When someone gives the "it's not you, it's me"

>>39543290
No its never real, its just a line they use to make themselves feel better about discarding you like youre trash

I said it before and meant it. I realized I was self destructive and dragging both them and myself down with my petty jealousy and insecurities. I apologized and cut myself out of their life and they've been far better for it.

>>39543290
I feel its real if its coming from me, then again, if I think "its not you, its me" then I would never start a relationship...which is what I do.

>Start seeing someone
>They want to touch you, get to know you, spend time with you
>Now you get texts with smiley faces asking how you're feeling and conversations where you have to lie to pretend you have a personality
>Have sex and dissociate as you realize in horror that you're partially responsible for the feelings of this other person, engaged in an interaction that will create a lasting impression
>Realize you're completely incapable of dealing with this and want to go back to the comfortable routine of waking up to an environment that consists entirely of stimulus you control
Yes, sometimes it's real.

>>39543290
Poor self esteem makes you think you are a burden to everyone and some romanticize it by saying their lifes would be better without you, so it can be real.
Source: me, never had a girlfriend, but ive wanted to stop talking to my friends and run away from home or kms for those very reasons.

>>39543684
This is exactly how I feel. Is this normal?

if it's a man

I think men are more likely to be direct and honest and deal with the consequences of that, even if that means telling your gf that you really want to fuck lots of women or some other kind of thing

women will make shit up because they just want to escape any situation they don't like without confronting and dealing with those problems

they're also generally just worse people

>>39543290
Cyborg here, and only one girl did give me that pity line. Most other girls just flat out told me that I was boring and that's why they were breaking up with me.

Ironically, I did say it to a girl that I was breaking up with and I did absolutely mean it. She was too good (i.e. too normie) for me and if we had stayed any longer together I would have either led her down my path of nihilistic degeneracy or I would have led a double life where I'm a fake normie living with her and we constantly get into arguments while shopping for breakfast cereal and all that and I end up cheating on her with a fat 16 year old stoner. She didn't deserve any of that so I had to let her go.

>>39543893
>>39543684
I have always just put this down to being emotionally immature and I'm not trying to insult either of you when I say that.

I genuinely believe that people who behave the way you describe when they enter into a relationship are still emotionally at the range of a teenager and I put that down to three things

1) poor reasoning skills, you jump before you think

2) poor impulse control, you engage and add weight to something simply because you enjoy it at the time

3) childish sense of self, you failed to understand that engaging in a relationship is a two way street until something inconveniences you, then you regret starting the relationship initially

>>39543953
>women will make shit up because they just want to escape any situation

This. A woman will say LITERALLY anything to avoid being even remotely to blame when breaking up with someone.

>>39544045
I think points 2 and 3 are pretty valid for me. I still listen to bands like three days grace even though I'm 21.

>>39543893
It's normal for an autist, yeah.

>>39544129
Grow up. Listen to Necrophagist.

>>39544045
Lots of teenagers have relationships though. They may not be skilled at them, but they're still capable of some degree of communication. I want to love and feel loved, but when it comes down to it I'm not capable of either.

Do most people invest much long term planning when it comes to entering into a relationship? It seems to me it mostly consists of, "I like this girl, lets ask her out and see what happens."

Anyways, the point of my anecdote is that sometimes you have no idea what's going on in the other persons head, they could have a bunch of stupid baggage that causes you to misread your interactions with them. Sometimes it really is the other person, and even if it is you that doesn't necessarily mean you've done anything wrong.

Fuck off normie.

Also they mean it's both you and them, they mean you are right for them.

>>39543290
Yeah it could be. I used it on my ex because we just did not fit together, I could not give her what she wanted.
>>39543535
you are trash though