>squeeze ketchup bottle >get gross watery ketchup pre-cum

File: 1499846722881.png (160KB, 400x416px) Image search: [Google]

160KB, 400x416px

>break the seal on a gallon of milk
>little plastic pieces all around the cap
>pour milk
>plastic pieces get into the cup

>>39619486
shake it first dude i get that too lol

File: 1502260703686.jpg (19KB, 500x475px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 500x475px

>not shaking your condiment bottles before using
you deserve the ketchup cum you brainlet

>>39619617
someone has been using paint tonight

File: WhenYouNeedAReactionPicButYouAlsoNeedAPicToExplainWhatYou'reTalkingAboutSoYouHaveToMakeACompositePicRealQuick.png (314KB, 394x539px) Image search: [Google]

314KB, 394x539px

>go to squeeze some ranch on my 'za
>the top plops off and drenches everything

>>39619486
>make alfredo sauce using the jar stuff
>its so thick I put a little milk in it to shake it so its thinner
>accidentally put the alfredo jar cap on the milk jug so now theres alfredo sauce all over the rim of the milk jug
>unwittingly wipe it with my scrub shirt before realizing its dirty and remembering I work at a nursing home
>now there old people germs all over the rim of the milk jug
>drink it later on anyway

File: 1504275792621.jpg (5KB, 235x215px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 235x215px

>trying to cut meat straight

>those shitty restaurant knives that rip the steak up so it doesn't cut nice and loses juices faster

>>39619486
> he doesn't shake his ketchup before using

I know a lot of people on r9k are suicidal but holy hell you make me think my life isn't so bad,

File: 1501920150496.jpg (292KB, 633x758px) Image search: [Google]

292KB, 633x758px

>Bite burger
>Everything slides out on the other side

File: 1468016989549.jpg (106KB, 601x601px) Image search: [Google]

106KB, 601x601px

>open ramen spice packet
>counter top gets lightly dusted

File: 1504228445192.png (135KB, 800x850px) Image search: [Google]

135KB, 800x850px

>open can of soda
>it sprays up onto the rim and pours out a little bit

File: wojakliquified.jpg (58KB, 601x601px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 601x601px

>peeling a tasty orange
>rogue juice droplets spray directly into eye

File: images (46).jpg (19KB, 350x420px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 350x420px

>eat French fries
>Get salt on my hands and shirt

>>39619486
>ketchup
>sandwich
It better have been a hotdog sandwich

>making eggs
>yolk breaks in pan

File: 1503886481925.png (446KB, 808x805px) Image search: [Google]

446KB, 808x805px

>>39621063
>>peeling a tasty orange
>the peel is utterly glued to the pulp
>try scratching harder to remove it
>orange starts to squirt and theres juice everywhere

>>39619565
>little plastic pieces all around the cap
That's dried milk you git.

File: qpspyp4hhl9z.jpg (48KB, 717x730px) Image search: [Google]

48KB, 717x730px

>Using sauce
Your mistake plebians
Ranch, ketchup, all that shit is disgusting

>crack egg on protein shake
>pieces of eggshell fall into

>>39619486
>ketchup on a sandwich