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Before I got to know that lucid dreaming was a thing, I had lucid dreams. Around 5 years ago, I had a single sleep paralysis incident which kicked off a string of lucid dreams. After a week of frequent lucid dreaming, there was a girl that popped up. She was friendly, kind, adorable, and we got to know each other. I couldn't wait for sleep so I can get to see her. After a few weeks, we became close friends, and even closer a few weeks later. I still had lucidity in these dreams, and we went for walks in the park, picnics, going to the mountains for the view, dinner and eventually we were in love. The relationship we had was definitely there, and she knew I was dreaming, so both of us couldn't wait to see each other at the end of the day and spend time with each other and fall asleep in each other's arms. Whenever we slept, I would wake up in the real world. After a few more weeks, it was time and we did it in a dimly lit room. I was exhausted, sweating, and it was a fantastic experience for both of us.
I woke up exhausted, exactly in the position I slept in in the dream, naked and sweating. We clung to each other tightly, afraid to lose each other. We felt as if we were both going to break, we both knew something is wrong - be it us or something else. It was strangely scary. We spent more time doing things together, until one day I had a terrible dream. Her face was blurred with tears streaming down her face, hugging me and saying goodbye for the last time, holding my hand as she walked away into a bright light. I woke up in tears, unsure of what happened.
I never had a lucid dream since then - around 5 years ago. Whenever I dream, I always hope that she would appear. Was it a tulpa with limited abilities, I'm not sure. I've taken the tulpa explanation and thought of it as a basic one, with the only means of communication through dreams, but I'm still not sure. Every dream with her, except the last one, was so vivid.
Now I'm sad that I remembered all this.
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gud bost i read it
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Hey are you up for party? Couse party is what we have here bois hehe just kd :p
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>>4914133
>>4914142
I really really really want to snuggle with Yuuka. She's got just the right amount of chubbiness in the right places to make her really soft and cuddly. It's gotten to the point where fantasizing about it while cuddling my pillow just isn't cutting it anymore. What should I do? Make a tulpa? Try lucid dreaming? Help me out, /jp/.
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>>4914153
Idk maybe you should try drinking more water and exercising? lol smh
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>>4914170
> The fact that it took such a long time to kill, and that it actively annoyed me, rather then puppeting it, shows that it had a pretty good amount of independent thought. It did not feel right to me, nor real because it never was
I do recall a time in my tulpa's early development when while she could answer/talk by herself, it didn't feel as if she had her own agency or emotions. While I may have been unable to truly stop her, I didn't consider her independent, because she lacked some qualities that would make her a real person Note that by real, I don't mean a physical person, but a conscious person of the same nature as me, with their own perception, will, agency, desires, and so on - however the brain does it isn't terribly relevant here, but my perception of her actions is, at least to me.
> It was nothing but a scientific experiment, and it turned around and bit me in the ass. I think my situation is far more common then a "true" success.
I've seen a few cases like this, but I've also read of people who overcame them and managed to go beyond that.
In my case, there was some scientific curiosity, but my primary goal was for companionship and to have someone that feels as real to me in my mind as myself, yet which is different, thus the earlier incomplete state was not a success - it was severely undesirable. I eventually overcame it by changing my mindset, in regards to how I treat my imagination, and eventually she developed like any other person would develop - getting preferences, having her own will and agency, having natural emotional responses to whatever she encounters, a unique personality and so on.
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