>wake up >feel like shit, have shakes etc >realize I

>>39599450
Nah, I've done worse and survived up to this point. I snuck alcohol at a family christmas party or something and apparently went out to sleep in the front yard.

>>39599450
no but you should move out

>>39599523
>>39599540
You guys are probably right, I'm just kinda freaking out because I have no idea what I told my parents
And right now it's impossible for me to move out, sadly

>>39599574
As long as you don't have a dad your golden anon, a mom will forgive you for anything.

>>39599618
I have a dad..
Fuck, I really hope I didn't talk bout my fetishes or anything

>>39599450
>Decide to drink a sack of goon the night before my cousins wedding
>Scull a whole bunch
>Suddenly it's light out and I'm lying on the couch in my underwear
>ohfuck.jpg
>Family starts giving me shit for being a lightweight
>Go to wedding hungover with people I don't remember ever meeting giving me shit about how fucked I was
>Mother says she hopes I don't drink like that normally and leaves it at that
You'll be fine moi8

>My mom

Fucking child.

>>39599824
That sounds awful, I hope you'll be alright.
>>39599844
Yeah, I'm 18. Still in that phase where I have no idea what the fuck I should do with my life.
Often I call her by her real name though (Karin)

>>39599869
That was a few months ago, so it's fine at this point

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BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
My mom didn't notice shit actually
Dabbin on the haters bruh

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>wake up in bed, hungover
>touch face because it feels odd
>there's a bandage cloth strapped to my head
>realize I blacked out again
>apparently dinged head on coffee table and left a bloody mess everywhere
>mummy cleaned and nursed my wound while I was out

>>39601109
Fuck anon, I'm so sorry.
Get well soon

>>39599450
Are you a summerfag or are you a basement dweller?

If you are above the age of 18 you need to change your life, get a job, move out etc. Trust me, I'm not a normie, I'm a fucked up edgelord that enjoys spamming gore and shitposting on /b/.
But at least idiots like me have a life.

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>>39601626
I'm 18 and going to college in a few weeks. So my future is actually looking surprisingly good for an autist like me
If I could just get over my sexual paraphilias

>>39601626
I think you're the outsider here

>>39601673
>If I could just get over my sexual paraphilias
Nah, keep em, you deserve it anon.

>>39601693
Why do you say such a thing?
Though you're probably right.

>>39601704
Because the normalfags can't tell you what you're supposed to like or not

though i hope it's not cp you're talking about

>>39601725
No, not CP
but really depraved cuckshit, chastity and other super degenerate stuff

>>39601740
Then it's fine.

Took a few swigs from a vodka bottle, never drank before
>playing some phone drinking game
>someone gets challenged by gam to like lick some coins or something lame
>"what are you, a cheap whore?"
>wait who said that
>wait did i say that
>girl is in tears
>girl is going through tough breakup
>i'm speechless
>she screams that i have to leave
>don't move
>who's she talking to?
>is she talking to me?
>eternity later say sorry
>everything back to normal
>nobody mentions anything about if ever
>mfw

>>39599450
What are you some underage faggot? Why would getting drunk be a crime?

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>>39601830
Fuck, that's tough. I once got a bit tipsy while at a friend's birthday and when his dad came in I thought it was one of his friends and jokingly said "Fuck you"
I'm not friends with him anymore

>>39601879
Of course I am allowed to drink but my family thinks drinking at home alone is a bad thing because of
>muh alcoholism

>drink bunch of alcohol
>See how much I can drink without passing out
>Always black out by the time I leave or head home
>Never remember getting home
>Always wake up with random cuts, bruises and scratches all over me and sick on my shoes and bottoms of my jeans
>Wake up at like 4am with intense stomach pains still drunk as shit
>Wait till 7:30am till the corner shop opens and buy a Lucozade sport and some other stuff like an ice lolly and some crisps
>Drink and eat those throughout the day
>Fine by 2-3pm

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>>39599450
>old enough to drink
>still lives with Mommy and daddy

>>39601997
>Out drinking with other 2 robot friends once
>Too drunk to walk that we'll
>Friend gives me his bike to steady myself against as I walk
>Try to ride it
>Sit on and fall straight over without moving
>Ride it for about 3 seconds and fall over again
>Decide to try walking with it as friends are noticing me fall over in succession
>Stand up and lean on it
>Fall right over again
>During one of the falls I cut the palms of my hands on the ground or maybe some glass
>Have plasters so put them on my hands
>Friend holds bike whilst I lean on it and walk
>Get home next day and try to avoid showing parents my bloody and plastered hands
>Didn't work that we'll
>They just said to be more careful and drink less

>>39602032
>American
>Gotta be 21 to drink
>Can be 18 literally everywhere else

God damn I hate being American

>>39602032
>don't have to pay rent
>don't have to buy food
>mom takes care of everything to the point of ironing my clothes
>>39602088
It's so dumb
Best wishes and I hope you'll be able to drink soon

>>39602088
It used to be 16 here but honestly its such a good thing they bumped it to 18.

>>39599844
this everyone knows only children have moms.

>>39602105
My 8 year old neice can iron her own clothes lmfao

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>>39602188
It's not about being able to
It's about not HAVING to
>mfw I choose this picture for my post and look at the filename
Yesterday was rough, wew lad

>>39602105
>has to live under your parents rules like a giant child
>will never know the joys of having his own place
>have no control over what you eat
>too retarded to iron his own clothes
Damn and I thought I was pathetic

>>39602273
You thought you were pathetic? Chances are you probably still are. Grow the fuck up then.

>>39602201
Nigga everyone does all those things easily with no complaints. Its just a part of being a somewhat functional human being.

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>>39602273
It's fine to be jealous, wagie. Not everyone is fortunate enough to get a taste of the sweet fruits NEET life gives you.

>>39602298
Atleast im not retarded and cant iron my own clothea

>>39602330
Yeah, im jealous of some kid still at mom and dads house while i got my own place, car and good paying job

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>>39602358
>materialism
Yeah, very nice wagie. Now get yourself some rest, it's the weekend after all. You don't want to be tired on monday, do you?

>2AM
>drunk as fuck
>crashing at friends place
>his family is British
>dad fought in the falklands war
>they seem to think I'm a fairly reasonable and well spoken person
>the dad wakes up as I'm returning to bed from toilet
>"look at the pissheads, every friday night"
>for some reason I decide that the best option is to shit talk him like I do his son
>Turn and size up all 5' of him
>put on best accent
>"achelly guvna i's sa'uhday mawnin innit?"
>swagger back to mattress and pass out
>he didn't follow me
>didn't say anything
>I honestly think he was debating whether it'd be worth having the cops called for bashing me

>>39602370
Sure thing little guy.
Go back to stressing out about getting yelled by mommy and daddy for what happened last night. Im sure they wont ground you for too long
Your life is something truly that I covet(sarcasm)

>>39602370
At least he get some fuk, manchild.

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>>39602479
>getting yelled by mommy and daddy for what happened last night
>>39601023
Meme magic saved me lad
>>39602488
When confronted with his life choices, the wagecuck spergs out, usually answering with
>muh sex
This is because of the wagecuck's inability to understand that NEETs not only have a better sex life than wagecucks, they also fuck the wagie's wife while he's at work.

>>39602079
21 legal limit is the minority amoungst states. most are 18

>>39602088
it's a minority of the states where you have to be 21...

>>39599664
No matter how fucked up I get, I NEVER talk about that. I think you're probably okay, anon.

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>>39602849
>mfw the first time I got blackout drunk I told all my friends that I want to get beaten up by girls and lick their feet

>>39599844
Welcome to /r9k/, my silly newfriend.

>>39602358
>i got my own place, car and good paying job
on r9k


he he he x d d d

>>39602477
>>"achelly guvna i's sa'uhday mawnin innit?"
what did he mean by this?

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>>39599450
Is this bait? You got drunk and shitposted on 4chan and now you wanna kill yourself?
Did you drink like 3 beers? Was this the first time you drunk?

>>39603004
I drank one bottle of red wine and half a bottle of white wine
Yeah, I tend to overreact over stupid stuff. Sorry

>Should I kill myself?
Yes you fucking should you faggot

>>39603032
oui oui
have no gun though, sadly

>>39599450
>at parents house after a stressful day
>parents go to bed
>drink a shit ton of wine
>blackout
>wakeup on the couch instead of my childhood bed
>parents ask why I slept there
>no idea what to say
>go up to my old room to sleep off my hangover
>realize later I ripped open my infant nephews birthday present and used it to play with the cat
>hear my parents disappointedly talking about it downstairs

but wait there's more

>1 month later at a family get together
>mom wants to put out a specific bottle of wine
>there's hardly any of it left because I drank it the night I blacked out
>didnt finish off the bottle because I'm a fucking tard
>mom starts asking dad in front of everyone what happened to all of it
>dad says I drank it
>everyone looks at me
>i mutter something retarded

It's happened to the best of, anon, don't feel too bad. Go back to bed, I find sleeping it's the only reliable way to get rid of a hangover.