Research scientists and specifically mathematicians of /sci/,

so I can make fun of brainlets on a cantonese laundry board

>>9079665
I enjoy immersing myself in the math. I completely zone out and study math for hours on end when I'm onto something, and it's a very peaceful experience.

>>9079665
You see... I was a young boy. I was probably... six at the time. I did not have a care in the world. I liked to watch cartoons and super heros but then one day my mom took me to a weird place. This place was full of kids my age but there was something very different about them. I could not tell but I could simply feel it. My mom had gone there to talk to a woman and then this woman handed me a piece of paper. She said it was test for me and I just had to pick the best option in each problem. I did without much thought about what was happening and at the end she told my mom this one number: 165. You all know what I'm talking about. After this day I stopped going to school, I was not allowed to. I stopped watching cartoons because again, I was not allowed to. I now always went to this building to meet my tutor. He taught me math. I was ten and I already knew the fundamental theorem of calculus. Then they took me to competitions. USAMO, IMO... I've been in them all. I still have my medals but I do not like looking at them anymore. I hide them in my house. Anyways, after this I was taken to college. 14. Four fucking teen and doing topology. I thought it was cool. Hell, perhaps it was cool. Obviously now that I was in college I could not attend competitions anymore. Well, it is not like I wanted but at least the competitions gave me a false sensation of safety that I lack today. But anyways, college went by and I got my PhD. In the time all of this happened my parents divorced because my dad never wanted any of this for me. He wanted me to be a normal kid. He said my mom forced me to a life of misery and she could not take it so she left him. Then from the divorce proceedings my dad lost everything and I killed himself. All while I was abroad and did not know shit about anything that was going on. Anyways, I got my fucking degree. My whore of a mother got to brag on her facebook about her prodigy son one last time so I guess she won that battle huh.
cont.

>>9079712
Cont:
I cut all my ties with that bitch. I wanted nothing to do with her anymore. I had my degree anyways so that meant I could get a job so I did. Assistant professor at a good university. It was cool, I did some research with people I thought I liked. I discovered things I thought I cared for. But then I turned 30 and it was clear I was going nowhere. Every day I woke up and did the same thing. Talked to the same people. Read the same journals. I was already a full time professor by now with a strong standing at my university so I thought maybe I could relax now. I thought that maybe I should do something new. Play videogames, play an instrument perhaps. I did try all those things but it was weird.

I am so good at mathematics. I can impress people without even trying. I impressed people all my life without even trying. But now with these new things I always felt so fucking mediocre. I can't be the best at playing the fucking piano. The quick reward I had been used to for all my life simply was there. I was addicted to recognition. Not only that, I was addicted to quick recognition. I can't anything now because math is all know right. Math is the only thing that can fill that hole my whore mother fucking drilled in my heart.

So that is what I do. I am able to mix it up. Cocaine, shitposting and anime. At least there is no price for who can take more drugs so I can do them without expecting recognition. The same with anime and shitposting. But I have to pay the bills. I have department administrator cock to suck to keep my position. I have a fucking quota to fill. So that is why I do math. A cocaine addiction ain't fucking cheap after all, so I guess I have no option but to keep doing math. At least I am good at it. At least I can do it without thinking.

File: wallhaven-42728.jpg (104KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

104KB, 1920x1080px

>>9079665
I'm just a filthy engineer, and pic related

>>9079665
Nice thread, great reddit spacing.
Upvoted.

>>9079665
I have delusions about transhumanism. It keeps me motivated.

>>9079720

well nice short story bros