Has any of you ever committed a crime? If so, what kind of crime

>>39538520
I once killed a small boy and placed his body in...

HAH! You won't get me!

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I did about 5 years in federal prison for some pot trafficking. Got released january of 2015.
Ask me anything I guess?

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>>39538550
It is the internet. Nobody will find out anyway. No reason for shyness. We are all friends here.

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I loitered once.

>>39538520
Stealing from a convenience store, and smoking weed.
I don't do either any more.

I stole manga by shoving them down the pockets of my tripp pants.

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>>39538631

D E V I L I S H
E
V
I
L
I
S
H

Fuck XKCD

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>bought drugs
>consumed aforementioned drugs
take me away mr boliceman, i am a threat to humanity itself

>>39538586
Did you see any gay shit go down in prison?

I used to sell the drugs. did a few short stints in county but never anything over a year. Pretty sure I still have an active warrant out of somewhere or another

>>39538586
my first offense was for weed, how did you catch fed time for that? you must have attracted quite some attention

still on parole or no?

>>39539083
There were some turbodykes up in there (female prison)
>>39539150
I'm still on felony probation. My PO checks in when he wants. Someone connected to my close friends was most likely an informant, seeing as they raided my house once but i didnt keep anything there so they just detained me and let me go that day

Eventually i got pulled over with 8lbs in my car and got 8 years, but got out in 5. I now work in a clinic snd im trying to get a radiography degree

Fix my life right up senpai

Brought and consumed a fair amount of drugs from the the "deep web"

>>39538520

I got shit on by the cops already, I have criminal record but never went on trial or something.

>Computer hacking
Hacked a journalist's computer and tried to get a fake story to get on print at the last moment
>Vandalism
Graffiti
>Underage drinking
>Possession of a weapon
some lady freaked after she saw me in public with an airsoft gun, cops apparently see that as a weapon.

>>39539206
shit man, this is why I get unironically triggered when people on here advocate snitching or getting people arrested just because they don't like them

Good of you not to roll over when they gave you that sentence. Truly unfortunate that someone should do 5 years over that kinda weight. I'm sure most of your cellies were in there for a lot worse

>>39539334
It was a medium level security fed place, so it surprisingly wasn't too bad. MUCH better than county jail. There were some violent lesbo ghetto chicks but they mostly stayed to their own clique and it was mostly non-violent offenders for drugs or theft I mostly just worked in the kitchen (got special food privileges) and took supervised online classes.

We even had a television in the cell and air conditioning. Not as bad as I thought it'd be but I learned my lesson and are now a productive member of society

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>>39538520
Have been considering it OP
My job brings me into contact with a lot of credit card numbers, and I've taken a bunch of them down. Have been thinking about buying bitcoins or something with them but I'm stupid as hell and don't want to get caught, plus I don't think you can safely get bitcoins with credit card.
It's killing me inside knowing I could get rich but I'm too retarded to be a good criminalfag

I drink in public regularly. Vandalism sometimes, but nothing serious. Just break stupid shit on the street.

>>39538520
Multiple possession of marijuana tickets.
A year ago, I kicked down the door to a random house, took off my clothes, and started taking a bath. Got unlawful entry and resisting arrest.
This year, I walked into a vape store, asked to see a vape, and walked out the store with it.
I have bipolar and was severely manic both times.

>>39538520
once when i was a kid i looked at a supermarket camera and i shoved a box of froot roll ups in my lunch box and in front of my mom too. there was high pressure in school to own froot roll ups.

>>39539686
Hey, me too. There's a place right next to the river in the city I live where everyone goes and drinks, night or day.
Also, a department store went out of business and my friends and I broke in and shot fire extinguishers at each other, broke halogen lights, tagged, all kinds of shit.

Are we under oath, obvious faggot?

>>39539856
Its kinda cool how you can do stupid shit and no one cares. God knows how many times I've been wasted out of my mind doing stupid shit on the street and I've never got into any kind of trouble.

I also trespass sometimes. I like rooftops from supermarkets, malls, stuff like that. Solid drinking spots.

>ctrl f
>FBI/CIA
>0 results
wtf robots

I've bought drugs before watch out I'm a brutal thug.

Never been arrested or even pulled over for it, but I street race with friends an unhealthy amount. Mainly runs through back roads or pulls on highways, but I do dumb shit in the city. Also hit and run, twice

>>39538520
Several years ago I lived in a small town where a new police station was being built. They didn't tear down the old one ( I think it's still there actually.) Anyway someone told a friend of mine that there was all kinds of drugs and money in there and he wanted to break in one night and steal it. I was the only other one ballsy (and stupid) enough to go with him. So we get there and there isn't shit really. At least no drugs or money, but we did still a gun, a bulletproof vest, and a half gallon of whiskey. That night I slept in an rv in the dudes parents yard and walked home the next morning. "Dad" was mad as fuck, not sure why because he never, ever cared about me before or after since. Maybe he just thought it made him look bad, of course if people knew who he really was then it wouldn't matter anyway. So why do you want as much detail as possible, mr fbi?

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>>39539686
>being in such a third-world country that drinking in public is considered a crime

>>39539206
>felon arrested for selling 8 pounds of weed
>female
How the hell does a roastie manage that? How much money were you making? I'd imagine it's real easy to just bust into a roast's house and beat her up and steal her shit since women are dumber and weaker on average