"Anon, you have 2 minutes to explain why anyone would want

hard worker, with a good attention to detail. I take pride in doing my work correctly, and better than correctly if at all possible

There's no time to explain

>>39399187
I'm discrete enough to not make a big deal over this interview taking place in a woman's restroom while you apply and blend layers of makeup in a really awful looking way

My low self esteem means I'll work way harder than I'm paid for in exchange for the occasional compliment

successful 4 year residency is really all that matters

>>39399187
ASE, investing for 8+ years. Worked with Microsoft @ age 17. Don't give a fuck because I'm going to buy a second house outright... again. Why should I work for you? Also I got my ASE not for work, just because I can. The question is... why should I even work in the first place? I'm a real NEET. Am in sales now. You want to know about investing? Go to /biz/ and also fu. Even when I was working, I wouldn't touch anything for no less than 300 a day! Fu poorfag

>>39399310
I'm not even going to tell you about my other licences. I just do that shit for fun/hobby.

>>39399187
I have an impeccable sense of humor.

File: IMG_1775.jpg (64KB, 388x380px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 388x380px

>>39399187
They wouldn't want to

>>39399310
So you're an auto mechanic who fixed cars for Microsoft, and your salary floor is $78k? Have you thought this through at all?

There's nothing particularly remarkable about me, but for a shitty job stocking shelves or something I shouldn't need some amazing resume. But 18 year old little shit stacy will get the job just because she is going to college to study gender theory or something.

>>39399187
My international business experience, my ability to use the Adobe suit proficiently, my three letters of recommendation. Need I continue

>>39399187
Can do bunch of IT stuff for price way lower than world's average.

>>39399187
Because I am the best at what I do
And if you dont hire me someone else will, and ill be making profit for your competitors.
You have little to lose and much to gain.

(Haha im shit at everything except bullshiting)

Cause I'll do the fucking job why else

>>39399187
*unzips katana*
heh

>>39399213
Originally hired!