1.sup: “I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”
my longest yes boy ever
>>5035801
Dude thats nothing. I was swimming with sharks during my summer break, and he bit my leg off, my friend was like, dude that must hurt and I was laughing and shit. Then he took another bite and got my left hand clean off, my friend was like dude you're left handed, this is terrible, I just kept laughing harder because I'm so strong. The blood was spraying now, and really starting to attract a lot more sharks, my mate is like, hey I see like 10 more fins coming towards you, get out of the water! I laughed and laughed, then I was pulled under and my friend could still hear me laughing until they got my neck and it became muffled gurgles underwater. Classic sharks, easily the funniest day of the summer, almost as good as the time I went hunting for wolverines.
>>5035801
walruse
>>5035801
walruse