i want to feel the life pulse out from my wounds in rhythm with my waning heartbeat. i want to feel my head go light as my enemies turn to looming shadows as i lose my vision. i want to be a desperate little worm clawing at the pools of my own blood urging it to rush back into me. i want to feel the absolute domination when that knife begins to carve a detour for my windpipe. i want to feel every inch of my skin tighten with fear to the point it splits and sheds from the terror. i want to be fed drugs to keep me conscious long as possible while the pathetic ordeal takes place. i dont want a grave, i want to be food for the scavengers.
I just get high and pretend things and people I don't like don't exist.
It sucks being actually funny and intelligent around a bunch of pretenders
>>4988827
why dont you die laughing and asphyxiating to death from one of your own jokes?
>>4988843
I tried but it was counter intuitive to living so I stopped
>>4988860
Posting this from the afterlife to tell you dw, it's okay, just let it go.
>>4988827
I just get high and focus on things that I enjoy, I don't necessarily use it to consciously block things out, although I suppose it does have that effect. But not really. Reality will intrude on my highs whether I like it or not. There is really no escape from it. Weed just helps me to rationalize existence for the most part
>>4988961
I'm about to smoke, normally I get pangs of anxiety then slowly I exhale and shit that once bothered me starts to amuse me