It's green text time Be me 45 years old pretending that

>>4990325
> green text thread
> OP does not use green text
> OP gets dubs
> I stay virgin forever
> OP is grindr-brand fig so he gets tons of bepis
> I post this to his thread
> Bumped
> I am self destructive to my happyness and sex life
> /r9k/
> you go back to r/incels and you stay
> but anon, what's the difference between the two
> there is no difference, but one of them thinks he's better cause at least he doesn't use (leddit/4chinz)
> tfw this green text is horribly off track
> keep on trucking
> OP licks giant bepis
> Not girl bepis
> shit, OP is gayer than before
> i injected a maryjewanna and it made me GAYER
> tfw still a virgin
> maeks u cri evritiem
> what if peoples crotch and nose switched places every other day
> you would have to smell your own asshole half of the time of existence
> probably would suffocate too, if the lungs and sex organs switched
> also get arrested for indecent exposure
> penis oil
> penis OIL
> PENIS oil
> PENIS OIL
> PPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSS OOOOOOOOIIIIIIIILLLLLL
> succ my thicc dicc

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>You and your friend enter a bar
>Music is loud and atmosphere is heavy
>You walk up to the bar and both order drinks
>You and your friend chat for a bit and you notice that there are two girls across the bar that are looking at you and your friend
>You tell him this and he notices too, one of the girls whispers in her partners ear and she gets up from the bar and starts to walk toward the dance floor
>your friend also gets up and tells you he is going to “try to get lucky” with a stupid grin on his face
>he gets up and leaves
>you turn back to the bar to only to notice that the other girl is missing from her seat where she was only a moment before
>looking around you to try to find her until you are startled by someone throwing themselves into the seat beside you at the bar
>you look over only to come face to face with the girl who was just sitting across from you
>now that she was closer, you could instantly tell that she was not human
>she was a android
>she had a human face but completely robotic body with a red and blue police paint job
>on her head she had two fairly thick antenna, and had her green hair tied off in two pigtails
>“evenin’ officer, what do I owe this pleasure?” you say sarcastically
>she laughs and says back in jokingly formal tone ”Nothing civilian. Just ensuring that everyone is enjoying the festivities.”
>As the night progresses you find out more and more about her, like; how just a few days ago she was able to pay off her manufacturing cost and tax and now is mostly free
>and to celebrate this she and her friend are spending the night partying
>you and her talk of a while longer but something seems off
>it was something about her body
>you couldn’t quite put your finger on it
>things were not moving like they should on a normal android frame
>your heart skips a beat when you finally realize it
>she has synthetics

>>4990325
>Text.

>>4990325
Nice meme

>>4991051
>>4991910
>>4991913
Who are you quoting? :^/

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

>>4991920
>who
>qouting
>you
>are

Sayin these things can get you baned from the gene pool

>>4991927
Oh dear. But, um, who are you quoting? :^(

Your fortune: Godly Luck

>>4991935
>dear
>quoting
My lewd greentext I made a few days ago

>>4991939
Oh okay.

>BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

>snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?......sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

>BBBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPFFFFFF

>Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

>BBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

>Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffffff…and yet…so strong…yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnnnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnnnnniiiifffffffffffffffffffffff….yes….

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>be me
>have sex
>its pretty good but my friends laughed at my penis and hit me with sticks in elementary school because they thought i was gay and i still had a little anxiety about everything
>as time goes on i learn to conquer those feelings and become a healthier person
>poster on the nice board makes fun of troubled r9k virgins
>i understand his point but also sympathize with their pain
>i start typing this post
>CAPTCHA time
>mfw

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>>4991051
This