What's the best psychological method to deal with fear of

>>8125840

I'd wager that the only way is to slowly force yourself into the situations where your fear of abandonment appears and then live through them rather than pulling back

only by continuously exposing yourself to these situations and finding that you do not get abandoned you'll change your innate emotional response and way of thinking

at least, that's one of the basic principles of cognitive behavioural therapy, that you have false, exaggerated or unreal cognitions, which we challenge/ease into

as for
> I mean, I suppose it's something you develop when your mother transmits you lots of insecurity during your first years of life, and that will transform into general anxiety disorder, low self-esteem, depression and other illnesses.

one shouldn't exaggerate the importance of early attachment/childhood experiences too much - while attachment theory is pretty valid and all, the psychodynamic freudian stuff isn't too spot on

obviously the importance of early experience differs between theory, but cognitive behavioural therapy for example doesn't put that much value in the supposed experience that birthed a problem

>>8125840
>psyc
>>>/x/

Therapy

>>8126090
The behavior is reinforced when your mother abandoned you and the women in your life that you date do the same.

stop caring about other people you bitch

Killing yourself. Nothing worked for my fear of abandonment until I tried this

>>8126090
>>8126311
Those are both valid answers, though even if you try a behaviourist approach with conditioning and so on, I don't think that I'd solve the problem at the core. I mean, I would desensibilize myself a bit, but I don't think it's the most efficient way to deal with this kind of problem.
I've been auto-analyzing my mind and I've been in therapy for 3 years, but nothing changed.
I don't know what else psychology could do, and I don't really want to take any medicine, because that's not the answer.
There must be a method to deal with this, I mean, scientific psychology exists since 1879, we're in 2016, I'm not the first person trying to find an answer to that question.

>>8126311
I forgot to say that I'm not interested in women actually. Maybe that's a key component of the problem, who knows.

>>8125840
Cognitive behavioral therapy. You can easily practice it on yourself given enough knowledge.

>>8126870
I've tried. I mean, I've studied psychology in high school and I know how cognitive behavioral therapy works, but I don't think it would suffice. If you think about it, I would simply train my mind to respond differently to certain situations, but the event that gave birth to the problem would still be there, untouched, ready to take another form through associations, and I think I would just develop other disorders.
It might work, but the chances are low.
(I'm sorry for my grammar\technical terms, english is not my first language)

>>8126878
>>8126870
My issue with CBT is it attempts to override a lifetime of ingrained responses through the exact kind of repetition that caused the behaviour to be learned in the first place.

The statistics are overridingly against you.

>>8126934
I agree.
This is so frustrating.

>>8125840
I usually have a nihilistic approach to everything stressful.

Will crying make it better?
Will being depressed make it better?
Will getting angry make it better?
No, unless you are trying to manipulate someone.

Not trying to be edgy either. If I come home to a messy house I get stressed as hell.

>>8126958
Everyone has his method to approach stressful situations, I prefer being rational than simply "nihilistic", and believe me, I truly analyze reality with pure logic, but pain just doesn't go away.
It has roots so deep inside my memories that became a core mechanism of my mind, of my own person, and it's really debilitating.
The thing is, if you want to heal a psychological wound you have to open yourself to the sorrow, and that's exactly what I've done. I've analyzed myself, I found out why it happens that I have these disorders, I took the trauma at the core with my hands and I've tried to "neutralize" it by evolving my point of view.
Nothing.
Every time that I have to say goodbye to someone (or something) I feel like I'm never going to see them again and I suffer terribly.
I suffer terribly for almost every person I've left during my life, and it's just crazy.
Depression, anxiety, psychosomatics, insomnia, all of these things are truly ruining my life, and it seems like I can't find any answer ANYWHERE.
I've read psychology books, neuropsychology books, biology, sociology, philosophy, anthropology, and just nothing.
No answer.
As far as I've learned, it's a kind of pathos that afflicted men since always, and even now that we have a scientific approach to mind's health issues, we can't still find a solution that isn't taking lots of medicines.
Sorry for the long text.

>>8126987
Can't relate then.
Bad things have happened in my life sure (ei poor, no father, whatever) but I've been content with my life since my first memory.

There's no secret to quit smoking, you just do it.

If you can't handle it yourself, see a therapist or make a friend/SO.

>>8126987

>The thing is, if you want to heal a psychological wound you have to open yourself to the sorrow, and that's exactly what I've done.
Sounding a little pretentious. Admitting you have a problem, but acting like you already know everything.

Like a stereotypical woman. It's not about the nail. You just want someone to listen to you complain and agree with how terrible your life is and how undeserving you are of the pain. Tell you you are smart and are doing your best.
See a therapist. They specialize in listening.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg

>>8127001
>>8127012
As I said previously, I've been under a therapist for 3 years (and more). It's not like I'm here because I want to complain about my life or anything, I'm just telling that I know why I have what I have thanks to a lot of introspection and I'm trying to find the most efficient psychology method to deal with these disorder. I don't see why you should react like that, I'm just saying that if you want to deal with an issue you have to accept it, that's what I meant with "open yourself to the sorrow".
It's part of the healing process, in psychology.
Though, I couldn't find any relief in therapy or introspection, this is why I'm asking in this thread if there's any alternative method to deal with these particular issues.

>>8127031
Were they giving you pills?

>>8127031
I would ask this to your therapist (assuming PhD/experience and training in depression/anxiety). Any methods mentioned on 4chan will either be cut-throat like the nihilism/get-over-it mentioned earlier, or advice from someone else's therapist.

>>8127041
Yes, paroxetine and benzodiazepines
>>8127047
She can't give me any answer apparently, and I couldn't find any answer on textbooks too. 4chan was my last hope, and it's a sad thing to say

>>8127119
Might as well go to your nearest Buddhist or zen place.

>>8127149
Unfortunately my country is the most catholic place in the world, and finding serious buddhist\zen places is almost impossible.
Not to mention that I live in a remote place of this country.
All I have is internet, books, a few friends and my therapist., this is why I'm trying to do this on my own.

>>8127161
Okay then, torrent Alan Watts.

>>8127172
I will, thank you!