I feel obligated to tell you all the story of Fred. >late

File: y3BSkUu.jpg (118KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

118KB, 1280x720px

I feel obligated to tell you all the story of Fred.

>late at night at computer
>bored, surfing the internet
>cockroach shows up from behind monitor
>little did I know this was the ballsiest motherfucking cockroach on the planet
>tried to freeze it with compressed air, succeeded
>little shit recovered in less than a minute
>nothing fazes this guy, not freezing, not interaction, the only time he would run away was when he was physically hurt
>climbed around everywhere with a slow walk, chill as fuck
>grabbed the flyswatter, smacked him a few times but he still got away
>didn't want to cause too much noise, 2 in the morning
>surf internet for a while, no sign of Fred
>go to piss
>there's Fred, hanging out right on the floor
>doesn't run away from light like other bitch roaches do
>get fed up with this chase, laid down the biggest smack I could with the flyswatter
>Fred gets launched 5 inches into the air from the impact, landed on his back, didn't move anymore
>go to sleep

It was only after this that I realized that Fred acted almost exactly as a human turned into a cockroach would act, and he might have been seeking help.

>tomorrow morning
>wake up, go to piss
>see Fred still there
>starting to feel remorse for the little guy
>grab toilet paper to flush him
>as soon as the paper touched him his legs started spazzing out
>fucker was still clinging onto life
>multiple broken legs, couldn't walk, this guy wasn't gonna last long
>through a combination of remorse and respect for just how tenacious this guy was, I decide to give him a feast of bread dipped in sugar water before ending his misery
>position him so his mouth could reach the food, leave him for a few hours
>come back later, he's eaten a little, doesn't have much strength left
>moved Fred into a water bottle, used my compressed air to displace all the oxygen, close lid tight
>Fred's leg twitches a few times, then stops moving entirely
>Wherever you are now, you will always be a legend in my heart, Fred.