/sad/ Anyone else lonely? depressed? In a bad spot in life?

>>22976975
Hi Anon how are you today? I'm feeling relatively low as always.

>eternal depression
this is a part of my personality at this point

File: 20151213_154551.jpg (3MB, 3984x2988px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 3984x2988px

I'm locked up in here cause I wanted to kill myself. At least I'm allowed my phone and the security guard gave me the wifi password.

>>22976983
Me too. It's so bad when your 'friends' get sick of running on depression time and you're all alone again

More like bored. I'm trying /soc but seems very slow lately.

Is it me or most posters ain't much intersted in random interaction or other people in general?

Depression is part of life. It's learning to deal deal with it, that's the trick.

>>22976980
Always depressed. Not too bad cuz I watched a friend's band play but had to leave and fight crying half way through. How was yours

>>22977003
Girl?

>>22977009
I agree, but nobody's really interested in random interaction. People like having shit in common even its just sending their dick back and forth

>>22977017
Unfortunately not. Girls with problems get more support don't they

>>22977009
For a large part, the only interaction from /soc/ comes from people that want to flirt, get off or shitpost.


Not to mention the shift in the user base over the years.

>>22977004
I compulsively distance myself from my friends until I have none left
my depression has left me with minimal capability to feel anything other than disappointment

>>22977020
>nobody's really interested in random interaction

Nah, that's literally how I met /soc.

There used to be loads. In the "ask me aything" threads, and others like Historical Role, or Zombie Apocalypse.

I understand it's quite a silly thing, but this part of soc is kind of gone.

Now there's mostly Rates, KIK, and apathetic girls and their young boys orbiters.

>>22977013
What do you reckon the source of your depression is? That's cool, I've been to quite a few gigs this year in which I enjoyed a lot. Mine was okay, I didn't get out of the house as I had been working on deadlines for this semester. Could be worse.

>>22977026
Do you have kik anon

>>22977026
>girls with problems get more support
Yes; however, I'm interested... please elaborate.

BTW, the only reason why girls get more support is because men want to fuck them, and women like to feign compassion for each other because they're all attention whores.

I just want another introverted friend to watch movies and play video games with me.

>>22977028
Yeah, yeah.

I've seen a lots of "silent" posters lately.

Literally people that just drop their pictures in threads without ado.

It was probably the same before, but there was more interactive people so I didn't seemed that much.

>>22977048
CrescendoOfTheMoment
>>22977050
Elaborate on what? You asked if I was a girl.

Edit: fucking thing didn't post
I'm a horrible person who ruined someones life even more.
>>22976542

tldr: be taken for 3 years, meet bf's friend around almost 4 year mark. he likes me. I start to like him but realize it's all wrong. constant battle with my heart and my head to be a good gf, in the end worst gf ever..

I destroyed a poor mans heart, trust just for some fantasy love he had for me which I know I fed off and I hate to admit it and now we are "freinds" but you can never just be friends with someone you seriously lusted after and expect everything to be dandy. it doesn't work

>>22977040
It's always been like this. I think I'm meant to be alone. Not in a romanticized dramatic way. I really do know I'm never going to have close friends or any interests that would get me a place. Live. Work. Die. Even slower when you're ill

>>22977026
When I was in the mental wing there were way more girls than guys.

>>22977062
it didn't*

>>22977063
>you asked if I was a girl
That wasn't me

I'm curious about your current predicament...
Where are you?
How did you get there?
Specifics

Well, I started talking to people on skype, and met some friendly people. I wasn't looking for a relationship and I feel like I may have led a guy on, and now idk what to what, if I dont want to hurt him, but im hurting him by talking to him, and i will hurt him if I stop? im in a pickle lol

>>22977068
Maybe in adolescent. I usually go there but this time it was full so they sent me to the adult side. They asked if I want to be transferred but I said no, it's far better here. Less strict.
>>22977077
I'm in Canada. I had a lot of suicidal thoughts so I came here myself. It's on and off, sometimes I feel intensely like I want to do it, other times not. It was in the not period that I came here.

>>22977092
Make it clear you have no intentions of going further with this man. You will pay the price of hurting him if you don't.. Randomly disappearing is a choice like blocking him but..
You should get it out.

>>22977095
What made you check yourself in if you wanted to die? Did you not want to put your loved ones through that, or is it that you still have a will to live and the suicidal thoughts are compulsive?

>>22977067
My depression has only come on recently in the last few years of the sudden realisation of how my parent's divorce effected me. My advice is to try and find something you enjoy, I have taken up a lot of interests recently and have got into boxing amongst some other sports and expanding my horizons a bit. Even started asking girls out on dates or trying to speak to girls has helped me out a lot.

>22
>no direver's license
>Had only one gf, single since 4 years
>Dropped studies
>Living with mom
Well fuck, I'm seriously thinking about killing myself

File: 1427652291549.gif (1021KB, 500x265px) Image search: [Google]

1021KB, 500x265px

>>22976975
I haven't had a decent real life conversation since I moved to Spain. It's been over a month. I'm so fucking lonely.

All I want is just someone from Valencia to befriend and hang out and maybe to help teach me Spanish and culturally enrich me.

>tfw no novio

>>22977150
My love situation is really really complicated. I won't date or anything. Where I am now, I just want a sugar baby to spoil who adores me. That makes me happy. I'm walking on eggshells with what I love though, as depression kills my will to read.

Ducktouchet69 <= my snap, I'm a dude though.
Just started college, the people here are weird and confuse me.
I could do with a few people to chat too.

I would go more in depth, but I'm on my phone.

>>22977156
>tfw never had a decent real life conversation with anyone but my dad and my sister in 18 years

>>22977155
Get your driver's license. I only learned to drive when I was a little younger than you. If you can drive, you can get a job/continue studying, etc. I was finally able to move out from my mom's place this year. Baby steps dude.

If anyone wants to talk private my Kiks lobsterbutter420. Lonely as fuck, shoot me adds

>>22977098
I have told him that i wasnt interested right now

>>22977167
Yeah, of course for me I'm just entering that side of my life where I don't have any emotional attachments or broken hearts from women. If that's what you want then try to achieve it by looking past the depression and trying to get into a relationship. I know how it feels though when you want to do something but you can't.

>>22977183
Noo you don't understand. I'm in love already I don't want to date. I want friends and a non romantic partner.

>>22977177
If you said it straightforwardly like that, good on you. If he doesn't respect that, you've really only dodged a bullet.

>>22977062
That's always happened of course and is worst during holiday breaks and summer. It does seem that they aren't skipped as often as they used to be, subtly forcing them into the conversation/topic at hand.

>>22977210
Ahhh, well perhaps join a reading club. I'm pretty sure there is some places where you could meet like minded individuals?

>>22977223
I wouldn't talk to anybody who'd join a reading club. Not in a billion years. I'm sure they'd look at me once and not make any effort to talk to me either. I think I have an aura about me that just creates an awful atmosphere wherever I am even when I'm happy

M/21
>kissless virgin. It's not even the not having sex part dammit I just want to love and feel loved
>literally cannot get motivated. Like I'll run out of clean clothes and just wear dirty ones for a few days even tho I have a washing machine in my house
>literally can't focus. Can't play vidya, read or play an instrument without loosing focus randomly after 10 minutes so I just stop
>feel like I waste all my spare time by uselessly watching crap tv and getting tucked up on booze and weed
>looking back I realize that I have tons of regrets and it's too late to change any of them. I always wanted to play a sport in hs but apparently after people graduate from hs it's too late to learn and play a sport. Also realized I went to the wrong university bc they don't have any clubs activities or classes I really enjoy but all my friends are here and I can't get out of the lease
>holy shit I just want it all to end but probably won't kill myself
>why can't I just die in my sleep or something

>>22977230
Why's that? Is this on what you have heard or a perception that you have created yourself? I would say experience it and then if you don't like it you don't like it. At least in any instance, you would have got out of your comfort zone. For me this made my depression a lot less aggressive as I had tried things and not had regrets.

>>22977065
Stop talking to the guy, it'll cut him up but it's the only way he'll move on.
Shit situation for both of you but what's done is done.

>>22977237
This is me if I was a virgin

>>22977242
Theres a difference between being uncomfortable and annoyed

>>22977251
I also forgot to mention how I yearn to make new friends and be part of the group yet I just shoot myself in the foot
Like I don't talk to people and always give very short and too the point answers if people ask me a question

I also get super angry at stupid little shit
For example if some guy is driving a bit too slow in front of me I start yelling about how their a fucking retard

And I always have negative fantasies about getting into fights and shit

Hell there were several times earlier today I wanted to punch someone in the face and break their nose

>>22977171
Starting studies 11th of January, I had shit childhood, my dad begged me for driver's license, I said no like a dumbfuck, this is actually my studio but ran out of €€€, she pays the rent actually, I'm thinking about paying the driver's license with my scholarship but things ain't that easy.

Thanks for cheering me up bud

>>22977334
Oooo you remind me of someone a lot.
And not just myself. I feel you so hard would you wanna talk more

>>22977003
Been a few months but when I was there, I got nothing. No music, phone, or books. Plenty of caring personnel though, I hope they can help you.

>>22977400
Sure what's your kik or Skype or email?

Can't put mein problem into words
>level of autism is quite high

>>22977416
My kik is here >>22977174

>>22977237
feel you man, i've been through the same dilemma , and still. try reading "on the heights of despair," wow, what am i talking about, you just said you cannot concentrate, well fuck, i know really how this feels like, i too cannot do any thing that requires mental/ physical effort. i'm only wasting time on trivial crap, just for the hell of it, just to pass time ................

File: 7VvZX35.png (493KB, 1440x769px) Image search: [Google]

493KB, 1440x769px

pic related

File: 1450304569464.jpg (67KB, 510x730px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 510x730px

I'm questioning my future and happiness and it just all feels too much.. I almost want it to stop.

He wants kids, I can never have kids in my body and he just keeps posting shit on fb about how his friends have kids and he doesn't
I'm a burden to almost everyone I dated or opened up too

>>22977134
Like I said, it's on and off

>>22977542
Never have his kids. He sounds like a dick or stupid. You should keep your heart open if just a crack for a 'true love' to walk in. Though waiting is very bad advice to those who are depressed:(

>>22977553
Our kids will most likely end up retarded knowing my luck and complications with my reproductive system, bag eggs even if there are eggs..

Everyone says he is bad for me, but I am no better. I'm lazy, leeching off him and his family for 4 years, dropped out of college, never had a job, no motivation no goals just sit around the house, doing household duties to make up for what I can.

I'm no good in my eyes.

>>22977575
Sylvia Plath thought the exact same thing. good and bad isn't real. You should let go of those ideas, it will set you free just a little bit more

I'm constantly lonely. Add my kik if you want to chat sometime.

seanv2

25/m/uk

I just want a place to live ;_;
Everywhere I go everyone is always yelling about stupid shit and always stressed out and I just can't handle the shit my anxiety is insane

I just wanna live with someone who is nice and introverted and semi-responsible for fuck's sake I hate this state and everyone in it fffsssssss

Got two hours of sleep. Haven't eaten in a day. Self harmed for the first time in months.

You could say I'm hitting a low patch. It might not get better this time

I just hate my life. I hate my day job. I love my hobbies but my job makes me hate doing anything at all.

I feel like everything I do is for nothing. I want to bring meaning to my life but I feel like I just fail at everything.

My back hurts. My friends forget about me. It's really fucking hot.

Probably very silly and trivial compared to the rest of your problems but fuck it.

Even though I may not experiencing a low the same degree as other people in this thread, it's still nice to converse with one another. My kik is: PachkaSigaret

I can't socialize. I go to work then come home. That's my life. I have no social life. I'm a 20 year old college dropout who never dated and has no friends. My parents are annoying assholes who never stop bothering me about being a loser. Worst part is I'm told I'm a good looking guy from people on /soc/. I also post in dick rate threads a lot and always get good scores. I'm just a 20 year old socially inept failure. I'm slowly losing my mind.

Still depressed from a school shooting that occured about 2 months ago at my school. Thankfully I wasn't there, but I lost a close friend.

I miss you Kim, you were a great friend, and your daughter misses you so dearly.

I have too much to type out. But I just feel hopeless. And like I'll never get my life on track.

File: j33vesu.jpg (19KB, 217x320px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 217x320px

>>22977170
Damn dude. You can talk to me

My best friend killed herself yesterday, comfort me /soc/ :/

>>22977689
What state?

>>22978619
I'm so sorry anon. Wanna talk about it?
Me, I'm a loner who has no one to spend the Christmas holidays with.

File: 1447166309903.jpg (182KB, 1080x720px) Image search: [Google]

182KB, 1080x720px

>tfw too ugly to get a gf
>will be alone until i inevitably work up the courage to just end it

>>22978703
You need a haircut and gym

>>22978678
Not at the moment, thank you though, it does mean a lot

>>22978714
I understand, I almost wasn't going to ask, because I'm not sure I even know what you're going through. Take care

>>22978720
The fact I even told anyone is progress. Today at work someone asked if I was alright and I almost broke down and cried. But I had to keep it together, it sucks having to keep everything bottled up man

File: implying.png (457KB, 600x450px) Image search: [Google]

457KB, 600x450px

>>22978706

Hello hello, anyone awake? My mind is all over the place tonight and I'm. having trouble sleeping.. is anyone free to talk maybe via skype?

>>22978703
what is your skype? you seem like a gentle person and i would love to chat :)

File: 2015-12-15_17.53.00.jpg (739KB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

739KB, 1080x1920px

Always sad, you just learn to hide it.

>>22979143

Sure I'll talk to you. add me: kuply.kop

>>22979143
Skype is cant.anchor.us

I just realized I have actual depression. I've been depressed before but i'm finally coming to grips with the fact that I've had it for years. My relationship failed a few months ago and I'm not over it. I feel like I'm stuck in life. i can't fucking finish school. I just feel like a failure and despite having some amazing friends I'm cripplingly lonely.

So yeah.

>>22979183
Brings up two users, both you?

>>22979190
Oi, both are me but i can only access one on my phone here.. i forgot the password to the other

File: 3bXwWcvCLOY.jpg (44KB, 604x523px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 604x523px

ok im eternally recalling my recent thin girl... she said i was too weak for her, maybe shes right

i met her in internet. she has a tatoo, forearm scars from suicide, natural blond and blue eyes.

so we kissed in a cemetery and walked everywhere... i walked on sunshine. she is so cute and smart, my little warrior. :( i spent a night in her flat, but i was too shy to have a sex. so we were just hugging. im fucking sucker.
it was the 1st experience of holding hands :3

im 27 old depressive one. now she's gone because i have no job money and im no independent, and she is.

im forever to remember her eyes, hands, her small titties, smile, childish voice, figure, style, and her name is Hope

my language is lame im russian

File: anime-anime-sad-girl-beautiful-cry-Favim.com-629416.jpg (25KB, 500x479px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 500x479px

18/f/usa
i'm feeling like trash and im looking for someone to waste a lot of time playing games with (pref league of legends) i also want to sleep on skype with someone.
skype: screamingatghosts

>>22979605
what do you mean "to sleep on skipe"?

>>22979611
Cam chat fall asleep together on cam its pretty reassuring you sorta feel safe

My life is ok. I don't know if I belong here but I'm down with food poisoning and I had so much to do today and all I did was lay in bed trying to recover. I'm really upset about it, I was so ready to have a productive day.

File: 1450245964552.jpg (131KB, 565x575px) Image search: [Google]

131KB, 565x575px

>>22979701
Ayy thats my life minus the sickness and instead of a day its 3 months

>>22976975
Feeling low today. I'm struggling to deal with people and I'm very confused by them at the moment, friends and strangers. I feel very vulnerable emotionally and minor stuff just seems to hurt me and I don't understand why. I thought I was bi but I think I'm just gay but I'm such a sperg I still can't talk to men properly and I've tried grindr recently but I can't help but feel like a bit of a loser and that I don't fit into that crowd. I just don't know what direction I'm going in at the moment. I guess a lethal combination of stress from studying and my personal life is taking its toll at the moment.

I lost everything, EVERYTHING, im in debt, and other than my parents i have nothing else i can lean on.
Also, people label me as an asshole so i have that going too.

Every moment awake without beer is kind of lonely

File: goh6.png (86KB, 406x375px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 406x375px

>>22980208
I'll go get one just for you man.

>>22980220
thanks mate. I will probably grab few later today with a friend. Yesterday was first day full sober after a streak of over a week. Feels odd man

>tfw your problems really aren't that bad anymore and you feel guilt for feeling negatively or tired at all

The ego is truly a disease.

>>22978619
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! Reach out when you are ready to talk, it will help heal your soul, I know at least it has for me.

Almost a year ago I became really sick with adrenal failure, near death until Dr figured it out and got me on meds. My wife just yelled at me calling me lazy, etc, etc. 9 months of no compassion has left me so lonely and emotionally needy. I need someone to hold me and love me, my cat tries, she's a sweet little cat. I met someone online who has been so good to me but she is 3000+ miles away and it is highly unlikely we will meet anytime soon if ever.

I am older than a few of you I expect.
45. I don't have lots of answers but im willing to lend an ear to those who want it.
kik penfan88

>>22981937
At the very least it is great you made a connection. Online relationships can be hard to maintain but I hope whatever happens your friendship will help you through these tough times.

>>22983840
Thank you. I don't have many friends where I live because the ones I had were f and I gave them up for my soon to be ex and I have been putty myself out there as I have been feeling better but it is still difficult.

>>22977170
How old are you anon?

Everything would be fine if I could let go of my ambitions. I wouldn't have to pressure myself and never feel good enough. I could just relax and enjoy the little things. But when I was depressed in hs it was the thought of purduing my passion that got me out of it, and for a while everyday I felt vibrant and motivated.

5 years later I feel like I've gotten slapped hard by reality. I wasted my teens with extreme escapism and thought that I didn't like socializing though I was actually just shy. I feel like I'm lacking social skills and confidence that I could have gotten if I'd gone out and seen people instead of binge watching anime.

Though I can't say I'm sad, i struggle every day with extreme procrastination and tons of bad habits. And after I started caring more about social skills it's getting harder and harder to relate to my old nerdy friends. I feel like they're holding me back, both with their refusal to seek out social gatherings, and how they care more about watching shows and movies than improving their lives. And I also feel like a dick for feeling this way.

Don't know where I belong anymore and I just want to get back to how I felt when I just got out of depression.

File: Blue Beauty.jpg (1MB, 1225x1327px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1225x1327px

I am not feeling too well at all.

The person I'd consider the love of my life has been spending time with me once every couple months at best, we were so close once but for reasons I'm not quite sure of they click with me and then unclick inevitably, so that's been upsetting for a better part of a decade.

The person I'm closest to now is just very unwell health wise, and I'm finding it hard to focus on them in general, cloudy brain, don't know why. They're not going to be getting better.

My most recent two lovers were both in very poor positions and had many issues to begin with, which I guess is sort of my type, and when I helped the first we eventually just...drifted, so that was upsetting, sad to see them kind of just end up where we started too.

The second was worse though, I got to the point where everything was on the table calmly but they just wouldn't give up bad habits. Strange addictions people have to lying and poor behavior, even with somebody they will be honest with within the hour and regret the random compulsive lying anyway. So that was really upsetting, just a stinging failure I suppose. That was a connection I really wanted to flourish.

I find myself looking for somebody new, but person after person is unfulfilling right now. The people I like aren't focussed and wordy and brainy enough and the people that are...are too serious and plain and narrow, and people want to do and worry about so much but the people that don't are not there at all when we're face to face.

Ramble ramble. I'm kind of incoherent, sorry.

I'm in such a good spot overall but these recent developments are rather sudden and squished together, in contrast they are making me so fucking uneasy.

I hope all of you get well soon.

I'm worse even for r9k standards.
Almost done with college.
I don't want to work, I don't even know what I want to do, I never looked this far ahead in life.
My college was a joke and I have 0 skills. No friends or gf for support either. I haven't had a friend in almost 6 years now.

>>22986102
18

File: 1450065508260.jpg (107KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [Google]

107KB, 768x1024px

kik is imontheinternetlol

Depressed as fuck, 25/m/aus

>>22986141
I went most of my life dating damaged women it never worked out. I thought I finally had found a keeper, but 6yrs in she started becoming distant and when I became really ill she refused to be there for me, so I feel your pain. Work on getting yourself into a better place. Don't rush into the next relationship. Find friends first.

File: Photo on 2015-12-18 at 07.45.jpg (88KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 640x480px

>>22976975
Its /soc/ we are all on the verge of suicide

>>22978703
Son you are not too ugly you have been surrounded by lies

you have potential don't let the gym scare you or even the attitude of "i'll just giveup" you can get a qt man your not that bad at all I bet you could even get a chick now your face isn't that bad

anyone I try to talk to just stops taking to me

shit sucks senpai

other than that my life is going nowhere and Im just waiting around doing nothing about it

>>22987203
aw don't be that way, I'll be your friend!

I've been really depressed for about a year now, clinically its been that way for 10 years, but only recently have I actually acknowledged it. The last 6 months have added in a lot of anxiety so I'm starting to get kind of neurotic.

This time last year I lost someone right as I fucked up and caught feelings for them. I moved afterwards and created a new life for myself, and that was ended up mostly successful. But the success actually made me more depressed because I had no one to share it with.

A few months in I figured she'd never love me back so I rebounded. That went terribly. Moved again, this time somewhere beautiful thinking nature would be therapeutic. Again having no one to share lifes beauty with got depressing.

Then 3 months ago I found out I'm terminally ill. I had a case worker helping me but she pretty much abandoned me, and I can't say I have the motivation to fight on my own.

Soon this will all be over. In the meantime I'm using my engineering degree and remaining cash to develop technology that will help with future issues facing humanity. If I haven't died by then, I'm building a house to leave behind for the people I love.

I would have killed myself by now but death will be here soon enough, and I don't want to selfishly take the life others spent time enriching.

I'm getting a lot of people christmas presents so they feel cared about through the holidays, but I know the sentiment isn't shared. This comes at the cost of starving myself for a week and not paying my bills, but who needs food when youre dead?

New league seasons coming up, I heard some colleges are doing scholarships for that, leagues pretty much all I do now you guys think I have a shot?

>>22988207
>posting here instead of playing
nah you dont stand a bloody chance.

>>22988212
Im doing my hair rn, I think if I reach diamond next season I think I could try

File: 1444504341595.png (67KB, 285x276px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 285x276px

>Be 22 soon
>Can't sleep at night and think how wonderful if I had someone under my sheets with me
>Work out and fuck but barely talk with girls
>No driver's license, feel really bad about it
>Nice looking but socially awkward, have pick up lines but never engage because... idk beta?

Just finished for christmas break today, thought it would be more exciting but I've done nothing except come home and nap. I have nobody to call to hang out with and I'm incredibly lonely here. Not sure what to do really.

I'm so alone and want to an hero
18/ female
Snapchat: deatheater452
Talk to me please?

Almost 2AM. Working tomorrow afternoon, which I really am not thrilled about so I am trying to milk this night as much as I can.

Friends called me to go out but I told them to fuck off. They don't want to drink, they don't want to try approaching girls with me, what's the fucking point then.
Deleted my facebook account couple of days ago. I work every day but I have that neet-like cabin fever because my every day is literally the same, I work alone and I am home alone.

Managed to get rejected like 6 times this year. Drinking more and more, but it's not exactly helping. I just wish I had a girlfriend to sleep next to and to take out for long walks when its super fucking cold outside. Then we could come back, I could make some hot chocolate and we could snuggle up under a blanket and a watch a shitty romcom of her preference.

You ever feel like reality is just slipping away from your grasp slowly?

File: REACTIVE_EXPLOSIVE_BANDAGES.png (23KB, 360x485px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 360x485px

>Constantly getting sick
>No motivation once I get home
>Want to be in a relationship but I'm awful at getting people to fall for me
>Just want someone who can cheer me up and a bit and tell me they love me

>>22989139
This without the getting sick desu

>Can't give up jerking off, managed to lower it down to once a week, can't break it farther.
>Can't stay consistent with work outs, some days are hype most are pretty meh.
>Tell myself I'll add running every other week but always fall through it.
>Can't buckle down and practice on my studies and get a decent paying job, just keep wasting away on the internet doing nothing.

Fuck, all these posts are just hitting the nail head on. I'm just trying to keep myself busy by focusing on work but the crippling reality is I don't have friends after college. Anyone in Cypress, Texas hit me up on kik: dddb1
It's reality, but it changes, putting in effort changes things with enough time. In kinda feeling sushi, if anyone near me hits me up within the hour it's my treat

slowly developing a serious dependency on alcohol. getting drunk pretty much every day, sometimes i day or two passes without a drop. that happens once every two weeks or something like that. day after i feel enormous guilt because i imagine i look like a fool with no future to people i hang out with , then i drink again to remove that feeling. my reality seems to be distorted in some nighmarish way.

Me and my ex tried an open relationship but she started ignoring me for a guy she was hooking up with and practically began dating him. I started talking to one of her ex friends so she broke up with me but kept acting like we were dating. I ended things for good when I found out she had an affair with two of my best friends over the course of our 4.5 year relationship. We were on okay terms until she got pulled over with my pot in her car after work (we work together). I didn't go to court and split the punishment with her, so now her entire family (some of whom i became friends with) and her fucking hate the fuck out of me and keep telling me I ruined her entire future and life. She is the only witness to a car accident that I am being sued over and will probably fuck me over if I somehow need her for court when that happens. Also, I'm in love with my best friend and I'm too afraid to do anything about it so I feel lonely as fuck and my anxiety is always through the roof because of this lawsuit.

File: 1447544953788.png (2MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1920x1080px

I wouldn't know where to start. Existentialist reasons, integration issues, financial issues, inability to get along with people, an unhealthy point of view regarding people I meet, etc.

Evolution should have filtered my genetics out of existence.

>be me
>chronic depression since young, tried to an hero, etc
>move to a new city cause got a great job offer
>go for it thinking it'll be awesome cause new work gonna be the shit with hard stuff to do and I like that a lot
>work ends up being boring af and with nothing challenging
>making a decent amount of money and living in a huge city though, so who careas, let's turn party mode on
>start to pretty much party everyday
>I seriously dk what happens but it's like everyday I find out something to do, or there's a friend living here inviting me to do something
>it becomes work 8 hours and go drink at night everyday
>first week is fun
>then there's always this feeling of loneliness whenever the party time stops
>it gets worse and worse
>have some random hookups and sex here and there
>meet qt, hookup a few times, doesn't go anywhere
>meet another qt, we talk every now and then, it's awesome every time, but I'm never able to see her because something always happens with me or with her
>being like that for over a month
>really into her though
>a coworker is moving out of the country because of new job
>he decides his farewell party is gonna be at a whorehouse
>whynot
>spend a huge lot on drinks
>the plan is just to drink and have fun with the guys
>suddenly pornstar is stripping there
>sheeet I used to be mad about her
>end up paying to have sex with her
>not as nearly as good as I thought it would be
>maybe cause I don't want sex, I just want the loneliness to disappear
>start talking to a pretty cool prostitute after that
>like, bro-ish talk, srsly
>we find out we leave across the street from each other
>there's this pretty expensive party on saturday where her friend is gonna be a dj
>famous people and shit
>the ticket is a shitload of money, the drinks cost a shitload of money there too
>says she's gonna get me a ticket that it costs like 50 bucks and you can drink 50 bucks (so, 50 bucks of drinks in the end)
>cool
>she gives me her number
(1/2)

>fast forward to friday aka today, tired as fuck, message some friends, no replies
>"hey neighbour, wanna grab some drinks?"
>"sure"
>friends invite me to a party after that
>decide not to go with them, cause tired as fuck, better grab some drinks around here and sleep after that
>just didn't want to to that alone
>but now I've got someone to go with, yay
>go to a bar with her a block from here
>drink, talk, she really seems like a pretty cool person
>she brought me the ticket she talked about
>"call me, cause then we can go together, I'll get you to the vip area and whatnot"
>cool
>"i also bought some ecs, can give you some anon, if you're into that"
>cool
>it gets late
>I say I gotta do laundry and shit
>"how do you do your laundry, anon?"
>explain my messy process
>nah, not right, I'm gonna go there and teach you how to laundry properly
>decline the offer idk why
>I'm really fucking tired though
>she says something else in that sense
>I realize that maybe she is inviting me over or trying to be invited over
>idk if I want that, but at this point I've already fucked up anyways, so don't even care and pretend that didn't happen
>bill comes
>she ignores the fact that there's a bill there
>"split it, right?"
>"no, you invited me anon, you gotta pay"
>not much money desu, but I really don't like doing that
>also cause she obviously makes way more money than me
>end up paying though
>we leave
>in front of our buildings, she says she's gotta go cause she has a client and he's already arrived
>obviously not true
>say goodbye, go back to our places
>still dunno if we were being friends or if she was into me or if she just thought I wanted to be a client or something
>I guess tomorrow is gonna be pretty weird if I go
>but it's like I've got nothing to lose anyway
>and my life is already a mess anyway
>damn, I just want to connect to people and make friends
(2/2)

just wanted to vent about my messy life a bit, thanks for reading it if you did

File: 1412506861259.jpg (1MB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1920x1080px

If anybody ever needs someone to reach out to my kik and snapchat are Dale515100 You can always get in touch with me if you have a bad day or just need someone to talk about anything. Stay safe everyone and have a great weekend!

File: 5601575+_2c81c3d125b2d46bbc4e30d629f9c3be.jpg (8KB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 200x200px

>>22976975
Women don't like me in a romantic way.

Search god
/thread

I feel like I'm stuck while the rest of the world is passing my by. I'm still in college at 23 (I never failed any classes, I just went to community, then transferred, then switched majors once). I'm not any closer to doing what I want to be doing with my life, and all I see are people who are doing what they want to do in life, professionally or otherwise. For me, it feels like college turned out to be a huge scam, but my parents always pushed me way too hard to do well in school, and now I'm too far in to just drop out without finishing up my program. I keep telling myself once I get on break, I'll do something creative or productive with my time, but even when I'm not in school, my motivation is just as low. I really feel like school has ruined me as a person.

If anyone lives in Washington and wants a hug or someone to hang out with I'm here for you

so , am just a person who alone at the moment,
i am so alone and sad. I just want to to talk to someone.
skype monkfish1337

Kik :luna.loves_u

>>22991661
Can't promise a good conversation but I'll talk to you anon

>>22979605
i would totally waste time and play league but sleeping on skype feels weird af to me

Here's my predicament

I basically did a lot of shitty and manipulative things to a girl who held me very close

Eventually, it dawned on me that I was not some huge alpha for treating one obsessed girl like shit

In fact, I am still the same beta fuck I was before I met her, and I still find it impossible to talk to people

And I just found out recently that she attempted suicide

And the worst part is, I deserve no sympathy and I damn well know it

A very sweet guy I work with online told me he had feelings for me about six months ago.
I told him everything wrong with myself, that I think he'd be able to find himself a nice girl in the time it takes me to lose weight and everything I could think of to make him turn and run, but it didn't work. He kept talking to me, wanting to play games together, being a goofy romantic and I fell in love with him completely.

The problem is the more I lose weight, the more I'm realizing how fucked up my body is from being a landwhale since childhood. I feel selfish for even liking him and I want to tell him this, but I don't know how to bring it up that I'm going to look like I stepped on a mine. I know the longer I wait, the more he's just going to be hurt and I'm completely terrified of what's going to happen.
Also, I'm a 27 year old virgin with almost no experience with people let alone a relationship with a man.

used to get along real well with other people
now I'm just a hermit, basically
I blew all the money I had saved up to pay off community college debt so now I'm 21 with no vehicle, doing odd jobs for a family friend, when I should have been in university already, but the thing with that is my folks' credit is bad and so I wouldn't be able to get the huge loan necessary to pay off classes so I had to drop all my classes, meaning that I'm fucked as far as that goes, I can't go back to community college because I would have to pay out of pocket due to financial aid problems and what's more is I'm likely going to have to go in the military to pay off my debt/go to school in the future. my little brother killed himself last year and then his older brother killed himself this year out of depression due to that, I haven't had a gf in over a year due to all the bad things that happened last year, I stopped working out or playing guitar or really doing anything, I lost all my friends and now all I really do is work for that family friend, write, and pretty much that's it. I haven't had the energy to do much and to top it all of my cat died recently too, he was the only friend I really had left.

>>22991705
I'm no psychologist, but the fact that you feel scared about telling him that means you like him, right? And he likes you, right? I say tell him, I don't think he's going to freak out. Then again I'm just a random guy on the internet.

File: 3e4203d95d59710cf20c4985ee3bd8ec_970x.jpg (120KB, 970x645px) Image search: [Google]

120KB, 970x645px

Goofy guy from Sweden here. I'm no therapist but we can talk if you're bored or lonely.

Skype: awesome966 (mic preferred)
Snapchat: lelemuren

>>22989159
I jerk off like twice a day and none of that shit is any problem for me. Don't think you should be focusing on that man, just try to stick to a schedule, and get up of bed early each day, like 5 or 6 am.

>>22979605
How many requests have you gotten you glorious baiter

I've been having suicidal thoughts pretty much daily now. It used to be only in the midst of an episode but lately I've been either completely numb or self-harming in some way. I can't link to what might've set me off...
If I'm not drunk or high out of my mind I'm hurting my body in some other way like cutting or starving myself, but in a way I enjoy it because it's better than the way I feel without.

>>22991829
I'm also now painfully aware of how cliché I sound right now :)))

>>22991697
Go and apologize to her for abusing her, you fuck.

>>22991974
I did

I sent her a long and heartfelt email about it, that's when she responded about the suicide attempt

I never hit her or anything, just manipulated her emotionally

Everyday for the past 4 years I remenisce about how great life was before becoming an adult. I space out a lot especially when I go to places that bring back lots of memories from middle school. I've been stuck with this problem for years. Help

>18 since September
>Driver's License
>tfw no job
>tfw no car
>High school senior
>plan on graduation but no College
>applied once, so no acceptances
>Family doesn't get how school these days works.
>plan to live with friends in some apartment
>wanna work to support stuff like playing music and pursuing my dumbass dream of becoming a professional wrestler
>only had one job ever
>It was under the table
>no one wants to hire a car-less loser who's never had a real job.
>Family thinks I'm going to college
>First semester is done
I've got 3 particular friends keeping me happy every now and then between the disappointment of jobs never calling back and the grief that I'm running out of time and unable to leave this fucking house with my annoying ass, selfish, family who only look out for themselves and hate every choice I make.

File: itsobvious.gif (498KB, 500x369px) Image search: [Google]

498KB, 500x369px

>>22994293
and of course
>tfw no gf (or bf)

>talking to a friend on Skype
>they mention another friend they have
>instantly feel unimportant
>they don't care about you
>cry

I know it's fucking stupid, but it always happens. I want my friends to be happy and have other friends, but as soon as I hear about them I feel like I'm The Worse Friend.

>>22995485
I know that feel all too well. Whenever I'm out with friends and they mention something another of their friends did I get all booty rumbled. Honestly if we're gonna hang out then don't mention other people! That's what I always say.

>19 literally tomorrow
>nobody to spend my birthday with
>haven't had any birthday parties ever
>not even my mum cares
>literally no friends irl since i left school 3 years ago
>never had bf/gf
>almost had sex with a girl once but she said she has a bf at the last minute crushing any hopes with a girl ever again
>had a thing with this guy that was pretty intimate and some sexual stuff happened but he started losing his mind and eventually got so bad we couldn't be together any more
>no self confidence whatsoever no matter how many people on the internet tell me i'm not that bad
>lie in bed wishing for someone to lie next to me
>constantly wanting to die but never having the balls to end it myself
>the only thing i have in life is the internet and games

just fucking end me now make the suffering stop

File: abstract pepe.jpg (18KB, 502x460px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 502x460px

>>22977004
oh fuck this is literally, precisely what the deal is.
I've reached to the point where I don't even know if it's worth having friends and I satisfy my need for human interaction by talking shit on malaysian fingerpainting imageboards.

>>22995661
Happy birthday dude. I've got Skype if you want a friend to talk to.
Add ZekeWatson

I might tomorrow, it's 3:30am atm and I don't really feel like talking

I was a socially active chad up until sophomore year of hs

then my grandparents died, my mom lost her shit mentally, and I became a fat vidya addicted loser

now i'm healthy again, in very good shape for my age (18 senior in hs), good grades and want to reconnect with all of the people who left my life two years ago...

However, I feel like im trapped outside of the social bubble. Even though I now excel in normie qualities again I don't feel truly accepted, and I don't think I will ever feel truly accepted again...


Edit: While I was typing this I keep thinking about my two best friends...two bros who I met during my depression. They make me happy and make me feel accepted. At the end of the day I would rather have them than a bunch of acquaintances.

Listen guys, avoid "just" because there is more to life than "just" doing or "just acquiring something". Choose one thing, or make a real connection with one person. Focus on something real, find the beauty in it....

>>22995882
Hope to see you then. I'm in the UK too, so same timezones.
(Assuming UK because you said mum)

>>22995661
what's your favourite animal?

File: 1445771993581.gif (9KB, 210x250px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 210x250px

If only the majority of /r9k/ would migrate to this place, then that board may actually bask in some quality for once.

Not looking for a buddy, just needed to say this to someone since nobody knows I take/depend on antidepressants.

Ran out of my bupropion subscription the week before finals and couldn't afford anymore, so right now everything is terrible and I can't stop eating. I can't even make music at the moment, because the withdrawal is borderline crushing my soul.

>>22996039
this speaks to me

>>22997065
I like cats the most

I've been very depressed lately. I don't have energy to focus on anything.

Just a few minutes a go I saw a young couple kissing and embracing each other, it looked really beautiful, but at the same time I realized I will never get to experience such a blissful moment in my life.

I just want to end it all, but I'm too much of a fucking coward to end my miserable life.

>>22997906
I get this a lot too

File: 200_s.gif (36KB, 265x200px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 265x200px

>>22976975
18/f/va

Diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and sever depression and minor anxiety. Self-harmer since I was 11. Things were going pretty well until Thanksgiving and now I've been stuck in this mindset that I'm better off dead. Not really interested in finding a significant other but just someone I can talk to eaily and be 100% honest with with out them trying to go to my parents or the cops with my suicidal feelings (Because we all know we're all too pussy to go through with it, right?)

But anyways, I'm always looking for friends who can cheer me up and vise versa. I'l leave my kik and skype in hopes it won't be abused by typical 4chan swine (But that's a lost hope, isn't it?)

Kik: yololori

Skype: lori.lemon3

If I don't respond right away it's because the internet at my house is complete shit

>>22997939
Manassas, Uruguay?

>>22997945
nope some shit place in America

File: hg87hqag4.png (6KB, 275x103px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 275x103px

>>22997951

18/M
Just_idk

>>22994293
>>22995661
>>22995485
>>22991717
>>22991705
>>22991697
>>22991526
>>22989471
>>22989453
>>22989159
>>22989139
>>22987897
>>22986141
>>22986119
>>22980208

Aww, guys, I wanna hug you all...then stab you repeatedly...then cuddle your lifeless body.

>>22998028
I want to eat your buttock.

File: 1396430509932.jpg (191KB, 600x715px) Image search: [Google]

191KB, 600x715px

>18
>dropped out after first high school year
>neet for 2 years
>was hikki for over a year
>crippling social anxiety and depression
>never had a gf
>virgin
>0 irl friends
Should I kill myself?

>>22998039
Just get some anti depressants senpai

File: 1421858084120.jpg (132KB, 357x597px) Image search: [Google]

132KB, 357x597px

>>22998048
I've tried 4 different kinds.

>>22998053
What ones?

>>22998065
Atarax, Lergigan, Sertralin, I'm currently on Citalopram.
I think 2 of those are anti-anxiety and not antidepressants actually.

Lonely as shit, for the past few months.

I live in a foreign country to my own, where I don't speak the local language. I cannot hear the differences in vowels that they use. I've taken classes, not to mention been married to a local for three years, and just nothing; I can't hear the difference in vowels.

Well, on my 34th birthday, I discovered that my wife, who had quit working to go back to school because I'd gotten a good job in English a couple years ago (I work tech--it's always in English), was cheating on me with one of her professors. So I threw her out.

All of my friends locally were, naturally, our friends. I don't cultivate friendships at work because I'm in charge of quite a bit, and it works well to be friendly but not friends. Sure--I'll go out with a group when we all head to a bar or game after work. But I haven't made any friends I'd ever spend time with for genuine company.

Anyhow, I'm transferring back to a USA office. I decided I'd do it over the holidays, so I'm moving back next week, and leaving my home that I've lived in for the last five years (with my wife before we got married--I originally came on a work visa). The office is on the East coast of the USA, whereas everyone I know is in California.

Because of local laws and the USA's respect for them, I can't even file for divorce until next summer. Unless I want to go in front of a court and accuse my wife of adultery. I have gone well-past angry and just want things to be done; I'm not going to file charges against my wife just to speed things up. Men just don't do that kinda thing. So I'll wait until I'm allowed to file for no-fault divorce, which I can mail papers back here to process.

So between Christmas and New Year's, I'm moving. I just want to move the fuck on, but feel like I've been in this holding pattern for the past five months that just sucks.

Blogged as fuck.

>>22998072
Hmm, though it is sometimes contraindicated with anxiety, I'd ask your doctor to try you out on a low dose of bupropion. As a biochemist, I believe it's the most effective antidepressant on the market.

>>22998102
Alright I'll ask my doctor about it. Thanks.

>>22998072
I lost my mind (mania) on citalopram. Was hospitalized two days after starting it. Ended up with urinary retention and mydriasis bad enough I burnt something in my eyes and haven't been able to see in sunlight without sunglasses since (six years ago).

Nasty shit.

>>22998091
Where do you live?

>>22998146
I've been taking it for about 6 months now with max dose. It makes me more energetic but not happier.

>>22998166
French Canada, with emphasis on the French part (not Montreal). The way that vowels are pronounced, here, doesn't even resemble French.

>>22998028
thanks at least someone wants to do something with me

>>22998039

Your circle of comfort shrunk to the size of that noose anon. This is basically what happens when you shut off everythig and everyone. Now it`s a circle of discomfort.
You either expand it or you`ll die this way or another.

>tip: offer your parents you`ll go to grocery store. Try to explain them that you need it for therapy. Let them make a list of a couple items for you to buy. Go, wander a bit around aisles, collect items, pay at the register, say hi, thanks, bye, go home. Repeat next day. Let your parents make you do it. Ask the staff about some products you can`t find. Eventually try smiling to the cashier, then other people.

Drugs only keep you afloat. You have to make some effort to start swimming.