>tfw lost oneitis to someone who makes more than you, has

Fuck mam, I wish I got good words for you, but I honestly don't.

But in all things, please don't end your life here. When you're alive, there's always a chance to turn it around for good. When you're dead, it's game over.

Things can only get better from here. I wish the best for you.

she probably never loved you anyways, why even be upset.

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>>39558661
there's a real young qt waiting for you out there anon dont get hung up on this one roastie

there are also MEN out there to hang out with and have great times with, mario kart couch co-op, ballhockey games, DnD, clubbing or whatever you do

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>>39558718
>But in all things, please don't end your life here.
I don't plan to at all. It's just how depressing this all is. It's a really shitty feeling.

>>39558744
That would make things worse. Someone you loved and put so much time in didn't feel the same and you only found out when it's too late. I mean, it happens a lot. But it's much a different impact when it finally does.

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>expecting anything from people

don't be a typical white autist

>caring about 3dpd
Why don't you losers just admit you're losers and move on. Life is good when you don't care.

>>39558785
>That would make things worse.
no it shoudlnt, you never even had a chance so its not like anything you could have done would have ever worked so you didnt miss any opportunities.

>>39558661

>>tfw lost oneitis to someone who makes more than you, has a better future than you, is more attractive, has a more fruitful social life, is more liked, who's more capable of basic functioning, considered smarter, in better shape, more confident; but more importantly: has better chemistry with her and makes her happier.

I know this feel well anon.
I knew my oneitis since I was 16, moved to a different high school and was complete social outcast. Met her in a weeaboo group i become attached to through my friend who was also a social outcast who didnt even get into the weeb shit but only hung out there because no others.

She was beautiful, better than any other girl for me. I never spoke to her though, I think she was embarrassed by me liking her (long story) I wasn't as "groomed" as I am now. I still havent seen her in a year and a half now, I still think about her at night when I think about how cold it is and how great if she was there.

She did meet a dude though, and as you described, was way better than me in every way. I am 5'8, this fucker was fucking huge (about 6'3) and was smart as fuck, always got As. He's probably gonna be a doctor or a scientist and i'll always be an aspiring army fag, she'll never be my gf.

Just hang in there anon, can't promise it's gonna get better but atleast we'll have some little periods of happiness sometimes, right?

>>39558661
I feel you OP
>get the "just friends" talk
>she doesn't even seem to like my friendship that much
I can't even get mad at her because she is a wonderful person who owes me nothing, and I'm an unnatractive, ugly beta faggot who can offer her nothing that she couldn't get elsewhere. She is attractive and charming, she can get far better men than me. I should just learn my place in the world.

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>>39558822
>you never even had a chance
I've known her for years and been with her for so long. And the fact I couldn't compete really salts the wound.

Yeah, I know that feel. Happened to me recently too... except the guy was WORSE than me in most aspects, which actually makes it hurt more. But I've become so numb and inhuman through the years of isolation that it doesn't bother me too much.

>>39559544
>except the guy was WORSE than me in most aspects

How so was he worse and in what aspects?

>>39558661
I live through every day with fear of my oneitis finding someone else and there is nothing I can do. I genuinely hope you don't end yourself, which I highly doubt you would in the first place, but think about it, you are still young and have so much life ahead of you.

Sometimes all you gotta do is hit rock bottom, because then you can only go up. Think about your poor relatives and friends who would be left behind if you were gone. They would be thinking that they were not good enough for you to stay alive for.

If you ever need someone to talk/play games with and get your mind away, send me your steam or skype

>>39559731
>you are still young and have so much life ahead of you.
I'm 31. So that's like ancient compared to you guys.

>>39558661
There have been people wanting to give you advice here,so I'll just throw my 2 cents.
What I advise you to do is to take somebody who is better than you in most things.That will make you feel envious.Use that envy to power yourself to become better than them.
Do not forget to try to have fun though.The improvements are worth nearly nothing if you feel like shit.

>>39558787
Except this is obviously a fake screenshot

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>>39558661
Don't be sad, get mad.

>>39559641
Shorter, uglier, less kind, less intelligent. Emotionally blackmailer and manipulative.

Post her info, it worked great for the last guy.

>>39559909
Well, if a lower-quality guy can get the girl that you were after, then you should have no problem getting another girl of the same quality.

>>39559892

That's what a neighbor of mine did when his oneitis became my girlfriend. It didn't work out too well for him.

Did you ever make a serious move? How did she react? Did you ever fuck her or do anything in the time that you've known her? If she never reciprocated then she never saw you as anything more than a friend. I don't understand why that's such a hard concept to understand. Start analyzing shit and separate emotions from reality. Yeah it does suck, but you'll be more successful with girls and happier in the long run.

>>39558661
Anon, I'm really sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I could probably find 10 things each about your oneitis and her bf that suck and 10 things about you that are much better. It's hard to see yourself when you're trapped in your bubble of inadequacy and painful jealousy, but theyre probably not even all that great.

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>>39560129
Uhh, she and I were together for a while. I thought I made clear in the OP.

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>>39558661
This tl's the dr.

>>39560279
No, you really didn't. I also get the impression from the OP that you were just a friendzone orbiter.

So how did it go down, then? Did she just text you one morning and say that she was leaving you for some other guy?

>>39558661
Fuck man and I thought my life was bad it's good to know that there's people doing worse than me

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>>39558661
> Oneitis left me a few years ago
> Still pined after her for a long time
> She recently got married
> Guy is literally me but better. Taller, older, more confident, no acne, has a stable job, etc.

I feel you anon, I was crushed for the longest time. I had a whole thing set up where I'd hang myself from the rafters of my shed. I broke a promise I made to myself long ago and cut myself for a time. I never hated myself more than during that time. It was hard and I bottled it all up, hiding everything from my closest friends and family. I made it though, and I can still remember the day I finally got up the same dreary way I had been for years and told myself "No, I won't let this woman control my life any longer."

Don't bottle it up like I did anon, I was lucky I wasn't brave enough to kill myself, at the very least see a therapist and try your best to soldier through your feelings for your oneitis. It may take years, but when you find your own person not dictated by feelings for another, it will feel so good. I'm the most comfortable I've ever been in my own skin now, I'm not happy but I'm content. I've come to terms with who I am and I'm making myself better, bit by bit. It gets easier, the hardest part will be making it through these first few days OP.

Improve yourself, you self loathing trash. Be bitter and one-up the new guy in everyway possible, work-out, eat healthier, improve your hygiene and health. It will ultimately improve yourself and your confidence. You may not ever get over it but try to better yourself and maybe you can even try to cuck him lol. Maybe you can't right now because the wound is fresh, but you'll slowly gain back some motivation. Also if she left you for another guy then she probably wasn't even that into you. You said yourself he's better than you in pretty much every aspect. She isn't stupid for leaving you for someone better, who wouldn't do that. So just be happy for her. You shouldn't let any girl be the first thing you think of when you sleep and last thing when you sleep. Hang out with friends (assuming you have any) do some shit you like.

>>39561159
>So just be happy for her.
probably among the worst advice you can give to op at this time

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>>39558794
>>39558822
>>39561159
t. idiots :3

>>39558661
>your greentext
Know that feel, anon.

>>39559880
>fake
>on r9k where this shit even in OP happens all the time

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I'm sorry OP, that sounds really tough. What's important is to understand that other people's perceptions and sentiments are not you. Other people do not have the complete understanding of you that you do, so if they dislike or prefer another person to you, that's not reason to hate yourself.

However it sounds like this has made you look critically at aspects of your life that need improvement. Ask yourself if these are things you really want to change, or just things you think you should change because they would make you better for your oneitis. Take getting fit for example - I would be way hotter if I was toned, but the lifestyle would make me unhappy. Instead of going to the gym, I walk everywhere, dance to music in my home, and go hiking/canoeing. These changes are better for me because you're only ever going to find happiness if you make the outside you match the inside you as closely as possible. Living inauthentically and doing stuff that makes you miserable WON'T HELP.

>>39562033
As for your oneitis, I don't know the full story. If she's nice, you should try to maintain the friendship because she sounds like a positive influence from your last paragraph.

However, being around her might make it harder to move on. On the other hand, ghosting her will (1) probably make it obvious that you're hurt about her new relationship and (2) may hurt her feelings if you're not there for her and damage the friendship. Do what you feel is best for you to move on, bug be aware of consequences. A good intermediate would be doing things as friends (maybe even with the new guy), but not using her as an emotional crutch. Don't share your deep feels with her - find another friend or go on 4chan. The les you rely on her, the less attached you will feel. Ex. That quote from Catcher in the Rye about telling anyone anything, and how that means you'll miss them.

He was NOT my oneitis, but I had a crush on a guy I was friend' so with in high school. He dated a couple of really abusive girls. He said to another friend while drunk that I would probably be a nicer girlfriend but that I was less pretty and dressed "like [I] was Amish or something". It hurt. I kept being his friend. I got over it. It's been eight years, we're still friends, and he's dating a nonabusive girl that has become my new friend. You can have this sort of success and be so much happier than you are right now.

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>>39561159
>who wouldn't do that
Kek. Idk, someone with at least minimum empathy, anon?
If someone makes you bullshit story about how important are you for him/her, and then leaves you, because "new option" (better guy here) appeared, then this "onetis" is pretty much sociopath.

But I agree, that although OP can't fight his height he should try to improve himself- he can improve his looks amd abilities and become a better himself.

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>>39558661
Sucks man. Hopefully you'll find a new oneitis.

>>39562133
Anyway, OP, getting over onerous is tough and I'm not sure if it's fully doable. I am currently in the opposite scenario:
>have oneitis
>he dates a girl that is fatter, less educated, less interesting that me
>I don't know if she's nice or not but this guy did say I was one of the nicest people he knew so clearly the issue is not that I'm a bitch
>start getting paranoid that I have some
horrible defect that makes me repulsive but that I can't identify

That guy was a jerk (tried to bully me into fwb, left when it didn't work, possibly playing me and that other girl), so I stopped trying to be friends when I realized he ghosted me. He tried apologizing and being my friend but I basically told him to fuck off as politely as I could. Your oneitis sounds nice so I wouldn't try that unless you're not coping after a few weeks.

It's been two years this December since this dude was a part of my life. I'm still suffering from post-oneitis syndrome. He's started working as a graduate student in my program. I have to force myself to network at job and academic events when I don't want to go because he's there and it makes me seriously anxious. He gets invited to every party in the department and I've impeded myself from making friends because I won't go. There's a goodbye party for a friend this weekend and even though I've bought gifts and a new outfit, I'm super scared to go because he might stop by. I can't guarantee that this feeling you have will go away completely in a reasonable amount of time.
>forgettings not something you do
>it happens to you
>only it didn't happen to me
You need to accept that your feelings are out of your control and you may still have them a while from now. The ride may not end, but you can control whether or not you barf on the guy next to you during the loopdiloops.

>>39562347
I may not be a representative example though, since I am and have been single for the last two years. You might meet someone and feel better.

Anyway, good luck OP, you sound really sweet and like you've been through a lot. Be nice to yourself. Buy some junk food. <3

>>39558661
i've had the same feels, and i thought they would never go away, but it does get easier, a lot easier. It's been 3 years since she chose another guy over me. We are still very close friends, and i do have some small feelings for her, but nothing bad. I can't even remember when was the last time i cried myself to sleep in fetal position. I guess it just hits really hard when you are 23yo virgin, who gets attention from this amazing girl, and she becomes your first love. I was not ready for the FEELS. I didn't know such emotions even existed. Now i kinda feel like the whole experience was good, i learned a lot, i had no idea what i was missing out. Saddest thing is that games and anime can no longer fill my life.

>>39558661
If you are young you'll get over it. It will hurt for a time but you have to stick through it. It took me two years to get over my first gf.

>>39562413
I like your outlook on life and the way you think. The guy who wanted to be fwb wanted nothing serious from you and he would leave you in an instant for someone else. Go too the party and enjoy yourself. Fuck him.

>>39562420
Shit man you just brought back memories. Being in love for the first time honestly feels like you're drugged up. Looking back, I was completely different and out of character during those times.

>>39563387
Thanks anon! This is super encouraging and I will!!

>but more importantly: has better chemistry with her and makes her happier.
This is the only one that really hurts. Everything else doesn't matter, but when this happened to me I felt incomplete and out of place like never in my life. It's like I was born with an essental part missing that doesn't let me click with people.

>>39564440
Np. Don't deny yourself opportunities and experiences becouse of one person.