>work with a gigaton of roasties >Despise their existance

>>39521630
Just go to some reclusive place.

Rape a couple
Word will get round

>>39521630
First ones on the house, but from then on its a firm "No, I'm sorry" dont mumble it say it firmly looking into her eyes.

>>39521651
The only reasonable smoke spot is behind the store. I'm not gonna squat behind the garbage container. I just want to lean on the wall and be alone. My car is parked too far, so can't go there. I only have 5 mins.

Smoke unfiltered like a real fucking man.

Are you a nigger? Just pop a cap in that roasties ass, yo.

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>>39521733
Lmao
>>39521760
This one is a snitch. I'm already on thin ice with boss. Can't get on her bad side, cuz shes like the boss' favorite play pet. I need a more cunning plan. To beat a roastie, one must think like one
>>39521811
Not a nignog.

Come on autists. Help me, I go in tomorrow

Just give her a smoke. Choose your battles. Girls who smoke are more likely to put out. Maybe the smoke break is her excuse to talk to you alone. Either way, it is only a small courtesy

>>39521928
put some poison on one of the cigarettes and give that one to her

>>39522683
I BLEACHED IT DEMARCO

>>39521630
dont shower, you need to get some female repellent in greasy hair and body odour

Stop smoking it can be bad for you sometimes

>>39522683
>>39522698
https://youtu.be/vF7P3oq8Enc#t=1m3s

Give her one. Honestly it's cigarette karma. You'll always get one back of someone if you're in a fix. Even strangers.

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>>39522661
>>39522764
I don't want to start a habit, but I don't want to be abrasive.
>>39522722
I might to the opposite and wear a shit ton of bad cologne like axe. No lie
>>39522728
I think you should pick up smoking to be honest. Great way to pass the time. Can be a social activity. Masks your autism. Smoking is the perfect normie disguise. Brings me closer to deaths eternal peace

>>39522948
axe is normie tier, they wont even care..

Anyway you are hopeless enjoy the roastie parasites

>"yeah, as a matter of fact I do mind"
>light up, walk away shaking your head as if to say, seriously?

You can do it OP.

women are the worst amirite

>>39523011
>As I walk away, I stumble and fall
>Turn around to see her laughing
>Land on cig and leaves a burn mark in uniform
>Sprint back inside
This plan is not autist-proof Try again normie

>>39523011
She'll take it personally, bitch about it to her friends and make your life hell with all kinds of weird passive aggressive nonsense. Not good. Rudeness is seldom rewarding even if you shouldn't have to be polite.

I say give her one like the other anon, but no more. She tries again say you're down to your last few and you're sorry. If you want to avoid confrontation you have to sink to the level of lying.

>>39523087
Start rolling your cigarettes at work, roasties will always say "No thanks" when you say you dont have cigs but tobbaco and rolling paper. 100% guaranteed. Rolling youe cigs makes you look like a bum and roasties dont want to be perceived that way. They'll literally rather have nicotine witjdrawals than look like they dont have alot of money.

op is smoking like 3 times a day or chewing tobacco once a day gonna set me up for cancers? in your opinion? i smoked 5 a day for a long times and now i havent had one in a few weeks because i thought how bad cancer would suck but realised i havent felt as happy without a couple a day

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>>39523337
>asking op a medical question that he is not qualified to answer on a Mongolian puppet show imageboard

>>39523337
Cba to look it up but people who smoke only a few cigs a day have almost as much extra chance to get lung cancer as someone who smokes 2 packs.

This is only for the cancer part. The rest of the side effects from smoking are worse if you smoke more.

>>39523337
Everything causes cancer. Eating barbeque food causes cancer. Might as well roll the dice and enjoy life. I'd keep it to under 5 a day. But you have to know yourself. Ask yourself if you have an addictive personality. I know this is a cliche, but I know that I could quit anytime. I've gone weeks without a single smoke. It didn't bother me. Could you drop cigs like that in an instance?

basically -Vape if you want to avoid cancer. You'll look like a pussy though.

>>39521630
>Hey anon, mind if I bum one?
>It'll cost you, if you know what I mean.

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>>39523239
I don't know how, and hont want to make a mess with tobacco everywhere.
>>39523203
I think you get me best anon. I think I'll just lie. I know it seems obvious, but I'm a good liar. I'll try though.

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>>39523408
yeah i could but at the same time i like chewing tobacco like pic related most eveb though i get no nicotine it just tastes so good. i just wouldnt want throat or bladder cancer. i chew about 2 bags a week but never smoke anymore really

>>39521630
>Hey anon, mind if a bum one?
"Only if I can bum you, if you know what I mean"

>>39523450
I'm a khv. I've never made a move in my life. I'd look like a bumbling idiot.

Carry round an empty packet, jus whip it out n be like i think that was my last one

>>39523484
Keep on chewing man. My uncle chewed since he was a teen and hes like 40 now. No issues. This is of course a shitty anecdote, but it's true. Chew if you want, but those labels aren't bullshit. You run the risk of getting cancer. I don't chew though, I dont know much about it. I have been smoking for a while though. I go through a pack in about a week give or take a couple days.

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>>39521630
>Sorry that was my last one.
>Sorry I only have few left and I need to make do with just those until the end of the day.

Wow so fucking difficult. What are you afraid she'll investigate your pocket to see if you're not lying?

>>39523525
Holy shit, that's clever. This is the plan I'm going with. Bless you anon. I'm a brainlet for not thinking about this.

Fuckin thread/

>>39523592
thanks fpr replying, you mean chew not dip right?

and this is probably gay to ask but i dont like life much in general but at the same time i dont think i could ever kms and that makes me feel like a pussy but if i ever got cancer i just like to think that i could blow my brains out but at the same time i still feel like id be nervous about it. does that make me a pussy?

>>39521630
I used to bum cigarettes. Most frequent excuse is "sorry last one" or just straight up "no". Choose either depending on how courageous you're feeling. She's your coworker so I reckon saying "sorry last one" won't work for long.

>>39523621
This is cowardIy.

>>39523739
That ship sailed the moment he couldnt just say fucking no. Also enjoy your frequent medical problems and early death OP

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>>39522661
He doesn't want to fucking talk to her maybe.

>>39523739
>Cowardly

You mispronounced "clever"
>>39524074
Pussy. You should take up smoking

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>>39521630

Does she ever retun the favour?

If no tell her to fuck off

You are simply being used as a smoke dispenser and you are too much of a pussy to say no

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>Newport
Sorry pal, these are /ourciggies/

>>39524503
where I live they're selling lucky strikes with some "double click" thing
is that good or shit

>>39524503
>Lucky strikes
I don't smoke gutter filth
Niggports or nothing fag