, most are either not fun to have around or never got time to chill. Most of my 'friends' are on Steam. Met this one guy over a group and yeah.
He was a fun chap. Didn't talk much but not too few, was a good lad to have around. Played some vidya with him now and then. But one time, he told me that he's into crossdressing and said that people want to fuck his thighs. I got a little bit too curious and annoyed him with it a lot. Now we're just existing without talking at all, as he never replies. But he's still a good bro.

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>>23526867
>>23526861
>>23526143
Oh my God.

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Tfw when you're a permavirgin bcuz you have ED :(

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Gf was stabbed to death last year. I don't think I'll ever be "over it" because we were so far along in our relationship that I had decided to propose. I was on my way over from work and got there as the last thing she'd see.

I am currently dating again.

I've been coping with filthyfrank, Robbaz, my new gf and blacksmithing

Pic related, it's my current lovely lady

>Probably have BPD (never officially diagnosed but went to therapy and stuff for mood swings back in the day, dissociate, a piece of shit to other people at times, etc)

>Light gender dysphoria (female but have some male moments especially when in bed with boyfriend who is sub)

How am I coping? I try to stop myself as soon as I notice I'm wrong and when an emotional rollercoaster shows up, I try to ride it out. When stress shows up from college though, I avoid seeing my boyfriend cause I know it'll end up in a fight.

For the second part, I ended up telling my boyfriend when I was really drunk once and cried my face off. He said he'd never leave me for it, which is really nice.

We used to do mild butt stuff but he refuses to let me peg him after I spent $200 on a vibrating strap-on with the most unrealistic-looking dildo I could find (it's purple and has one of those non-dick-looking g-spot shapes). Like we tried it out and whatnot, it lasted like ten seconds until he told me to stop and that he was turned off. (Note: This is before I told him anything.)

But yeah, I'm always kinda not as turned on when I'm in a "male mood" and it takes me FOREVER to actually cum.

>>23528942
Shit man, that's rough D: Current lady is gorgeous though!

>>23528164
Pluck up those eyebrows and I'd say you have potential, actually.

I've just turned off. I haven't felt legitimately happy or excited about something in some time. I can still be entertained, but I don't really enjoy watching or playing anything anymore.

Now when I get really sad and chant "I want to die" inside my head, it's not so bad. Or, at least I don't have anything good to compare it to, so it's not like I'm super sad about it.

Most of my suicidal thoughts are just escapism. I want to stop living and playing this game so bad, but my friends and family are far, far, far too mentally weak to handle suicide by someone like me.

>>23530392
Holy shit are you me?
I'm exactly the same way. I have no interest in anything anymore. I'm just getting through each day for the sake of getting through the day. I cannot form any real connection or relationship with people anymore, but I'm not actually sad. Just empty.
Even down to the "I want to die" chant. Except mine is every time I remember something even slightly cringy I've ever done, no matter how long ago it happened or how mundane it was, I immediately just think "Kill me" over and over until I can force my mind off it. Like seriously, shit as small as "that one time I made a wrong turn and got lost" can send me into that chant.
Can't just an hero either because it would wreck my parents. I think they're the only ones who probably wouldn't get over it eventually. After they kick it I can die I guess, but that probably means another 20 years or so in the void.
Though I still sometimes wish for some kind of accident for myself in a way. Like for example sometimes if I'm driving and I realize I'm not wearing my seat belt, I'll reach for it, but then just think "Eh, if I die, then I die." It's not really suicidal, but I have no concern for danger anymore. In a way it's kinda freeing, but its only because I don't fear death. I won't do it myself, but I'll welcome death immediately if it comes to me.

>>23526143
intrusive thoughts are the worseeeee :(

does your country provide free mental health care?
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helped me a lot with my CBT that and anti depressants (life after a year on them) First 6 months was hell though

that being said I'm still in the habit of cutting people off so no one would know I was dead if I decided to.

>>23530456
I live in America. The land that allows people who have cancer become homeless because they can't pay their medical bills.

>>23526143
>be me
>be happily in love with a girl
>suddenly that girl I've loved and been there for, for years, cuts ties with me for another man
>be heart broken
>after a couple of months, see something in a store that reminds me of her
>text her about it, telling her that I miss her, and playing games together
>learn about things aren't going to well with her new boyfriend, and it's all her fault
>but in those couple of months she's more in love with him than with the five years with me, and sees him as her daddy, even though he is years younger than her and scrawny as fuck compared to me
>be emotionally crushed
>she cries to me about the thought of him breaking up with her
>she has a history of trying to kill herself, and tried to when she fucked up their relationship
>he leaves her
>she tries to make sense of it
>be there and support her for months, buy her the thing that reminded me of her
>things are going well, it's almost like good old times
>suddenly get emails from amazon, she is returning the things I've ever gotten her over the course of those years, and in that email it states how she doesn't want me to know about the returns and that she wants the returns onto a gift card for herself
>confront her about it
>she says she doesn't know what I am talking about and starts to become real snobby with me
>killmenow.jpg
>cuts all ties with me again and blocks me everywhere, changes her steam name and url several times in case I decide to look for her
>can easily confront her again on steam, but after seeing how much effort she put into throwing me into a ditch, decide it isn't worth it anymore
>slowly decaying like an old battery
>no joy in life, no purpose, no drive, no one

>>23530774
Ew, what a bitch. Sorry about your luck, anon :(

>>23530788
Thank you for caring.

I find myself muttering that I should just disappear or die, a lot. I think the best way for me to go is sitting down under a tree in the forest, with a picture of her as I just waste away as the days and nights pass until I die.

I had a heartbeat when I was with her. It's been stopped for five months.

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>>23530832
no that is not the best way for you to go. idiot.

you are malingering in the shadow of some shitty shit. grit your teeth and move on and perspective will be revealed, guaranteed.

>>23528164
Fuck off, shitposter

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>>23530832
I know the feeling dude. What's up with women anyway?

You can be there, unwavering in you love and support and care for months or years and they'll toss you in the fucking dumpster without a second thought, won't even feel bad about it.

It's probably just comes down to how much value they think you have. Everyone makes value based judgements dude. Everyone. Including me, the thought of me not being up to par and knowing (thinking) it's not going to get any better is enough for me to want to end my life.

Even if I wasn't an ugly fuck with worthless genes I'd still probably feel awful. What does anything matter when we just use each other? We toss the unwanted away and allow them to suffer without any guilt and we objectify the people we love.

Why am I still alive. Picture related. If anyone sees this guy walking down the street do him a favor and put a bullet in his head. Or a long hug, either or really.

Bummer

e t e r n a l
t o r m e n t

>>23528942

Is your girlfriend's lips stuck in an invisible pool drain? If not, that's a hilariously derpy expression she's got going there.

Good old major depression, been lacking motivation to do anything for a good 6-7 years or so. Never had a good relationship with family (outside the grandfather whom I lost 11 years back) and my only real warm bond was with a long-distance girlfriend of 6 years. The end of that relationship came as a bit of a surprise to me, and made the mental state a lot worse. Left me with abandonment issues that only got worse when I was cheated on in two future relationships. I'm also expecting some bipolarism and ASPD diagnoses incoming, but just started therapy recently so who knows what's actually incoming. Therapist totally started crying when I was going over all this stuff last session too, which was fun. Had a rifle in my mouth twice.

Coping by listening to overly edgy music, getting starting on substance abuse, and browsing /r9k/ too much for my own good. I just want to feel like I have someone I can rely on. Sick of working in tech and the thought of getting the brain fixed enough that I'd be able to switch careers and go to med school and make 400k annually as a surgeon so everyone who fucked me over feels is like they made a mistake is pretty much the only thing keeping me going. Also the seven year old sister is qt and I don't particularly want to fuck her up for life.