>in philosophy class >teacher makes us watch a new age

>>7723303
Things that never happened.

>>7723307
True. Anon would have never spoke up he's far too beta.

>in science class
>group of people talking
>one girl says she keeps hearing about quantum entanglement on the news and wants someone to explain it
>one guy in her group says "ok imagine you have two balls in a box, one red and one blue. You give the box a good shake and take out one ball and give it to Alice and the other one to bob. Neither Alice nor Bob are allowed to look at the color of their ball until they are light years apart. Now when Alice or Bob look at their ball they instantaneously know the color of the other person's ball."
>I decided to join in.
> "Actually what you're describing is called a local hidden variable theory and is prohibited by bell's theor--"
>girl cuts me off
>"uhhhhh why are you even talking to me? I don't even know you"
>everybody in the class starts laughing

why is the world so cruel /sci/

>>7723303
>>7723318
It's your own fault for not being attractive enough you stupid idiots.

>>7723322
This is true, classic ugly person mistake.

>>7723322
I don't actually look like a green amphibian irl you fucking idiot. I'm 7/10 but never had a gf because girls are intimidated by my intelligence.

>>7723325
>I don't actually look like a green amphibian
FFPSFUCKING NORMAL FAAAAAG GET THE FUCK OUT REEEEEEEEEEE

>>7723303
Serves you right for allowing this system of mandatory liberal arts bullshit to continue. You could be learning something useful instead of this hippie shit.

>reminder this kid is hailed as a genius and won $250,000 and a bunch of free ride scholarships to ivy league schools with this vid where he reduces the counterintuitive effects of time dilation down to basic biology

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYv5GsXEf1o

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>>7723303
>"What the Bleep Do We Know!?"
Already cringing.
Why are you taking a Philosophy class?

Uncertainty exists *because* operating on a quantum system changes its state, dumdum.

>>7723339
There's nothing wrong with philosophy. I'm a junior philosopical consultant for a fortune 500 company and make $200k a year

>>7723343
Nope.

>>7723345
You working for your rich daddy does not mean your degree is good.

Imagine if someone without rich parents were to study philosophy? That person would have already starved to death.

>>7723356

Uhhh yeah actually. If you're going to be pedantic and say it's because operators don't commute, the physical outcome of noncommutivity is that changing from one basis to another constitutes a real change in the quantum system.

>>7723365
I grew up in an orphanage.

>>7723368
Then some CEOs of fucking big companies must have also been orphans for you to get that kind of connections. 200k for doing literally no real work at all. Crazy shit right there.

>>7723370
I don't think you understand what exactly my work entails.

>>7723367
Nope.

>>7723303
This didn't happen
Unless your 10, then I believe it happened

>>7723379

Okay dude whatever you say

>>7723374
enlighten us

>>7723393
Yup.

>>7723303
underage b&

philosophy class at university doesn't show videos, especially about pseudoscience such as "muh quantum consciousness"

in b4 >18 year old senior btw

reported

>>7723368
I grew up in a 10 million dollar house.
What's the difference? Didn't think so.

>>7723434
>announcing reports
You are literally more likely to get banned that way than being underage.

>>7723303
His behavior only works because he has a group to jump on his side, even though he's demonstrably incorrect. He knows he can do a certain set of actions to return a high chance of being bailed out of social shame for his mistakes.

tl;dr, catch him when he's alone and beat him up. Obviously you just want to physically damage and frighten him, not leave him a gurgling mess all broken and crumpled up on the ground that'll never be right again. But then again, it happens.

It's the only way to save him.

>>7723854
this anon. its your only hope of redeeming urself desu senpai

>>7724013
He has already brought shame to his famiry.
The only way he can assure a peacefur rest for his ancestors, is to commit an hero-kiri.

>>7723303
My mom made me watch this when I was in high school and she went crazy. I have nothing against people getting spiritual, but when they use pseudoscience to "prove" their bs claims it makes me want to an hero.

>>7723422
KEEP ME POSTED ON THIS MIRACLE JOB

>>7723303
i study physics in uni and i fucking love my philosophy course . shit like you said OP never happens in reality around an actual professor .

and they teach us things like epistemology and actual philosophy and not popsci bullshit

>>7723345
>philosopical consultant
is that a thing ?
what do you do ?

>>7723324
Ugly person here, can confirm

>>7723345
>philosopical consultant
what the heck

>>7724092
consult philosophically

>>7723303
I watched what the bleep in high school and while I did believe some of it because I was young and stupid, I got inspired enough to research the topics and got extremely interested in physics because of it. If I hadn't watched that movie, I would have probably never had that spark. Life is not about thinking how dumb other people are, it's about learning.

>>7723325
>never had a gf because girls are intimidated by my intelligence.

you are like the definition of what everyone thinks they are on this website, youre like the real live memer, atleast you can be happy about that pfhhhhheheheeeee

>>7723325
>girls are intimidated by my intelligence
they are intimidated by your shit personality and arrogance you twat

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>in kanji class
>popular girl asks question about splitting water for clean energy
>suddenly students from cooking class rush in with knives for cutting
>i immediately recognize a threat and frog-jump onto my desk with kunai between each finger
>me: "Water splitting is currently in its early stages, and the efficiency is too low to be of much use yet."
>girl starts laughing because the spaghetti in my pockets got squished and leaked out as i squatted down into a crouching tiger stance, dripping meat sauce down into a small puddle below my anus
>class is laughing now
>me: "The goal would be to use solar energy to split the water, and currently perovskite solar cells are sho-"
>no one is listening and the knife wielding students are approaching cute-chan, wiping tears of mirth from their eyes
>i lunge explosively at the students, but the spaghetti sauce had pooled around my feet, so i slipped spectacularly and landed ontop of another girl
>luckily i had my sakura body-pillow on hand to cushion her and break my fall
>everybody in the class is still laughing

why is the world so curl /sci/?

>>7724771
haha oh fuck so you just say what people want to hear but instead of being a schools psych youre a personal depression sponge for a big company when the higherups cant handle reality

>>7723318
Wait, can you explain how this is prohibited? I always thought this was the right way to think about entanglement, so it wasn't "hurr durr spooki action".

I would've been that guy in her group :(

>>7724896
imagine having two boxes, each holding an entangled dice, alice takes one box while shaking it furiously and bob takes the other box while shaking it furiously and walk until they are 100 lightyears away from each other

once alice or bob stops rolling the dice and take a peek they instantly know what the other person's dice is despite information not being able to travel faster than light

Now Einstein thought when the dice were entangled some hidden function was created that says if dice A rolls a 1, dice B must roll a 6, when dice A rolls a 2 dice B must roll a 5, etc etc. This is the local hidden variable theory. This is the intuitive but wrong explanation.

Now we know that is wrong. They are completely random.

>>7723303
Having a nerd voice is suffering, I feel you bro.

>>7725000
None of that happened though

>philosophy class
>watching "what the bleep do we know"
>cool shit about quantum mechanics
>heard about this stuff a bit before
>girl in my class asks for explanation
>I reply explaining how light's interactions change momentum, hence the uncertainty principle
>she seems satisfied
>oh shit, it's that one autistic kid
>no idea why he's in this class, he always wears a fedora for some reason and he's mentally disabled
>spews shit trying to act like a smartass
>I replicate his retarded speech
>"AYYYYYYKCHOLLYY"
>while everyone else is laughing and having a good time, he makes disturbing muffled groans
>mutters something about fort chan
>has a mental breakdown
>storms out of the room throwing a tantrum trying to say something about a funny frog meme, still angry and crying

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>>7723325

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>>7723318

Couldn`t you just say that she is retarded whore and just laugh along at how retarded everyone around you are? I could always get away with insulting and bullying others but I guess being handsome helps a lot. If you`re just a worthless smeagol I think you should keep a low profile