Time to write something clever hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

My psychiatrist told me to take half of the abilify in the morning and then another half in the night time. We will see if my juices will start flowing tonight.

>>4946633
>33
At least you got dubs

>>4946636
But I need help, mental encouragement. Help me?

Today I thought about some anime that I watched. Now, I am a complete novice when it comes to a lot of anime, but I have watched a good amount of anime to still say that Death Note is better than a lo of anime out there. Death Note hits upon a lot of themes in the human condition: eccentricity, genius, power, justice, gods, Christianity, hell and the afterlife, meta-thinking, awareness-levels, etc. The ending of death note, especially when L dies and when Light dies particularly strikes the faculties of imagination (intuition) and makes you consider whether or not humans can ever attain that level of intuition that L and Light Yagami had, and whether [s4s] can actually help one achieve this kind of state. For [s4s] teaches you to just be, to just do, to just think and to use the unconscious in order to apprehend the world as it could be, making reality your bitch essentially. Typing just to type is good sometimes. A lot of people are self-conscious these days, but no one here judges you, and I think people forget that.

File: 1480441652151.gif (873KB, 500x475px) Image search: [Google]

873KB, 500x475px

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2LQdh42neg
My mental illness makes me more unconstrained, perhaps pretentious yes, but still unconditioned. It's important to not be the guy who acts unconditioned or unhinged just for the sake of acting so. It's weird to be forced to take in thoughts that are not your own sometimes. Strange to live that way, and it is quite perturbing that medication, something so small can control the reality of Descartes' mind. Mind-body starts to become more interesting.

I think Spinoza was right when he said that mind and body (or as he put it extension and thought) are just attributes of the same fundamental substance, and these two attributes create all of the modes that we see today. What is the internet anyway? And do we all just start having Lynchian dreams once we access the unconscious mind which [s4s] helps you do?

It's odd to think that we're just here right now, wtf is going on? is that such a pretentious question to ask? why is philosophy considered so pontificating? is it because the questions and the activity does not yield any tangible results? Why does that matter anyway? I want to sound deeper but I can't, I want to ask more fundamental questions so I have to ask simple ones to get there I think. Ah, there's the method. I think most people are afraid of their minds. When we hit the singularity everyone will essentially become one single Spinozoan mind and perhaps will actually superficially come to emulate Spinoza's rational God. But I think the mind scares people. Imagine being stuck in your mind for millions of years. But that's what philosophy and mathematics kind of is. It's so pure, and it was the first things that the greeks uncovered essentially: philosophy and mathematics. So fucking pure. Plebs will never understand, but perhaps I shouldn't say that. Arrogance. Man how important virtue is, but it's so hard too because sometimes you want to be mean to be spontaneous.

>>4946671
it's because philosophy applies to manmade constructs (society, institutions, spiritual beliefs, etc.) there is no deeper level to philosophy, it can't reveal anything profound because it only exists above the surface. and yes most people are afraid of their minds, which is evidenced by peoples' inability to sit in silence. in silence you are faced with the truth of yourself and many people can't handle this. math is also ridiculous because it's not even a concrete set of rules. i think you're searching for something because as a human it's in your DNA to want something else. there's some impulse ingrained deep in yout that simply says "This is not good enough." You have to learn to ignore that voice.

Anthony Jeselnik. It brings me comfort that no one is forced to read these thoughts, we still have freedom of will. But I like being bored sometimes, yet the medication also restrains my ability to read what I want to. It's like wanting to stretch and not having the body that corresponds to the desire and appetite to stretch: your body is too small for the amount of stretching you want to do. You kind of want to be elastic girl but you can't. Man she's hot. Kant was interesting btw. It's interesting that Kant created this systematic language that the German idealists then turned into a spiritual language. Kant is just out there on the apex of the mountain of philosophy claustrophobically and autistically creating his own language, and then Fichte, Hegel, and Schelling come along and get Kant's language to rub out a fire. Inspiration is important. This work is obviously uninspiring, but it's important to do "creative" work when inspired. You can't be creative if you're uninspired. So how does one get inspired? one strives to be more sensitive to everything. Get connected with people, nature, animals, and everything in your immediate perception. Try new things, experience psychedelics at least once. Read a lot. Think a lot and walk a lot. And think about how cool love is when you see it, when you see people talking.

Start by observing everything in life: really, go outside and walk like I've said, stare at someone (but don't be a creep like me), talk to them, look at the sky and ground, the plants, attend a lecture and consider the professors facial expressions and body language, try to read them as deeply as possible, whop someone responded to me, better stop typing this thought. Ok... what did he say?

>>4946678
That's kind of what Kant said. That we humans are constrained by the a prori forms of intuition like space and time and that the pure concepts of the understanding are only applicable if they find a schematized format (space-time) wherein they can be applied, but of themselves they are empty. So in a sense, we can't ever find the thing-in-itself, that is, the thing beyond the concepts and forms of sensibility that we use to apprehend the world. Even Wittgenstein said something similar in his early career. Kant essentially said concepts without intuitions are empty and that intuitions without concepts are blind. But these intuitions must be constrained within space and time in order for the concepts to make any sense. So there is a framework of experience that we are working with, indeed, and there is a pure metaphysics that we want to do, but it's important to realize that philosophy also realizes this.

>>4946693
This is why I find German Idealism fascinating btw.

I sometimes wonder if being mean or rude will make me more interesting. I'm afraid that if I'm too nice or too smooth with people that I might lose my humor. I don't want to follow Spinoza's ethics so strictly. It's so robotic sometimes. He said that it's important to be aware of your emotions and when we are aware of emotions we also become aware of our place in the universe and thus recognize our place in it within the grand scheme. So free-will doesn't necessarily exist, but the power of freedom does exist. The distinction is as outlined in the aforementioned sentences. Power or freedom comes with awareness and when you are aware of yourself you are aware of God. So life is all about imitating the divine in Spinoza's system. His system is geometric and very systematic like Kant's, but more organized and simplified, like Euclid. There is a beauty in his simplicity.

I think I'm done for now

/blog my digitals and hands are getting bedraggled

I just wanted to use that word hehe

>>4946693
I've finally reached a point where the mysteries of life are not as alluring as they once were. I simply don't care how some things work anymore. I'm still seeking knowledge, but I've realized that trying to force a higher understanding is pointless, as that understanding comes when it will. I'm currently just trying to figure out if there's anything really worth doing anymore. I'm really amazing at wasting time so theoretically I could sit around and mostly enjoy my life for the next 30-50 years without really contributing anything to the human race (it's debatable whether or not posting on [s4s] is contributing to the human race (i'm pretty sure it is, but that's another discussion)). So, I dunno. It's like once you stop caring what other people think about you then you're free to do whatever you want

>>4946705
You'd like Max Stirner. Don't you want to be creative though? there's so much to do, why only shitpost? I'm only shitposting on my downtime and when my meds make me a defunct musty old fogy. Your perspective is interesting but common, I'd like to know why you chose it. Excuse the language if it sounds pretentious but this is how I speak online if I get serious about the person I'm speaking with.

>>4946709
Oh, I have creative pursuits. I write music and short stories and draw and stuff. I just don't care enough to put that stuff out there. I pursue artistic endeavors for my own mental advancement. I don't really want to involve myself in the entertainment industry. Not that I'm guaranteed to be a part of it or anything, but you know what I'm saying. I don't shitpost all day, but I don't work or go to school right now so one of the only things I'm doing that's affecting the outside world is posting on 4chan. How did I choose this perspective?
When you try to see the best in the world, and the world keeps showing you its worst, it's hard to find the motivation to involve myself in it. I'm fully aware of how this sounds, defeatist, whatever. But that's not it. I'm not giving up on anything except the bullshit. It's like we live in this world with so many possibilities, but they're all within this very constrained system. I'm tired of the system, and I don't want to perpetuate it anymore.Once again, I'm aware of the cliched nature of this sentiment, but it's honestly how I feel about things.

>>4946717
That's understandable and its my perspective too. I actually wrote my college application with the same exact feelings to a college that was all about improving humanity. It was less amative than I'd like it to be but what ever. It's interesting that you talk about the system because that's what they also asked in their essay questions. It's important to also contribute though I think. Creativity without sharing is like cooking without anyone trying your food. It's just weird to think about and I'd rather not. I like the masonic quote:

In modern times, it is used in Freemasonry. In masonic lectures it is explained as a symbol of industry and co-operation,[32] and as cautioning against intellectual laziness, warning that "he that will so demean himself as not to be endeavoring to add to the common stock of knowledge and understanding, may be deemed a drone in the hive of nature, a useless member of society, and unworthy of our protection as Masons."

Bullshit is rampant, but this is why you should read The Ego and Its own by Max Stirner and not let ideas like "it's all bullshit" control you. It's a fixed idea and a fixed ideology in and of itself as well. You're "supposed" to take command of your concepts, not the other way around, is the gist. I think creating things is also part of creating more possibility. As a 22 year old, I've learned that life itself is an imposition and that, yes, we are thrown into this "constrained" realm of possibility but, again, this is why I like German Idealism because it's essentially a giant middle finger to Kant and his, at times, suffocating system. This is why it's important to believe in spirit, because spirit can infuse you and everything around you with life and you can essentially create new experiences and thus new possibilities with the things you create and say. Again this is why creativity is important. New music. New pieces of art. New thought-forms.

Polétaires du monde entier, unissez vous!

>>4946728
I'm afraid to translate on google. But I will

>>4946726
I basically just want to contribute in a way that means something to me. The only thing lately that seems to mean anything is helping people. I've been thinking about getting into volunteer work or something. But... that's yet another system, and I am wary.
I share my music with my friends and random people, but that's about it. It's not like i'm keeping these things away from people, it's just that I'm not really around anyone that gives a shit, you know? If anyone asked to hear my music or read my writing I would happily show it to them.
That's a good quote and I agree. It's hard to speak concretely about these things. I just don't want to contribute to "the machine." I also don't think it's ALL bullshit. Just the parts that are bullshit.
I basically don't think there is any "supposed to." We're all just making this up day by day. The only things in reality you can be sure of are right here and now, and with these brains we can't even be aware of most of what's happening right here and now. I'm just waiting for the day we get to transfer our brains to robot bodies (not really, i've thought about it and there are certain problems to that)

>>4946743
You don't hold any religious beliefs? or at least spiritual beliefs? took awhile to respond but then I figured I had nothing to add to what you said besides a few questions. Answer them at your will though, I might just keep asking questions.

>>4946751
Nope. I was raised by two parents that disliked their Christian upbringing enough to completely abandon it. I never went to a church service or prayed or said grace or anything. We still celebrated Christian holidays though.It was good in a lot of ways. It allowed me to look at reality from a different perspective. I actually believed in god briefly but it was just a side effect of a lot of being on a lot of acid and misinterpreting something that happened while tripping. At this point I think it's naive to not believe in some kind of higher force beyond our understanding, but I have no idea what that is or whether or how to discuss it in a human language

>>4946754
This post was poorly edited so apologies for the weirdly worded sentences

>>4946754
Why do you think it's naive to not believe in higher power?

>>4946758
I probably shouldn't have said "higher power.". I don't think there's a being that's consciously in control of what's happening in reality. But, I do think that there's things beyond our understanding. There's a whole universe out there and we don't really know much about it. Like, there could be something in existence that we would recognize as our idea of "God." It's just how things seem to me though. I admit I could be totally wrong about how things work

>>4946761
We hold similar beliefs about a few things, I will admit. What kind of bullshit do you get frustrated with? can you give me some surmised examples?

>>4946761
and why do you want to help people? it seems contradictory with the "bullshit" belief.

>>4946764
Hmm.. Bullshit? I don't even like to dwell on it. I'm mostly removed from it now, honestly. You seem smart enough and we think similarly so you're probably aware of the same institutional/systemic problems I am. You know what frustrates me is when I'm doing so much on my computer that it overheats and I lose a bunch of progress. Why can't modern computers keep up with me yet, it's bullshit

>>4946770
Aren't there draw boards on 4chan btw? why don't you share your stuff on there? have you ever tried to see how you felt after sharing your art?

>>4946770
I hope your post didn't get deleted that you were planning on responding with, if that's what you meant, then I'm sorry to hear that.

>>4946766
I dunno, I've been sitting here typing stuff and erasing it because it's hard to define exactly why. Mostly because I actually have a lot of hope for humans and I want them to do something with this opportunity to exist. The "bullshit" i was talking about earlier was mostly related to institutions and their shortcomings

>>4946775
No, it was like I just didn't feel like talking about the failings of the system and made a facetious remark.

>>4946772
I've shared my art on 4chan before. It's been appreciated. I've made a bunch of OC for this board too

>>4946782
I guess I don't consider 4chan as "putting it out there" for some reason. especially on this board. it seems like a small community most of the time

>>4946785
Lol yeah that makes sense, and it is. I'm gonna go though, I've been asking a lot of questions. And I'm getting tired of bothering you with my incessant questioning. While I was at the mental hospital after my psychotic break my nurses tried to get me out of my room so that I wasn't just sitting in my room reading and sulking. They got me to talk to people and it was interesting to learn that people can be just as interesting as books. This conversation definitely confirmed my insight and was a edifying instantiation of the same principle. My meds are making me sleepy, so I'm gonna go bro. Nice talking to you.

>>4946788
It's very strange, many of my close friends spent time in mental wards. Yet I somehow managed to avoid ever getting sent to one. Also, I was not at all bothered by your questioning. It was really nice to have a conversation with you. It's always a good way to help sort your thoughts out. People are often the most interesting thing of all, but unlike a book you can't open most people. Anyway, perhaps we'll meet again on these planes of funposting one day. Have a good night