>tfw no one will ever understand your job no matter how

>>8586893
I don't know, man. Programmer is a very simple job to expain.

I do the typey typey. The screen does the rendey rendey.

>>8586893
What the fuck is that person's job?

>>8586910
Actuary

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>I concatenate diverse statistical information and maximizes the potential utilization of data.

>tfw I grew up to be Kelso's dad

>>8586930
how hard were them tests

>>8586893
I turn tricks on street corners for minimum wage

>>8586893
I make sure lumps of metal don't suddenly fall apart in 20 years

I play in mud and look for shells, and then I take pictures of what I find and scribble on the pictures using a computer

I sit at the computer all day and do some calculations that are interesting but really aren't of any use to me, because I don't know what calculations I should be doing.

I jerk off punks under the brooklyn bridge for $15 a man

>>8586996
>>8586950
How's engineering?

>>8586996
you only jerk off punks, kek, is that like some outreach programs

>>8586945
>CIA Data Analyst
me too

>>8586910
Obgyn doctor. Delivering babies. Sometimes pregnant women have their placentas (temporary organ that sustains the baby and then comes out after) ground up and put in capsules because of muh alternative medicine

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i come in around 8:30 in the morning and spend the first 20 minutes brewing coffee in my office. Then i drink coffee and read the news till around 10 am. I answer some emails and make some phone calls till around 11ish then i take a 2 hour lunch where i often go home and fuck my wife and take a nap. from 1 to 3 pm i do any actual work which consists of excel spreadsheets and driving by vendors to pick up receipts. the last hour or so of the day i spend working on personal projects in CAD or researching them on the internet. for this i get paid 85k$ a year with a good benefits package.

>>8587009
>outreach

>>8586893
I brainwash an army of adolescent athletes into following my arbitrary sociology. We then go around to other publicly funded child-athlete guilds and engage them in a variety of sports ranging from pugilism to football.

Pro-tip: I'm not a teacher

Good luck figuring THAT one out, assholes.

>>8587429
have you ever thrown a wrench at one of your students

>>8586893
If you think about it, it's actually one of the greatest achievements of mankind.

>>8586945
>admin on a neoanarchist georgian pottery imageboard

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>>8587818
W-what? No!

That doesn't sound a little ridiculous to you?

[nospoilersonsci]What's this a reference to again?[/nospoilersonsci}

>>8586893
I stand up in a room full of half-asleep people, rub processed rock on wood, and make them rub processed rock on wood. Once in a while I make part of them very angry or sad, and the other half relieved and happy.

In my other job I command machine to tell me how well is company's commands responding to commands you command it to make commanding machines in company's way easier.

>>8587208
Livin' the dream.
Fucking government jobs, man.

>I VOTE DEM BECAUSE I CARE

>>8587208
Do tell, this sounds absolutely ideal

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>>8588673

This guy got it right >>8588638.

I'm an engineer, but my official title is Facility Operations Manager. Essentially a glorified maintenance guy. To be fair, this place was a mess when I first showed up. Took me 2 years of actual work to get things running to the point where i can fuck off most of the day.

>>8587429
>Not a teacher
So you're a sports coach for children?

>guilds
>pugilism
I love your use of traditional language

>>8588693
>Facility Operations Manager
I'm glad to learn that I'm on the right track, this is exactly where I'm headed. Sorry to ask this but do you think a graduate degree is essential? I already have a job assisting one of you guys, but I'm basically just a CAD/Sim monkey right now.

I pay money to work for imaginary rewards.

>>8588706
>Sorry to ask this but do you think a graduate degree is essential?

essential? no, but its good justification for asking for 20k$ more a year and some higher level positions (at least government ones) would like for you to have a masters.

i thought about getting one so i could be more competitive for a GS-13 position, but i really don't want to have bust my ass to dig out another comfy zone someplace new. i'm at that sweet spot zone of responsibility where i don't do bitch work, but i'm not responsible if the whole place burns down.

>>8588737
>sweet spot of responsibility
that sounds beautiful, thanks for humoring my question.

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I stare at the night sky

>>8587002
FUCK

I get paid 1300€/month to study


let's see how many american can grasp the concept of being paid to study.

>>8590142
u a Viking of the pig variant?

>>8590146
Nope, French (although with some viking blood)

>>8587429
obviously a politician

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I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

>>8586893
I take dead animal flesh, freeze it, grind it with different salt based seasoning flavors and chemicals, then stuff it into other dead animals flesh.

>>8586956
Are you a welding/mechanical engineer or a welding technician?

>>8586893
I smear graphite on processed trees and calcium carbonate on pieces of slate in a way such that people tell me my smears are profound.

>>8590985
Fucking artists get the fuck out of my board REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>8586996
Police officer detected

>>8587429
do you work at the YMCA?

>>8587002
10/10 reply

>>8588051
The movie Dodgeball. 5 time ADAA All-Star Coach Patches O'hulihan teaches them to dodge balls by throwing wrenches at them. "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!"

GOAT 2000s comedy movie, you should seriously watch it if you haven't seen it.

>>8590142
>Amerifat
>paid $2,200 a month to study

Step up your game

>>8591128
How? Why? Do you like it?

>>8591194
Go to an elite, private, university, with full funding. It's pretty comfy.

>>8591211
oh, so you have a scholarship at a top university.

welp, that rules me out, afraid I'm not nearly smart enough for that