How the fuck do you get a job /r9k/? I know that you are probably

>>39562083
>look manager in the eye
>give him a firm handshake and ask for a job
It's really easy, son.

>>39562177
Don't forget to tuck your dick back first.

>>39562083
have a fucking spine and an actual desire to get work. you cant TEACH someone how to have ambition by asking on r9k ROFL?? JUST

>>39562083
>How the fuck do you get a job /r9k/?
Having connections

>>39562191
The problem my man is not that I lack ambition, I have plenty of that. My problem is that I have ambition but whenever I try to follow that ambition I totally crumble. I want to work and I want to be normal but every time I try I just mentally collapse. Has anybody else here been in this situation?

>>39562083
>find local contractor or craigslist general labor
>be 18 or passable if minorfag
>pass piss test and don't dress like trash
>shake boss's hand, look him in the eye, ask if there's any work
if you're not completely fatbody and you seem to have your shit together you'll get something.

>>39562083
>lives the life of a leech for 20+ years
>wants to be a normie overnight

1. go to high school level classes
2. go to college level classes
3. make some friends
4. take professional classes or volunteer/intern
5. work entry level, sometimes doing 60 hour weeks for low pay
6. after another 4-10 years you might have a comfortable job

if there aren't shortcuts for 16 years olds, there aren't any for you. go fuck yourself. if you were some niche genius entrepreneur who was hiding in the closet this whole time, you wouldn't have any questions about what to do as an alternative.

That's a cute girI

>>39562083
1. Pad
2. Your
3. Resume
Also if you're lazy like me I'd recommend working part-time, and preferably from home, until you can rise out of an entry level position.
Just keep searching for job listings you like on craigslist/indeed

Who is this girl though?

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>>39562354
>1. go to high school level classes
>2. go to college level classes
Works kinda different here in Britbongistan, college is more like extended high school and university is more like college in America. Regardless, I did get a college placement but I couldn't afford to go so I had to turn it down.
>3. make some friends
I have friends already but I can never afford to hang out with them
>4. take professional classes or volunteer/intern
I live in bumfuck nowhere and any sort of volunteerism would require me to transit, which I can't afford to do.
>5. work entry level, sometimes doing 60 hour weeks for low pay
Same as above
>6. after another 4-10 years you might have a comfortable job
too long term for what I'm trying to get accross.

I get 250 pounds (300 usd) a month and my family don't give me any money. I can't do any of the shit you listed because I can#t afford it. I have no clue what to do.

>>39562388
>>39562490
dunno desu

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>>39562754
>that webm
JESUS FUCK, ME WANT SAUCE

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>>39562754
Post more right now or else

>>39562754
>couldn't afford
move out and get a loan. either way you're not going to be making that much more money for at least 15 years.

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>>39562307
>"have a fucking spine and an actual desire to get work. you cant TEACH someone how to have ambi..."

>SPINE

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>>39562825
getting into debt when I don't have a job seems like a shitty idea desu. Are you seriously telling me that my only option out of this shithole is to get into shit tons of debt that I may never be able to pay back?

>>39562786
>>39562780
y...yes sir

>>39562850
God look how small that girlwiener is. Didn't even know it was possible.

>>39562754
>what is general unskilled labor
jesus christ bongs really are fucked

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>>39562490
Nekotrap. Used to have tumblr blogs called Small-gay-witch and lewd-gay-witch(searching for these will still bring up some results, but the actual domains are now occupied by some spam bot).

She also had a chaturbate account called olivia_tremor which she doesn't use anymore, and the only recordings of them are locked behind a paywall.

Currently she posts on https://x4b1d.tumblr.com/ , but doesn't post lewds anywhere near as much as she used to.

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>>39562843
>Just bee yourself
Anon, please... I've been a loser for 18 years and you just expect me to be able to somehow become alpha just because I feel like it. I want to do well but it's not as easy as "just growing a spine" and I'm sure you know that.

>>39562889
>what is general unskilled labor
>jesus christ bongs really are fucked

I'm a pussy so they'd probably never hire me in that kind of field. I want to put on weight and gain muscle but I can't afford the gym. Plus, it would mean having to travel places which again I cannot afford.

>>39562873
It's CUTE!

>>39562929
>I'm a pussy so they'd probably never hire me in that kind of field.
can you not find a contractor or landscaper and do the following
>greet
>make eye contact
>ask if he has any work
>if yes shake his hand and start working
>if not thank him and leave
its not hard dude, if you can operate a shovel, saw, and hammer, you're probably fine.
you're a robot though so I doubt you'd pass a piss test.

>>39562850
explain to me how paying back a future loan is your primary concern when you're a lazy, poor idiot with no skills? whether it's parents, teachers, government, non-profits, or anyone else, somebody will need to invest in you for you to grow. if you get a job now, you'll be working that same job for the rest of your life and you'll still be poor. many people never pay back their loans but still improve their lives. welcome to earth.

>>39562850

>y...yes sir

You won't need a job if you come live with me. I'll pay for your food and hormones and I'll pump you full of hot cum every day.

That's what you really want, right?

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>>39562978
Fuck then I'd rather stay poor. It's basically the same as living in debt, except you have less material comforts and instead of living in dread you live in hollow emptiness. If "life" is being in debt then fuck that

>>39563001
But anon we probably live thousands of miles away

>>39562850
I want to shoot my cum down your throat

>>39562850
W-Who's this desu?

>>39562907
Your trap knowledge is impressive. Any other cute traps I should follow and background on them?

>>39563027
>everyone with debt is living in dread
you admitted to being a leech and you're still in debt to your parents, regardless of how you look at it. there are no free lunches. the consequences of being a retard led you to be poor and lazy. now you spend more time on shit you don't like to do.

>>39563107
>you admitted to being a leech and you're still in debt to your parents, regardless of how you look at it. there are no free lunches. the consequences of being a retard led you to be poor and lazy. now you spend more time on shit you don't like to do.
True desu but I don't actually pay very much to exist. My dad gets his flat for free (because of disability, he stays with his wife) which I stay in and I pay for my gas, electricity, and food. That's about all I can afford though. I'm not in debt to my parents so much as I am to the government, but being in debt to the government because you took a service that was provided is very different from being in debt to a corporation.

>>39563041
t...thank you anon

>>39563027
Post more webms of yourself and people will respond. No one gives a shit about your problems if you post a reaction image.

>>39562850
ok give sauce now

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>>39562929
JUST f*ckING N DIE alREADY !!!!

>>39563175
then you answered your own question. you will never get a job

>>39563227
why?
>>39563234
life is hell

>>39563279
Post where you're from and maybe some degenerate richfag will make you his gf(male) and take care of you. It's your best chance.

>>39563354
I've already said where I'm from in this thread, I'm British although I'm from Scotistan more specifically. Sounds like a cosy life desu but I wouldn't want somebody who's abusive and a situation like that can easily end up that way

>>39563409
well you'll never get a real job so either be a government leech until you kill yourself or be some rich dude's fucktoy, those are basically your options.
you're too degenerate to turn back now

>>39562307
i relate to this 100% my man

>>39563409
Hey that's where I'm from too.

Anywhere near Renfrewshire?

>>39563475
I don't know what to say
>>39563487
No Falkirk

>>39563550
There's no need to say anything, it's the future you chose. Make the most of it.

>be mentally disabled
>go to some state job program for disabled people
>get laughably easy data input job, literally read faxes and type them in a computer all day
>make minimum

Ez pz

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>>39562754
Full video now or the dog gets it.

>>39564011
The problem is that I'm not mentally disabled.
>>39564024
sorry doggo :(

>>39562083
We're on the same page op. I know that feel.

>>39564062
Are you sure? You could try and see if you could get diagnosed with Autism or something.

That'd add some money to your benefits, and buy some more time before you have to suck off old rich dudes for money.

Her bellybutton is so cute.

>>39564254
Unpierced navels are the best.

>>39564201
I tried that apparently I'm too good at verbal communication to be autistic. I did hide a lot of things though like my natsoc views and occassional hallucinations, would that be enough to get me diagnosed schizo or something?

>>39564405
It's worth a shot. Don't hide anything next time if you want to successfully be diagnosed.

>>39564423
I didn't want to be diagnosed. I still don't but I will if it's my only option. I won't take any medication though, if I get prescribed any I will just flush them

>>39564405
well in bongistan natsoc views would probably get you incarcerated, which means constant buttrape, and free room and board, plus healthcare

>>39564451
It's not your only option, but it's your best option. You could genuinely have some sort of disability for all you know and getting it diagnosed could be the only way to get help with it.

Remember that being diagnosed doesn't GIVE you anything, it just reveals what you've always had all along.

>>39562433
>1. Pad
>2. Your
>3. Resume
Does
Not
Work

if we were in a labor shortage then yeah, you could do it. But employers still have their choice of applicants and if I can't verify the work history of one applicant, I'll move on to the next.

>>39562083
Get friends that are willing to lie for you and fabricate a work history.

>>39564456
Probably not prison but if people knew I would be harrased for it. Prisons here in Scotland are filled with neo nazis though because all the Muzzies are shipped to England, if they don't then they are killed or beaten up here.
>>39564499
I don't want to be diagnosed though. It's depressing.

>>39562850
Jeez who is this? Give name, links something... please.

>>39564602
It can be depressing as hell at first, but it's worth it in the long run. It helps you discover who you are, and how to help survive in the world.

I'm speaking from experience here

>applied for correctional officer because it had no requirements except a clean record and high school diploma
>they actually called me back
>I have an interview on the 21st
>it also doubles as a physical test
>I am skinny out of shape
>they have a 6 week program to get in shape, I am trying to condense it to 3 weeks
hELP

>>39564711
Start drinking your own semen(or someone elses if you can find someone willing to) for those sweet protein gains. You'll be ripped in no time.

>>39562083
Not had a job in 3 years now.
Got a job interview tomorrow morning for a shit shop in my town... but fuck it, I've been a useless waste for way too long.

>>39562083
I pursued my hobby until I was good enough at it to make a profit.

>>39562850
So, you not gonna post sauce then, huh?