post ITT if ur planning on dying in ur sleep tonight i will

>>5041207
Painlessly plz. In my next life I want to be reborn as a meme

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>>5041228
ok i have multiple options
there's shotgun to the head, lethal injection, heroin OD, alcohol poisoning...
determine which one will be least painful for you

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>>5041207
Help me and end this misery

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>>5041236
why do you want to die tonight, anon?

>>5041243
Parents forced me to do a degree I hate, I can't resign because of money that they already put into my college education, got presentation tomorrow and I bet my antisocial autism gonna hit maximum level. So yeah there's plenty reason why I wanna die tonight. Unfortunately I can't get shotgun easily in my country. Was thinking about sleep pills and alcohol

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>>5041263
real talk, couldnt you just switch majors to something you'd like better?

but if you're really set on seppuku, sleeping pills and alcohol would probably do you in.

>>5041295
>sleeping pills and alcohol would probably do you in.
all a part of the college experience (ha!)

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>>5041301
you forgot to throw in some weed and acid and adderall if you're going for that authentic college experience

>>5041295
I would love to switch but as I said parents have spent so much money on my education (not only college, I needed help in primary school and high school too because I am kinda retarded)already that I have some kind of moral blockade that doesn't let me start over again another degree.

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>>5041309
it is sad. media has taught me these things by exaggerating but they really aren't very far off. nowadays i see college students joking about it amongst themselves. very similar to white guilt. idk what to make of it.

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>>5041318
dude if you really hate it that much just man up and switch
or drop out
who cares what your parents think, it it makes you want to die you shouldnt be following that shit mang

>>5041331
>go to college
>all of my time there consisted of getting drunk, smoking weed, and using adderall
lmao one of the few things the media is remotely right about

i enjoyed it tbh but then again i have a passion for drugs
tho literally everyone i met had done some shit, there was no one who was pure at all
just go with it fam

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>>5041340
The course is interesting but I just don't feel it, I don't see how I will use it in the future. If I fuck up this year finals I switch thank you dumb bearposter I will postpone my suicide for next week. For this time I will keep talking myslef that everything is fine and you my bear friend keep posting those bears.

>>5041207
Shut up and post more bears

Your fortune: Bad Luck

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>>5041357
you shouldnt even think about killing yourself, especially for something you can change.
if shit really gets fucked, like i said just drop it or go for another major
might be pretty shitty having to do that but it's better than being in a class you hate/are fed up with/dislike for whatever reason
pls postpone suicide forever meng

as for the bears i will make sure to keep postinge them

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>>5041207
what a helpful, nice person :^)

>>5041228
good choice

>>5041232
FYI, pain nerves dont actuate upon depression, only release. its why if u fall asleep on ur arm u dont realize except until u move arm again and it stingy tinglies! whatefer maeks so press all nerve pain keys at once, in a row without repeats is 0 pain and yes i hafe tested this lole. :^)

but if u come backe alife again anywhys rly hruts tho :^(

>>5041369
>pls postpone suicide forever meng

thats kiddy logic

"im never gonna go ppoop!"

adnd u in ur pnats lole is wut happens everywun gotta go sumtiems, and it fels rly relief after same as potty or sex lole. :^)

thx for listenin my post i hoep it maek u can reconsider everythink if u choose to lole.

lole. .

>>5041366 dubs nice
yeah like wtf is this like a thred for /co/mblr rejects!?!?
post some chloe porn or gtfo MY that's right MY beautiful [s4s]

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>>5041387
suicide is a choice tho
unlike pooping, which isnt a choice and you pretty much have to do it sooner or later

>>5041396
rude???
OLD esforce didnt have so much lewdness

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>>5041406
u can choose not to poop

if just kill urself lole, after a little bit, itll stop i promise. :^)

>>5041406
Think of it like this: every week, you have a choice. Your choice is to kill yourself, or to poop. Maybe you can go a bit more than a week without pooping, or maybe you can't go that long. Whatever, it doesn't really matter. Let's just say it's a week, since I think that's about the upper limit for a normal person who is consciously trying.

Now, those who choose to poop are those who choose not to kill themselves. The longer you stay alive, the greater (in general) your chances of reproduction. Therefore, you are descended from a long, long like of ancestors who (statistically) chose to poop instead of killing themselves many, many times. Humanity has, as it struggled out of the primordial soup, self-selected to choose "poop" over "suicide".

And yet... what is "humanity"? Our hairless bodies made us cold, so we tamed fire. Our eyes are weak, so we invented cameras. Our bodies are soft and work best at a pressure of about one standard atmosphere, so we gird ourselves in steel and kevlar and laugh at the black void of outer space. To be human is to be impatient and irritated with the way things have always been, to take up arms against the sea of troubles.

So this week, are you going to poop, or are you going to kill yourself?

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>>5041507
nice

i rly lieked the part wher u used the language to make the words that r represenatife of mutual exclusive possible scenarios as befits a statistical mode of consciousness that puts the person at t he seat of their own power. very good for read, rly rly rly liek ur poste. :^)