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>parents suspecting that I'm gay again
>get tired of their bullshit
>I have a plan
>I hire a prostitute (female, cute butt) and tell her to come when my parents aren't home and bring one used panty (I paid extra)
>I fucked prostitutes before so this isn't a big deal to me but anyway
>I purposefully fuck on the living room's couch so that my "crime" is easy to spot
>I place the extra panty on the ground next to the couch and send the prostitute off
>I go to my room and wait until my parents are home
>they're back a few hours later and I can hear them discussing in the living room after a few minutes
>they call my name
>mom is holding the used panty with the tip of her umbrella, dad is missing
>she asks what's this and I say I don't know
>after obvious insistence from her I finally "admit" I have a gf and fucked her on the couch
>she asks her name but I distract her by saying she should be glad to have a straight son and I pretend to be angry
>dad comes back with the roll of cleaning paper and tells me to "wipe your fucking dick boogers off the couch"
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well now you're in a tangle of lies cause they will keep asking where's your 'gf' and if you keep avoiding the question they might think you might've brought a dude
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>>39369561
Your dad sounds like a self-righteous prick, fuck on his side of the bed next
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>>39369637
Honestly I think they might start suspecting that the panty is mine and I masturbate to crossdressing fantasies, I think just letting them see the prostitute would have been a better idea.
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>>39369666
Based satanic trips, make it messy OP
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>>39369561
>parents suspecting that I'm gay again
>again
What did you do the first time they suspected this?
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>>39370129
I'm not some troglodyte that shows off his sexuality every second, that and no gf.
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>>39370172
So you're saying that previously when they suspected you were gay you didn't do anything to change their mind? Did you hire the prostitute because your parents were particularly annoying or depressed about these suspicions this time?
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>>39370172
So are you gay or not OP? Admit it either way.
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Oh BTW op an easier solution is leaving your computer open to normal porn for your parents to see
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>>39369561
You're a fucking retard. They probably think those were your panties and you were wearing them like the fag you are.
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>>39369561
>dick boogers
holy shit im choking
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>>39369561
Suspecting? You are at least bisexual if you browse /r9k/ wanting to fuck a trap though is straight where do you hover in?
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>>39369561
Just get a girl annon. Its not that difficult. Just go outside like me and the girls will trip over each other to talk to you. You just need to be confident that's all.
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>>39370553
I don't like traps, I'm not gay.
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>>39369561
Now your parents think you're a crossdresser.
Good job faggot.
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>>39370129
I made out with a qt boy from work
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>>39369561
bring a whore to thanksgiving dinner this year to remove all speculation and doubt
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I have been coming to 4chan since 2009, and somehow i still manage to be surprised at how autistic some people can be, what the fuck did i just read?
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Well that's great asshole
I cant fuck cuz i'm beta and super ugly damn it
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>dick boogers
based dad
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>>39369561
>roasing kkb
why anon? unironically good band
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>dick boogers
my fucking sides
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>>39370633
How do you ask a girl out if you don't know her?
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>>39369666
Some quality advice from Satan himself.
Thread posts: 25
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Thread images: 2