>tfw wake up with anxiety who else /constant feeling

>>39488931
same but more with a melancholic depression
>accept this is my lot in life

File: BN00073.jpg (54KB, 403x263px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 403x263px

>>39488931
Me, too bad barey few to none of the ppl around me understand it,

>>39489106
Yeah, whenever I tell my family they tell me to suck it up and that there are people with actual diseases. I know they're right but it's so hard to fight it off

>>39489195
They are not right. They are stupid. Actual disease... they would say that to anyone with mental illness.

Today I'm starting my sort of "work" today and it's just makes my daily anxiety worse.
I just can't take a break, and now I have the all year to feel extra shitty and miserable.

>>39488931
I feel you.. Thats the actual reason why i stay up late, cause i just simply don't want to wake up in the morning. I'm kind of "scared" to go to bed.

What do you guys do (or try) to stop this feeling? I don't want to be this kind of person. I also get nightmares cause i think too negatively before i go to sleep. That makes sleeping even more unappealing, but i need my sleep. Especially cause school is starting in 2 days...

I'm kind of hopeless at this point.

>>39489525
>I'm kind of "scared" to go to bed.
I've been feeling this since I was about 12 years old. I wish I could sleep normal hours but it just doesn't happen.

>>39489628
That sucks man... I feel like smoking tons of weed (indica) will help this problem. But ye that'd make waking up in the morning harder cuz ull still feel kind of stoned.

>>39489700
I don't smoke, instead I eat junk food and drink tea/coffee. The sugar is the worst, my teeth aren't great and I get headaches if I try to go without it for too long. I'm going to try quitting it again now because of this thread, last time I went a somewhat long run before going back to it.

>>39488931
ye
>>39489106
>mom drives me to the doctor because I'm having panic attacks (undiagnosed before this visit)
>diagnosed with GAD and having panic attacks
>given a prescription for some anti anxiety shit that takes the edge off just enough that I don't have panic attacks
>drive home, she asks how it went and what's up
>tell her
>instantly thinks I'm some kind of fucking nutcase and asking all sorts of questions, some serious and others not so much
>makes a joke (pretty sure it was a joke anyways) asking if I'm some psycho waiting to snap
>give short and to the point responses just to stop this hell
>eventually over time due to one reason or another my whole family finds out
>if I'm doing something with them they treat me like I'm some sick puppy they need to help or accommodate if I show the slightest discomfort
>never talk about it and just say I'm fine if someone asks if I'm okay, even if I feel like I'm dying on the inside
>tfw I haven't been hanging out irl with my one friend much since he still doesn't know and I'm dreading doing something with him that might cause me to freak out since I don't want him to treat me the same way my family does
Should I just tell my friend what's up so he doesn't think I'm just avoiding him to be a dick?

>>39489798
I know that 'seeking mental help but don't want people to know' feel. I'd say that unless it seems likely to come up in a way you'd prefer it didn't don't acknowledge it at all, and if it does just say you're getting help with some stupid shit or something. As long as you don't ask people to feel sorry for you or act differently most people shouldn't make a thing of it. From the sounds of it your mum has worked people into a panic by probably overstating the shit out of everything. If you just acknowledge it once and then don't make a thing of it nobody will probably care.

>>39489798
If you keep this up you are dooming your friendship. If you tell him the truth you may save your friendship. So yes, definitely tell him. Good luck, hope it goes well for you.

>>39489723
That's the first step. I believe in you, anon ^^ Also nice that this thread motivates you. That means that you still believe in yourself and your ability to make your life a little bit better. Sugar is the worst and i think your body would be very happy if you quit eating so much. Goodluck!

>>39488931

i get anxious at night for no reason and cant have a shower without having an anxiety attack. they last for hours too so i have to always shower at night then lie awake anxious for hours. even though i take daily diazapam i still get anxious. its making my life shit and cbt isnt helping.

>>39489926
>diazapam
Isn't that the metal gear drug? Do you get super-steady hands from it? I've never taken any kind of mental-health related drug before so I'm kind of curious. I did get offered them once but I told that particular psychologist to go fuck themselves. I don't trust anybody who wants to rewire my head. They can throw any ideas they want at me just don't touch the fucking foundations.

Do you think it helps? Did I fuck up?

>>39489876
Thank you positive poster. Are you somebody's aunt who posts too much on Facebook? You remind me of mine.

>>39489700
Get fucking stoned OUT OF YOUR MIND ON... WEED! Then jack off! I'm high as FUCK right now holy shit tutti fruition I'm in a fucking high ass condition! Man you gotta get high and jack off! Smoke weed every day you ninny! You fucking ninny muggins! Holy fuck anon! Blagahaggaggagaggagaga

>>39490004
Now I feel bad about doing the weedpost.

>>39489628
>browse 4chan, reddit (yeah, I know) and whatever and fap twice in bed before trying to get sleep at 4am
>have to wake up at 6.30

>>39490004
Nah, i just want people to feel good about themselves and anon was clearly making a step in the right direction. So i thought maybe give him kind words for more motivation, cause i know how cruel life can be. + there's already so much negativity going on r9k. Maybe some positive words woul be good for anons. Mentally ill people (including me) also need kindness to cure but most of us don't have that kind of persons in our lives so i thought that i could try making him/her feel a little bit better about him/her self. Now i realize that i sound like a retard, who doesn't understand mental disorders at all.

>>39489700
>tfw weed made it worse

This really makes me feel bad because I enjoyed it before but it just makes me anxious now to the point I get physical symptoms (sweating, chest pains, shaking hands etc)

>>39490085
Fucking hell that's brutal. How much do you sleep during the day? I was worst during high school, I'd just fall asleep on my pencil case during a lot of classes without meaning to. Good thing I was a so good at Math that I could get strong marks in that subject while only needing to be conscious for about 50% of my class-time at the most.

>>39490119
>positive words
There's probably truth to this but it's such a contrast to everything else here that it sets me on edge. There's nothing more bizarre than a sincere exclamation mark on the internet.

>>39490133
Peter Hitchens was right, Weed can be a fucking life-destroyer even if it doesn't immediately inflict heroin-tier bodily destruction upon all users. I haven't smoked of course, but I've seen enough unhappy stoners to make a somewhat informed judgement.

>>39489837
>your mum has worked people into a panic
I did convince her I'm not a insane nutcase or anything during that first car ride, so I doubt they're in a panic. I don't doubt that she overstated some things though. Actually this makes sense, since her side of the family (the ones she talks to every day) treats me differently than my fathers side.

That's the thing, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me or act any different. My friend has put up with my bullshit over the years, but I'm still scared that he'll act differently if he can put a name to why I'm jumpy and wary about large social gatherings. I think I should just tell him, since the last time we were together we went to the store to quickly pick up one item and he had to have noticed that something was not okay with me.

>>39489845
I know what you say is right, but there's that part of me that still says to wait it out and see how things go. Let's say, for example, my friend told me he was going to transition over an instant message. Would it be appropriate if I told him about my anxiety issues the same way? I feel like admitting this part of me would be better done face to face, but at the same time it seems easier to type it out and force myself to just hit enter rather than forcing myself to talk.

File: 1503524487648.jpg (22KB, 351x351px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 351x351px

>>39490155
Yeah shit sucks. I also did cocaine twice which I hugely regret because I had panic attacks both during the high and the come down. Now whenever I just think of cocaine I start feeling sick and anxious

Don't do drugs guys

>>39490133
But what kind of strains do you smoke? Or do you smoke whatever your dealer/whatever is giving you? Cause i understand what you're going through. I also have these symptoms while smoking sativa. I smoke 2 hits and the overthinking starts and bam panic attack.

Smoking weed is like finding a good psychologist, it may take forever but when you got something that suits your personality it can really help.

>>39490155
Wrongo bongo Congo, mufongo! I'm absolutely fucking stoned you ninny! I'm crazy insane on weed!! Homosexuals

>>39490160
>I'm still scared that he'll act differently
I know that feeling and it's shit. If he really knows you he probably wouldn't though. It's an open secret among my friends that I probably have aspergers syndrome. But once the teachers got told that by a professional school changed in a weird way that I didn't like. They tried to be considerate but I always considered it cunty of them. I was still the same hard to educate piece of shit I was before, only the label caused a 180 in behaviour. I don't think that that's right. If you're the kind of person who gets jumpy just walking into a store he probably already more or less thinks whatever the diagnosis would imply, probably better he gets it casually from you though rather than your mother one day coming out with 'anon are you okay you didn't forget your meds and have a panic attack or anything today did you?'

>sudden rush of embarrassing reminders, palms sweating, face blushing and intense desire to die
>Chad survival instinct tells me "chill out bro" and returns to a state of melancholy apathy

>>39490224
I have to admit I was never bothered to find a dealer so I just tended to get it through a friend. I always had these attacks when smoking outside. I'm kind of afraid to smoke at all now regardless where I am and who I'm with. Last time I smoked I had anxiety and depersonalization for a month

I always kind of had issues that come and go concerning intrusive thoughts and seeing/hearing things and feeling like people want to do harm to me etc, I guess it's my fault for getting into drugs despite that

>>39490155
Yeah, i know. But sometimes difference is good. I'm feeling anxious right now and i hate this feeling so i don't want that other people feel the same way as me. Cause it sucks. I know i'm not a magician who magically makes people happier through words and bla bla bla. But i know that sometimes these kind of words really can help. Sorry for setting you on edge, i didn't mean to. I should probably stop talking now.

>>39490004
>Isn't that the metal gear drug? Do you get super-steady hands from it?

i cant remember now if it was diazapam or something else in mgs. i dont notice the effects of it at all except that my anxiety attacks are slightly less severe. it is meant to be a muscle relaxant though i think.

>Do you think it helps? Did I fuck up?

ive had problems with anxiety for a couple of years now and the doctor first prescribed me xanax but my dose got to high after over a year of taking it almost daily and building up a resistance. these drugs are apparently highly addictive and whenever i want to come off of diazapan in the future im going to have to go through benzo withdrawals which are apparently really fucked and can literally kill you. doctor said im going to have to go to a psych ward to come off them. so avoid taking any benzos if you can. keep it as a very last resort. try everything else first: exercise, meditation, diet, cbt etc.

>>39490318
You're still doing it. The amount of raw estrogen emanating from your posts is unwholesome.

>>39490336
>withdrawal
holy shit, you must be on some really hard stuff. They kept insisting to me that the stuff would be minor but I'm not trained in this so how the fuck do I know what 'minor' is in relation to?

>>39490365
>They kept insisting to me that the stuff would be minor but I'm not trained in this so how the fuck do I know what 'minor' is in relation to?

i dont think any doctor would call benzos "minor" so maybe it was something else. when i was first prescribed xanax the doctor didnt mention dependence or withdrawals or anything. just said it would help with anxiety which it did until i built up a tolerance to the current dose and had to increase. if i didnt take it for a few days i started feeling funny.

>>39490247
>tfw there are probably mothers out there who would do something like that
she talks to family, but thank god it's never anything even close to that level (as far as I know anyways). If she was that bad I would have been working as much as possible during college to live away from her.

I like to think I can keep it together well enough to appear like a normal functioning human being in most cases, if a little jumpy, but on the inside it feels worse now than when I was a kid.

Thinking back on it, I'm sure things will be fine between us and he'll understand, or at least try to. We've always been there for each other growing up. Even if nothing else in my life seems to be going right, I know I can rely on him to help and I can't risk fucking that up by doubting him. Now that I think about it, I was probably more anxious in the store with him since I didn't want to do anything that would alarm him or otherwise make him think something was wrong with me.

Thanks for sharing your story and the reassurance anon.

>>39488931

that happens to me too, i heard that anxiety is uncertainty about the future and depression is regret about the past.
Your body knows you are in an unstable situation and gets on defensive mode- anxiety, scaredyness, beta indicators...it takes a toll on the health too.
What you can do is to work in yourself so you and your future self have it better, there's plenty about you you know you have to improve, i surely know my faults.
So there, no complaining, more striving towards a better you.

>tfw cotard's syndrome

Who else /constant feeling of dead/ here?